4.5

(Spoilers at the end)

It would be 5 stars if we got like 50 more pages of Yads and Julian but alas. I’ll just have to reread obsessively. I also saw all of the plot twists coming, which was totally fine, but one of them did feel a little cliche, so much so that when I realized it was probably how things were going to go I squealed out loud to the empty room that it could be true (it was). But I was very happy about other plot twists *coughs meaningfully* and it was still a riveting and enjoyable read regardless.

This book was stunning and vibrant and beautiful and AHXJW. I have so many feelings, gosh. Yads and Julian are so different but so /good/ and I just love them both so so much. This was my first time reading a book where the MC is trans, and Yads’ experience was so important and special. It was an honor to follow him on his journey to acceptance, both from his community and from himself.

Don’t even get me started on Julian! That boy! I was laughing out loud so often through this book. And the ending! AGGH. My heart was just being ripped apart. I love how fiercely protective he is of his friends, his unapologetic loudness, his boldness in saying what’s on his mind and taking 0 crap from anyone. He and Yads were perfect for each other.

All the minor characters were really great, too, especially Maritza. She was so spunky and funny and a great support to Yadriel. She felt like her own whole person too, and not just there to support, which was important.

The themes of this book were all really powerful and important too. The entire cast is Latinx and there’s talk of class, deportation, gangs, language barriers, and more. Not to mention all the queer rep! Reading from a trans perspective was really insightful, and if you don’t know a trans person, I highly recommend at least reading literature that celebrates their stories. It helped me understand and think about issues and challenges they might face in completely new ways.

I now want to talk about the ending, so if you haven’t read this yet, stop here!

****spoillllerrrrrs****

I actually really loved the ending. It had occurred to me earlier in the book that he might not actually be dead yet, and that there was a chance he could be saved in the end. Especially given the marginalized voices running this book, I was really hoping for a happy ending, and was so glad the book DIDNT disappoint. It didn’t feel like a cop out or anything, and I didn’t feel emotionally cheated by a fake death because Yadriel hadn’t really let himself accept Julian’s death yet. So all around, it was a marvelous ending and everyone needs this story.