7/27/20: I re-read this and annotated it and I appreciated it enough knowing what I know that I will be saying this is now a 3.5 rating instead of just a 3. Thanks, bye.

1/28/20: just updated my rating from a 4 to a 3 because i'm reading ACOMAF and there's no way these two are on the same level.

I am now SJM trash so I guess y’all need to welcome me to the club. This was like watching a trashy faerie soap opera in my head and I must say I enjoyed it quite a bit. Sort of like beauty and the beast except with faeries and blood and sex. Judge me if you want, but I’m here for it.

Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for the opportunity to read this advance review copy for an honest review. The Black Kids tells a story not only of racial injustice, but what it’s like coming of age during a time where you’re unsure of where you stand in the world. Ashley has always been “the black girl” among her friends. Taking the little microaggressions in stride, trying not to let them get to her, thinking of the other black kids she encounters as the “them”, not because she doesn’t realize she’s black, but because they aren’t what she knows. After all, she’s known her friends since they were kids and yeah they may say dumb shit, but they don’t mean any harm right? And considering the privileged life she’s been able to lead, she probably doesn’t have a right to complain. That’s part of the reason she has such a hard time connecting to her older sister. Jo wants to fight injustice, but has she ever really experienced injustice? After all, how many Black kids get the opportunity to crash not one but two luxury cars? So yeah, maybe Ashley doesn’t feel like she and her sister have a right to complain, but that doesn’t make what’s going on right.

With Rodney King’s beating and trial going on, suddenly things that Ashley never tried to give much thought to are popping up more and more. She’s not only dealing with prom, graduation, and the prospect of college, but now people all over the city are angry. Suddenly her safe sheltered world is anything but. There’s rioting in the streets, neighborhoods are being burned down, protests are being held throughout the city, and Ashley’s quiet little neighborhood is feeling the effects. It soon becomes clear that Ashley can’t stay neutral for long. Not when things are reaching their boiling points and her mistakes are bubbling to the surface.

The biggest thing I enjoyed about this book was the fact that we got to see Ashley learn and grow along the way. She’s not the perfect teenager and she messes up countless times. From the beginning, it’s clear that she’s bothered by the little comments her friends make or that her Blackness always seems to be a joke or fun fact, but she never confronts her friends about it, because what good would it do? They don’t mean any harm right? Wrong. Microaggressions still hurt, no matter who they come from, no matter what the intention. Ashley eventually realizes this when she commits a microaggression of her own that she can’t take back. Suddenly she’s learning just how much destruction words or casual comments can cause when said to the wrong people or with the wrong tone.

We follow Ashley as she moves along her journey and comes to understand who she is. She’s not just learning about and witnessing racial injustice, but dealing with being on the outs with her sister during a crisis, keeping a secret from one of her best friends, boy trouble, parental expectations, and having to come to terms with the woman who helped raise her leaving to return to her own family. Not to mention her family being directly impacted by the riots in LA. Ashley is attempting to find her place in the world and it just so happens that that world is imploding.

Overall Ashley learns some hard lessons and family secrets along the way and I truly believed she comes out on the opposite end, not completely grown, but showing signs of definite growth. It’s hard being a Black woman in this country, but Black Girl Magic is a beautiful thing to witness.

8/10/2020- I've re-read, tabbed, and processed. Feyre does the most, I love a good mating bond, we stan the Court of Dreams, Rhys is bae, give me an Illyrian please. Thanks. That is all.

1/28/2020- Hi, still processing wtf just happened. Thanks, bye.

For as long as she can remember, Tarisai has been alone with nothing but her tutors to keep her company. Her mother, known as “The Lady” rarely ever comes around and her father is nowhere to be found. She’s grown used to this existence up until the moment where The Lady comes to gather her. She has a special trip planned. It turns out, Tarisai has been kept isolated from the world for a purpose: to join Prince Dayo’s Council of 11 when she comes of age. Tarisai knew nothing of this plan until her mother showed her a picture of Dayo. See, Tarisai is half ehru, which means she’s compelled to fulfill a limited number of wishes for her mother. For her third and final wish, The Lady orders Tarisai to gain Prince Dayo’s trust, become one of his 11 and then when he loves her the most, kill him. Tarisai is brought to the capital of Aritsar, but she has no clue why she’s there. She doesn’t know what this visit is about, what will happen and doesn’t even remember what her mother commanded her to do. Tarisai is excited at the possibility of finally having friends and not being alone…but little does she know those friends will come at a cost.

Let me tell you what I loved about this book, which was essentially…EVERYTHING!

From the moment we meet Tarisai, you can’t help but feel connected to her. She’s a little girl who wants nothing more than to be loved by the mother she almost never gets to see, but even deeper than that she just doesn’t want to be alone anymore. You can’t help but feel sorry for her, simply because from the beginning it’s clear she’s being used as a pawn in a game she doesn’t understand. She’s thrust into a situation she doesn’t understand as a child and is forced to adapt despite the fact that according to the current emperor and his Council, she looks exactly like her mother who was a traitor to the empire, or so they say. She has no idea if it’s true or not or what her mother did, but being the spitting image of her and having a hallow that allows her to see, steal, and replace memories can be very dangerous. The Council of 11 are the only ones who can harm the Emperor. They are his most trusted advisors, helping to keep the realm and Emperor safe, connected by something known as a Ray, which connects their minds to one another. What will happen if Tarisai actually becomes a member of the Council? She could be a danger to Prince Dayo? She seems innocent enough, but how can they be sure? How can Tarisai herself be sure?

These questions lead me to my point. No one knows for sure what’s going to happen. It’s clear that Tarisai has found her place in the capital, but the curse is also always in the back of the readers mind. How will Tarisai overcome this obstacle? Is she strong enough to fight against her mother’s wishes and forge her own destiny? Will anyone figure out what’s truly going on??? THE PEOPLE NEED TO KNOW!

The other piece of Raybearer that I loved were the characters themselves. I think often times, side characters don’t get enough love and so we’re left not feeling connected to them. Jordan did an amazing job going against that grain with this book. Kirah, Dayo, and Sanjeet are all amazing in their own right. Kirah and Tarisai immediately connect with one another and Kirah is such a kind soul that it’s hard not to love her from the very beginning. Dayo, it’s clear, has spent his whole life waiting for the moment that he’ll have his own Council of 11, not because he wants to rule, but because that means he’ll finally have friends who understand him and love him; People he’ll be connected with for the rest of his life. Sanjeet….listen I swooned over Sanjeet the moment he was introduced. He’s completely misunderstood because of his size and his past, but he’s so much more than a soldier or a fighter. After growing up in an abusive home and losing his little brother, he’s come to adore Dayo, but he’s terrified of losing him too. He understands Tarisai in a way that no one else can. He understands what it’s like to grow up alone and afraid and wanting your parent’s love and approval, but never seeming to be enough. I just wanted to wrap him up in my arms and never let him go. It was like that for so many of the characters. You learn and watch them grow along the way and you can’t help but to root for them.

Finally, the Jordan’s writing is just amazing. She brings the cultures and the world of Aritsar alive with her words and imagery. This felt like a kingdom I not only wanted to visit, but also spend serious time in. Each of the kingdoms of the Empire has their own culture and beliefs and I just wanted nothing more than to learn about each and every one of them. It’s truly amazing when an author can meld fantasy, culture, and amazing characters into one story and honestly, that’s exactly what Jordan did with Raybearer.

Not only is this story amazing, but it also tackles some amazing things. We get to see on page Ace rep, the threat of losing your culture to colonization, just how harmful colonization can be, the importance of friendship, parental abandonment and abuse/manipulation, misogyny, the bullshit that is the patriarchy, and what happens when men are scared of powerful women.

I just have a lot of feelings about this book okay. Deal with it.