4.5 stars.

Negative a star for making me think about human women giving birth to puppies, but a half star for this:

"Kettleburn retired to Hogsmeade but was unable, due to his physical infirmities, to take part in the Battle of Hogwarts. Determined to play his part, he clambered into his attic and threw his entire stock of Flobberworms out of the skylight at passing Death Eaters. While this may not have had much effect on the outcome of the battle, it was generally felt to show the right spirit."

So Umbridge was just a terrible person from birth. Good to know.

In Kafkaesque form, a man turns into a giant breast and somehow still continues to be a horny dick. This seems more like a story you write for yourself and never, ever, let it see the light of day. We all have those, Mr. Roth, but most of us have the good sense to, uh, keep it to ourselves.

I loved it, because I love Harry Potter and more Harry Potter is always good news for me, but it didn't answer any of my burning questions about the Sorting Hat. Is it imbued with some sort of precognition? How else can you judge a child of eleven and place them into one of four boxes? How many futures has the Hat shaped by this very simple act of social stratification? Nearly a thousand years. Truly, one of the most powerful characters in the series and yet seen only as a talking object one must haul out once a year. How very Slytherin.

This is way more serious than I anticipated, but I really love it? It was immediately engrossing in a way that most comics that have a lot of text aren't. There's a good balance between panels. I love the portions with her father's letters to her mother while he was in the army, like seeing a little bit of his personality outside the scope of Alison's narration.

Chosen for Book Riot's "celebrity memor" challenge. I enjoyed Pitch Perfect, so uh, here we are.

"I want to be a real person, even if that person wasn't so great to begin with. I want to always be able to say, Hey, I'm not incompetent because I got famous, I'm incompetent because I'm a pathetic waste of humanity. But I'm not about to let it get any worse."

Funny, enjoyable, easy to breeze through. What more can you ask for from a celebrity memoir?