Okay, I cried.

I learned so many neat facts about biology and evolution. Unfortunately, his long diatribe on all the reasons women are subservient to men was both unnecessary and sexist.

Short, sweet, beautiful like the book form of a nidra class.

I feel like I would have thought this was really fun if I'd read it as a kid, but the vampires were too creepy and the pirates were too stupid to keep me invested.

Unless you can handle an audiobook narrator who mispronounces words (she said corollary as core-OH-luh-ry) and reads dates as "twenty - oh - eight" instead of "two thousand and eight," definitely give this horrific audiobook a pass.

Unfortunately, even getting past the tragedy that is the narrator, the book itself has very little substance. Warnick tries so hard to make her life story feel relatable that I can't tell if she is actually the most annoying person on earth, or if she just tried so hard to make me believe she worked hard to like the town that SHE CHOSE TO MOVE TO OF HER OWN FREE WILL that she just appears to be the most annoying person on earth.

There are some interesting tidbits about how to love a place you live, and how to become more rooted, and I really liked the part about how different areas of the country are very different (though this is not news to anyone, at all, and Warnick needed to scale down a bit on her fake excitement).

The Liliana Hart story was insipid, plotless, and full of typos.

The Darynda Jones story was not up to her usual standard, but fun.

The Shea Berkley story took me a week to read because it was just that terrible.

The Dakota Cassidy story was so so touching and hilarious.

Claire Cavanaugh's story was a surprisingly exciting and romantic thriller with just the right amount of fantasy.

The Rachel Grant story was an exciting and sexy mystery. I just love stories set in Alaska and I have no idea why.

Trish McCallan's story was fucking awesome except for the fact that the story ends with

Spoiler

the dad just running free what the fuck

and the fact that she advertised the novel about the town was supposed to come out in 2015 and it still doesn't exist anywhere.

The Angi Morgan story was cute but forgettable.

The Robin Perini story was dumb from start to finish.

The Robyn Peterman story was so good I laughed and cried and my heart melted and I loved that it was the other half of Dakota's story.

Ann voss Peterson's story was legitimately terrifying, so much so that I couldn't enjoy any of the meant-to-be-romantic parts.

The Jenn Stark story was stupid and undeveloped.

I liked Stephen Fry's narration. It was abridged and it did feel a little choppy, but it was a nice way to re-read it for book club. It's a great story and so many of the lines attributed to Wilde came from this book that I wonder if he really did believe as Henry did, or if it was just a character. I would have liked more internals from Dorian and Henry and even Basil, but I do love the ending.

Outrageous and hilarious.