““I think being yourself - your true, entire self - is always going to feel like you’re fishing upstream.”
”Yeah. But if the last few years with you have been any indication, I think it also feels like taking your bra off at the end of the day.””

I'm now no longer surprised by all the praises that have been sung to this book - because it deserves every single one of them. Evelyn's story was captivating to the very end, and most of all, it is so unbelievably real, that it feels like you could pluck her off the pages and no one would be surprised that she actually exists. Her life truly makes you fall in love with her, as anyone who's ever come across her did (more in the spoilers on that - but please, only click them after having experienced this book)!

This story is about a woman so determined to become somebody, that she’s unafraid to step on whatever corpses she needs to in order to get it. Even if, most of the time, that corpse turns out to be her own. As we see Evelyn through most of her life, as we begin to unfold her complicated life, it’s so easy to resent her and to paint her as the villain. The things she’s done to get to where she is have the ability to crucify her - but somehow, they never do, and I think this is part of why this book is so masterful. Taylor Jenkins Reid paints Evelyn in all of her complexity. We see a woman who’s brazenly unashamed and who doesn’t regret a single salacious, wild thing that she’s had to do - because ultimately, it was all on her own terms, and for her own gain and survival. Keeping in mind that she rose to stardom in the 50s and 60s, this is even more powerful. What you are left with by the end is awe, in the same way that everyone that has ever met her has been. Evelyn is, at her core, resilient, strong and capable, and she knows exactly how to make something out of nothing, exactly when she needs to.

Moreover, this story - and now we’re getting to the heart and soul of the book, the reason why Evelyn becomes more and more painfully human the more you read - is also about the kind of love that, ironically enough, you only see in movies (or literature). The kind of love that’s both selfless, and allows you to put the other person’s happiness before your own, but can also turn jealous and angry in the blink of an eye. Real, true love, with all of its ugliness, but a love that is ultimately worth sacrificing everything for. That is the kind of love that Evelyn and Celia shared, and that is the true catalyst of the story. More than wanting to meet Monique, more than wanting to set the record straight (😇) about her life, Evelyn couldn’t bear keeping her heart a secret anymore. She couldn’t die without the world knowing how much she adored Celia, and she couldn’t leave behind a legacy of carefully curated narratives, when this one was the only one that ever truly mattered. It’s why Monique chooses to focus on her bisexuality in her Vivant article - because she knows that it’s the part of herself that Evelyn desperately wanted to make known, but that she was forced to keep a secret (by circumstance, society, and most painfully, by her own hubris).

This was an absolutely stunning novel, and I’m so happy to have finally experienced it. I think it would make SUCH an amazing movie, too!!