UGLY CRYING

really really enjoyed

i can't express how pleasantly surprised by this i was seriously so good 100% not what i expected in the best way possible and that TWIST wow i didn't see it coming but it makes so much sense looking back

3.5/5:
- pretty overtly white liberal so if you think that's annoying don't read this lol
- tbh i really enjoyed until 2 things within the last 5 pgs happened and i had to lower my rating bc huh
- a lot of the dialogue for the adults felt super off
- also took place over maybe 2 weeks and those kinds of romances always feel really rushed
- again i overall enjoyed & one of the best books with trans rep ive read in a long time
- also first book with a not incredibly selfish trans main character ive read in a long time so that was a relief

THIS WAS SO FUN IM SO SAD ITS OVER

really good but WOW so dark please read TWs off the top of my head trigger warnings for suicide, death of parents, self harm, pedophilic incest (uncle to niece), and racism

okay i know a lot of people didnt like this but it completely worked for me i thought it was told in a really interesting way & usually messages/emails in books don't keep me engaged but i was completely enthralled i thought the pacing was somewhat realistic and i could tell who was talking without reading their email handles which usually bugs me. could've been rated higher if the ending gave any closure bc i really wanted to know how far this whole thing went and the little spatterings letting us know this turned into a police investigation made me want more from the ending

usually i love these kind of shapeless grief-driven books but this was just okay. i was expecting more based on the synopsis and the characters felt kinda one-dimensional which is why this didn't work. the last chapter and epilogue did make me cry though because of how "and so i be kind to everything i see and in everything i see i see him" it was

i think i would've liked this more if i read it physically rather than through audiobook bc i was just super unmotivated to pick it back up and im glad its over but objectively i think it was good and if there's a sequel i would def pick it up