Self-involved teenager whines into her diary about her hopeless crush on a jerk, friends who she hates because they are as self-involved as her, a father who is actually the only funny thing about this book because he is such a stoner. Basically, everything that is wrong with teen fiction you can find in this book, with some surprising new twists like chicken pox turning into meningitis for no real reason other than filling pages, and other things that fail to advance the plot (mostly because the plot doesn't exist). No character development and a lack of actual humor make this book cringe-worthy in the extreme.

The classic tale of vampires, I was surprised by how much of the story was taken up by the characters praying, commending their lives to God, fearing for their souls, extolling the virtues and weakness of women, and how little time was actually given to Dracula himself. This was a surprisingly dry tale from a modern perspective, and most of the moral dilemmas that the characters faced (whole sections were given to conversations between the men about how much they could reveal to Mina without destroying her weak female mind) seem laughably absurd now. I don't like epistolary novels as a rule, but the fact that every character spoke and wrote the same way made it hard to remember whose section I was reading, and even harder to care whose section I was reading. I would recommend it to someone in the mood for classic horror in October, or for someone interested in where the myth sprang from in the modern consciousness.

This may not be the worst book I've ever read, but it's definitely top five.

Stoker and Holt decided that they wanted to write a sequel to Dracula in keeping with the spirit of the original. Unfortunately, the only things they kept from the original were the character names and the aggravating sexism. The things they changed included the entire plot, the behaviors of all of the characters, the time period in which the story took place, and the villain himself, not to mention their blatant disregard for small detail (England does not let out for school in the summers like the US does, making Mina's whining about the beginnings of her friendship with Lucy both annoying and ignorant) and basic psychology.

This book takes the characters from the first book and tries to tell their tale 25 years later by adding in Mina and Jonathan's idiotic son (honestly, I've met newborn kittens capable of more logic than this character), Jack the Ripper, Elizabeth Bathory, the Titanic, and a bunch of bumbling cops. They changed Mina and Jonathan's loving relationship, a major point of the original, into an abusive relationship entirely defined by the fact that she slept with and still loves Dracula, despite her clear hatred of him in the original. I would find this less distasteful if there weren't a thirty page summary at the end of the book where Stoker and Holt claim they wanted to write a sequel in keeping with the original. They couldn't have fallen farther from the mark. They turned every hero from Dracula into a villain, the villain into a hero, and introduced a new villain just because.

It was also impossible to handle the fact that Bram Stoker was a shitty character. He is a jerk or weak or both every time he appears, and his inclusion means that one of the original group of friends had to betray all of the others by telling the story, again destroying the fabric of the original tale. So which is it, shitty writers? Is this a sequel, or fucking fan service?

This book was an abomination of bad writing, unrealistic characters, and forced plot devices.

Quincie Morris, like her Draculan namesake, is a fierce and devoted Texan, and unlike her namesake, is a teenager trying to help her family restaurant survive, get through senior year, and kiss her best friend. And, oh yeah -- her best friend is a werewolf, and vampires are real too (think Sookie Stackhouse lite). The best part of this story is the mystery: while trying to get through her day to day life and get the restaurant back up and running after its remodel and temporary closure, Quincie is struggling to keep everything running smoothly while trying to find out who killed Vaggio, family friend and head chef. It's a fun read, but not very memorable.

Meg and Belch are killed in an explosion after they attempt to rob an old man, and while Belch goes to hell, Meg finds herself with a perfectly balanced record of good and bad deeds. Hijinks abound as she is sent back to earth to make amends and help the old man complete his wish list of regrets before he, too, passes on. It's a tale full of action and teen sass, and not much else. I was disappointed by how flat it was, considering Colfer crafted the entire world of Artemis Fowl -- I was expecting something of that caliber. Overall, not bad but entirely forgettable.

Tom has been kidnapped by a family of werewolves under the guise of being healed, a la Stephen King's Misery, but he is an actuality being turned into a werewolf as a mate for their eldest daughter. It starts off as a very tense adventure, but rapidly becomes eye-rollingly over the top as they get captured again and again and more drama is folded into the mix. I would have liked it better if I was eleven.

While I'm not the hugest fan of the Wizard of Oz, I loved Paige's take on it. When Amy finds herself in Oz as the other girl from Kansas, she learns that Dorothy is now running Oz -- and poorly, at that. But when everyone in Oz wants Dorothy dead, who can Amy trust? The wingless monkeys, the wicked witches, the mysterious gardener, the wizard himself? Or, more likely, none of the above? This is an action-filled story with plenty of mystery, magic, and thrills.

A fun middle grade novel about a boy who accidentally awakens a sleeping magician, and finds himself at the center of an endless battle between Good and Evil. It's a fun, quick read, perfect for fans of King Arthur, Merlin, ley lines, and spunky pre teens.

I think I am just not cut out for series, as I loved this at first and rapidly got bored (the same thing happened to me with Bloody Jack and Stephanie Plum). There's nothing wrong with the book -- the characters are just as edgy and rambunctious and thrilling as the first book, and the villains are just as dangerous. I just couldn't help from zoning out constantly while listening to the audiobook.