The Laughing Listener
October 2018
Format: Hardback

Overall Rating: 5 Stars

This book was AH-MAZING guys! After finishing The Remnant Chronicles at the end of September, I was eager to start this book and keep the good times going. This universe is the best and I’m so happy we’re getting another story set in this world. I wasn’t entirely sure what to expect going into it, but this was the PERFECT combination of old and new and I looooooved it!!

First of all, the characters are A+++++



There are a few old characters to spark the interest of returning fans

(guys, I SQUEALED when my smol cinnamon roll Eben showed up)

and the other new characters are excellent! Kazi, Wren, and Synove are basically the Powerpuff Girls and I was LIVING for it. They’re so badass in their own unique ways and the bond they share was excellent to read about. I also really loved Jase and his family! Even though they’re pretty much the mafia, all of them are really layered and like Shrek, I enjoyed peeling those layers back and getting to know them better.



Am I completely, head-over-heels in love with Jase Ballenger now?? I’ll let you figure that out on your own when you read it… *Winks conspicuously*

And the world building was SPECTACULAR!!! Once again, Mary hit it out of the park. Even though this takes place in the Remnant Chronicles universe, it’s in a new town, so we get the best of the old while discovering everything new. I loved it! The histories and religions are so fascinating to me and now I’m having a lot of fun piecing it all together with the last books.

FINAL WORD

I literally have nothing bad to say. It was SO GOOD!!!! EVERYONE SHOULD READ THIS!!!!

#1 ↦ [b:Dance of Thieves|35796008|Dance of Thieves (Dance of Thieves, #1)|Mary E. Pearson|https://images.gr-assets.com/books/1505930101s/35796008.jpg|55233885] ↦ ✦✦✦✦✦
#2 ↦ [b:Vow of Thieves|34196663|Vow of Thieves (Dance of Thieves, #2)|Mary E. Pearson|https://s.gr-assets.com/assets/nophoto/book/50x75-a91bf249278a81aabab721ef782c4a74.png|55233949] ↦ ???

I know in the description this novel is compared to Beauty and the Beast, but that doesn't feel entirely true to me. The Beauty and the Beast vibes are more minor to the story than you'd think. It's actually more Beauty and the Beast meets Alice in Wonderland??? And honestly, you're either gonna love this book or you're gonna hate it. It's just soooooo atmospheric.

To help, here are some cold hard facts:
1. The writing is beautiful (I thought)
2. There's a love triangle that's unlike any love triangle I've ever read
3. Ignifex kind of reminded me of Loki and I'm here for it
4. The mansion they live in has rooms that move around and it's all very Harry Potter with the moving staircases
5. You will never ever guess the ending and if you say you did, you're a liar
6. At times it may feel like you're on drugs and I mean that in the best possible way

The Laughing Listener
July 2019
Format: Paperback
Overall Rating: 3 Reluctant Stars

Soooo ummmm… *Looks around baffled* Yeah. Wow. What a friggin’ weird reading experience this book was. I don’t even… I’m not even sure how to process all of whatever the hell that was. Honestly, I’m just really proud of myself for finishing because I’ve been reading this on and off for six flipping months. It feels like I just read the ‘roided up version of [b:Twilight|41865|Twilight (Twilight, #1)|Stephenie Meyer|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1361039443l/41865._SY75_.jpg|3212258], but somehow I didn’t completely hate it??? I don’t even know, let’s just dive in.

Good luck wading through the swampy confusion that is this review.



THE UGLY

Okay, backstory. After hearing from a couple people that this book is basically the adult version of Twilight (which is TOTALLY true, btw, but more on that in a second) I had absolutely no interest in reading this series at all. I was even planning on ignoring the TV show until a friend lured me with the promise of Matthew Goode. Don’t judge me okay?? LOOK AT HIS FACE.



I ended up liking the show a lot more than I was expecting. It definitely has its cheeseball moments, but by the end of season one I was dying to know what happens. Because who the heck wants to wait patiently for season two to come out? Not me clearly.

First and foremost, this book is Twilight. It is. It’s Twilight on steroids. Matthew is a slightly less emo version of I’m-going-to-control-everything-you-do Edward and Diana is Bella with a doctorate. The way Matthew follows her around in the beginning, the super fast way they fall in love out of nowhere, the way Matthew tries to push her away for her own safety (cue eye roll)—it all reeks of the glittery vamps and I had a hard time keeping a straight face reading it sometimes. Hell, even that part towards the end when everyone finds out

the supposedly infertile vampire could possibly father children??? HELLO TWILIGHT. I swear to god, if I eventually have to watch a demon child rip it’s way out of Diana, I’m gonna light these books on fire.

And it’s all so… wordy. Something about the writing made this a super dense read and I could only handle it in short bursts.

By the way, in case anyone was wondering, apparently the only thing you need to do to get married is grab each other’s asses and makeout for five minutes. Who knew??

Now that I’ve finished the book, I definitely feel like the show is better and I think that’s because of the background characters. The TV series does a good job of splitting its time between everyone, even people that play a more minor role. By the time they cross paths with Diana, we understand who they are and their motivations. In the book, however, everything is told mostly from Diana’s perspective and characters just pop randomly in and out of the story cold turkey. It’s so weird! If I hadn’t already watched the show I would feel super thrown off and confused.

And can someone please tell my why Matthew and Diana are good at EVERY athletic activity?! Jeez. Matthew is a 1500 year-old knight, so that makes sense. But Diana? I get she has to “keep moving” to focus her powers, but come on. In the beginning of the book she sits around researching in between running, yoga, rowing, and drinking tea. What life is this?? It that how everyone at Oxford spends their time??? I don’t understand.

THE GOOD

*SIGHS* Despite all of this, I still found myself liking parts of it. I actually really enjoyed the way Harkness framed this universe and the creatures in it. The witches and vampires are a new spin on the classic versions, which I really appreciated because I’m very #ProClassic when it comes to this kind of stuff. I liked that different witches had different powers and levels of power depending on their lineage. It made meeting new witches a lot more fun and engaging. I’m still don’t quite understand what a daemon is. I mean, what’s the difference between a creative human and a daemon? Or are all creative humans daemons? I don’t know, but I still enjoyed such a new take on an old idea. And all these creatures have their own government system and rich history and Harkness did a great job creating it.

I also really liked the setting. Honestly, I’m a complete sucker for stories set in Europe because I’ve never been, so I was totally all over this. Watching them traipse around Oxford and then France was amazing. *Cue wistful sigh*



And then there’s Matthew. I’m torn about him as a character because he can be a controlling douchebag (I know, SO SHOCKING for vampire character). But I will say that Harkness did a great job creating him. He is literally 1500 F*CKING YEARS OLD. I can’t even wrap my head around that number, but I can tell Harkness did her research and she gave Matthew a sprawling history that you can really feel in his actions. Edward Cullen was apparently over 100 years old in Twilight, but I never believed it. He was always just a whiny 17 year-old bitch. Matthew feels a lot more mature and I liked learning more about him as the story went on.

FINAL WORD

It’s over. The longest review in the history of reviews has finally ended. If you’re here wondering if you should read this, good luck figuring that out. I vote you just watch the show and call it a day.

#1 ↦ A Discovery of Witches ↦ ✦✦✦✧✧
#2 ↦ [b:Shadow of Night|11559200|Shadow of Night (All Souls Trilogy, #2)|Deborah Harkness|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1320604137l/11559200._SY75_.jpg|16499524] ↦ ????
#3 ↦ [b:The Book of Life|16054217|The Book of Life (All Souls Trilogy, #3)|Deborah Harkness|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1389281784l/16054217._SY75_.jpg|21839080] ↦ ????

The Laughing Listener
July 2019
Format: eBook

I just have one thing to say. THIS BOOK IS F*CKING ADORABLE.

That is all.