(Read to go along with a webinar presented by the author, though it was technically not required due to shipping delays.)

With the usual caveat that you will only ever get as much out of personal development books as you are willing to accept, I found this helpful as an introvert and what Wilding calls a Sensitive Striver. It's for a different demographic than your typical productivity-culture read, so there are concepts and concrete exercises for situations ranging from setting broad life goals (or, like, determining your purpose/ guiding principles in life) to calming yourself down when your emotions run high.

This isn't objectively terrible, but as an adaptation of one of my favorite books in one of my favorite formats it was a huge disappointment. I'm aware that the reading experience is highly subjective, but to me this volume missed the point and missed the mark in several ways. (For what it's worth: I have reread the novel countless times, most recently this past January aka last month, so I'm very familiar with and attached to the minutiae of the original.)

- While the art is adequately visually appealing, the characters and settings all look really generic, and absolutely nothing like how I pictured them.
- There are more characters portrayed as POC, but Abel is totally whitewashed. Yikes.
- With the way the narration and dialogue have been revised and rearranged, the mental health rep is all but nonexistent. This is particularly egregious because it's a large part of why the original novel continues to resonate with me.
- The whole SnowBaz/fanfic aspect felt poorly incorporated overall; I found the "Meet Simon and Baz!" profiles particularly cringeworthy.
- Also, many of my favorite lines and scenes weren't included. Some of Rowell's jokes admittedly haven't aged well, so I don't disagree with their omission from the manga, but that doesn't account for all of these.
- Or certain lines were given to different characters, presumably for pacing and layout reasons, but this has a significant cumulative impact on characterization and tone.
- A lot of Cath's inner dialogue/narration is lifted verbatim from the third-person narration in the novel, which really doesn't work for me: lots of infodumping and telling (particularly of emotions) rather than showing.
- Some of the changes have little to no bearing on the plot (such as Cath's unreliable-narrator Baz story now being a draft of her final writing project, and some heavy foreshadowing about her possible one-sided infatuation with Nick) so I'm baffled by their inclusion. There's also inaccuracies, such as labeling Nick's opening to their anti-love story as being third person when it's clearly second person POV.
- The ending point felt chosen for Drama and suspense rather than its narrative function, though I guess the silver lining is that it confirmed I have no interest in continuing this adaptation series.

content warnings:

Spoiler

past sexual assault, ableism, classism, coma & brain death, mentions of cancer, non-explicit (consensual) sexual content, underage sex

RTC

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CONVERSION: 10.67 / 15 = 4 stars

Prose: 6 / 10
Characters & Relationships: 8 / 10
Emotional Impact: 6 / 10
Development / Flow: 7 / 10
Setting: 8 / 10

Intellectual Engagement: 3 / 5
Originality / Trope Execution: 4 / 5
Memorability: 4 / 5

content warnings:

Spoiler

internalized & external acephobia, cancer (best friends' dad), precanon grandparent deaths, mentioned dysfunctional/toxic relationships

rep:

Spoiler

heteroromantic ace MC [Tash], bi/pan secondary char [Tony], MLM secondary char [Jay], M/M secondary relationship, Buddhist Kiwi immigrant secondary char [Tash's mom]

★ 3.5 stars ★

I'm generally into the content creator/Internet culture premise, and I appreciated that in this case it's presented as a team effort, as opposed to the Lone Wolf Artist who often stars in this kind of story. (Not that I'm opposed to the Lone Wolf Artist; it's just something that makes Tash Hearts Tolstoy a bit more unique.) There's some talk about theater culture, and society's views on art vs. STEM, the details of which give the sense that Ormsbee is speaking from experience and/or research rather than relying on superficial pop-culture knowledge.

With regards to Tash's sexuality, which is a prominent aspect of the narrative, I won't go into a ton of detail — I'm on the ace spectrum but unlike Tash, I do experience sexual attraction (albeit under specific conditions); besides, every individual's experience is different. I'll just note that Tash has a lot of internalized acephobia to work through, which could be triggering for some readers, and she makes several broad assumptions about sexuality and relationships which I found frustrating, if understandable given her limited experience with relationships and the limited information available about asexuality. (And many of these assumptions are challenged at some point, which is an important part of identity and growth.)

Though I have several issues with the romantic subplot, I'd like to preface my critiques with the standard disclaimer that diverse characters (and readers) deserve to see themselves represented in tropes that might otherwise seem tired. So while I'm opposed to love triangles on principle, I was willing to see an ace character at the center — but I was disappointed by the execution:

Spoiler

It was obvious almost from the very beginning that it would be a love triangle, with Tash picking between Paul and Thom, and that Paul was the "endgame" love interest; except for a single prior scene where Thom teases Tash for her drink preferences (which I honestly felt that Tash might've reacted too defensively, jumping to the conclusion that he was being patronizing when it could've just been friendly banter/flirting), and a vague mention that they're mostly talking about things Thom is interested in, there aren't really clues or buildup to Tash's eleventh-hour realization that Thom is an acephobic asshole who clearly hasn't seen her vlogs since he can't even pronounce her name correctly.

But just focusing on the relationship between Tash and

Spoiler

Paul

, I can get behind the ship. I love their foundational friendship and inside jokes/traditions, but I also love that they're not afraid to call each other out. That they apologize sincerely when they hurt each other. That ultimately

Spoiler

Paul challenges Tash's assumption that a (allo)sexual boy couldn't possibly want to be with an ace girl, and she seems to actually process this

.

Plus, I really enjoyed the familial dynamics, as well as how all the interpersonal interactions give the characters more nuance.

As a whole this book has a lot going on, and I think it might have benefitted from cutting down a few storylines/major events to focus on those that remained. But it's more an issue of slight all-around underdevelopment rather than shortchanging or glossing over specific arcs, and there are strong evocative/emotional moments, so at the end of the day it more or less works out.

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CONVERSION: 9.3 / 15 = 3.5 stars

Prose: 6 / 10
Characters & Relationships: 7 / 10
Emotional Impact: 7 / 10
Development / Flow: 5 / 10
Setting: 5 / 10

Diversity & Social Themes: 4 / 5
Originality / Trope Execution: 3 / 5
Memorability: 3 / 5

(Reread for my "Intro to 21st Century Literature" class.)

2.5 stars

Nope, I don't like this any better now, almost three years later, having to take notes to discuss it three times a week; on an enjoyment scale it's somewhere in the 1-2 star range, though I have to give it credit for how brilliantly it's constructed. Though to be fair, some of my annoyance was probably pure resentment over having to reread.

I actively disliked most of the characters, truth be told, and I wasn't particularly interested in the plot. There were a lot of fascinating ideas, but I felt like the follow-through was half-hearted in too many places. The twists and reveals weren't satisfying or satisfyingly dissatisfying, they kind of just ... were. (And weren't. Same thing.)

content warnings:

Spoiler

suicidal ideation, suicide attempts, bullying, mentions of animal abuse, major character death(s), precanon parent death (cancer & Alzheimer's)

rep:

Spoiler

Japanese-American MC, implied-genderqueer Japanese-American MC, Japanese major characters, major characters with mental illness

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CONVERSION: 6.8 / 15 = 2.5 stars

Prose: 4 / 10
Characters & Relationships: 5 / 10
Emotional Impact: 1 / 10
Development / Flow: 4 / 10
Setting: 7 / 10

Diversity & Social Themes: N/A
Intellectual Engagement: 4 / 5
Originality / Trope Execution: N/A
Rereadability: 2 / 5
Memorability: 2 / 5

-----------
[2017 review]
2.75 stars.

It took quite a while for this book to grow on me — as is probably evident from my exasperated statuses — but I did want to like this book since it came highly recommended by a close friend. I did eventually come to like Nao and Ruth and all the others, and there were some interesting philosophical themes.

content warnings:

Spoiler

rep:

Spoiler

Japanese setting & cast; gay Korean (ethnicity)-Japanese (nationality) secondary char [Tamaru]

RTC.

>> Buddy read with Billob!
-----------
CONVERSION: 8.5 / 15 = 3 stars

Prose: 6 / 10
Characters & Relationships: 4 / 10
Emotional Impact: 2 / 10
Development / Flow: 5 / 10
Setting: 8 / 10

Diversity & Social Themes: 3 / 5
Intellectual Engagement: 4 / 5
Rereadability: 4 / 5
Memorability: 3 / 5

This does a lot of things right (i.e., in a way that I enjoyed), with overall pretty compelling storytelling, and I certainly don't want to trivialize the ownvoices Asian representation or the nonbinary representation. But I did predict most of the reveals based on familiar tropes; the brevity of the novella also limited the extent to which I could feel like I was immersed in the narrative or invested in the characters.