This book, guys. I didn't intend to stay up till 1 AM on a school night, but that's exactly what happened. This was so fun and lighthearted but also really deep and heavy at the same time? Somehow? I don't know how Pancholy did it, but he certainly pulled off something remarkable. I was smiling pretty much the entire time I read this, except for those moments where I had my hand over my mouth as my heart cracked into pieces. There were a good many of those moments. (I'm looking at you, Brent. And the bank. That freaking bank.) But I was also doubled over laughing out loud multiple times. (The scene in the basement where they're getting Rahul's headshots and Arun walks in on them made me cry with laughter. Just. Siblings.) And the diversity of this book was so beautiful and fun to read. I loved reading about Indian American culture, and how the two have meshed together to make something beautiful and, at least for me, not commonly seen in my area. I loved the idea of a Bazaar and wish my community held something like this. There were so many important topics explored in this book, and somehow Pancholy delved into it with laughter and joy. I'm still in awe. Pancholy is releasing a new book next year, and I'm definitely reading it and everything else he publishes because I need more stories like this in my life.

Wow, that was good. Really, really good. Probably my favorite read of the year! Lara and Caroline were such dear characters, and their voices were so captivating. I found Lara especially relatable. While she was frustrating in the way she went about things, her exhaustion with secrets and dishonesty was really relatable. I loved being inside the minds of these lovely autistic girls and seeing the way their minds work. My one compliant is how things left with Micah. ***Mild spoiler ahead*** I can't imagine that he wouldn't want to be Caroline's friend anymore, but Kapit left it so ambiguous that I don't really have any idea. On the one hand, I love that for kids who /do/ have a disagreement with a friend that doesn't result in them still being friends. But on the other, I felt that it went against his character to just /not/ forgive her. And it would have been really easy to wrap it up more clearly. ***end mild spoiler***

Overall, this book was a lovely story about, among other things, when the desire for honesty becomes just plain nosiness, and about the perseverance of familial love and forgiveness. I highly recommend it to any and all ages! It was very engagingly written and easy to read, and great autism and Jewish representation.

Many thanks to Netgalley for the free review copy!

4.5

(Spoilers at the end)

It would be 5 stars if we got like 50 more pages of Yads and Julian but alas. I’ll just have to reread obsessively. I also saw all of the plot twists coming, which was totally fine, but one of them did feel a little cliche, so much so that when I realized it was probably how things were going to go I squealed out loud to the empty room that it could be true (it was). But I was very happy about other plot twists *coughs meaningfully* and it was still a riveting and enjoyable read regardless.

This book was stunning and vibrant and beautiful and AHXJW. I have so many feelings, gosh. Yads and Julian are so different but so /good/ and I just love them both so so much. This was my first time reading a book where the MC is trans, and Yads’ experience was so important and special. It was an honor to follow him on his journey to acceptance, both from his community and from himself.

Don’t even get me started on Julian! That boy! I was laughing out loud so often through this book. And the ending! AGGH. My heart was just being ripped apart. I love how fiercely protective he is of his friends, his unapologetic loudness, his boldness in saying what’s on his mind and taking 0 crap from anyone. He and Yads were perfect for each other.

All the minor characters were really great, too, especially Maritza. She was so spunky and funny and a great support to Yadriel. She felt like her own whole person too, and not just there to support, which was important.

The themes of this book were all really powerful and important too. The entire cast is Latinx and there’s talk of class, deportation, gangs, language barriers, and more. Not to mention all the queer rep! Reading from a trans perspective was really insightful, and if you don’t know a trans person, I highly recommend at least reading literature that celebrates their stories. It helped me understand and think about issues and challenges they might face in completely new ways.

I now want to talk about the ending, so if you haven’t read this yet, stop here!

****spoillllerrrrrs****

I actually really loved the ending. It had occurred to me earlier in the book that he might not actually be dead yet, and that there was a chance he could be saved in the end. Especially given the marginalized voices running this book, I was really hoping for a happy ending, and was so glad the book DIDNT disappoint. It didn’t feel like a cop out or anything, and I didn’t feel emotionally cheated by a fake death because Yadriel hadn’t really let himself accept Julian’s death yet. So all around, it was a marvelous ending and everyone needs this story.

“Having the chance to say goodbye is an incredible opportunity, but isn’t that time better spent actually living?”

Reading this book was like having someone reach into my chest very slowly, take hold of my heart, and (equally agonizingly slowly) tear it out of my body. But that someone is not a laughing jerk. That someone is just death. Cause dying really sucks. And this book doesn’t try to cheat that. Death really, really sucks but it is inevitable for every creature on this earth that lives.

There were so many moments in this book, so many messages, and I may come back and try to write a more thorough review to make sense of it all or talk about deeper meanings and insights in this work, but the messages are really quite clear, and right there for you to read and think about.

Life doesn’t have to be something you can show off, or something Pinterest worthy, or something that solves world hunger or whatever. Life can be just a day that you make the most of, and that’s what this book did.

The message is simple, really, and one everyone needs, before their time runs out, too.

Live. Just live.

Other gems of the book:
* pure gold characters that think deeply
* fluffy, genuine, heartwarming gay romance
* flashes to other characters that are all connected to the MCs in some way
* latinx rep!
* anxiety rep (Mateo, you have my whole heart)

That awkward moment when it takes you over a year to finish a book. *sighs at self*

So, I've been ravenously devouring any and all YA and MG verse novels I can get my hands on. Brown Girl Dreaming was not like other verse novels, however. It read much more like a poetry collection about Woodson's childhood rather than a verse novel. I think if I'd thought of it like that sooner, I wouldn't have had such a hard time getting through it. But as soon as I made that mental shift, I really enjoyed the book! This book was made up of stunning poetry, and I can definitely see why Woodson wrote her memoir in this format. She really utilized her medium with this book in a way that I haven't seen from many other verse novels. I was taking notes. (Literally. I have a note document on my phone for this.)

If you want some beautifully refreshing poetry and a story about a young black girl growing up in the south and in the city, and the difference between the two, about a small family that is wholly real and relatable, stinging poetry about just what childhood indoctrination into extremist religions can do to some kids, and just a collection of tiny stories about what it's like to grow up, this book is for you.

Some gems:

“/You’ll face this in your life someday/,
my mother will tell us
over and over again.
/A moment when you walk into a room and

no one there is like you/.”
(pg 14)

“But I want the world where my daddy is
and don’t know why
anybody’s God would make me
have to choose.”
(pg 123)

“Already, there are so many things I don’t understand, why
someone would have to die
or even fight for what they believe in.”
(pg 303)

“Some days, she brings out cookies
tells us stories of the old neighborhood when everyone
was Herman or Irish and even some Italians
down by Wilson Avenue.
/All kinds of people/, she says. And the cookies
are too good got me to say,

/Except us/.”
(pg 305)

“I believe in one day and someday and this
perfect moment called Now.”
(pg 318)

I'm torn between 3 and 4 stars on this one, but in the end settled on 3. It was cute and fun, but there were a substantial amount of plot holes that I just couldn't suspend my disbelief for. (Like, why do these two twelve-year-olds run off to a haunted graveyard in the middle of the night with no real defenses or plan /twice/? Even after the first time went so poorly?) I know some kids are reckless, but Lucely was such a careful character. A lot of the actions she took just felt like they were being done for the sake of the plot.

It was really cute though. The narrator's accent was amazing, and I loved the afro-Latinx culture in this! Add in lots of platonic affection, sassy banter, and adorable friendships, and you'll have fun.