I want to start by saying that I don't like the friends to lovers trope. This book depicts one of the reasons I hate this trope. I hate it when the crushee only finally notices the crusher when the crusher becomes conventionally attractive. I also hate it when the pair, at any point in their relationship, had a sibling-like bond/relationship.

Now that's been said that's move on to the book.

Isabel "Belly" Conklin is our narrator, she's a 15-about-to-be-16 year old girl, and up until this summer, she has been an ugly duckling of sorts. The Conklins have spent every summer with the Fishers at their summer home, because the mothers, Laurel and Susannah, have been friends since they were children. Laurel is Belly's mother and Belly has a brother, Steven, who is two years older. Susannah has two sons, Conrad (two years older than Belly) and Jeremiah (one year older than Belly). This means that not only is Belly the only girl, she is also the youngest. Belly's parents are divorced and now Susannah and her husband are discussing divorce. And Susannah has declared that she believes that Belly is meant for one of her sons (which is admittedly a little creepy in a borderline "I'm gonna groom you to be my son's wife" kind of way). Only the mothers and the children spend the entire summer at the summer house, and despite Laurel not having much money, they're able to live at the beach for 3 months of the year every year.

Belly has had a not-so-secret crush on Conrad for most of her life, but since he's never reciprocated, she's doing her best to move on from him. She ends up dating a nice, cute boy her age, Cam, over the summer. Belly does this because she's never had a boy look at her twice before and Cam liked her before she "got pretty". She also wants to show Conrad that she's mature and desirable. But also, so see if he gets jealous. Which admittedly, is immature and unfair to Cam, but Belly genuinely likes Cam, even if it's not the way he likes her. It's perfectly normal to just date to have fun and to feel good.

Conrad's spending the entire summer drinking, smoking, and brooding, and Laurel is constantly complaining that Belly is never around. Forget the fact she doesn't nag the boys about spending time with them or that Belly is a teenager who has a social life. The boys and Laurel tease Belly and Cam to the point of embarrassment. Belly has spent her life being excluded from what the boys do and yet they are so overprotective of her you can practically smell the toxic masculinity.

She's a bit of a "pick me" girl, but I can understand being a teenager and not wanting to share your friends and not wanting outsiders to change your group's dynamic. The previous summer, she brings her best friend, Taylor, for a week. Taylor is the "pretty one", she's skinny and blonde, and guys never notice Belly, but they especially don't notice her next to Taylor. Taylor ends up making out with Steven and Jeremiah that week. This causes a falling out between the best friends and they end up just becoming friends that occasionally hang out.




Spoilers Ahead: 

Eventually, Cam and Belly break up, because Belly still has feelings for Conrad. Then Jeremiah admits to Belly that he has feelings for her, but she doesn't feel the same way. Jeremiah accepts this and that she still likes Conrad, and they go back to just being friends (like he doesn't act weird with her or hold a grudge against her). When Belly tries to confront Conrad about her feelings for him and accuses him of stringing her along (ensuring that his backup is always hung up on him), he turns around and accuses Belly of playing games with him, Cam, and Jeremiah all summer. The two of them argue, which leads to a physical altercation between Jeremiah and Conrad. That's when it's revealed that Susannah's cancer has come back and her sons have known without her knowing they knew. She wanted the summer to be perfect since it's likely to be her last and her sons and Laurel wanted to do that for her. Only Belly was in the dark, and she feels instant guilt for not spending more time with Susannah despite Susannah being the one to encourage Belly's social life.

The book ends with it being the following January, and Conrad has driven 5 hours from home to pick up Belly. Then it ends, thus setting up the second book.

And now my thoughts: 

I love Susannah (aside from the fact she believes Belly is meant for one of her sons). I think she's more of the mom that Belly needs than Laurel. Susannah indulges Belly in the things she likes and actually expresses an interest in what Belly does. But I absolutely hate that they did nothing when the boys excluded her (even when she whined) and then forced Belly to hang out with them instead, It's no wonder that Belly is all whiny now, she's been picked on by they boys her whole life and excluded from their fun, and has always felt like she was unwanted and an outsider. Is it any wonder that her self-esteem was also shot? Now, I'm not saying that the mothers should've forced the boys to always include her or caved in to her whining (that would've created a whole other set of problems), but they should have forced them to include her some of the time. I hate that Laurel punished Belly for whining or retaliating against the boys, but she did nothing when they made Belly feel bad or relentlessly teased her. 

The awkwardness of everyone knowing about Belly's "secret" crush on Conrad was slowly killing me. Also, I don't mind teasing here and there from siblings, friends, and parents, but they were all downright embarrassing doing what they did in front of Belly and Cam. 

I hate that Conrad accused Belly of playing games with him, Cam, and Jeremiah, when she did nothing to entertain Jeremiah's feelings and she never even considered him to be more than her friend. She might play flirt with him, but Jeremiah play flirts with literally every girl. And Conrad is basically mad that Belly isn't this idealized girl he's concocted in his head, and she's actually this independent person who is coming into her own. He calls her a kid, which is really condescending and a bit gross when it's revealed he likes her. Yet he's playing the oldest game in the book with the "I can't be the guy you want me to be" card. 

And finally, Taylor. She is a godawful person. Belly's "pick me" tendencies aside, Taylor broke like a million girl codes that weekend. She not only attempts to go after Conrad when she KNOWS Belly has had a crush on him her entire life, she also makes out with Jeremiah (Belly's best friend) and hurts his feelings, and then turns around to make out with Belly's brother. Like Belly is wrong for slut shaming Taylor, but Taylor is just wrong (and awfully promiscuous for a fourteen year old, but that's just based on how I was and who my friends were in high school. Maybe there were more girls interested in kissing as many boys as possible before they were 15?). She also constantly needed to be in the spotlight, always bossed Belly around, and she put Belly down a lot over her interests and her clothes. I was LIVID when Laurel didn't even hear what happened between the girls, she just told Belly to fix their friendship because best friends were for life. Like NO, terrible advice to tell a child they should always forgive their friends. I'm glad that they became friends that sometimes hang out, because Taylor is toxic and controlling, and just isn't a friend that anyone can trust. 


Now these are not bad things about the book, just my thoughts on what happened. I don't think Conrad is a good romantic interest. This book is a product of its time, so there were a few things in it that were cringe then and even more cringe now (like the uses of certain words). The grammar and writing was also off in much of the book. Like repetitiveness. I don't care that Belly is whiny and is dating a guy while liking another guys, she's 16, it's what teenagers do. There's not much going on and not all that many lessons to be learned in this book, it simply is the inner monologue of a lovesick teenaged girl. Which means everything is dramatic and the end-all-be-all. But I like that kind of teen angst. It's a decent YA contemporary romance and coming-of-age. I'm sure there are lots of people who can relate to being considered ugly growing up and then have problems believing people find them attractive as they fill out. There's obviously this emphasis on being thin in this book and that equating to something attractive, but that's like that in life, I just wish it was contested. 

I would say, watch the show, I liked it loads better, and then maybe read this book if you're interested in the source material. I was just curious about how different the book and show were.