I honestly don't quite understand the author's insistence that Jack isn't mentally ill, or that he's acting from a sane mind despite what he sees, because he still lets August treat it all as real, still believes fully enough to let August almost die twice, still brings them into the freezing river in winter. So I'm going to stay confused about that. But I love these two, I love seeing this perspective, and I'm devastated and sad.

Honestly I think this book was too complex for me to get with just one audiobook listen. I really loved the slowburn friendship and romance between the two mains, but I kind of wish it was just them and that we didn't get all the other POVs. I'm expecting them to pay off more in the later books, though, and I'm definitely intrigued to find out what happens. I remember not knowing what was going on until at least 40% into the book so I will have to reread this before the next book comes out, and may add to this review then. In general, loved the neo-pronouns (with a third gender belonging to one specific culture) but a little disappointed that people still seem to be able to tell on sight who is a man and who is a woman etc.

I have no idea what happened, and I loved it

Honestly I learned something about myself from reading this book. I don’t always have that happen. I really, really liked it- it was cheesy at times, clear it was YA at times, and that’s all part of what it is and who it’s for and how MEANINGFUL this book existing is. The romance(s) were interesting and cute and devastating and detailed and the college-focused part was different than I thought it would be, in a good way.

Magical. It really is the book I needed to read growing up. Reading it is like medicine, like swallowing beauty whole. This book holds all the secrets of the universe, and they're breathtaking.