Hot, steamy and fast. Instalove of course. I could do without the “girl-cum” and “honey” terms. Also, Morgan’s hair color changed from brunette to blonde to auburn. But yeah if you’re looking for a quick fix this is for you. But it reads like a Wattpad story.

I want to preface that this book lacked trigger warnings. Like you can assume some fatphobia (internalized and external) in books with plus sized main characters, but this definitely should’ve had some kind of warning. 

I have to say I was EXTREMELY disappointed with this book. It’s marketed as this plus-sized, body positive Bachelorette-esque romcom and that is not what we got AT ALL. Starting off I saw a lot of people recommending One to Watch if you liked If the Shoe Fits by Julie Murphy. I also saw a lot of people recommending this book over If the Shoe Fits. And I definitely love Murphy’s plus-sized, body positive Bachelor-esque romcom over One to Watch. 

I’m not going to do an in-depth comparison of the two books but I will say if you ACTUALLY want a plus-sized women who is confident in her body and has a heartfelt romance with chemistry, then definitely read If the Shoe Fits.

I felt like my own insecurities as a plus-sized woman were exploited in this book. I was anxious and irritated and upset throughout the whole book. So if that’s the vibe you’re looking for, then I guess by all means, read this book. But if you’re a plus sized woman and you struggle with self-esteem and body image issues or you’re currently struggling with the idea you’re lovable because of your size, don’t read this. Like seriously it would be an act of self-care to avoid this book. 

So our “heroine” is plus-sized fashion blogger, Bea Schumacher. Bea’s described as being on the taller side of the average for women, apple shaped, and a size 16. Which is the average size of American women, so she’s really mid-sized. She’s also white and cishet. Bea’s currently in the throes of heartbreak over a guy she’s “been in love with” for 10 years, Ray, her “best friend”. Now Ray and Bea used to work together, and he’s never expressed interest in her except on drunken night when he kisses her before he moves to the other side of the country with his fiancé. Then he visits Bea and they sleep together (EVEN THOUGH HE’S ENGAGED) and then he ghosts her for 9 months. 

Now she and her friend, Marin, love the Bachelorette-esque show…um….hold on let me look what it’s called…oh, the show’s called Main Squeeze. And yes, I JUST finished this book after finishing it in a day, and I forgot the name of the show the main character is on during the whole book. That should say something. Anyway, Bea and Marín love this show despite its complete lack of diversity (all white cishet and conventionally attractive people on it). Bea tears into the show for this and is eventually asked to me their next “Main Sqeeze” (aka their Bachelorette). She demands that the contestants be diverse in race and body size. And in the end there’s one plus sized guy (who’s personality was creepy…so way to go with presenting plus size people as desirable people. I mean he served a purpose on how even plus side dudes are dicks to big women) and 24 other men from athletically lean to gym rat buff (is it really so hard to have a bear of a man? You know the strong ones that are a little soft?). And of course there’s some black and Asian contestants thrown in there. 

Throughout the book Bea deals heavily with fatphobia. One contestant fetishizes her, one doesn’t even meet her as he takes one look at here at the meet and greet and he just leaves the show, three of them want to “fix her”, one pretends to be interested until he’s booted off and really rips into Bea and her body, and a bunch of them outwardly mock her (call her a “cow” and look at her with disgust). There were literally 4 men on that show that weren’t revolted by her or fetishizing her. And one was asexual and aromantic and the another cheated on her! 

The ENTIRE time she doesn’t think any of these men like her and they’re only there to get on the spin-off shows and/or build up clout. And honestly, even I was questioning their genuineness. She was advertised as being super confident and comfortable in her body, but she absolutely was not! She constantly accused these men of lying when they told her they wanted her. It just stressed me out and I genuinely could not see any chemistry between her or any of the guys. I liked Sam but he was immature. And I thought Asher was uptight and intense after knowing Bea for five seconds. I like some of the contestants and side characters individually, but couldn’t see Bea with any of them especially given her severe insecurities.

The three final contestants are Luc, Sam, and Asher. Luc is a Frenchman. Sam is black. And Asher is Jewish and Chinese. But shit, you wouldn’t remember that Sam or Asher were POC after they’re first mention. All the talk about how problematic the show is and how it’s had a problem with racism and homophobia in the past, yet the author couldn’t write two characters of color with more substance? Or avoid stereotypes with 2 of the queer contestants? 

Oh that’s right! It turned out that Luc is bisexual and one of the other contestants is asexual, then Asher’s kid in gender non confirming. But all of these things are just mentioned in passing and just seemed thrown in there just for the sake of it being there. Not to mention that Luc’s bisexuality is played off as contributing to his promiscuity and unfaithfulness. Then there’s Marin who I JUST remembered is a lesbian. She’s just a side character that has like 3 scenes in the whole book. And her sexuality isn’t really mentioned after her introduction. Then at the VERY END she gives a flirty smile to Bea’s stylist???

I did think it was beautiful that Bea was able to realize her worth and accept she was worthy of love and to choose herself. But damn the journey was frustrating as hell. It honestly should’ve ended with her doing her own thing and MAYBE the epilogue could’ve been like “3 years later” and it insinuate that she was going to start something with the guy she ends up with. 

After the scenes with Bea’s mom, I really can’t tell if Bea actually wants a family and husband or if she only wants it because her mom pushes that on her and she sees how happy her brothers have made their parents with their wives and kids. 

Stayman-London really leaned into the French stereotypes with Luc. Like he’s overly flirtatious, sleeps with anyone with a pulse, and is unable to be monogamous. Just completely ridiculous. 

I don’t know how I was supposed to root for Bea after she slept with Ray when he was engaged. Like I get having self esteem issues and allowing someone treat you like shit because you should “be so lucky” someone’s paying attention to you and willing to sleep with you (trust me I’ve BEEN there, but I was also 16-19 years old at the time, Bea’s 30). But there’s really no excuse for this. Like Bea was hoping that something would happen when he visited. And I’ve known guys like Ray, the ones that treat women with low self-esteem like trash then leave them and then only “want” them when the women are happy and in a relationship. It’s because they KNOW how the woman feels about them and the don’t want to be with them, but they want to make sure they’ve got that side piece on lock. I was SCREAMING at Bea for being an idiot about this man. Like it was so infuriating. 

Also, Bea is mid-sized, which is a new term and does fall under plus-sized, and it’s not to say she didn’t face bullying, but to not have friends or romantic relationships because of her size? Ridiculous. Plus, there’s a scene that lists Bea’s grocery delivery and 90% of her food was junk food that she bought in BULK. Just screams stereotypical big girl. I’m not saying she wasn’t allowed to eat like a human, but my god! How can you preach in your book that we all come in different sizes despite diet and exercise regiments then basically blame Bea’s size on her diet and the fact she doesn’t exercise PERIOD? 

Also, not a fan of the chapterlessness (??) of this book. I rely on chapters to get me to stop reading. Otherwise, I’ll just keep going or stop in the middle of scenes. 

That being said, I did like the mixed media format. I’ve seen it before, but I REALLY liked how it was executed in this book. 

And I’ll admit, I was here for some of the drama, but so much of that drama (like 90%) was a direct knife into Bea’s back and that pissed me off. Like I get that’s was these realities shows are like (which is one of the many reasons I hate reality TV), but it was just so unnecessary for a a book advertised as a romantic comedy. To be clear, I hate these kinds of shows in real life, but have found I like them in romcom novels, just not this one. 

I also think the fatphobia was portrayed accurately. Stayman-London really nailed the passive forms and violent forms of fatphobia. 

It gets points for being grammatically correct, it’s mixed media format, it’s accuracy on its portrayal of the various forms of fatphobia, and I guess for eliciting a strong emotional response from me. But I could’ve gone without reading this book. 

“This is a love story. You’ve been warned.”

Fantastic, brilliant, beautiful, effortless YA contemporary romance that is also a drama and somewhat of a coming-of-age.

I’m not even going to go into depth about what the book was about. You just need to know that two very beautiful souls serendipitously meet and they fall in love while going through the hardest things a person can go through. 

This book was beautiful from start to finish. It is unapologetically Muslim and I friggin loved every second of it! I love Zayneb’s passion and Adam’s ability to see the beauty in the world. At first I didn’t see the chemistry between them and aside from them both keeping this journal based off an ancient manuscript, I didn’t think they had much in common since they’re SO different. But the book just unfolds in this amazing way, where you fall in love with Zayneb and Adam as individuals then watch them come together and fall in love with them as a couple. 

Zayneb is dealing with Islamophobia throughout the book (at school, on a plane, at the pool, etc) and the injustices in the world make her righteously angry. And she tries to “tone down” her anger, but she learns she doesn’t have to hold back, she just learns how to be smarter than the bigots. Then there’s Adam and he is this peaceful soul that I just adored and is more behind-the-scenes in his support. He’s such a family guy and I loved his softer way of caring. They both deal with loss and grief in their own ways that make you want to tear your heart out. 

I think this book does a fantastic job depicting a traditional Muslim relationship, grief, anger, prejudice, and dealing with a chronic medical diagnosis. I can’t speak for its accuracy but it seems authentic and raw. I loved that these two opposites started meeting in the middle on their own in a natural way (they weren’t forcing themselves to change to fit with the other). The book had me grinning like a fool, crying like a baby, and it even had me laughing a few times. Just a gorgeous, well written story. 

This book had me by the heartstrings after the first couple chapters. And instalove is my least favorite trope, it’s super cringe to me, but I LOVED this book. It had me laughing OUT LOUD and I even teared up a few times. A Brush with Love is this fluff filled, instalove but also kind of friends to lovers romcom that literally made my heart dance. It even have a decent spicy scene (not quite smut) definitely like a 🌶🌶/5. 

TW: This book also contained sexism, grief, deaths of a parent, ableism, and mental illness. 

Okay, this book follows Harper Horowitz and Dan Craig’s who are 26-year-old dental students. Harper’s in her final year and Dan’s in his first year. The timeline’s a bit weird but I think it starts in November then goes through January before the last few chapters each take place in March, April, and May (like one chapter per month). I only say that because that kind of makes this an Autumn/wintery romance and the perfect cuddle-by-the-fire book. It also takes place in Philadelphia. Which only matters because it’s a contemporary romance not taking place in NYC or LA for once, but also near where I grew up. 

It’s the first chapter, and Harper enters the scene. She’s a serious student that’s passionate about oral surgery and she’s anxious about matching with a program after she graduates. Then suddenly, BAM, she falls down a flight of stairs in the middle of the dentistry school and crashes into our unsuspecting love interest, Dan. They’re fine but Dan’s teeth impression mold is not fine. Immediately the two are attracted to one another. I mean, they’re both ogling one another when they nearly died from a tumble down the stares. The physical attraction was intense. Sexual tension could be cut with a knife. #cantrelate. Harper offers to help Dan make another model as she is a dental rockstar. Thus beginning their relationship. 

Despite obviously liking one another (like a lot), Harper insists they can’t act on it and should just remain friends because she’s leaving in 5 months and she doesn’t think they can just be sex. Dan reluctantly agrees. And for the next few weeks they build a very flirty friendship. 

Harper has this friend group Thu (a fellow dental student), Indira (a med student at the school), and Lizzie (a barista and Indira’s roommate). Now her friend group is hilarious, but also pushy, meddling, and teases Harper relentlessly. They never seem to notice that she has severe anxiety, but Dan can at least see the signs after only knowing her for a few weeks? Alex Huang is Dan’s friend and roommate, and he’s…there. And Alex and Thu start a thing. 

There were several scenes where Harper is really struggling with her anxiety. She has a lot of internalized abelism and tries very hard to be “normal”. She’s always been anxious and had panic attacks, but it got worse after her mom died when she was 12. Her aunt and uncle raised her and took her to psychiatrists and she had a terrible experience. So now she strives to be perfect and doesn’t believe she needs therapy. She eventually has a panic attack at a party, and just as she and Dan are about to leave, she gets harassed by a sexist fellow student. But after she puts him in his place, Dan puts the fear of god into this guy. And let me tell you, that maybe a red flag, but it was soooooo hot. 

Dan has had a few eye openers in the book about what it’s like to be a women in STEM and how patients, colleagues, and advisors will belittle her or ask how she’ll have a family AND be a surgical resident. Dan on the other hand, isn’t even in dental school because he wants it and he’s only able to attend the school, because he’s a legacy. Dan’s dad is a dental legend who was a shit father to Dan because Dan didn’t want to be a dentist. He went for finance in undergrad and had a successful, blooming career before his dad dies. After his death, his mother guilts him into leaving NYC and his job, return to school, and help her keep his father’s practice going. 

Eventually the heat turns up in their friendship and they cross that line. It’s great for a while until the pressures of her final year catch up to Harper and she ends up blaming Dan for distracting her. 

Then a bunch more happens. There’s arguing, a break up, healing, and reuniting. Yaaaay. All very heartfelt and cute and sad. 


When I tell you this book had me smiling like an idiot I am telling you I was giggling and grinning throughout the whole thing. It’s so very cheesy and funny. I think the mental illness representation was pretty spot on, though I hated that Harper lashed out on her friends and Dan several times and they just instantly forgave her. Having a mental illness doesn’t give you a license to be a shitty friend, and I feel like the forgiveness shouldn’t have been automatic. I think the struggle to admitting you need help and actually getting it was depicted well. I was also happy that Dan recognized he needed help dealing with his guilt and grief. 

The Jewish and Arab representation are very minimal. It’s basically just them saying they’re Jewish and Arab without actually diving into what that means for their identities. I guess Dan gets a pass since his dad forces his mom to assimilate to Western culture. But Harper claims that being Jewish is this big part of her identity, yet it’s only mentioned in the very beginning, then they go to a Jewish deli, and then she does Sabbath once. After these first few chapters it’s never brought up again. I mean the bulk of the book takes place between November and January but there’s no mention of Hanukkah? It doesn’t need to be a Hanukkah themed book, it’s just odd it’s never brought up.   

I also have a hard time believing a 26 year old would drop their life and career and be guilt tripped into going to dentistry school (a subject they vehemently hate) to then take over his late father’s practice (which he also hates). I could see his guilt forcing him to somehow use his finance degree to help with the business aspect of the private practice, but to go back to graduate school and switch careers? Nah. Maybe if he was younger or already in a different graduate program. Because he wouldn’t have an established career and fresh graduates and grad students have lower social and emotional development since they’ve been in school for 13+ years straight, i think it would’ve been easier to guilt them. I actually would’ve liked it better if Dan was a couple years younger than Harper. They didn’t need to be the same age. It’s just weird how Harper’s friend group were all the same age and at the same point in their education. I think Alex was the only one that wasn’t 25-27. He’s probably 21/22. 

I don’t care what anyone says, I love a man in a book who falls in love first and does the chasing. Like full on simps after this woman. And it’s nice to see a guy be as consumed by a crush as women are. I also love that Harper had the technical and academic advantage over Dan. And Dan didn’t mind it, and he actually wanted to learn from her. And Harper didn’t tease him about it. She was patient and tried to teach him. Dan might have been conventionally hot with his brown hair, tanned ski, muscles, and green eyes, but he was such a softie. So in touch with his feelings. 

After all that, I think it did well balancing comedy, romance, and spice with the serious topics of sexism, grief, the deaths of a parent, mental illness and ableism. It’s a solid debut novel. 

I want to start by saying that I don't like the friends to lovers trope. This book depicts one of the reasons I hate this trope. I hate it when the crushee only finally notices the crusher when the crusher becomes conventionally attractive. I also hate it when the pair, at any point in their relationship, had a sibling-like bond/relationship.

Now that's been said that's move on to the book.

Isabel "Belly" Conklin is our narrator, she's a 15-about-to-be-16 year old girl, and up until this summer, she has been an ugly duckling of sorts. The Conklins have spent every summer with the Fishers at their summer home, because the mothers, Laurel and Susannah, have been friends since they were children. Laurel is Belly's mother and Belly has a brother, Steven, who is two years older. Susannah has two sons, Conrad (two years older than Belly) and Jeremiah (one year older than Belly). This means that not only is Belly the only girl, she is also the youngest. Belly's parents are divorced and now Susannah and her husband are discussing divorce. And Susannah has declared that she believes that Belly is meant for one of her sons (which is admittedly a little creepy in a borderline "I'm gonna groom you to be my son's wife" kind of way). Only the mothers and the children spend the entire summer at the summer house, and despite Laurel not having much money, they're able to live at the beach for 3 months of the year every year.

Belly has had a not-so-secret crush on Conrad for most of her life, but since he's never reciprocated, she's doing her best to move on from him. She ends up dating a nice, cute boy her age, Cam, over the summer. Belly does this because she's never had a boy look at her twice before and Cam liked her before she "got pretty". She also wants to show Conrad that she's mature and desirable. But also, so see if he gets jealous. Which admittedly, is immature and unfair to Cam, but Belly genuinely likes Cam, even if it's not the way he likes her. It's perfectly normal to just date to have fun and to feel good.

Conrad's spending the entire summer drinking, smoking, and brooding, and Laurel is constantly complaining that Belly is never around. Forget the fact she doesn't nag the boys about spending time with them or that Belly is a teenager who has a social life. The boys and Laurel tease Belly and Cam to the point of embarrassment. Belly has spent her life being excluded from what the boys do and yet they are so overprotective of her you can practically smell the toxic masculinity.

She's a bit of a "pick me" girl, but I can understand being a teenager and not wanting to share your friends and not wanting outsiders to change your group's dynamic. The previous summer, she brings her best friend, Taylor, for a week. Taylor is the "pretty one", she's skinny and blonde, and guys never notice Belly, but they especially don't notice her next to Taylor. Taylor ends up making out with Steven and Jeremiah that week. This causes a falling out between the best friends and they end up just becoming friends that occasionally hang out.




Spoilers Ahead: 

Eventually, Cam and Belly break up, because Belly still has feelings for Conrad. Then Jeremiah admits to Belly that he has feelings for her, but she doesn't feel the same way. Jeremiah accepts this and that she still likes Conrad, and they go back to just being friends (like he doesn't act weird with her or hold a grudge against her). When Belly tries to confront Conrad about her feelings for him and accuses him of stringing her along (ensuring that his backup is always hung up on him), he turns around and accuses Belly of playing games with him, Cam, and Jeremiah all summer. The two of them argue, which leads to a physical altercation between Jeremiah and Conrad. That's when it's revealed that Susannah's cancer has come back and her sons have known without her knowing they knew. She wanted the summer to be perfect since it's likely to be her last and her sons and Laurel wanted to do that for her. Only Belly was in the dark, and she feels instant guilt for not spending more time with Susannah despite Susannah being the one to encourage Belly's social life.

The book ends with it being the following January, and Conrad has driven 5 hours from home to pick up Belly. Then it ends, thus setting up the second book.

And now my thoughts: 

I love Susannah (aside from the fact she believes Belly is meant for one of her sons). I think she's more of the mom that Belly needs than Laurel. Susannah indulges Belly in the things she likes and actually expresses an interest in what Belly does. But I absolutely hate that they did nothing when the boys excluded her (even when she whined) and then forced Belly to hang out with them instead, It's no wonder that Belly is all whiny now, she's been picked on by they boys her whole life and excluded from their fun, and has always felt like she was unwanted and an outsider. Is it any wonder that her self-esteem was also shot? Now, I'm not saying that the mothers should've forced the boys to always include her or caved in to her whining (that would've created a whole other set of problems), but they should have forced them to include her some of the time. I hate that Laurel punished Belly for whining or retaliating against the boys, but she did nothing when they made Belly feel bad or relentlessly teased her. 

The awkwardness of everyone knowing about Belly's "secret" crush on Conrad was slowly killing me. Also, I don't mind teasing here and there from siblings, friends, and parents, but they were all downright embarrassing doing what they did in front of Belly and Cam. 

I hate that Conrad accused Belly of playing games with him, Cam, and Jeremiah, when she did nothing to entertain Jeremiah's feelings and she never even considered him to be more than her friend. She might play flirt with him, but Jeremiah play flirts with literally every girl. And Conrad is basically mad that Belly isn't this idealized girl he's concocted in his head, and she's actually this independent person who is coming into her own. He calls her a kid, which is really condescending and a bit gross when it's revealed he likes her. Yet he's playing the oldest game in the book with the "I can't be the guy you want me to be" card. 

And finally, Taylor. She is a godawful person. Belly's "pick me" tendencies aside, Taylor broke like a million girl codes that weekend. She not only attempts to go after Conrad when she KNOWS Belly has had a crush on him her entire life, she also makes out with Jeremiah (Belly's best friend) and hurts his feelings, and then turns around to make out with Belly's brother. Like Belly is wrong for slut shaming Taylor, but Taylor is just wrong (and awfully promiscuous for a fourteen year old, but that's just based on how I was and who my friends were in high school. Maybe there were more girls interested in kissing as many boys as possible before they were 15?). She also constantly needed to be in the spotlight, always bossed Belly around, and she put Belly down a lot over her interests and her clothes. I was LIVID when Laurel didn't even hear what happened between the girls, she just told Belly to fix their friendship because best friends were for life. Like NO, terrible advice to tell a child they should always forgive their friends. I'm glad that they became friends that sometimes hang out, because Taylor is toxic and controlling, and just isn't a friend that anyone can trust. 


Now these are not bad things about the book, just my thoughts on what happened. I don't think Conrad is a good romantic interest. This book is a product of its time, so there were a few things in it that were cringe then and even more cringe now (like the uses of certain words). The grammar and writing was also off in much of the book. Like repetitiveness. I don't care that Belly is whiny and is dating a guy while liking another guys, she's 16, it's what teenagers do. There's not much going on and not all that many lessons to be learned in this book, it simply is the inner monologue of a lovesick teenaged girl. Which means everything is dramatic and the end-all-be-all. But I like that kind of teen angst. It's a decent YA contemporary romance and coming-of-age. I'm sure there are lots of people who can relate to being considered ugly growing up and then have problems believing people find them attractive as they fill out. There's obviously this emphasis on being thin in this book and that equating to something attractive, but that's like that in life, I just wish it was contested. 

I would say, watch the show, I liked it loads better, and then maybe read this book if you're interested in the source material. I was just curious about how different the book and show were. 

Bow Before the Elf Queen, sounds like a badass high fantasy romance, but unfortunately it fell a little flat with the badassness. 

Layala Lightbringer is an elf that’s born with magic (aka a mage) in a world where there hasn’t been really been a mage since the Black Mage cursed the people when they defeated him. Her parents were common people, but everyone was forced to present their newborns to the High King Tenebris to be tested for magic. Layala obviously tests positive for magic and Tenebris forces a mating bond on Layala and his 3 year old son, Prince Thane. Her parents are able to escape with her long enough to place her in the care of a human friend who raises Layala far away from the capital in a human village. Unfortunately, her parents were killed. 

25 years later, Prince Thane is now High King and he’s come to take Layala home to be his full mate. Layala hates him for obvious reasons on top of him kidnapping her. To complete the mating spell, they must wed before the 25th anniversary of placing the bond on them or they will turn into pale ones. Pale ones are vampire/zombie-like beings created by the Black Mage. There’s an army of them trying to break into the kingdom. They come from the Void and it’s believed to be Layala’s destiny to destroy the Void. Also, if one of them dies, they both die. A super fun mating bond. 


And now, spoilers:

 

So obviously they slowly fall in love, but Thane has been in love with Layala his whole life. He’s waited for her and protected her his whole life. He withstood abuse from his father for failing to locate Layala even though he knew exactly where she was. Thane’s mother and sister are awful to Layala from the start, and believe she should be grateful to be bonded to the High King. Thane postpones their wedding to give Layala the opportunity to break the bond despite thoroughly believing it’s impossible. He eventually reveals that he killed his murderous father by feeding him to pale ones. Oh and Thane is also a mage. So there’s that. 

Eventually, Layala finds out that Thane kept the full mating ritual from her. In order to complete the spell, they must wed AND consummate IN LOVE. But Layala swore to never love again after the man she loved died after having sex. You see Layala’s magic is dark and wild much like the Black Mage’s and it attracts pale ones. She believes if she and Thane have sex that it will kill him and because of the bond, it will kill her too. 

Of course they find out from a dragon sorceress that there is a way to break the bond and that the spell has a loyalty clause that would’ve killed anyone either of them slept with (if it wasn’t their mate). So Layala chose to keep the bond because she loves Thane. Unfortunately, they argued and he ended up getting captured and tortured by enemy elves. She saves him, they bang, and then are on their way home. 

That’s when they’re stopped by Tenebris who is not dead and wants to use Layala to raise the Black Mage, not destroy the Void. The dragon sorceress breaks the mating bond, seemingly kills Thane, and captures Layala. She wakes in a cell to find they were betrayed by Thane’s most trusted soldier and friend (who is also his bastard half-brother that he was unaware of). Tenebris threatens to kill Layala’s loved ones if she doesn’t raise the Black Mage. Then she receives a message that Thane is coming for her thus setting up the sequel. 

And we’re back. 

After reading Kearl’s bio, I learned that she keeps her fantasies PG-13, which there’s nothing wrong with that, but that’s not the vibe the TikToks were giving off and it certainly didn’t match up to the sexual taunts and tension buildup sprinkled throughout the book. There was sooooo much build up to the sex just for it to turn into a fade to black. Very disappointing but now I know what to expect. 


The book was long with a lot of unimportant filler scenes that just felt bleh. I liked the basics of the story and the concept of the pale ones, the Void, and Layala’s magic were interesting, and it honestly is what kept me going. I didn’t really care for any of the characters as they’re pretty two-dimensional. Layala’s pretty great but she straight up lost sight over her lifelong beliefs pretty quickly. I wanted her to resist a little more and not really like Thane for a lot longer (I mean the book is 600 pages, there could’ve been more of her standing her ground). And Thane had A LOT of cockiness and confidence in his sexual abilities given he was a virgin. 

I hated that NO ONE sympathized with Layala. They were all just pissed she wasn’t grateful to be bonded to Thane. No one considered she was raised by humans and Thane’s father KILLED HER PARENTS. Thane was too sure of himself and besting Layala several times, it’s a delicate balance when it comes to having a cocky love interest who’s VERY suggestive, it’s easy for it to be off-putting and creepy. 

Also, while they keep debating breaking the bond, no one ever brought up the most important reason to break it: that if one dies, they both die?! Like they both claim to care about their people and that Layala would marry him if all fails to save the kingdom. But they’re willing to not break the bond, in the middle of a war, and potentially leave their kingdom without a king or queen or an heir of any kind? It doesn’t really make sense that this reason was NEVER brought up. Layala’s main reasoning to break it was because she swore to never love again and Thane’s the son of the man that killed her parents. Meanwhile, Thane’s 100% pro complete the mating spell. 


Other than that, it was fun and mind numbing in a mildly entertaining way. Will read the sequel. 

I’m gonna tell you right now, I’m not sure I know what happened in this book. Look, I loved The Cruel Prince, like I mean LOVED it. It got 5 stars from me. And I think that gave me high expectations for this book (especially since I borrowed it from the library after weeks on the waitlist). However, this book wasn’t as great as it could’ve been. 

This is a new adult urban fantasy with very minimal spice (mostly just hot and heavy scenes) and cursing.  


Let’s recap: Charlie Hall is a morally grey character who’s a con artist and thief. She was trained to be one since she was about 12 years old and when magic turns out to be real, her job turns into stealing books with magic related secrets in them. Her sister, Posey, is obsessed with magic and tries to awaken shadow magic within her. Shadow magic is the magical system in this book. People’s shadows will “quicken” and then they’re able to manipulate their shadows to steal things or kill people (it becomes an extension of the person). After her own pettiness nearly gets her killed, she pulls out of the con game and becomes a bartender. She meets shadow-less but kind, Vince, and they live together. Vince is a good boyfriend, albeit mysterious and possibly void of a soul. Because he’s shadowless and that means someone stole his shadow which is apparently a piece of your soul. Posey reads tarot online as a job and spends most of her time looking up videos and articles about how to quicken her shadow. Despite Charlie’s efforts to stay out of the thieving business, shit hits the fan when an acquaintance gets involved with locating the Liber Noctem. It’s a well sought after book that allegedly contains secrets about Blights and was written by a Blight. A gloamist is someone with a quickened shadow and they must feed the shadow their own blood and dark emotions to keep its energy levels up. Too much power and blood, and too many dark emotions and you’ve got the recipe of creating a sentient shadow, known as a Blight, that will tear itself from its gloamist when they die. Then the Blight can roam the world and kill people. 



Here comes the spoilers, darling. 

So trauma is the key to quickening your shadow and when a Blight comes after Charlie when it thinks she has the Liber Noctem, her shadow quickens. She also discovers that Vince is not the mild mannered man he seems to be and he seems to be tied up with the murders and secrecy surrounding the Liber Noctem. Enter Lionel Salt, billionaire gloamist who attempted to kill Charlie when she was trying to con him as a child (though he doesn’t remember her). Charlie wants revenge and Salt wants to hire her to find the Liber Noctem. She plays along and discovers that Vince is Salt’s allegedly dead grandson, Edmund “Remy” Carver. Salt’s responsible for several deaths but has gotten away with it. He’s stolen his quickened shadow so he can become a gloamist and hopefully be voted on the gloamist governing body, the Cabal. 

Charlie learns that Remy’s shadow had quickened when he was a child, which is much younger than any other gloamist. Since he was a child, he named his shadow, Red. Naming a shadow and thinking of it as a separate being increases the likelihood it will become a Blight. And that’s exactly what Red becomes. Salt uses Remy to instruct Red to carry out his dirty work from the time that he’s 13 years old. He and Red grow up like brothers and Red is even able to temporarily detach himself from Remy. 

It’s ultimately revealed that Vince is Red and Remy was murdered by Salt. As Remy was dying he forced all his blood and energy into Red thus giving him a solid form that looked exactly like Remy. Eventually, Salt’s secrets are revealed to the Cabal and it’s revealed that he had the Liber Noctem the whole time, he just wanted to entrap Charlie and use her as a scapegoat when she turned up empty handed. But she found the book in his safe and was able to entrap him. 

Salt’s then killed by his stolen shadow and the Cabal imprison Vince. The Cabal has decided that Vince will be tethered to a gloamist and become their new Blight hunter controlled by the gloamist. Charlie is able to convince them to tether Vince to her instead. Once Vince is tethered to Charlie he reverts to his shadow form and has no memory of her or what happened to Remy. This is where the book ends, setting up for the sequel. 

Okay, done with the spoilers. 


Just a few things about this book. It had a lot of potential and I love a protagonist that isn’t likable all the time and has questionable morals. The shadow manipulation is interesting, but I don’t understand the magic system at all. It seems all that they can do is change their shadow’s shape, sneak into places, kill people, and steal things. Like what else is there? I don’t really understand the history of the magic either or the gloamist hierarchy. I mean gloamist get automatic high standing in society for having magic but literally all I’ve seen their magic do is harm one another and whatever poor sap gets caught up in gloamist rivalry. The book is also incredibly long for what happens in it and the pacing is very slow. It didn’t really catch my attention until a quarter of the way through but then it just started to drag again. It gets really interesting by two-thirds of the way and I was actually able to read the book all the way through. Before then, I was just reading one chapter at a time because it was boring and confusing. 

Like I said, there were a lot of parts I liked and there was a lot of potential in the book. I did laugh and cry and even had me on the edge of my seat for a scene or two. I’m not sure if a sequel is even necessary but I hope that Holly Black does a better job in the next book.

Bruv. If you thought the first book was wild, just hold onto your hats for this one. This was a rollercoaster of a ride filled with so many twists it was insane. Like I mean the Charlie meme and red yarn levels of insane. I gave my brother a rundown of what happened in these two books and it took nearly an hour and I STILL didn’t include everything that was crazy about this. This was some telenovela, Pretty Little Liars shit that had me yelling “WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK IS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE?!” 

So if you read the first one (please do that first—this review and this book won’t make sense without reading book one) you know Sawyer and the whole Taft family. Well now it’s summer time and the family is heading to the lake house! At this point, you know that Sawyer is a product of a teenage pregnancy pact and the outcome of her mother (Ellie) sleeping with her brother-in-law (JD) who was 23 at the time and Ellie was 17. Sawyer isn’t able to tell her cousin (Lily) the truth about sharing a dad. Sawyer struggles with this secret for about a quarter of the book. But her main focus is finding out what happened to the other participant in Ellie’s pregnancy pact, her friend, Ana Gutierrez. Ana hasn’t been seen or heard from in 20 years. Sawyer’s told that the Ames family took care of it, and Campbell seems to think that her family killed this girl and her unborn baby (who would be Campbell and Walker’s half-sibling). 


This is the part where you look away if you don’t want this spoiled for you. 

So Sawyer and Campbell are on a mission to find Ana. Lily’s trying to figure things out about her future. And Sadie-Grace is dealing with the fact that her step-mother, Greer (and the mastermind behind the pregnancy pact), is lying about being pregnant and her “due date” is slowly approaching. Sawyer and Campbell very easily find Victoria Gutierrez who is the daughter of Victor Gutierrez (who is Ana’s grandfather). Yes you read that correctly, she is Victor’s granddaughter, making 21-year-old Victoria her aunt (Ana’s like 38). Well that’s because Victor’s second wife (Victoria’s mom) is Ana’s age. So cringe. Well Sawyer and Campbell find Victoria because her family also summers (gross) at this lake resort and she also happens to be a leader in a super secret society of college aged former Debs, who have the added bonus of living life feeling powerless. But it’s all super convenient. And the 4 girls are tagged  to go through the hazing/initiation processes which is where they get up to most of their shenanigans and sleuthing for the summer. 

Then it comes out that JD is Sawyer’s dad, at the same time she discovers that JD has been having an affair with none other than Ana Gutierrez. So random and, again, convenient. Lily actually catches them in the act. Queue Lily’s spiral. Not only that but Ana’s being super shady about who she gave her baby up to, and 25 year old female remains have been found in the lake (originally the girls are told the bones are at least 2 decades old so they speculate the bones are Ana’s but then Ana turns up and the investigators are able to give a more accurate date on the bones), but it’s revealed that Olivia has known about JD’s affair, she knew he fathered Sawyer, and Olivia blackmailed JD into marrying her! 

While these events are happening, there’s flash backs to 25 years ago, the summer before Olivia’s senior year, and shortly after her dad died. She’s going by “Liv” at this point, and she’s spending the day at the lake with Julia Ames, Charlotte (Sterling Ames’ future wife), JD, Sterling, and Thomas (Julia’s future husband). And that’s when you make the connection between that summer, the dead body, and JD being blackmailed for an “accident” he was involved in.  

Again, these people. Then Greer “goes into labor” and Sadie and Sawyer follow her to a shady town over from their city where she’s assisting a girl, Beth, in giving birth (she’s there to buy the baby). Beth’s grandmother, Ellen, is the one organizing this hand off. Who’s Ellen you might ask, well she’s Lillian Taft’s identical twin sister she never mentioned to her kids or grandkids (Yeah, I know, insane!). That means Beth is Sawyer and Lily’s second cousin, who’s about to hand off their third cousin to Sadie-Grace’s stepmother to be raised as her half-brother. Like JESUS H CHRIST. 

Ellen tells Sawyer to get out and never come back. Lillian tries to explain that her sister was too prideful and spiteful to ever accept Lillian’s help and that they haven’t seen one another in 40 years. But she did what she could to take care of her sister’s family (in typical Lillian fashion) from afar. Later Sawyer suspects that maybe Ellen might have placed Ana’s baby with a family. And though Victoria tries to help, they reach a dead end. They even get Ana to come home finally to see if maybe she’ll talk once she’s welcomed back by Victor, but as soon as Ana walks up to him, he keels over and dies (I mean he was 80 and he just had the shock of his life). And Ana inherits a ridiculous amount of money. Which is why she sold her baby, so she could have money. 

It’s discovered that 25 years ago, JD, Charlotte, and Sterling accidentally kill Liv Taft after an argument. And she was replaced by her nearly identical cousin, Kaci, who’s Ellen’s daughter. The group cover up her death and say Liv ran away and Kaci took this time to become Liv (she’s been watching the Taft family for years trying to find a way to introduce herself). None of the group can expose her without getting themselves in trouble for Liv’s death. So she gets JD to marry her. And when she discovers that he slept with Ellie and got her pregnant, she realizes JD will leave her. So she lies and says she’s pregnant, goes to Ellen for a baby, and Ana gives her baby to Ellen. She finds out a decade later who the baby went to, and tells JD the truth, and he pays her off (which is what she’s after) to keep from revealing the truth to his daughter. Years of paying her off some how turned into an affair. This was absolute batshit crazy. And Lillian found out the truth a few months prior about Olivia. 

This is all revealed after Olivia/Kaci drugs and kidnaps Sawyer and Sadie-Grace when they come to Ellen for answers about Ana’s baby. Olivia nearly kills Sawyer, Sadie-Grace, Campbell, and Victoria when they’re all there to witness this crazy story. Victoria even says “Who ARE you people?”, like girl, for real. But Olivia doesn’t kill them because Lillian comes and forgives her and sees her as her daughter since for the last 25 years, she’s been her daughter. This is all fine and dandy (I guess), but if Lily is Ana’s daughter, that means she’s also Sterling Ames’ daughter which makes her the half-sister of Campbell and Walker. Walker who she’s dated and is still kind of in love with. But it’s fine, because Walker reveals that his mother (Charlotte) told him he’s not Sterling’s son. So another convenient situation to avoid a crisis situation that would’ve been incest. 

Who’s Walker’s father? What happens between Lily and Walker? What happened to Hope? What happened to JD? Is John David okay emotionally? Do Lillian and Davis ever hook up? These are the questions that will never be answered. 

When Sawyer tells Lily about her parentage, they decide to run away together and back to Sawyer’s hometown and Ellie (groans). They live in a crappy one bedroom for 4 months before they go back home and accept Lily’s situation and continue to pretend that Kaci is Olivia for forever? Honesty, it’s a mess. 

All this is happening and Lily’s still spiraling and Sawyer is struggling with not becoming like her mother. She actively refuses to grow too attached or fall in love. Which is a shame since she’s fallen into a situationship with Nick (from the first book) and they actually have decent chemistry. Like not a whole lot of chemistry, because romance is not the focus of these books, but enough where I could kind of see it. But I’m not a huge fan of Nick’s since he knows that Sawyer’s life isn’t normal but he expects her to be with him. I mean he gives her an ultimatum, like not okay. She’ll eventually realize she can chance her heart even if it’s not with Nick and her bond with Lily becomes even stronger. 

So that’s all to say that Campbell and Walker are half-siblings. Campbell and Lily are half-sisters but Walker and Lily are not related at all (phew). This means that Campbell and Lily are Boone’s cousins, but Walker is not. Ana and Sterling are Lily’s biological parents, making Victoria her great aunt, Victor her great grandfather, she’s Davis’ granddaughter. JD is Sawyer’s and John David’s father so they are half-siblings, but Lily and Sawyer have no biological relation. Genetically, Liv and Kaci are siblings, so that still makes Kaci Sawyer’s aunt and John David is also her cousin. Sadie-Grace’s new sibling has no blood relation to her but is Sawyer’s third cousin (genetically her second cousin) and John David’s great nephew. And honestly depending on who Walker’s dad is, he could be related to Boone or Sadie-Grace or Sawyer. 

Okay and we’re back. Now my thoughts. 

This was a wild ride that’s totally not realistic but I don’t care because I LIVE for the drama and the teenage non-existent self preservation that Sawyer has. Like she puts herself in such dangerous situations, it was incredible. 


I LOVE Lily and Sawyer’s relationship and their friendship with Sadie-Grace and Campbell. Like Sadie-Grace is off her rocker, but I love her. She kind of reminds me of Luna Lovegood. 


I still hate that Ellie is forgiven. She’s still a shit mom (though the drama she started with Greer and JD in public was *chef’s kiss*) and toxic as hell. But I digress. 

I also didn’t like that Barnes made Ana half-Swedish. It didn’t really make sense other than using it to explain how Ana be able to hide the baby within this kind of society (which is predominantly white). There aren’t really any people of color in this book and she like whitewashed two of the three persons of color by doing this. I’m not sure if she just did this randomly or she did it to explain how Ana’s child would be fair-skinned and could be passed off as the child of a white, blonde haired, blue-eyed couple. But Latinos come in all shades AND the baby’s father is white. So there was no need to “explain” why Ana is so fair because she’s half whitest of whites. 

There’s so many unanswered questions and it’s all so over the top, but I think it’s great and a lot of fun. This gets 4 stars on just being dramatic, soap opera-esque entertainment on its own. Like surprise baby daddies AND baby mamas? EVIL TWINS? A teenage summer time cold case?? Like Jesus. I love it. 

A YA mystery/thriller that gives off Pretty Little Liars vibes without the romantic drama and has all the girl bonding? Yes please! I adored this book. It was like reading a book filled with telenovela level drama or like I was reading juicy gossip from high school drama. I loved it. It was fun and different. 

Sawyer is 18 and recently received her GED. She was raised by her single mother, Ellie. Ellie had Sawyer when she was 17 and ended up in a crappy apartment above a bar where she would work at to provide for Sawyer. Ellie told Sawyer her grandmother kicked Ellie out when she revealed she was pregnant and that her rich Southern family wanted nothing to do with Ellie or her baby. That is until the very prim and proper Lillian Taft shows up at Sawyer and her mother’s apartment. Ellie was off running around for a few weeks with a guy as usual. Lillian offers to give Sawyer half a million dollars for college if Sawyer comes back with her to attend Debutante events and be presented to society (she of course draws up a contract for her to sign). 

Going with Lillian had the added bonus of finding out who her father is. Sawyer then meets her maternal aunt, Olivia, her husband, JD, and their two kids, John David and Lily. Lily is Sawyer’s age in her final year of high school. Lily is also being presented to society with her cousin. They don’t get along right away, but eventually they bond and get into several questionable situations with Lily’s best friend, Sadie Grace, and her nemesis, Campbell. 

There’s a mysterious hit-and-run, stolen pearls, teen pregnancy, and a bunch of cover ups. It’s all pretty PG-13, and through adult eyes, a little silly, but I loved it!



LOOK AWAY! SPOILERS!!!




You’ve been warned. 

So we find out that Campbell is trying to frame her father for stealing these pearls because he framed his son, Walker, for a hit-and-run that resulted in the victim ending up in a coma. Walker thinks he actually hit this person (he was drunk at the time) and he goes on a bender, drops out of school, and breaks up with Lily (yes that Lily) because he thinks he’s a garbage human. So of course the girls join Campbell in framing her father. And they succeed (yay) and Walker’s told the truth. 

Sawyer also finds out that Lillian has been paying the bar to keep Ellie employed when she spent 18 years running off with random men for weeks at a time. And that Lillian has ensured Ellie and Sawyer had food, clothes, and shelter without either of them knowing the truth. 

Eventually Sawyer suspects her father must be Campbell’s dad (Senator Ames), Lily’s dad, Sadie Grace’s dad, or her new friend, Boone’s dad (who is married to Senator Ames’ sister). It’s a real family affair. And really problematic as Ellie was 17 and all these potential candidates were 21-23 years old. Senator Ames and his wife, Charlotte, all but confirm that he’s Sawyer’s dad and Ellie even confirms it. However, this turns out to be a lie. Turns out her Uncle JD is her father, and Sawyer is a product of a pregnancy pact Ellie made with her fellow Debs, Ana and Greer. Ana was the one knocked up by Senator Ames and she’s since been missing ever since. Greer, who is Sadie Grace’s new stepmother, lost her baby and dropped Ana and Ellie after that. This is of course where the story ends. With the mystery of what happened to Ana and what will happen to Greer since she faked a recent pregnancy with her new husband. 


And now my thoughts. 

I absolutely HATED Ellie. She’s not a good mother. There’s more to being a parent than just loving your kid and making sure they had clothes on their backs, a roof over their heads, and food in the fridge (these last 3 were very much because of Lillian and NOT Ellie). Ellie is a petty, spoiled, emotionally immature child that not only LIED about Sawyer’s father and the events surrounding her conception, but she lied about her family not wanting anything to do with them. Sawyer didn’t have a family outside of her mother. And after the pregnancy pact, it confirmed my suspicions that Ellie is the kind of woman that had a kid so she wouldn’t be lonely and she’d have someone who’d love her unconditionally. It’s really disgusting. Because she emotionally manipulated Sawyer. She ghosts her own daughter when Sawyer decides to stay with the Taft family through the duration of their contract. She tells Sawyer she doesn’t need to go to college because she needs to be with her mother. I could’ve forgiven her actions as a 17 year old but she’s 35 and still trying to keep Sawyer around for when she’s not running off with some man. So she’s never alone. I really, REALLY hate that it seemed that Sawyer was forgiving her mother after all that. Because it’s just so problematic, toxic, and abusive. Any young person reading this should know they don’t have to forgive their abusers EVER. Even if they change. 

Okay Spoilers are done!!



I adored Sawyer and Lily. I enjoyed Sawyer being challenged and being out of her element but still holding her own. She wasn’t this stereotypical, scrappy, unintelligent “from the wrong side of the tracks” and “I’m different from other girls” kind of teenager. She was a bright, sarcastic, cunning, resourceful young woman who might have had different tastes but she didn’t outright reject the new pampering and fashion she was being asked to adopt. She incorporated pieces that were hers and negotiated with her grandmother so nothing was so shocking it caused gossip. 

I think it did drag a little, but it was still a really fast paced story. I wished the other Debs weren’t so in the background. I mean no one had names other then the main 4 girls, the three boys, and their parents. I’m not saying that they needed whole backgrounds or be part of the main story, it just seemed less real (?) I guess. It just seemed like the hyper focus on this group made it hard to imagine that anything else existed outside of this bubble. And again, I hate that it seemed implied that Sawyer was going to forgive her emotionally manipulative mother. It’s just so toxic. And it definitely got points taken off for that. 

Other than that, I think it’s a great YA mystery. It was funny and genuinely had me go “SHUT UP”, “WHAT THE FUCK?!”, and “I KNEW IT!” It’s definitely appropriate for the younger end of the YA range and as an adult, pretty predictable, but still a lot of fun and had a few surprises. 

I’ve got to say this isn’t my favorite of the STEMinist novellas. I liked the first one then I can’t decide which one I liked the least between the second and third ones. I do like a big, bear of a man that’s like not ripped and chiseled but still strong. And I definitely love a bearded ginger but there was just something missing in Hannah and Ian’s story. 

I liked that Hannah and Ian have this hot first encounter and there’s good chemistry between them, but I don’t feel like they interact much. I’m not a fan of instalove or miscommunication tropes, and though this miscommunication isn’t as bad or cliche as most, it’s still there. I like Hannah, she’s a little mean and I like that. I love she’s bisexual and completely comfortable with her sexuality and is sex positive. She knows what she likes until Ian comes along and throws all that out the window. I get her feelings of not being lovable (trust) and I think she’s great. I wish there was more time to make her a more well rounded character. She’s smart and funny, stubborn, sarcastic, and she takes charge. And I get why the conflict between her and Ian happened as a woman in STEM or any male dominated field. She’s by far got the most interesting job of the three novella women. 

I didn’t like that Hannah was just casually in a crevasse without any real explanation though you can connect the dots. And what happened with the Dr. Merel? Maybe novellas aren’t Hazelwood’s forte. That’s fine. These were fun books and I rated them according to their genre and book type. Also, the sec scene was too short for me! I didn’t find it directly hot that Ian was comparing her body to Martian topography, but I did find it hot that he knew she’d find it hot. 

I do wish Hazelwood had more diversity in her books. I love the sexuality diversity with the demisexual, ace, and bisexual representation, but I’d like to see more than just the same hot white guys and women copy and pasted. 

The novellas are a little repetitive but they’re also supposed to be quick one shots that give us really popular tropes: forced proximity, miscommunication, enemies to lovers, and instalove. So I can’t fault Hazelwood in not developing a whole love story in 100 pages. I do hope Love on the Brain is way better and lives up to The Love Hypothesis hype. But for cute, wholesome, hot novellas, these scratched the itch for me.