Idk, maybe this is me categorically not clicking with either narrator for some reason. But both main characters came across as so obnoxious I just didn't want to get invested.

I kept picking it up, reading a page, and putting it back down. I think the writing style just isn't working for me. Maybe I'll try it again at some point later, but for now, I'd rather move on to other books.

I tried to persevere with this one, but when I asked myself why I wanted to continue, I couldn't really find an answer. The characters are fun enough, but over 100 pages in, I can't tell you what the book is really about. There are some murders going on, and some of the characters are vaguely interested in that, but how does it all tie together? It's like a bunch of different books loosely tied together, or maybe just a bunch of backstories/introductions that are going on and on and on. And if my impression from skimming forward to random points is correct, it looks like all the characters and storylines are going to come together only at around 70% (please note this is a 500-pages book). That's... kind of discouraging.

I did like what I've seen from the characters, in particular what I've seen of Vehan and Aurelian (I tend to like these prince and bodyguard dynamics, and they also both seem generally fun and compelling), and I'm generally very here for all-queer casts and faerie-focused urban fantasies. But the way it's structured just makes it really hard to focus on anything for me.

 Sadly, I'm just not feeling this one. It's been almost 1/4 of the book, and I still don't have the feel for the characters. Or the world. Or the plot. There are a lot of cool ideas here for sure. I loved the premise; it definitely tries to do the same flavor of cozy fantasy I enjoyed in Sarah Beth Durst's The Spellshop, the one where the coziness happens on the edge of darker, sadder events and there's a strong focus on healing. But I don't think it's succeeding. There's already been multiple moments when I wanted to dig deeper into the characters or the world around them, but all the interesting stuff is underexplored or mentioned once and ignored. 

I was pulled in by the very beginning of the book, but then as I progressed through it, it got harder and harder to read. I kept noticing small inconsistencies here and there, and I really didn’t like the tone the author took when talking about her mother’s mental illness. I understand that taking care of a schizophrenic relative is a hard toll on the family and that the perspective of the caretakers’ is important in its own way. But there were comments and descriptions that at least bordered on ableist, and it didn’t sit well with me.

So I took a break from reading and did what I probably should have done sooner: went online to see what other people were saying. Pretty much the first thing I found were the goodreads reviews from the author’s brother and his wife where they claim the book’s more fiction than truth and point out various parts that are embellished, misinterpreted, or outright invented. They also say that the rest of the family wasn’t consulted about the memoir, or asked for input or even consent.

All of that left me with a sour test in my mouth. I don’t think I want to continue reading.

Clearly time to execute my “if it doesn’t grab me at all by ~25%, it’s over for us“ rule, because it doesn’t grab me at all.

I’ve actually tried picking this book up before and balked at the prologue because it’s just so dark, but a friend who loves the series swore that what comes after it makes it worth it. Alas, tastes differ. The main story definitely had components that I usually like, such as religious trauma and trying to adjust to college living and weird “is it in my head or is it real?“ stuff. But I couldn’t really vibe with the execution. The best way I can describe my impression is that the things I feel should be handled subtly were over the top, and the things I’d like the narrative to linger on were glossed over

Also, I’m half-certain that the dark, dark prologue wasn’t necessary at all because seems like all it did was spoil the big reveal early on (yes,I’ve taken a glance at the last couple of chapters and the big reveal there is like… exactly what I thought it would be the moment the story transitioned from the prologue to the MC introduction). 

I totally didn't expect this DNF, I'll be honest. I mean, a gothic sapphic dark academia novel that is a story within a story within a story? It sounded so good! But whenever I sit down to get through another few pages, I just feel bored out of my skull. I appreciate how voicey the narrator is, but it just feels like the narrator is trying to hard and deliberately packing everything into as many smart, culture-savvy words as possible, to the point that the original thought gets lost. Also, it's been over 100 pages and nothing happened. I've been waiting for the plot to begin for so long I forget what the plot is supposed to be.

It's a pity, because I've heard great things about the book and was excited to read it, but. Sorry, I give up.

I'm just absolutely failing to get into the writing style. Something about it keeps losing me, maybe it's too dense for me right now? A pity, because the story looks promising! 

By this point in the book, I should already be invested in the story, but I honestly feel nothing for the characters apart from a general "I'm sorry you're in a tough situation like that." It's like they have circumstances instead of personalities. I guess this is just not a book for me!

I just can't get into it. The prose is unpleasantly convoluted, with too many run-on sentences, and it's been over 10 chapters of absolutely nothing happening.