For as long as she can remember, Tarisai has been alone with nothing but her tutors to keep her company. Her mother, known as “The Lady” rarely ever comes around and her father is nowhere to be found. She’s grown used to this existence up until the moment where The Lady comes to gather her. She has a special trip planned. It turns out, Tarisai has been kept isolated from the world for a purpose: to join Prince Dayo’s Council of 11 when she comes of age. Tarisai knew nothing of this plan until her mother showed her a picture of Dayo. See, Tarisai is half ehru, which means she’s compelled to fulfill a limited number of wishes for her mother. For her third and final wish, The Lady orders Tarisai to gain Prince Dayo’s trust, become one of his 11 and then when he loves her the most, kill him. Tarisai is brought to the capital of Aritsar, but she has no clue why she’s there. She doesn’t know what this visit is about, what will happen and doesn’t even remember what her mother commanded her to do. Tarisai is excited at the possibility of finally having friends and not being alone…but little does she know those friends will come at a cost.

Let me tell you what I loved about this book, which was essentially…EVERYTHING!

From the moment we meet Tarisai, you can’t help but feel connected to her. She’s a little girl who wants nothing more than to be loved by the mother she almost never gets to see, but even deeper than that she just doesn’t want to be alone anymore. You can’t help but feel sorry for her, simply because from the beginning it’s clear she’s being used as a pawn in a game she doesn’t understand. She’s thrust into a situation she doesn’t understand as a child and is forced to adapt despite the fact that according to the current emperor and his Council, she looks exactly like her mother who was a traitor to the empire, or so they say. She has no idea if it’s true or not or what her mother did, but being the spitting image of her and having a hallow that allows her to see, steal, and replace memories can be very dangerous. The Council of 11 are the only ones who can harm the Emperor. They are his most trusted advisors, helping to keep the realm and Emperor safe, connected by something known as a Ray, which connects their minds to one another. What will happen if Tarisai actually becomes a member of the Council? She could be a danger to Prince Dayo? She seems innocent enough, but how can they be sure? How can Tarisai herself be sure?

These questions lead me to my point. No one knows for sure what’s going to happen. It’s clear that Tarisai has found her place in the capital, but the curse is also always in the back of the readers mind. How will Tarisai overcome this obstacle? Is she strong enough to fight against her mother’s wishes and forge her own destiny? Will anyone figure out what’s truly going on??? THE PEOPLE NEED TO KNOW!

The other piece of Raybearer that I loved were the characters themselves. I think often times, side characters don’t get enough love and so we’re left not feeling connected to them. Jordan did an amazing job going against that grain with this book. Kirah, Dayo, and Sanjeet are all amazing in their own right. Kirah and Tarisai immediately connect with one another and Kirah is such a kind soul that it’s hard not to love her from the very beginning. Dayo, it’s clear, has spent his whole life waiting for the moment that he’ll have his own Council of 11, not because he wants to rule, but because that means he’ll finally have friends who understand him and love him; People he’ll be connected with for the rest of his life. Sanjeet….listen I swooned over Sanjeet the moment he was introduced. He’s completely misunderstood because of his size and his past, but he’s so much more than a soldier or a fighter. After growing up in an abusive home and losing his little brother, he’s come to adore Dayo, but he’s terrified of losing him too. He understands Tarisai in a way that no one else can. He understands what it’s like to grow up alone and afraid and wanting your parent’s love and approval, but never seeming to be enough. I just wanted to wrap him up in my arms and never let him go. It was like that for so many of the characters. You learn and watch them grow along the way and you can’t help but to root for them.

Finally, the Jordan’s writing is just amazing. She brings the cultures and the world of Aritsar alive with her words and imagery. This felt like a kingdom I not only wanted to visit, but also spend serious time in. Each of the kingdoms of the Empire has their own culture and beliefs and I just wanted nothing more than to learn about each and every one of them. It’s truly amazing when an author can meld fantasy, culture, and amazing characters into one story and honestly, that’s exactly what Jordan did with Raybearer.

Not only is this story amazing, but it also tackles some amazing things. We get to see on page Ace rep, the threat of losing your culture to colonization, just how harmful colonization can be, the importance of friendship, parental abandonment and abuse/manipulation, misogyny, the bullshit that is the patriarchy, and what happens when men are scared of powerful women.

I just have a lot of feelings about this book okay. Deal with it.