claudcloud's Reviews (310)

RTC because I just. I need a little processing time.

But I think you can guess how I felt about this book since I absolutely devoured it in TWO DAYS!!!!

"Even in her most desperate moments, Alizeh had found the courage to move forward by searching the depths of herself; she’d found hope in the sharpness of her mind, in the capacity of her own capable hands, in the endurance of her unrelenting spirit.
She would be broken by nothing.
She refused."

This was my very first book by Tahereh Mafi - and no surprise there, but I was blown away!! Beautifully written, with a lush atmosphere and compelling characters, I enjoyed every second with this, and FLEW through it in spite of it being on the longer side!!

Now, this very much felt like the first book in a series - which is to say that there is a lot of exposition, world-building, establishing our characters' personalities and motivations and so on. However, every single thing is intentional; not overly-explained, giving the reader just enough to immerse them completely into this new world but also keeping them curious every step of the way, making them wish for more. I am wishing for SO much more!!! And I'm so glad, because I feel like this is exactly what a new series is supposed to do, make you want to get your hands on the sequel immediately and see where we go from here. Needless to say, I will be anticipating it very eagerly!

I loved, loved, LOVED Alizeh as a protagonist. I'm rarely left unimpressed by persistence and strength in a character (maybe because that's exactly what I lack), but in her I found even more of a fighter than I expected. She is intelligent, she never gives up on herself, and she always, always knows her worth, regardless of her perceived status in the world. In one of my favorite quotes, she talks about Kamran and his self-assuredness, how he seems to know himself so well, and wishes that she had a bit of that herself - it's evident that she already does, her circumstances are just preventing her from bringing that spark to life.

The budding romance between her and Kamran was SO good, too!!! I could feel the tension through the pages, it was so well-built. At first it struck me as insta-lovey, but I quickly realized that I literally do not care!! Their chemistry, banter and connection is off the charts and I just? Need more?? Immediately, thank you. I love them SO much!!

I also really loved the friendships that we see with our side characters, specifically Kamran and Hazan (!!!!), Alizeh and miss Huda, and the (unbeknownst to them) trio between Alizeh, Omid and Kamran! I truly feel like every character has been constructed in such a way as to be utterly entrancing, and I need more of all of their stories, especially Hazan, since Kamran still doesn't know that his closest friend is a Jinn, and we know next to nothing about the forces that he's building on Alizeh's behalf.

In short, and to sum up this entire review: BOOK TWO NOW, thank you!!!

"No matter when it happens, we all have our endings. No one goes on, but what we leave behind keeps us alive for someone else."

This book... you know how sometimes you just pick a novel up on a whim, just because it sounds interesting and you've been itching to read it for quite some time, and it ends up being something that you really needed to hear in that moment? That's what this did for me - and I flew through it in two sittings!!!

CW: (Pet) death, anxiety, depression

I found this novel a beautiful introspection into the idea of death, and what it means to be faced with your own death so immediately and abruptly. Death-Cast is, to me, equal parts awe-inducing and absolutely fucking terrifying. I cannot IMAGINE ever having that threat hang over me, waiting until midnight every day and not knowing if I'm wishing for the alert to come or for it to stay away. When confronted with your own mortality, what do you do? How do you react, knowing you have less than 24 hours left to be alive? To live?

Silvera does a beautiful job of contemplating this and showing multiple perspectives of it (while I could've done without all the constant interludes and mini-appearances from side characters, they're extremely important in this sense, and truly help the reader see that everyone will cope differently). This book forces you to reckon with the fact that not only is death inevitable, but it can also happen in the blink of an eye, in the split second before one moment and the next.

With the fictional Death-Cast, this universe's humans have a way to try and condense a lifetime into one day - but in reality, nothing can warn or prepare you. This especially hit home, as I suddenly lost my dog, Lucky, back in December of last year. One day he was fine, the next he started rapidly declining. No one saw it coming, nothing could've ever helped me be ready for it, and I'm still grieving, even months later. And since it was the very first time I experienced death this up close, it tilted my world off its axis a little bit and forced me to accept that everything and everyone has an end, as hard as it can be.

Going back to the book, I especially loved Mateo and his quest of finally getting to live after 18 years of only surviving 😭 I found so much of myself in him, and could (quite painfully at that) relate to everything he was thinking and feeling. My own struggles with mental health and my very strong tendency to isolate myself and be solitary because I feel that the world is better off this way have found a home in him, too!! But seeing him come so alive in the short time that we get to know him is really inspiring, too; knowing that his life is about to end gives him the freedom and courage that he needs in order to step off the beaten path, listen to his own desires more and allows him to live his last day as Real Mateo, not Past Mateo. I'M STILL MAD AT HIM FOR NOT HAVING THAT STUPID STOVE FIXED, THOUGH 😤

Last but not least, I want to touch on the ending as well. After seeing how the entire (almost) 24 hours played out, Mateo and Rufus' deaths felt incredibly abrupt, even if the whole book prepares you and constantly tells you that that's exactly what's going to happen. At first, I had that feeling of "Wait... that's IT?" that I don't generally enjoy with books - but after stopping to think about it, I think it's deliberate, and it's another way to drive home the suddenness of death even further. Again, no amount of introspection and contemplation can ever fully make you ready for it, and this book does a wonderful job of pointing that out while also infusing it with a strange beauty, and a sense of hope. it makes you feel like your life doesn't have to be over for you to start truly living it.

I enjoyed this very much - and I'll be keeping it with me forever.

This was a really cute, really enjoyable contemporary, and I thoroughly enjoyed the themes that were explored with it! I desperately needed a palate-cleanser after my previous reads, and that's exactly what I got - an easy, breezy, heartwarming read!

Liz Lighty is our very spunky protagonist, and you can't help but root for her throughout this novel. She has a clear set of goals that she wants to achieve at any cost, but she slowly realizes that nothing is truly worth losing yourself for, which I think is a great lesson. I loved her friendship with Gabi, Britt and Stone, I really liked the dynamic between her and her family, I loved the way in which she and Jordan were able to become close again, and I loved her romance with Mack (the switch from Mack to Amanda was immaculate and something that I DIE for every time!!)

That being said, while I really did enjoy my experience with this, I feel like the main area that it lacks in is the writing. As this is a YA and I am clearly not the main intended audience, I can't - and won't - judge it too harshly because of it, but I have to mention a couple of things that really stood out to me.

First, the pacing was entirely too fast and off-balance for my liking. As the chapters were generally kept very short, everything unfolded at the speed of a bullet train, and as a result, the story felt a little underdeveloped to me. We're moving so quickly through scenes and events that we barely have any time to process what just happened in the previous chapters. While this did end up creating a Lighty Fast (HA) reading experience, I do feel like the novel would've benefitted from more pages and more time dedicating to fully developing the story and the characters.

Secondly - and again, I'm not judging the book too harshly because of this, because it was not written for me - I was also very off-put by the constant pop-culture references. I enjoy them when done in moderation, but when you have them on essentially every page, it makes the book feel a bit too tacky for my tastes.

This feels like the book I would've needed when I was in high school myself, or just about to enter it. It's got a very feel-good story, inspiring characters, and a message that little girls (little Black girls, especially) need and deserve to hear - that they are everything, just the way they are, and that they are always worthy of good things. Personally, though, it didn't have as much of an impact and fell a little flat - but if 15-year old Clau would've had a story like this, especially a QUEER story?? She would have been in LOVE!! And any book that teaches kids how incredible they are just by being themselves is a very worthwhile book to experience, I believe!

  After how much I adored "The Song of Achilles", there was no way I wasn't going to pick this one up as soon as I heard of it - short and sweet, but definitely packs a punch!

Galatea's story echoes that of so many women who are trapped, and who aren't allowed to step into their own life and take advantage of their independence because of men who think they know better, and who believe that a "good woman" is obedient, meek and submissive.

Coupled with Madeline's stellar writing, this is an incredible exploration into the myth of Pygmalion. Beautifully executed, but you can't help but want more!!

 “A rose is a rose, even by another name,” he whispered. “But we choose whether we will offer beauty to the world, or if we will use our thorns to sting.”

RTC but just know. I adored this, I adore this duology, and I am completely broken.

Update on 03/15/2022: I'm still processing and still very much struggling to put just how much I loved this into words - but I'm gonna do my best because GOD DAMN this was a sucker-punch to the gut in the BEST possible way??? And I'll be thinking of this story FOREVER. Truly, truly a stunner, and I'm so so happy to have finally gotten to experience it 😭

This second installment feels like TVD ramped up to... infinity, and I ADORED it. Everything becomes that much more high-stakes, that much more bloody, that much more intense, terrifying and mysterious, and the atmosphere that Chloe creates is so good. Even from the first book to this one, you can tell how much she's grown as a writer - the prose just flows, and it takes you right along with it (as you can tell by the fact that I devoured this as fast as I could)!!

Roma and Juliette's relationship is just... so well crafted, too. The tension, the pining, the I-Want-To-Murder-You-But-I-Can’t-Because-I’m-In-Love-With-You???? It was so immaculate. We got a taste of it in the first book, of course, but this time around we got so much more of it when the situation was reversed and when it became Juliette who was doing (most of) the pining. Everything amplifies, everything is just so much more tangible and palpable and you can feel it through the pages!!

I would be remiss not to also mention Marshall and Benedikt, who I was damn near close to physically getting up and CHEERING for when they finally got it together enough to realize how they felt about each other 👏🏻 They're incredible, and if we ever got a book completely centered on them, I'd be the very first person to say "thank you for the meal"!!!

Last but not least, I have to talk about that beautiful, heartbreaking ending. It's perfect in my eyes. Juliette has always held her love close to her chest, willing to stand up to anything and anyone for it, but her love doesn’t just include Roma. She loves him more than anything, but she also loves her city, as broken and fractured and bleeding as it is. Most of all, she knows that Roma understands this fundamental piece that makes up the puzzle of her character - she says herself that he wouldn’t be able to let her leave Shanghai in such a horrible state, because Roma knows her well enough to realize that she wouldn’t be able to live with herself if she did. To be loved is to be known. Deeply, to one’s core, and that’s what these two are to each other.

If you ask me, they lived happily ever after. But it's the ambiguity of their survival that makes this all the more heart-wrenching. Better to have hope, to hold on to that blaze of warmth that keeps you alive, than know for sure and end up being disappointed. Very glad that Chloe at least allowed us this ONE tiny smidgen of mercy after all that she’s put these two through 😭

I loved it, I love every single character, I could talk about this series for hours, and it will always stay with me. Who knew that Romeo and Juliette as gangsters in 1920's Shanghai could do that to me - but I wouldn't have it any other way!!

"They have always said that Shanghai is an ugly daughter, but as the years grow on, it isn’t enough anymore to characterize this city as merely one entity. This place rumbles on Western idealism and Eastern labor, hateful of its split and unable to function without it, multiple facets fighting and grappling in an ever-constant quarrel. Half filthy rich, half dirt poor; half land, half water flowing in from the East China Sea.
That is what this city is. The party at the end of the world."

This was a wonderful re-imagining of Romeo and Juliet's story! Being a fan of Shakespeare and having read and loved his play, I knew what to expect in broad lines, but I was absolutely not prepared for how much more exciting and high-stakes this felt!!

What stood out to me with this book was Shanghai's story and its development. The terror that sweeps over the city with the apparition of the monster (and with the already existing tensions at an all time high making it all even worse) is palpable.

Chloe does such an amazing job at telling history through a fantasy lens, as Shanghai really was as divided and in danger as we feel it to be in this book. I regrettably don’t know much, if anything, about Chinese history, but it was all explained and presented so well that you couldn’t help but feel that push and pull, that overwhelming desire to mediate between East and West, between traditional values and modernity. It really was beautifully done!

Of course, as I always do, I fell in love with the characters as well. Juliette is the most badass, take-no-shit heroine that I could wish for, and Roma completes her perfectly. It’s not often that the woman is the grump and the man is the sunshine (or, at least, as sunshine as the leader of a gang can get), but I enjoyed every second of their banter and their tension. It’s all about the yearning!!!

Also, we need to talk about one mister Marshall Seo, because he has completely stolen my heart, and I am SO beyond glad that we get to see more of him (and him and Benedikt)!! If you’ve also read Romeo and Juliet, you know full well what happens to Mercutio, and so the threat of that was a constant thought in the back of my mind as soon as I realized who he was supposed to embody in the retelling. SO happy that the original "death potion" was used so differently and cleverly here!

I will say, the beginning of this was a bit slow for me - but I can't attribute that to the book itself, as I've had a bad brain... weeks, month, really. So everything was harder for me to do. All I want from a series, though, is that I want to continue it immediately - and BOY DO I WANT TO GO READ "OUR VIOLENT ENDS" LIKE, NOW, RIGHT NOW!!!!!

““I think being yourself - your true, entire self - is always going to feel like you’re fishing upstream.”
”Yeah. But if the last few years with you have been any indication, I think it also feels like taking your bra off at the end of the day.””

I'm now no longer surprised by all the praises that have been sung to this book - because it deserves every single one of them. Evelyn's story was captivating to the very end, and most of all, it is so unbelievably real, that it feels like you could pluck her off the pages and no one would be surprised that she actually exists. Her life truly makes you fall in love with her, as anyone who's ever come across her did (more in the spoilers on that - but please, only click them after having experienced this book)!

This story is about a woman so determined to become somebody, that she’s unafraid to step on whatever corpses she needs to in order to get it. Even if, most of the time, that corpse turns out to be her own. As we see Evelyn through most of her life, as we begin to unfold her complicated life, it’s so easy to resent her and to paint her as the villain. The things she’s done to get to where she is have the ability to crucify her - but somehow, they never do, and I think this is part of why this book is so masterful. Taylor Jenkins Reid paints Evelyn in all of her complexity. We see a woman who’s brazenly unashamed and who doesn’t regret a single salacious, wild thing that she’s had to do - because ultimately, it was all on her own terms, and for her own gain and survival. Keeping in mind that she rose to stardom in the 50s and 60s, this is even more powerful. What you are left with by the end is awe, in the same way that everyone that has ever met her has been. Evelyn is, at her core, resilient, strong and capable, and she knows exactly how to make something out of nothing, exactly when she needs to.

Moreover, this story - and now we’re getting to the heart and soul of the book, the reason why Evelyn becomes more and more painfully human the more you read - is also about the kind of love that, ironically enough, you only see in movies (or literature). The kind of love that’s both selfless, and allows you to put the other person’s happiness before your own, but can also turn jealous and angry in the blink of an eye. Real, true love, with all of its ugliness, but a love that is ultimately worth sacrificing everything for. That is the kind of love that Evelyn and Celia shared, and that is the true catalyst of the story. More than wanting to meet Monique, more than wanting to set the record straight (😇) about her life, Evelyn couldn’t bear keeping her heart a secret anymore. She couldn’t die without the world knowing how much she adored Celia, and she couldn’t leave behind a legacy of carefully curated narratives, when this one was the only one that ever truly mattered. It’s why Monique chooses to focus on her bisexuality in her Vivant article - because she knows that it’s the part of herself that Evelyn desperately wanted to make known, but that she was forced to keep a secret (by circumstance, society, and most painfully, by her own hubris).

This was an absolutely stunning novel, and I’m so happy to have finally experienced it. I think it would make SUCH an amazing movie, too!!

""I think that's pretty standard protocol, before embarking on a fake-dating relationship."
He tilted his head. "Standard protocol?"
"Yup."
"How many times have you done this?"
"Zero. But I am familiar with the trope.""

It finally happened!! I read the Reylo fanfiction!! And I enjoyed it way more than I thought I would!! This book was fun, engaging, and a delightful spin on one of my favorite tropes ever!!

Of course, as always, I really enjoyed all the characters - they felt very well-rounded, and I cared about every single one of them, including Ahn (who I absolutely ADORE) and Malcolm. The stand-out was, of course, Olive, because I was able to see so much of myself in her, in spite of not being a scientist. I deeply related to her not-good-enough feelings, and I understood exactly where she was coming from with being unwilling to let anyone get close to her, because in the past, she got burned by the same thing and got left behind. The science part felt like the only thing that we didn’t have in common, and it’s always incredible when a book makes you feel this seen!

Her friendship with Ahn was also SUCH a stand-out - it’s always a little bittersweet for me to read about characters who’ve found their “person”, and my longing seems like it’ll never stop, but it’s also heartwarming, and beautiful, and just proves that true friendship is a unique kind of magic that can’t be replaced with anything else 😭

I also really - and again, I didn’t expect to - but I really loved Adam’s character! In spite of his angsty, unapproachable exterior (and if you know me, you will know that I live for that stuff and would’ve fallen ever harder than Olive did), he also had dimension, and his attitude towards his work was something I was really impressed by, regardless of the fact that he sometimes struggles to express it accurately.

I was also pleasantly surprised by the fact that Ali didn’t shy away from portraying the misogyny that can plague STEM. Of course, I’m not speaking as someone with any experience in the matter, but this is still a world where women (especially BIPOC women), have to work thrice as hard to get half as far, in any field. I was very happy to see Olive stand up for herself and not let Tom off the hook for what he did, and I think that these are conversations that are extremely important and very much worth having, which is why I’m glad that this book handles it perfectly.

In terms of the plot, I really liked that it felt very real at all times. Some fake-dating tropes that I’ve read in the past seem to come completely out of the blue, but in this case, I feel like it was done justice. Both Olive and Adam have motives that feel adequately realistic, and I appreciated that both had their own reasons for starting their relationship. Similarly, their breakup doesn’t happen just because there needs to be angst before the happily ever after - it happens because of a very tangible, very scary thing that Olive is going through, and because she thinks that being out of his life for good will protect Adam. As misguided as it is, yes, we understand her reasons perfectly, and that’s what makes it all the more grounded. The story felt fresh, and I thoroughly enjoyed how the plot unfolded!

Now, I did have some minor gripes with it. The miscommunication trope also rears its ugly head, though I think that in this instance it’s not as bad as it could’ve been, because Olive drawing all the wrong conclusions was ultimately consistent with who she is at her core - I’d have done the exact same thing. I also read the words “large, big, tall” and their various iterations more times than I can count, and we get it, he’s huge, you’re not even that short, Olive, talk to me when you’re 5 feet tall at 25 and will never grow more!!! But again, personally, I can excuse this - because every person I’ll date, if I ever do, will feel massive to me 😅

All in all, this was a total feel-good read for me, and I’m very excited to see what Ali comes up with next and pick up her next books!!