MF!! I wrote a whole review of this and GoodReads ATE IT. I am never going to be able to recreate the GENIUS of the original review. ETA: OK WTF GOODREADS NOW BOTH MY REVIEWS OF BEAUTIFUL CREATURES ARE SHOWING UP?? OK whatever, fine, these are all very important opinions.

OK bullet points:
- Too long
- Too emo for the average adult reader to tolerate (aces for the average teen reader)
- Marian the Librarian RULES but I'm mad they never ever referred to her as Marian the Librarian even though her name is Marian and she's the town's magical librarian. COME ON.
- The movie was way better than the book, which I think only ever happens when overly-long emo YA books are turned into movies. The movie also really streamlined the whole magical lineage/curse business (which if you only saw the movie you may find hard to believe, but it's seriously BEYOND COMPLICATED in the book).
- Like 1/3 of this book is descriptions of outfits. Oh, I get it, Lena wears dresses and Converse, what a weirdo. No wonder nobody likes her.

I just realized I don't remember how this ends?? Like, I remember how the ~romantic partnerings~ end up, but I don't remember if the Evil Corporation gets its comeuppance or not? And I read this a week ago? UHHHH

Anyway, this was a pretty fun, quick read. I think Michael Grant & Katherine Applegate are both great at writing snappy, pop culture-laden teen dialogue, which I love. (Obvi.) A good read for tweens & teens who are into genetically modified teen adventures, like Michael Grant's BZRK, Jessica Khoury's Origin, or James Patterson's Maximum Ride. (But this was way better than Maximum Ride.)

This was apparently designed as the jumping off point into Avengers comix for people who liked the movies. COOL THAT DESCRIBES ME PERFECTLY, THANX MARVEL.

I still don't know wtf is going on out in outer space but I don't think it really matters b/c this has plenty of Tony and Clint being assholes and Hulk smashing stuff and Natasha being awesome so like, I'll keep reading it. For sure.

GET IT, (BAT)GIRL!!!

I like Batgirl because her inner monologue sounds a lot like my Twitter feed except way more heroic. I like Gail Simone for writing cool lady adventures & writing plotlines that let Batgirl use brains AND brawn AND ballet!! yeahhhhhhh!!

GAHHHH THIS BOOK WAS SO BAD IT MADE ME VERY ANGRY AND CONFUSED.

Like, how could it be SO boring and yet SO stupidly-action packed? Like, stuff kept happening on every page but it never really made sense and I never really got emotionally involved with any of the characters?

GAHHHH

GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I only read the whole thing out of sheer spite and stubbornness.

Obviously these appeal to a lot of people--the whole series flies off the shelf at my library and James Patterson has sold infinity books. Am I just this much of a snob? I like tons of terrible stuff. But this was SO BAD UGHHHHH

UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I listened to the audiobook of the [b:The False Prince|12432220|The False Prince (The Ascendance Trilogy, #1)|Jennifer A. Nielsen|http://d.gr-assets.com/books/1333227435s/12432220.jpg|16221764] because there was a lot of buzz about it and I was surprised by how much I enjoyed it, given that I don't usually care for this kind of fantasy/monarchy/whatever. But I loved the character of Sage and I loved the narrator for the audio, which I continued to hear in my head as I read the paper version of this.

Anyway, SHIT GOT SO REAL IN THIS, I READ IT ALL IN ONE DAY

Spoiler

SO REAL

I appreciate the way that Nielsen is able to make this all so intense and plausible. Liiiike.... realy, the long-lost teenage king needs to battle to the death to become the pirate king? FUCK YEAH HE DOES

Sage/Jaron is so clever and resourceful, and I dig that.

Has anyone else read this? Can we talk about Imogen?? She, to me, was the one weirdo misstep of False Prince. Is it just love at first sight? What's the DEAL. I kept expecting there to be some other twist like SHE'S SECRETLY THE PRINCESS OF GENOVIA. But so far nothing. Maybe that's saved for book 3???

Anyway I liked when Amarinda and and Jaron kinda had stuff worked out but then the extra twist at the end CONCERNED me.

Umm oh and I loved Imogen burying knives all over the place. Like, who thinks like that. I guess that is why Jaron digs her.

WHEW. YES. IN SUMMARY, WHEN IS BOOK 3

I guess... I had different expections for this book? Which I realize is on me, not on Joan Didion? I thought it would be more of a narrative of her grief after her husband's sudden death and her daughter's illness (she died right before this was published but after the book was written, in fact). But like... I would say at least 1/3 of this book was descriptions of beach houses and hotels she and her husband used to stay in.

The parts where she actually describes her grief and weird, magical emotions are the most interesting.

I kinda feel like she published this too soon after her husband's death and if she'd waited awhile and revised it maybe the book would have been stronger for it. But perhaps it is more honest for its immediacy, even if the immediacy led to me wondering if this book was sponsored by the Beverly Wilshire hotel. (In fairness, it sounds like a very nice hotel, and if I could afford to stay there I suppose it might figure heavily into my own memoir.)

Also, why did this win the National Book Award?? Like... did people feel bad for her, or was everything else published in 2005 terrible, or did I just completely not get this book?

IDK, for my money if you want to read a compelling narrative about grief, try [b:A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius|4953|A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius|Dave Eggers|http://d.gr-assets.com/books/1327714834s/4953.jpg|42857]... but I know a lot of people hate that book so your mileage may vary.

Good stuff. These are issues I think about kind of a lot, since I myself am an avid consumer of camp and bad art. I think this story is a good exploration of an interesting topic. Like... is it mean-spirited to watch and heckle bad movies? Who does it hurt? I personally think there's a line between thinking Rebecca Black's song Friday is hilarious and leaving Rebecca Black hateful YouTube comments. (For the record: I did the former but not the latter). I guess the problem with the internet is that it's become a very thin line between content and creator. On the other hand, people ARE putting this stuff out here for people to consume, and they don't really get to control how people respond to it. It's not like we hacked into Tommy Wiseau's computer and found The Room. He bought a billboard for it.

Like... I don't want to hurt Tommy Wiseau's feelings, I guess. But I enjoy the SHIT out of The Room. I enjoy it more than most things that are "good," like, whoever gets to define good.

I find it pretty reassuring that there are hundreds of years of precedence for love-hating bad art.

Umm anyway, I'd recommend checking this out if you like camp/bad art. (It also references Susan Sontag's Notes on Camp, which like...... it pretty much has to. Though O'Connell is arguing that we've moved beyond camp and into something else entirely, which perhaps we have.)

I haven't read a whole lot of Superman comics but I'm pretty into AU Socialist Soviet Superman.

What I like: Batwoman, Kate Kane, Maggie Sawyer, and all permutations of interactions between them.

What I don't like, or at least not in this book:

Spoiler

Medusa and the whole bringing beliefs to life thing?? IDK I don't want to blanket say that I don't like stories about ~the power of myth~, because I do, but I guess... Gotham/Batbooks, to me, are more grounded in reality? Like if the Avenger took on some lady who could bring myths to life, fine, cool. When Batwoman does it I'm just like, what?

Anyway so I'm still into Batwoman but I personally hope this storyline wraps up soon.