content warnings:

Spoiler

internalized & external acephobia, cancer (best friends' dad), precanon grandparent deaths, mentioned dysfunctional/toxic relationships

rep:

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heteroromantic ace MC [Tash], bi/pan secondary char [Tony], MLM secondary char [Jay], M/M secondary relationship, Buddhist Kiwi immigrant secondary char [Tash's mom]

★ 3.5 stars ★

I'm generally into the content creator/Internet culture premise, and I appreciated that in this case it's presented as a team effort, as opposed to the Lone Wolf Artist who often stars in this kind of story. (Not that I'm opposed to the Lone Wolf Artist; it's just something that makes Tash Hearts Tolstoy a bit more unique.) There's some talk about theater culture, and society's views on art vs. STEM, the details of which give the sense that Ormsbee is speaking from experience and/or research rather than relying on superficial pop-culture knowledge.

With regards to Tash's sexuality, which is a prominent aspect of the narrative, I won't go into a ton of detail — I'm on the ace spectrum but unlike Tash, I do experience sexual attraction (albeit under specific conditions); besides, every individual's experience is different. I'll just note that Tash has a lot of internalized acephobia to work through, which could be triggering for some readers, and she makes several broad assumptions about sexuality and relationships which I found frustrating, if understandable given her limited experience with relationships and the limited information available about asexuality. (And many of these assumptions are challenged at some point, which is an important part of identity and growth.)

Though I have several issues with the romantic subplot, I'd like to preface my critiques with the standard disclaimer that diverse characters (and readers) deserve to see themselves represented in tropes that might otherwise seem tired. So while I'm opposed to love triangles on principle, I was willing to see an ace character at the center — but I was disappointed by the execution:

Spoiler

It was obvious almost from the very beginning that it would be a love triangle, with Tash picking between Paul and Thom, and that Paul was the "endgame" love interest; except for a single prior scene where Thom teases Tash for her drink preferences (which I honestly felt that Tash might've reacted too defensively, jumping to the conclusion that he was being patronizing when it could've just been friendly banter/flirting), and a vague mention that they're mostly talking about things Thom is interested in, there aren't really clues or buildup to Tash's eleventh-hour realization that Thom is an acephobic asshole who clearly hasn't seen her vlogs since he can't even pronounce her name correctly.

But just focusing on the relationship between Tash and

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Paul

, I can get behind the ship. I love their foundational friendship and inside jokes/traditions, but I also love that they're not afraid to call each other out. That they apologize sincerely when they hurt each other. That ultimately

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Paul challenges Tash's assumption that a (allo)sexual boy couldn't possibly want to be with an ace girl, and she seems to actually process this

.

Plus, I really enjoyed the familial dynamics, as well as how all the interpersonal interactions give the characters more nuance.

As a whole this book has a lot going on, and I think it might have benefitted from cutting down a few storylines/major events to focus on those that remained. But it's more an issue of slight all-around underdevelopment rather than shortchanging or glossing over specific arcs, and there are strong evocative/emotional moments, so at the end of the day it more or less works out.

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CONVERSION: 9.3 / 15 = 3.5 stars

Prose: 6 / 10
Characters & Relationships: 7 / 10
Emotional Impact: 7 / 10
Development / Flow: 5 / 10
Setting: 5 / 10

Diversity & Social Themes: 4 / 5
Originality / Trope Execution: 3 / 5
Memorability: 3 / 5