Reviews by just_one_more_paige

1.55k reviews by:

just_one_more_paige

A Dowry of Blood

S.T. Gibson

4.0

adventurous dark mysterious tense fast-paced

Plot or Character Driven: Character

Strong character development: Yes

Loveable characters: Yes

Diverse cast of characters: Complicated

Flaws of characters a main focus: Complicated

Although I have been on hold for this one at the library since early October (ish), there was definitely some kind of delay in the process because our copy didn’t arrive/get processed til mid-December. And despite the fact that we are now deeply past the “spooky” season this read was meant to be for, I don’t even care because a Dracula retelling/spin-off with a cover like this is absolutely going to be at the top of my personal TBR no matter what season it is.

As she lays dying after a raid on her small village in Romania, a young woman is “saved” by Dracula, who turns her into a vampire, renames her Constanta, and takes her as his wife. Over the years, her intense feelings for and obsession with her savior are the cornerstone of her existence. Dracula introduces her to so much of life, and love, that she had never imagined. But as the centuries pass and two new consorts, a politically savvy aristocrat (Magdalena) and a starving artist (Alexei), are added to their “family,” Constanta begins to face the darker aspects of Dracula’s love for them. Finding solace, intimacy, and partnership with both Magdalena and Alexei in different ways, she begins to realize that her husband’s secrets are more dangerous that she’d ever imagined, and the three will have to make some impossible choices in the fight for their freedom.

Now, I usually don’t go in for horror (though maybe I need to revise some of that because I also read and *loved* Nettle & Bone earlier this year), but I have a major soft spot for vampires (always have), so I knew I was going to give this one a try. And I am so glad I did. Although it’s listed as adult fiction, and I totally understand why and agree, it’s written with a style and narrative voice that felt very YA to me, so I flew through it in just a few short sittings. What a haunting, terrible romance this story was. We are dropped right into things with the perfect Dracula-esque opening scenes of bloody pain and vengeance and things remained just as atmospheric until the finale. Although the bloodiness abated through the middle, the same sinister and desire-sodden vibes remained throughout, in slightly different (but spot on for their characters) forms, as Magdalena and Alexei are woven into the story. And the end brings back all the violence and drama that the death of someone like Dracula has always inspired for writers and readers.

I could not get enough of the complex intertwining of savior and wanting and desire and safety and fear and manipulation, all in a heady rush of confusion and ecstasy and terror, that was Constanta’s every moment with Dracula. It was intoxicating, enthralling and I absolutely lost myself in it. There was also a fascinating combination of the toxicity of (mentally and emotionally) abusive relationships and the magical toxicity that is often present in fantasy that addresses the day-to-day of immortality. It’s not hard to see how that kind of reality can take a dark turn, which makes the relationships that Constanta, Magdalena and Alexei are able to form under those dual shadows that Dracula casts, and lean into that as their [only] power, in order to make their final stand altogether, no faltering, that much more affecting.

I think, as a side note, that this is the first polyamorous “romance” that I have ever read. And I can say for sure that it will not be my last. I was fascinated by the dynamics and roles that each character fell into, both with and without Dracula in the picture. I honestly just loved how much love and support there was (obviously discounting Dracula here) and the finale chapter from Alexei’s perspective was honestly one of the most tender and heartwarming things I’ve read in awhile. Just, I loved seeing the three of them forge something whole and safe and beautiful from the darkness and horror of their shared past.

This novel was a whole mood. What an incredibly fresh take on a well worn classic, with all the dark intensity that a reader would want from anything Dracula-related, but with a more hopeful ending than one usually gets from this kind of “descent into horror/madness” style read. Though the writing was basic, it was affecting, and I loved the complexity and authenticity of the relationships as they were molded and re-molded to fit each other. Atmospheric AF.

“This is my last love letter to you, though some would call it a confession. I suppose both are a sort of gentle violence, putting down in ink what scorches the air when spoken aloud.”

“What is more lovely, after all, than a monster undone with wanting?”

“Love makes monsters of us, Constanta, and not everyone is cut out for monstrosity.”

"There was no huge argument that predicated my decision to betray you, no ultimate act of tyranny. I simply broke under the weight of a thousand tense nights, a thousand thoughtless, soul-stripping words. I felt like I was losing my mind in that place, and eventually my desire to do something about it, anything about it, outweighed my fear of you." (What a perfectly anticlimactic, and all the more affecting for it, in its simplicity and authenticity, moment.)

“You had debased us all over time, as slow as dripping water wearing a hole in stone. We couldn't abide you, but we couldn't live without you.”

“Being around him is like burning up with fever. I know I'm not well, but I'm too delirious to do anything.”

“It would be easier if he hated us [...] But he loves us all terribly. And if we go on letting him love us, that love is going to kill us. That's what makes him so dangerous.”

Content Warnings

A Touch of Darkness

Scarlett St. Clair

4.0

adventurous dark fast-paced

Plot or Character Driven: A mix

Strong character development: Yes

Loveable characters: Yes

Diverse cast of characters: No

Flaws of characters a main focus: No

This cold dark winter, heavy interact-with-other-people, Holiday time of year always makes me want to pick up this sort of book: a quick, fast, steamy, magical romance. This is around when I started the “Psy-Changeling” series last year, and I wanted something like that again (though potentially much less of a commitment than that 15-book series). I’ve had this one on my radar for a while, waiting for just that mood-reading-vibe.

A Touch of Darkness is set in a magical alternate world in which the Greek gods of mythology are real, and live on earth among the people. Persephone is the daughter of Demeter, but Goddess of Spring only in name really, since not only does she have no magic of her own, just touching anything alive (flowers, etc.) causes it to wither and die. Hades is…Hades, God of the Dead/Underworld. One of the most powerful gods, owner of a chain of exclusive clubs and gambling halls, known for making impossible deals with anyone daring enough to challenge him to a game of poker. Not much is known about him other than that, but when a chance outing brings Persephone and Hades together, Persephone finds herself facing an impossible contract: create life in the Underworld, or be trapped there forever. Though as she spends more time around Hades and in his Underworld, she realizes that perhaps that wouldn’t be as bad as it sounds…but her freedom is important to her and she is done with everyone playing around with her.

Well this retelling of Hades and Persephone’s famous story is not literary fiction in the vein of Miller’s Circe or Gornichec’s The Witch’s Heart, but it was never advertised as such. This fairly smutty retelling leans heavily into the smoldering lust and fiery sex vibes, and in that way, it was everything I wanted. The pull between Hades and Persephone is strong from their very first looks at each other and only gets more intense from there. The build in their interactions is steady but consistent, paced out well. I enjoyed (and I get that there’s unhealthy aspects to this, but I can’t help what gets me excited reading a romance novel), the dark and kinda-bad/secretly-better-than-people-think vibes Hades gives off. And I was thrilled with the way that Persephone was able to enjoy his controlling-ness when it worked for her (*cough*cough*) and stood up to him when she felt like it crossed a line IRL (and how it pretty much brought him to a halt/reset every time). Though I felt like some things could have been explained clearer/sooner to Persephone (and Hades would have made his life a lot easier by doing that), it did give them some time to grow together at the more reasonable, if not slow, pace…and I see the argument that Hades has a lot of previous years of habit to overcome too. Overall, for a timeless being/young female relationship – that most classic of fantasy romance tropes – I thought it was well done.

There were some very cool aspects to the world-building too. I mean, it was nothing too complex, but the concept that the gods live among people on Earth, integrating into contemporary life, but without losing their powers. Like, Hades and Aphrodite owning exclusive (if very different in atmosphere) clubs, Dionysus owning a major wine business, Zeus leading a marketing conglomerate, etc. was a creative spin. And all the magic and cameos from different gods and famous historical places/figures/names, from Hermes to gorgons to Adonis to satyrs to Hecate to Tartarus, it was fun trying to spot all the easter eggs. Similarly, the parallels to the original Hades and Persephone myth that created the framework for this retelling were good – clear and present, but adapted as necessary and not so overbearing as to intrude on the “believability” of this version. There were some more serious topics that are introduced (parental manipulation/gaslighting, sexual harassment/violence against women), they were mostly smaller side-aspects of the story, to provide some dimension and other focal points.

I enjoyed that part of this story was not just Persephone coming of age as a person and sexually, but into her power as well. I thought it was lovely that her sexual awakening was part of what set her magic free (I am here for a woman claiming her own sexuality as a very real taking back of power; it’s a metaphor I can get behind). I very much sped through this, basically in one sitting, and I enjoyed every steamy and cheesy and mythological second of it.

“Respect could build an empire. Trust could make it unbreakable. Love could make it last forever.”

“People found love in all sorts of ways.”

Content Warnings

The Sex Lives of African Women

Nana Darkoa Sekyiamah

4.0

hopeful informative reflective medium-paced

It was the title of this one that grabbed my attention. And if anyone tries to tell me that this title doesn't catch your eye...I don't believe you. Haha. That's really all I have to say as an intro here - I was intrigued enough to find it at the library very soon after it first came across my radar.

Nana Darkoa Sekyiamah is the founder and curator of the blog "Adventures from the Bedrooms of African Women," which led to this collection of stories in which women of Africa and the African Diaspora share openly about their experiences with sex and sexuality. There are over thirty voices collected in this work of nonfiction, each a short first person reflection on the narrator's experiences with relationships, sex, and related topics, introduced with a short snippet from Sekyiamah herself detailing how she met/came to speak with each of the women in this book.

This was an absolutely fascinating reading experience. I cannot remember the last time I read something this...new? Like these are topics and perspectives that I have never seen on the page before. And all told in a very unique framework as well, with the author's intro for each with some context (about the background and/or the speaker) before we jump in. It is worth noting that, because these are fairly short short “in their own voice” sections, like just a few pages each (which makes sense, if you think about how many voices we are getting to hear from), there is an element of jumpiness to the overall narrative style. I didn't find it to be an issue, due to the nature of the book, but it is worth noting. And as a final point about the writing/formatting...this was incredibly, refreshingly, non judgemental (in acceptance or condemnation); just a reporting of the facts/realities of the women's lives, without extra analysis or personal commentary. Sekyiamah shares everything in the women's own words, with her minimal context, just as a fact of existence, and the reader is left on all fronts to draw their own conclusions (or judgements). I kind of loved that about this collection, that it just....is...like whether you agree or identify with anything or not, this is still these women's truths, period.

Honestly, the sheer number of unique life experiences included was fantastic and fascinating. There is such diversity in these pages - a variety of ages, nationalities/backgrounds, religious beliefs, sexualities, inclusive interpretation of womanhood, etc. It was astounding the way that so many of these experiences and explorations of sex are universal, despite how different individual countries/cultural identities, and the language used to describe them (which I did have to put effort into remembering, as some language choices felt less "ok" to me, but were how the interviewees self-identified, are. There was very much a primary focus on sex, the act(s) itself and partner(s) it's with, which makes sense with the primary focus of this book in mind. There were a few stories that centered celibacy or aro-ace in some way, but that was definitely not the majority. Overall, the concept of traveling outside or finding freedom from the traditional societal expectations/availability of options on women and sex, how so many of the voices in these pages used sex as a way to explore one’s body and self and needs and place in the world, and as a method of healing and growth, was stunning, spectacular, a nonfiction highlight for the ages.

The phenomenal insight and vulnerability achieved in these pages could only have been possible with an author/curator creating an incredibly safe space for people to trust and share within. That Sekyiamah achieved that here is truly something special. There was such candor and validation in these conversations and shared stories and I cannot really put to words how appreciative I am to have been able to spend time within them.

“Sex feels like the one area in my life where I am not confident. That makes me sad. I am an adult in so many ways apart from this.”

“It is only when you are transparent that you get the material benefits of your objectification.”

“Freedom is not a destination that one arrives at and can choose to stay there forever and ever. Freedom is a constant state of being, an energy and a state that we need to nurture and protect. Freedom is a safe home that one can return to over and over again.”

“There’s a place for all of us and I think that the notion of mothering gets extended when we think of the ways in which women mother and father across gender.”

“I don’t think you can ever be ready for your first time. How can you be ready for something you have never experienced before? It's impossible. I think you just need to be comfortable with the person you're with and afterwards everything will be fine.”

“It was important to me that a book about the sex lives of African women would both speak to the infinite identities that African women hold, and show how we can create and re-create our identities, even those that appear fixed and immutable.”

“I now have a compulsive need to speak up about everything because I was silent for so long. Silence leads to damage and I am a product of that. For me, having a healthy relationship with a person of the opposite sex is about unlearning those patterns of silence and coming to each experience with honesty. When you have two consenting adults, and you're open about your wants and desires, that's the goal, right? Your needs and wants may not always match up but if you can vocalize them you can decide on an appropriate action.”

Content Warnings

Book of the Little Axe

Lauren Francis-Sharma

4.0

adventurous challenging emotional informative reflective slow-paced

Plot or Character Driven: Character

Strong character development: Yes

Loveable characters: Complicated

Diverse cast of characters: Yes

Flaws of characters a main focus: Complicated

I don't really want to tell you how long ago I got this book as an ARC from NetGalley. It's embarrassing. I also don't want to tell you that the only reason I finally picked it up was because I saw it at one of my local library's "Friends" book sales and it jogged it back to the top of my memory. But...here we are and honesty has won out, so now you know. But I'm going to go with a "better late than never" vibe on this, because really, that's all I've got left going for me.

Book of the Little Axe is told in two primary times/settings. The novel opens in 1830 with Victor, son of a Trinidadian woman and a Crow chief, in Bighorn, Montana. Victor is coming of age and trying to figure out his place in the world as a mixed race son, split between two cultures. As he is set to go through his transition into adulthood, he is stymied by the secrets of this past that his mother has kept from him. The second begins in 1796 in Trinidad, and we are introduced to Rosa Rendón (Victor's mother) as a young child, and her years growing up with her family in Trinidad, where she refused to conform to the natural path of womanhood (cooking and keeping house), preferring instead to work the land and raise/care for the horses. Both time periods are threaded through with the violence against women (and Black women in particular) inherent in the Western hemisphere. And these stories are given additional framework by a third voice, that of Creadon Rampley, a trapper and guide, whose travels across the Western states and Trinidad brings him into both Rosa and Victor's lives.

Well, this was sweeping. The writing is superb, and the atmosphere and sense of place are just stunning. The open and wild spaces of the "big sky country," and the land and voices of Trinidad, just came alive. The narration of all three perspectives were also so individual and brought such a strong, distinct presence to the page, fully fleshed out on their own and in conjunction with each other. There is a simmering intensity to the story that you mostly miss while reading, (because, if I'm being really honest, it felt like quite a slow read that I felt sort of un-invested in, in the moment, until I reached the final third...and I don't know if I would have gotten to that point without the audiobook to more me forwards). But, after finishing, I realized how heavy it was sitting with me; how weighed down I became throughout these characters' journeys and how much they did, in fact, affect me.

I found the settings to be really fascinating, both alone and in combination. This is a time period that I have not read a lot of historical fiction set within (in all fairness, I only intermittently read historical fiction, so there's that), and so I absolutely had never considered the way these places/peoples might overlap and interact. I learned a lot about the transition of imperial powers in Trinidad (from Spanish to English colonizers) and the way that affected the lives of people living there, especially Black people. But even in the West/Midwest, which I do have a bit more knowledge of (if only whatever limited POVs were covered in school in history classes), this book did an absolutely fabulous job highlighting the confluence of identities that are separately suppressed, and all but unknown combined. There was an intermingling of historical Black and Native and mixed voices, a critical and educational addition to historical fiction narratives. And these were given even greater context with the inclusion of Rampley's perspective, as he learns (with the reader alongside him), that even with how much was stacked against him (and the violence he too experienced), he was still in a place of greater privilege that Rosa.

That's a thing that really stuck out to me throughout this read, actually, the pervasiveness of the casual violence across this historical fiction. It was intense and horrifying when you consider it, but was woven so smoothly in as each character took it more or less "in stride." It really makes one consider how the violence in our present day is considered and taken in that same stride, and how readers will see it when it too becomes historical fiction. Ooof. Other themes that held throughout were an interrogation of "who are your people and where is your home" and if can you belong to more than one people/community fully, or if being split between automatically makes you less of each. There was also a strong look at what makes a family, blood or those who have your best interests at heart, if they are not one and the same. Francis-Sharma also explores the harsh truths of what a person must do to survive (including what they’ll willingly overlook or misunderstand), and what kind of people can afford to have greater principles in the face of hardship/struggle/survival.

While the blurb makes it seem like this novel is all about Rosa, And I suppose it does follow her and/or the people most closely related to her, I found this to be more of a full cast sort of reading experience. And I liked that, honestly, because it provided a much wider context in which I could experience this new period and time of history. I feel like I got a fuller sense of culture and tradition and reality with the wider range of narrative perspectives. Although this was a slower read, so I would caution prospective readers to be aware of that, it was rich and deeply imagined. The way Rosa's life unfolded, along with those around her, provided a lot of background, and awareness of lesser known aspects of, the breadth African diaspora...and the way that interacted with indigenous (and similarly displaced/colonized) peoples as well. A fascinating and educational read that, while I may not have been ready for (pacing/attention-wise), I nevertheless, objectively, truly appreciated.

“She told him that choosing to live is not the same as being scared to die.”

“It is not fair, but this is the way it is, until it is not.”

“Another era would have made no difference, for it seemed no mother in the span of humanity could accept responsibility for inflicting harm on her child when she believed her intent was honorable.”

“Seems your own homeland always feels better in your heart, even if the beauty is bout the same as where you standin.”

"'Spoiled' is what men called girls whose disobediences they secretly enjoyed. [...] 'Behave' is what men said to girls whose 'spoiled' begins to embarrass them."

“That was how it always happens. Thinkin men is men when sometimes its just evil lookin like a man.”

"I aint never birth my own dream. I dont know if anybody every had a dream of his own. I think we go about livin life lookin forward aith other people's eyes. Like maybe shared dreams is what makes us human."

“Victor felt they had nothing between them but words. But perhaps that's all there ever was between people - good words, hurtful words, silent words.”

Content Warnings

From Bad to Cursed

Lana Harper

4.0

adventurous lighthearted mysterious fast-paced

Plot or Character Driven: A mix

Strong character development: Yes

Loveable characters: Yes

Diverse cast of characters: Yes

Flaws of characters a main focus: Complicated

“End of the day, we’re all living beings, right? And everything alive just wants to feel like they’re not in this alone.”

I read Payback’s a Witch, the first book in the Witches of Thistle Grove romance series, last year right around this time. And honestly, I loved it. So much fun. So much magic. So much bisexual lady love and a solid side of joined-together-in-righteous-vengeance female power. So, this next one has been on my “ready for another romance read” shortlist. With the very busy lead up to the Holidays (working education-adjacent during this time of year is…intense), I needed this to keep me grounded/distracted. And it was just right for that.

From Bad to Cursed focuses on Isadora Avramov (Talia’s younger sister), widely known as a powerful witch of the darker Avramov style, leaning into the evil-sorceress projection with her thrill seeking and demon summoning and overall vibe. When very dark, very dangerous magic threatens Thistle Grove’s Beltane celebrations, targeting the green/nature magic Thorn family, the Avramov’s are the obvious suspects. But they know their family didn’t do this. So, Isadora (as Avramov representative) and Rowan Thorn (Thorn representative, and all around frustratingly rule-following, “too good” guy), are tasked with tracking down the truth. And though their families have long been at loggerheads and Issa and Rowan have been each other’s archenemy for years, they realize, after spending so much time together, that they each were a bit blinded by history and assumptions and might, in fact, not hate each other at all.

Will I ever have enough of magic witchy romances? Unlikely. And while I have to be honest tell you that I was a bigger fan of Payback’s a Witch than this one, I also have to say that I sped right through and thoroughly enjoyed this. First, Thistle Grove remains a place that I wish I could live. It was so much its own character in the first book and I was thrilled that it continued to get developed here. Reading about the details of swearing on Lady’s Lake, First Dew ceremony, all the preparation for Beltane, the details of the Emporium and Honeycake Orchards…it was all wonderful. I love the sense of place (and if you are a GG fan, you’ll maybe notice some Stars Hollow vibes that you’ll really like). I was also super into Issa’s vibe. That dark lace and intense self-assurance vibe (a la Wednesday Addams) is always one that I thought was really cool and a bit too out of reach for me personally…so as such, the characters that have it in spades always tend to be my favorites.

As far as the romance, obviously an important piece of the plot, the grudging romance was really well done. Neither Issa nor Rowan wanted it to be happening, but the physical attraction/connection was strong enough that they tried harder than they otherwise might have to see each other’s perspectives, which opened them up to realizing they may have had some misconceptions about each other. Plus, the time they were forced to spend together was enough that their “true personalities” were given space to shine (no one can act that thoroughly). So, yea, it developed well. And the sexual tension was fantastic. The few kisses and steamy scenes were nicely written. I’m not sure that I’m totally bought into them being successful long term…however, the end made it clear both were willing to put in the effort to keep evolving, so I’ll take it. The mystery aspects of the plot were good too. It was enough of a framework, their sleuthing, to be believable without taking over. And the way the small clues scattered throughout came together in the end was smoothly done. I thought the culprit was perhaps an easy out, but the way it played out did fit the facts and situation, so I’m accepting it.

Harper tried to add in a few deeper elements, like Issa’s mental health and her dreams/goals that didn’t line up with family expectations, as well as the prejudice pieces (racial and magical). In the end, it felt more like a good try that a successful attempt, used more as plot devices than developed in their own right with any real depth. It wasn’t (IMO) done so poorly as to be offensive, but it just was surface-level and, even though it shouldn’t have felt this way because they were all legit issues, seemed somewhat contrived. Anyways, nothing bad, necessarily, just some “could have been better” things.

This was the magical, entertaining romance (with a surprise side of light mystery) that I wanted it to be. Nothing profound, and not a new fav as the first book was, but absolutely the romantic escapism with a side of enchantment (literal and figurative) that I was hoping for. A great follow-up and I am back to looking forward to more from Thistle Grove!

Content Warnings

A Psalm for the Wild-Built

Becky Chambers

4.0

adventurous hopeful inspiring lighthearted fast-paced

Plot or Character Driven: A mix

Strong character development: Yes

Loveable characters: Yes

Diverse cast of characters: Yes

Flaws of characters a main focus: No

After the Wayfarers Series (The Long Way to a Small, Angry Planet, A Closed and Common Orbit, Record of a Spaceborn Few, and The Galaxy, and the Ground Within) catapulted itself onto the list of my favorite series ever, I have been Team Auto-Buy/Read anything Becky Chambers writes. Although I know this one came out last year (and the next in the series is already published), I'm just now getting around to reading it. I've had it on my shelf since last year, and you would think its small size would have made it easier to pick up at any time, but I think I just kept waiting for the perfect cozy moment to read it. Now that I've finally read it, it's clear that it creates its own cozy moment, and doesn't need to wait for one to pop up. All that to say, Chambers remains firmly ensconced on my "favorite authors" list after finishing this one.

A Psalm for the Wild-Built is narrated by Sibling Dex, a human whose vocation is a tea monk, traveling the moon that they call home, dispensing personalized teas that help ease the emotional burdens of the citizens of Panga. Although they love their vocation, they are also struggling with a bit of a crisis of their own, and decide to make a pilgrimage to an old, remote monastery, to see if that will ease their sense of ennui. Along the journey, Dex crosses paths with a robot, Mosscap, in a meeting that takes them very much by surprise as robots haven't been seen in generations (not since they gained sentience and left for the wilds). Mosscap's mission, as it were, is to reconnect with the humans and find out what they need, which is a question Dex can barely answer for themself, much less all of humanity on Panga.

Well, I'd heard this was a real feel-good, cozy-cup-of-tea-style read, and my goodness was that ever accurate. Not least because there are actually quite a lot of heart-warming tea-related scenes. I was absolutely charmed by both Sibling Dex and Mosscap, their interactions with each other were of that classic foundational theme of peoples/species unknown to each other feeling out and learning the other, in this case with an incredibly wholesome vibe. Chambers just has this gift for distilling into words the uniqueness and intangibles of being human...even when the characters in question are not always human themselves, there is a recognizability in the "humanity" of them all. And overall there was just a gorgeous symmetry in the framework of the story, from Dex feeling overwhelmed by the breadth of their work as a tea monk to Mosscap feeling unable to do his job (for all humans), yet the effort in trying, the act of simply being there, the greater meaning born out of working in combination, is what makes all the difference in the end, and that’s such a beautiful message.

I also loved the way that nature, both the natural world and the nature of things, was featured throughout. This was a sort of meditation on the paradoxes of nature and the beauty in nature retaking remnants/structures of the past. Chambers includes a soft lesson for humans about the importance of being careful not to take things too far, in a number of ways. There is a comforting acceptance throughout of the way that sometimes, no matter how perfect one’s surroundings or objectively "happy" one is with their life, one can still be dissatisfied/restless or yearn for change/difference and that’s ok. Chambers also writes about agency, the way that it is both to not be forced to do something and to choose to do something by their own wishes - a nuanced, but thought-provoking distinction.

This entire novella was written with the sort of precision detail that is comforting in how important each small piece is made to be, that "everything in its place feeling." There is a focus on the healing inherent in simply making a space respected for healing, which was so powerful. And I finished reading this just full of a sense of gratitude, goodwill and relaxation.

“But then, humans had a knack for throwing things out of balance.”

“The homes were like trees themselves in that regard – unmistakably part of a specific visual category, yet each an individual unto itself.”

“We don’t have to fall into the same category to be of equal value.”

Everybody thinks they’re the exception to the rule, and that’s exactly where the trouble starts. One person can do a lot of damage.”

“So, the paradox is that the ecosystem as a whole needs its participants to act with restraint in order to avoid collapse, but the participants themselves have no inbuilt mechanism to encourage such behavior.”

“Its only legacy was to exist where it did not belong.”

“Still. Something is missing. Something is off. So, how fucking spoiled am I, then? How fucking broken? What is wrong with me that I can have everything I could ever want and have ever asked for and still wake up in the morning feeling like every day is a slog?”

“You keep asking why your work is not enough, and I don’t know how to answer that, because it is not enough to exist in the world and marvel in it. You don’t need to justify that, or earn it. You are allowed to just live.”

“And I’m saying that I think you are mistaking something learned for something instinctual.”

A Taste of Gold and Iron

Alexandra Rowland

4.0

adventurous emotional mysterious medium-paced

Plot or Character Driven: A mix

Strong character development: Yes

Loveable characters: Yes

Diverse cast of characters: Yes

Flaws of characters a main focus: No

This one came across my radar through one of my many book-related listservs that I'm on. I honestly cannot remember which one now, but I do know that the theme was along the lines of "upcoming steamy fantasy reads." And I am a sucker for those. Plus, sometimes I really do want a standalone adventure, which this promised as well. After a fairly long wait at the library, it was finally my turn!

Kadou is the younger brother of the Queen, quite happy to not be in a leadership position of that caliber himself, but also not entirely sure what his place should be (and his efforts to reflect well on his sister cause him a *lot* of anxiety). When a "misunderstanding" with the body-father of the Queen's new baby leads to a tragedy, Kadou scrambles to re-prove his loyalty. Along with his newly appointed bodyguard, Evemer, he takes lead on investigating a recent break-in at one of the nation's guilds, and its connection to a recent spate of counterfeit coins. As they get closer to uncovering a deeply-run conspiracy, Kadou and Evemer realize that their connection to each other may run more deeply than either expected it would as well. But there are quite a few barriers at play that could keep them apart, in particular the social structures that dictate their stations and roles, plus their individual nerves/personalities that might prevent them from sharing their true feelings with each other (even though their actions speak loudly).

Well, Rowland wrote a truly wonderful standalone fantasy. The socio-cultural details in the world-building are stellar. I love the feminist vibes that come through the matriarchal claim to the child (and father being just a body-father if there's not a marriage behind it). What a way to give power to the people bearing the actual child (from whom it’s traditionally taken). And the easy acceptance of beyond-the-binary genders and a variety of sexual orientations is a scifi-fantasy trend that I will always support. I was also fascinated by the bodyguard social station, for lack of a better description, which sets them as a person that not only bodily protects their charge, but does many of the jobs that a valet would do as well, plus others. It's like an all-in-one prestige role, with a heavy reciprocal expectation of respect and honor from the royal person being "served," that is ingrained into the society in a way that protects that bodyguard's loyalty from being taken advantage of. Overall, I thought that Rowland did a nice job handling the romance here, considering the potential "icky" feels that can come from a romance with such wildly different stations and power dynamics.

Speaking of the romance... This was an excruciating slow burn. Despite the fact that I thought some of the base-explanation reasons for the changing feelings of Evemer and Kadou toward each other were perhaps a bit flimsy (they came in with some very strong preconceptions that I felt could have used a little more depth in being disproved), once I decided to go ahead and buy into them, I was fully invested in them getting together and the tension between them was drawn out to *perfection.* I sensed a bit of fanfic style in the writing, just FYI if that's your thing or not. But anyways, it was smooth and smart and agonizing in how badly I wanted Kadow and Evemer together when it finally happened (the earnest and stoic “opposites” they embodied felt like a great match). Two notes here. One: that kiss in the alley had me *feeling things.* Two: while the romantic/sexual tension was spectacular, the pay-off was less explicit (until one scee right at the end) than I had hoped for. And there are plot-based reasons why, but still. I had expected a bit more open door spiciness across the board.

And beyond the romance, the political intrigue and conspiracy plot that gave the romance a story-framework were well developed. The complexity of the details and the way it played out reminded me a bit of a favorite from last year, Winter's Orbit, though obviously more fantasy than sci-fi here. But the vibes were so similar, and I had on par connections with each m/m romance pairing in the given setting...which is to say, I couldn't (can't) stop thinking about them. I'd be remiss if I didn't mention Tadek as a primary side character. He added depth to both Kadou and Evemer as characters, plus some needed humor and "shake-it-up" vibes to the overall story. Finally, Kadou had some very serious anxiety issues and panic attack-like moments. Be aware that it could be triggering, and in the context of this world he thinks of it as "cowardice." While both Tadek and Evemer were wonderfully supportive about it, which was great, and no one ever disparages Kadou for it, there was also no real attempt to treat or reframe it, which would have been a nice addition.

In the end, Kadou and Evemer dug themselves into my heart. The “the future is still coming but we’ll face it together and for now enjoy each other, but with a plan/responsibly-ish” way it ended was perfect for them. And it left things both satisfyingly wrapped-up and hopefully open-ended in a way that is really fulfilling for a couple that you are rooting for. And like I said, the scheming plot gave high drama and lots of action/adventure, which alongside the slow burn romance development, had me emotionally on the edge of my seat for the duration of the reading experience. This one hit the spot.

“A life was a terrifying burden to carry.”

“Reciprocity was a thing you had to learn. Someone had to tell you, first, that you deserved to be treated well, before you knew it for yourself.”

“The presence of a stone wall makes the open parts of the field that it surrounds more meaningful.”

“That was reciprocity - reaching out your hand in the dark, offering it, and hoping someone reached back.”

Content Warnings

Counterfeit

Kirstin Chen

3.0

adventurous lighthearted mysterious fast-paced

Plot or Character Driven: A mix

Strong character development: Complicated

Loveable characters: Complicated

Diverse cast of characters: Yes

Flaws of characters a main focus: No

The combination of this cover and the vibes of the book made me think this was going to be a cross between Portrait of a Thief and the Crazy Rich Asians series, both of which I found pretty entertaining, solid reads, so I had this one on my shortlist when I was next looking for a lighter/fun type read. And with a lot of driving for work to close out the year, and access to the ALC for this from Libro.fm, the time for a "keeps your attention and doesn't require too much mental investment" read was nigh.

Ava Wong is a little stuck in life right now, having taken a long break from her high key job as a lawyer to raise her young son, who is struggling through a period of major temper tantrums, while her husband works long hours as a surgeon. When an old college friend, Winnie Fang re-enters her life, with a proposition to get involved in her luxury handbags counterfeit scheme. Winnie is looking for help from someone like Ava, who can travel back and forth to China with her US-passport and fly under the radar. Though Ava originally balks at the illegal activity, she finds herself in a tough spot and ends up taking the plunge. This partnership takes some major leaps, unexpected turns, and offers some comically insightful commentary on the production and economics of these designer handbags and the way Asian/Asian-American women are viewed in the world.

Well, this was the entertaining read I was looking for! I personally have no earthly idea about luxury handbags or any other designer sh*t , so all of the details and specifics about the products themselves went mostly over my head. I just accepted it as "that's fancy, got it" and moved on. Haha. That being said, that did nothing to dampen my overall enjoyment of the read. It opened with Ava essentially giving evidence to, being interviewed by, detectives about Winnie (who seems to have fled the country) about how she got trapped in this scheme (listening to her describe it is like watching a "can't tear your eyes away" accident situation) - getting in over her head and not knowing how to get out without damaging her family. An interesting narrative device, to be sure.

The way Ava tells it in this first part, this is a manipulative (charming and ruthless) level of “friendship,” in the vein of Wahala and Tangerine. There is also a definite vibe, throughout, that Ava's narration is not entirely reliable...and I do love an unreliable narrator, so I was very interested to see where that vibe went. And then we get to part two, which flips everything Ava was saying on its head (as I was hoping!). It's cunning and creative and takes advantage of so many widely held (in the Western world) Asian/Asian-American women stereotypes, reclaiming them for their own benefit. I don't want to say too much, so as not to give away the "twist," as it were. But suffice it to say that I was here for it, this take on the glorified "mobster" mentality/stereotype with a wry and feminine twist, was a great vibe.

There was also some present, if light, recognition of the dark side of these luxury items, highlighting the horrific working conditions of the international factories where these handbags are made. I actually really appreciated the interrogation of what makes one of these bags "authentic" versus "fake," if both are being produced in side-by-side factories owned by the same conglomerates. And the mark-ups?! Unbelievable. For essentially the exact same product! Anyways, like I said, not a super deep look at these issues, but a recognition and awareness of their presence/role in the industry at least. There was also a look at the ridiculous expectations on parents of young children, and the anxiety-producing competitiveness for kids as young as pe-school aged - yeeeeesh, count that among the many reasons I don't plan to parent. It was horrible to read about.

If you're looking for something not too deep, fairly fun, a bit unexpected, with a snarky "darker side of feminism" vibe that gives a truly diverting reading experience, this is a solid choice.

Content Warnings

The Immortal King Rao

Vauhini Vara

4.0

challenging mysterious reflective slow-paced

Plot or Character Driven: A mix

Strong character development: Yes

Loveable characters: Complicated

Diverse cast of characters: Yes

Flaws of characters a main focus: Complicated

I had never heard of this one, had no idea what it was about, when I saw it as one of the free ARCs that the library sometimes receives, out on the break table as a first come, first served situation. The title intrigued me, so I looked up a quick blurb, and it caught my fancy enough for me to decide to give it a go. (Fun side story: I was taking the book photo for this one while at a bar and, while my friends/partner usually make fun of me and yelling “nerd” when I do that, this time completely strangers were giggling and asking me if this was “for proof that I actually read the book.” My coolness vibe grows on the daily, y’all. Haha.)

King Rao is born in the 1950s in rural India, growing up on a coconut farm run by his Dalit family. Through luck and passion and the randomness of fate, King Rao becomes the CEO of the largest tech firm in the world, later ascending to be the leader of the “Board,” the corporate-like ruling body of a speculative near-future. Athena is King Rao’s daughter, having been raised by him alone after his fall from grace, she runs away and joins a group of dissenters, where she struggles to come to terms with the man who raised her and the legacy he’s left on the world.

This is a speculative novel unlike any I have read before. It took the tech revolution of the 80s and charted a course of progress so similar to our present day that it’s almost hard to tell a difference, while adding a few key elements that make the world Athena is left with *just* different enough from ours to be considered dystopian. (Though, an important point here, is that with how familiar it feels, perhaps we need to examine the borderline dystopia were actually have…) Reading that the author is a former tech reporter for the Wall Street Journal honestly comes as no surprise, based on the plot and events of this book. She has a keen eye for historical/contemporary patterns and sector interweaving (climate change, social justice, tech advancements, bodily autonomy/land rights, corporate oversight/power to name a few), which I can only assume is due to her journalism background, and it’s incredibly impressive in its depth and breadth.

As far as the writing itself, it’s an interesting and unique narrative voice: King Rao’s child, Athena. Some of it is her own experiences and reflections, but it’s mixed in with her father’s story. And not just the story he told her of his life, as would be the case for most child narrators, but rather (due to the sci-fi tech aspects) in her interpretation of the events he actually experienced, as he was able to pass his exact memories on to her directly. It bounces between storytelling of King Rao’s past and Athena’s own recent experiences, and her current reflections on her incarceration situation. There is a considerable monologue-style, along with direct addressing of commentary to the reader as well. It honestly took me some time to get into the flow of the story, to understand who the MC is, at what point during the unfolding of events (past or further past or present) we are, and to acclimatize to the speculative but deeply familiar present/close future world that is the setting (especially the tech/biotech, as it uses terminology and theory based in reality, but takes it all a step further than we are currently at, in a classic sci-fi way). It was good and by the end I appreciated what Vara was had created, but it was also dense and slightly difficult going for a while. I was glad to have gotten the audiobook from the library to help me through it.

As I said, Vara managed to include quite a few themes and hot topics in this novel, in a way that could have felt like too much, if not for the smooth way she pulled all the patterns and pieces together so that nothing was lost. This tale of King Rao, an interwoven story of a young Dalit/untouchable child growing up in his homeland, his journey to America to study and make something bigger for himself, and the eventuality that he went so big that perhaps it was too far, was sweeping and ambitious, but for the most part, successful. There was great insight into the reality of shallow living and dissatisfaction of late stage capitalism, and how we have (and are in danger of bringing ourselves down completely by continuing to) gaslighted ourselves into believing it that we’re fine within that framework, both personally and as a wider society. Vara’s exemplification of the [potential] dangers of too much private sector replacing government, because their financing and infrastructure is better, in lieu of investing in better government funding is very affecting.

Finally, though I have to say I am not totally sure how the ending was meant to be interpreted (it felt open and malleable similarly to El Akkad’s What Strange Paradise), I thought the closing paragraphs were an epic interrogation of all our grasps at immortality and deeper purpose was great. Vara explicitly questions whether anything means more than itself, whether, in fact, there is no nothing past the surface and our search for legacy will always end empty.

This was such a smart story, with complex and nuanced layers, and as I’ve said, a really singular take of technological speculative fiction. I really want to say that it’s an important cautionary tale, but for the fact that it seemed so real/likely that it moved past cautionary future into the realm of present (slightly distorted) reflection...like the glass in old windows. A fascinating read, though one that does require effort from the reader to keep up with.

“The best anyone can do is to put enough goodness into the world to make up for the badness you've put into it.”

“That is to say, our extraordinariness has to do with what we've accomplished together; our defining characteristic is being able to pass something of our lived experience from one human to another, thus ensuring our advancement as a species.”

“Existence is change.”

“There is a kind of action that resembles inaction, and it is the kind on which all of society is founded.”

“Our people have become so excellent at conquering that we have succeeded in conquering even ourselves. Time's up.”

Content Warnings

Paris Daillencourt Is About to Crumble

Alexis Hall

4.0

emotional funny lighthearted reflective fast-paced

Plot or Character Driven: A mix

Strong character development: Yes

Loveable characters: Yes

Diverse cast of characters: Yes

Flaws of characters a main focus: Complicated

I think I'm just basically at the point where I'll read whatever new thing Alexis Hall writes. I mean I know I'm behind by a couple, but the point it, everything has been amazinggggg. Now, my clear favorite so far is A Lady for a Duke, but I haven't read anything I haven't liked. I wasn't sure about the first one in this series (Rosaline Palmer Takes the Cake), tbh, because I just don't get the baking show hype. But it turned out that I loved it - at least in part but definitely not as the only reason - because the MC felt super relatable to me. Anyways, between that surprise interest and the stunning cover on this second one, I grabbed it as my recent Holiday weekend relaxing romance read.

The book brings us into the next season of Bake Expectations. Paris Daillencourt was entered by his roommate to push him out of his box (and maybe into making friends and actually believing in himself a bit). Tariq Hassan is, confidence-wise and stylistically, the exact opposite of Paris, hoping to use his time on the show to start a B-list celebrity career. Despite an inauspicious first interaction, the two start dating. However, Paris' anxieties over everything (the baking and the dating) ending in failure may, in fact, cause them to end in failure. Plus, Tariq is perhaps expecting things that Paris is not (yet) able to provide, no matter how much he thinks otherwise. And then, of course, there is the stress and pressure of Bake Expectations itself...and the social media storm that inevitably begins once the episodes begin airing. The question is, can Paris figure out how to quiet his brain and find his confidence in time to realize that he really does deserve the good things in his life, and save them?

Oh well it was fun to get back into the host/judge/director characters of Bake Expectations. I had forgotten how real they were. I mean, I know I said I don't really "get" the cooking show craze, but it's almost impossible to not have seen at least parts of episodes, so I know what they're structured like, and Hall really brings this "cast" to life. Their personalities came back quickly as a started reading this and it was a fun "oh yea!" reader feeling. It was also wonderful to slip back into Hall's writing. His hilarious and smart sarcasm, phenomenal dialogue, and overall quick and witty writing continues to be an absolute favorite.

On this note, the way he writes specifically, in this case, Paris' internal anxiety monologue feels, in my experience, like a very honest representation. I do not have a diagnosed anxiety disorder, but the thought patterns Paris deals with do show themselves, in a slightly less intrusive-to-real-life-interactions but no less recognizable way, for me. All that to say that, on top of the rest of the familiarly fantastic Hall writing, this is a very viscerally real experience reading about anxiety (and panic attacks. Please note the many trigger warnings that come with that viscerality. I also want to note the fully dimensional way anxiety is addressed: internally (and externally) by the person dealing with it, with friends trying to help (thinking they can help) and maybe not always doing the right thing, coming to the point where not getting help becomes more damaging to relationships than having the mental illness in the first place, and the fight against internalized negative mental health stigma and the need to get past the voice in your head saying you deserve to always feel this shitty, versus accepting that it doesn’t have to be that way and finally getting help. Plus, the recognition that it's not a quick fix, and that it takes a lot of work, but that it is worth it - you are worth it and your future is worth it - was lovely.

One thing about this book that was particularly different from any of Hall's others (that I've read so far) is the lack of explicit, on-page, steamy scenes. This is not because he suddenly changed to writing "fade to black" romance, but rather because Tariq is very open in talking about, in accordance with his faith, he does not believe in sex before marriage. There are some wonderful kissing scenes, of course, but for the most part, this is a very emotional-growth-and-connection type romance. I didn't know that going it, so it was not what I expected, which is too bad because that's an expectations versus reality that doesn't at all reflect on the actual story/writing, but did affect how much I was into the story. Basically, it wasn't less quintessentially "romance" because of that, but I wish I had known going in. I do want to note though, that Hall's head-on addressing of the conflicts of religion and the queer community, the either/or reality that they're come to represent, was great conversation. Tariq's conviction in the fact that being Muslim and being gay are both key aspects of who he is, and absolutely can exist in harmony within himself, is beautiful. And an open-mindedness about identity that would be lovely to see in a more widespread way.

Interestingly, because this was told from Paris' POV, which was (naturally) very self-focused and centralized due to his anxiety, the way his brain twists and takes things over, this felt like the most underdeveloped set of characters that I've read in one of Hall's books. There was still an array of other characters (Tariq's family and roomies, the other contestants, Paris' roommate), they just felt much more like props in this book. However, in thinking about it more, and considering the perspective of the MC, it actually does make sense that they'd feel less real, since it wasn't until the end that Paris was able to step outside his own thought spirals at all.

Overall, Paris Daillencourt Is About to Crumble felt, to me, very different than Hall's previous works, yet in many ways it was just the same and I fell comfortably back into it. A strange combination of feelings to be left with, but in the end, a very affecting and engrossing romance. I definitely appreciate Hall's writing through this one, and I think, with a more clear set of expectations going in (which hopefully this review will give you), right up there with the rest of his books.

“Because how could you tell whether you wanted something or just thought someone else would want you to want it?”

“Because he could just about imagine a world in which Tariq was right and whatever had turned Paris into the useless sack of shit he was today was a medical thing he couldn’t control. But it also felt like a massive cop-out: like he was appropriating a serious condition that other people had to justify his crappy behaviour.”

“And right then, for as long as it lasted, for as long as they were touching, Paris, too, felt loved and free, and part of something beautiful.”

“…but in baking, as in life, sometimes not enough felt like too much, and sometimes too much didn’t feel like enough.”

“Trying something until it was perfect was the same as not doing it at all, because perfection was just a ghost he conjured up to scare himself with.”

“It felt like a moment to bask in, but it also felt like a moment not to be complacent. And a moment to be reflecting and regretting and hoping because apparently, it was possible to do all those things at once when fear wasn’t flooding your body with the useless kind of adrenaline.”

Content Warnings

More...