I was pretty excited to receive an ARC of this historical fantasy/folklore retelling from NetGalley (thanks to the publisher, St. Martin's Press). This particular genre mash-up is one of my favorites, in general, and especially, as in this case, when it introduces me to a mythology that I didn't previously know about. You know that as soon as I finished I went and looked up the variations of the "original" tale of Xishi, to see how this compared to the common telling(s). I love that for me. Anyhoo, my review follows.  

 

Shoutout to Goodreads for saving me from writing all my own blurbs: "Xishi’s beauty is seen as a blessing to the villagers of Yue—convinced that the best fate for a girl is to marry well and support her family. When Xishi draws the attention of the famous young military advisor, Fanli, he presents her with a rare opportunity: to use her beauty as a weapon. One that could topple the rival neighboring kingdom of Wu, improve the lives of her people, and avenge her sister’s murder. All she has to do is infiltrate the enemy palace as a spy, seduce their immoral king, and weaken them from within. Trained by Fanli in everything from classical instruments to concealing emotion, Xishi hones her beauty into the perfect blade. But she knows Fanli can see through every deception she masters, the attraction between them burning away any falsehoods. Once inside the enemy palace, Xishi finds herself under the hungry gaze of the king’s advisors while the king himself shows her great affection. Despite his gentleness, a brutality lurks and Xishi knows she can never let her guard down. But the higher Xishi climbs in the Wu court, the farther she and Fanli have to fall—and if she is unmasked as a traitor, she will bring both kingdoms down." 

 

Y'all, this was so good. It had all the vibes of epic historical fantasy: the world-building was fantastic (I mean, it's historical fiction as a base, so real life, but the setting/time period was brought to life spectacularly), the character development was fully dimensional and nuanced (for Xishi and Fanli, of course, but also for some of our accessory characters, like Xishi's friend/fellow agent Zhengdan and the king of Wu, Fuchai), and the storytelling flowed and was paced so smoothly. It's a slower development, but never drags. The focus on the interpersonal relationship developments, the small nuances of political machinations and playing the long game, but with all the just-under-the-surface simmering tensions that come with "spy" style infiltration stories, is done with precision and skill. And the descriptions and dialogue have a beauty and rhythm to them that is really artistic. Together, it made this a really compelling read, despite the more steady forward movement. And then, as the whole novel builds to the moment of betrayal, when it finally comes, it is - realistically - over in almost the blink of an eye. The mark of a well-planned plot (both literally and literar-ily). And those final lines though; I actually deep sighed at reading them. Just...overall, the writing and narrative are stunning. 

 

Very importantly, the slowwwwww burn - like, the slowest of burns - between Xishi and Fanli was everything. And then their separation...excruciating! The just-barely-but-not-fully-possible of their feelings/love is written so well. Oh, my heart. And it had all the hallmarks of great historical romance (light touches, stolen glances, etc.) that are so hot, for the depth of connection/feeling they're communicating, for all that the interactions themselves are so slight. Phew.  And then, this mythology did not get a "happier" ending in its retelling! I mean, let me just say, I totally respect the author for adhering to the harder version of the original, while also including an explanation for how an alternate version might also have spread (as I said, I researched while reading this and learned about the two primary ways people say this legend ended). But also, the tragedy. My heart broke to know that the foreshadowing of doom was not just a device. And after all that pining and waiting, too! I weep, I mourn the lost love. And a pox on the hardness of men with ambition they value over all else. 

 

Thematically, Liang really dives into the cycle of war and revenge; how, at the end of the day, it's all about the honor/glory of a few men. And other than that, all the cycle does is wound and devastate on both sides, with the “regular” people paying the price(s). As Xishi spends more time in the Wu kingdom, she really starts to see how the people themselves have more in common with each other than with the leaders who use them to carry out battles and plots for their own gain. These everyday people on both sides who are just trying to live their lives, but are blinded by the propaganda of blame that then fabricates further tragedy. And yet, they cannot see that forest through the trees until, as we see with Xishi, they are given a chance to spend time with each other. Oooof what a demonstration of a universally horrific concept. Liang even does a fantastic job humanizing the leaders themselves, showing how even within the ranks of power, there are a few calling the shots and the rest holding on for dear life/reputation. The way Xishi's relationship with Fuchai develops is gorgeous with that insight and complexity. His own search for connection and meaning doesn't excuse his actions/choices, but it does add layers to his humanity that creates some really fantastic depth and nuance around a character that could easily have been one-dimensional. And it culminates impressively, at the end, with Fuchai's final request of Xishi. The conflict of her lifelong hate/grudge and the reality of his person (as opposed to the specter of him) is too good. It's heart wrenching. It’s quite literally all the feels. 

 

I was blown away by this novel. I haven't read anything by Liang before, but knowing this is her first adult novel, and first historical novel, I am just...wow. I loved it. I hope we get more (fingers crossed: I mean, there are Four Beauties of Ancient China, after all) because it was that good. 

 

“…my beauty was something unnatural, transcending nature itself. And that beauty is not so different from destruction.” 

 

“Then again, perhaps there could be no normal children raised in an age of war.” 

 

“When it came down to it, the choice was this: a kingdom, or my happiness. And how many people under Heaven were really fortunate enough to know happiness?” 

 

“In a world where everyone will demand something from you, it requires a certain degree of selfishness to be happy, you know.”  

 

“A feeling expanded in my chest then, like an eagle spreading its wings for the first time. Power.” 

 

“They assumed their money protected them from everything. The ultimate injustice was that sometimes it did.” 

 

“What better way to show that you took another person’s power seriously than to suffer for their sake?” 

 

“In reality we were just two mortals, bound by our respective roles in history, and whatever flickered between us felt so terribly fragile compared to the immovable weight of mountains, of kingdoms, of war.” 

 

“One cannot save the world and live in peace. That’s not how these things work.” 

 

“How many women throughout history were blamed for the weaknesses of men? We made such convenient scapegoats. We were raised to be small, to be silent, to take whatever we were given and no more.” 

 

“Love is a knife; it cuts both ways.” 

 

“It was a reversal of the popular stories passed among the villagers. The beautiful girl with blood under her nails, who did not need saving from danger but was instead the danger itself.” 

 

“Time to speak, to drop our pretenses, to ask how he was. I would not have been so happy even if he’d single-handedly plucked the moon out of the sky for me, if he’d woven me a necklace made of all the stars in the heavens.” 

 

“…I might have called it beautiful. Beautiful not in the way of a painting or poetry, but a natural disaster: a storm, or a falling comet.” 

 

“What is home, if not you?” 

 

“Just as the ocean tides ebb and flow beneath the moon, empires will rise and collapse, wars will start and cease, and the rest of us will be left to struggle against the currents.” 

 

“He smiles, and the fog lifts.” 

 

I knew, when I finally picked this up, that it would be something special. It's probably why I waited so long, full of apprehension that I'd be ready for everything I'd read/learn, and unsure I'd be able to accurately express my thoughts and reactions. I wasn't wrong. And yet, as I was reading and realized I was highlighting and bookmarking like, half of the book, that spelling out all I'd learned isn't the point of this review. I'm here to tell you that it's worth the read. It's a book anyone who works with young people, in schools, or has kids, should read. And I'll give a few highlights of what Morris covers, sure. But I'll also say that there is no way I can convey the depth of knowledge and research and information and recommendation/guidance it contains. You really do have to read the whole thing for yourself. 

 

First, a quick blurb courtesy of Goodreads, to give some context: "Just 16 percent of female students in the USA, Black girls make up more than one-third of all girls with a school-related arrest. The first book to tell these untold stories, Pushout exposes a world of confined potential and supports the growing movement to address the policies, practices, and cultural illiteracy that push countless students out of school and into unhealthy, unstable, and often unsafe futures." 

 

Now, to "review." Morris paints a vivid picture of how the criminalization of Black girls (and insofar as research is available and allows, Morris is inclusive in her definition of girl, and the spectrum with which gender can present) leads to their puhout from school/educational environments. Throughout the book, she addresses cultural norms/beliefs about Black girls actions and attitudes, poverty and socioeconomic concerns, sexual trafficking and exploitation, biases and school policies and arbitrary enforcement of said policies, unclear school-to-school/system-to-system regulations and communication, the general lack of unique focus given to Black girls (they're more often folded in to "girls" or "Black people" without acknowledging the intersectionality of race and gender), the compressing of Black girlhood and womanhood, low expectations and an allowance for failure, a lack of solid/healthy student-teacher relationships, and many other ways perception and historical context affect the way Black girls are treated in/around school. All of this is supported by and exemplified through research (statistics), case studies and interviews.   

 

However, Morris doesn't stop there. That is the majority of the book, and, to be quite honest, enraging. But Morris also takes the opportunity that the reader's fury creates, and provides a call to action, with suggestions for what one can do, or advocate for, to affect change on this social issue. She identifies six themes that emerged throughout her research that would allow for cultivation of higher quality and more beneficial learning environments for Black girls. These are: "(1) the protection of girls from violence and victimization in schools; (2) proactive discussions in schools about healthy intimate relationships; (3) strong student-teacher relationships; (4) school-based wraparound services; (5) an increased focus on student learning coupled with a reduced emphasis on discipline and surveillance; and (6) consistent school credit recovery processes between alternative schools and traditional district or community schools." And she provides concrete examples and recommendations to address each area (including a spectacular visual graphic bringing it all together for ease of reader intake; see p.193).  

 

Throughout this book, Morris presents all the experiences of the girls she interviews in exactly their words, with their perspectives and experiences central and forefront (as it should be). But she also allows that we, the adults and teachers and staff working with young people, are human. We are dealing with low resources and funding and time and our own biases and sometimes must make do with what we have, which is (when working in public health and education, especially) never enough. There is a recognition of that, which is important. And yet, that does not excuse us from, at the very least, making a constant and consistent effort to counteract those first reaction biases and doing whatever is within our "power" to advocate for change and policy updates to be more culturally inclusive/competent. Morris does what she can to help us meet those goals, and provide whatever support we can to the Black girls in our orbit. Specifically, I want to highlight the Appendices. Appendix A is a few sets of common Q and A's (for girls, for parents and community members, for educators) that are so incredibly helpful and useful for getting started and bridging gaps and communicating. Freaking spectacular. Appendix B provides concrete examples of alternatives to punishment (restorative justice, in particular), along with details on how fidelity in implementation is key to success, as well as acknowledgment of the limitations of research currently in existence for these methods.   

 

Look, this book was so good, so important. I reviewed and got research support for things I already knew and learned new things as well. It's absolutely infuriating. Be prepared. But there is also space for hope for the future. We can, and must, ask ourselves: "What assumptions are being made about the conditions of Black girls? How might Black girls be uniquely impacted by school and other disciplinary policies? How are organizations, systems, and policies creating an environment that is conducive or not conducive to the healthy development of Black girls?" I highly recommend this for anyone who works or interacts with youth, especially Black girls, in schools, the justice system, etc. Like I said, this review barely scratches the surface. Go read and learn and do for yourself. 

 

"This book presents narratives that I hope will inspire us all to think about the multiple ways in which racial, gender, and socioeconomic inequity converge to marginalize Black girls in their learning environments—relegating many to an inferior quality of education because they are perceived as defiant, delinquent, aggressive, too sexy, too proud, and too loud to be treated with dignity in their schools." 

 

"The “attitude” often attributed to Black girls casts as undesirable the skills of being astute at reading their location—where they sit along the social hierarchy—and overcoming the attendant obstacles. These were lessons learned through generations of struggle, and these lessons sit at the apex of what provides Black women and girls the audacity to demand being treated with dignity." 

 

"Globally, education is by and large recognized as a key pathway out of poverty. However, not every type of education opens up that path, and the quality of education has everything to do with being prepared to thrive as an adult." 

 

"...teaching is hard work. So is learning." 

 

"...without intentional efforts to combat old ways and norms, schools routinely function as institutions that reproduce dominant social ideas, hierarchies, and systems of oppression." 

 

"What can (and should) be developed and nurtured in educational settings, but almost never is, is a deeper awareness of the numerous social factors—related to race, gender, sexuality, disability status, or other identities—that have the power to trigger Black girls and shape their interactions with people in schools. Every girl is unique, but understanding widely shared experiences connected to structural forces bigger than us all would go a long way toward supporting the success and education of Black girls." 

 

"Throughout years of talking with girls, they have consistently, in both quiet and robust ways, inquired about why their bodies are objectified and their minds dismissed." 

 

"Histories of victimization and addiction, poor student-teacher relationships, being subject to zero tolerance and harsh discipline along with uninspired and poorly executed curriculum, and the school credit mismatch—independently and together, all these factors function to push Black girls in juvenile court schools further away from all schooling. While few would disagree that the ultimate goal is to prevent more girls from going to correctional facilities at all, more often than not juvenile court schools exacerbate the problems more than they contribute to the solutions. They should be serving as an important rehabilitative structure for detained girls." 

 

"A school with professionals devoted to developing, not unraveling, Black girls’ academic well-being and their mental health would provide a foundation for cultivating new ways to respond to their emotional, physical, and sexual trauma so they don’t repeat mistakes (in relationships with friends, teachers, family, and sexual partners) that spiral them further into poverty, crime, addiction, violence, or worse." 

 

"The absence of culturally competent and gender-responsive methods of teaching—approaches that respond to girls who stand at the crossroads of racism, sexism, transphobia, homophobia, and poverty—sets up a criminalizing pathway for girls." 

 

"In our haste to teach children social rules, we sometimes fail to examine whether these rules are rooted in oppression—racial, patriarchal, or any other form. Ultimately such a failure undermines the full expression and learning of Black girls." 

 

"There are no throwaway children. We can, and must, do better." 

 

"Our nationwide culture of surveillance and criminalization is much more pervasive and life-threatening than even the largest prison. Its reach into our schools and our classrooms has reinforced latent ideas of Black inferiority and cast our girls as angry little women who are too self-absorbed and consumed by themselves and their faults to participate in school communities." 

 

"Our responses to Black girls must embrace a strong anti-victimization narrative that produces safe learning environments—physically, emotionally, and spiritually—and fosters a creative and expressive pedagogy to combat racial and gender oppression in the twenty-first century." 

 

"Most importantly, we must all recognize that a racial justice practice without a gender-inclusive thrust is nothing more than a moot exercise. [...] This book’s exploration into the criminalization of Black girls in schools provides an opportunity to center Black girls in our discussions about zero tolerance, school discipline, dress codes, child victimization, and the impact of increasing surveillance in our nation’s public schools." 

 

"Each of these actions is also about establishing a climate of mutual respect. Respect is the foundation for developing that relationship. Contrary to the rhetorical refrain in schools throughout the country, respect—especially in the context of schools—is not something that should first have to be earned. It’s a human right. It is about engaging each person with dignity and honoring that she or he has valid thoughts, feelings, and actions. While respect can be eroded, lost, and earned back, every child should be granted it." 

 

"School safety is so much more than enforcement. It involves prevention, nurturing, and collaboration." 

 

"Successful educators and students alike recognize that at the heart of their positive outcome strategy is a commitment to nurturing the relationships between everyone who is involved in the learning process. When the communication is transparent, the learning can flow. When the expectations are co-constructed and clear, there are no surprises. When the well-being of the student is centered, she is not criminalized or marginalized for making mistakes. Instead, she is engaged as a developing human being—a learning person—and responded to first with love, and then with the intention to support and repair the harm that has been caused." 

 

This is an older backlist read, but one that I have seen lots of positive reviews for over the years. I've been back and forth on deciding whether or not to read it, if the blurb made it seem like I'd be interested in it, or not. After all the hemming and hawing, I finally felt like I was in the right mood. 

 

What Goodreads has to sayre: a blurb for this novel: "At first glance, the quirky, overworked narrator of this novel seems to be on the cusp of a perfect life: she is studying for a prestigious PhD in chemistry that will make her Chinese parents proud (or at least satisfied), and her successful, supportive boyfriend has just proposed to her. But instead of feeling hopeful, she is wracked with ambivalence. The long demanding hours at the lab have created an exquisite pressure cooker, and she doesn't know how to answer the marriage question. When it all becomes too much and her life plan veers off course, she finds herself on a new path of discoveries about everything she thought she knew." 

 

If for no other reason, the writing made me glad I picked this up. It was superb. The narrative voice was compelling, super unique, and had a heavy-with-forward-momentum feel (like a stream of consciousness style, almost). Wang seamlessly and creatively weaves together Chinese proverbs/language, realities of grad school, observations of life/the people around you, chemistry/science/math, random trivia style facts (many as teaching examples used as part of tutoring sessions), and snippets of conversations and memories and experiences. The connecting of facts/science and thoughts and instances of life that are woven together in ways that seem like they shouldn’t connect but then…do, is spectacular. It is rhythmic and poetic, the way the themes and language cycle and circle back around and towards each other. And all the while, it's unfolding the tale of our narrator: her inner monologue/thoughts, her life/childhood, the parents and their stories/pasts, her experiences with and hearing about her boyfriends family (and how different it is than her own), her educational and career trajectory, the life of her (best) friend, and more. Creating a character that the reader feels that they know intimately, despite her namelessness and suspension in a world that is so real, yet also feels a bit like something we're looking at through a magnifying glass or like, within a snow globe. So good. Oh! And the double meaning of the title (the science and the love) is *chef's kiss.*   

 

Topically, there were some things that hit a little close to home. Not career or relationship wise, the obvious parts of the narrator's life that are causing such internal strife and indecision. But the overall vibe. The idea that one should have had everything figured out already, that there are external expectations of success that you are fighting to meet while internally not sure those are measurements that apply to or mean anything to you, and the emotional pressure-cooker that can result. That deeper level of recognizance hit me hard. I think perhaps it's generational? I know a number of Millennials who have similar thoughts and feelings about life and milestones and "growing up." Or perhaps it is more universal, but no one else has been willing to so openly admit and talk about it. Who knows. Regardless, I was definitely invested in our narrator's journey. Watching the buildup of expectations and microaggressions and feelings of self-inadequacy and disconnection from heritage/identity and drifting apart in a relationship that the narrator recognizes individually, but can’t quite put all together to understand why that break with her real/normal/curated life is happening, is really something. Also, the best friend gave a nice foil to the narrator's situation. A person with a similar background and choices, who ends up in a very different place, which gives some nice perspective. It also highlights the ways that comparison can creep in, despite all our best efforts, to both our advantage and disadvantage.  

 

The ending was a weird sort of cliffhanger. It's unresolved in the way that this situation probably would be, at least for quite some time. The narrator has a lot they are still working through, figuring out, coming to terms with. And yet, there is at least one small decision made at the end, which is a hopeful sign of more to come. But with no clear resolution or timeline to provide the reader comfort or guidance. It's not an easy ending. And I can see some people being frustrated with it - it felt almost abrupt - but for me, it fit. 

 

This was such a unique and creative and fascinating read. The writing was the highlight for me, as I said. But the cultural aspects and character study presented absolutely held their own. If you, like me, aren't sure if this book is for you or not, I'd encourage you to give it a go. It's a quick read. And hopefully it'll surprise you as pleasantly as it did me. 

 

"I find it interesting how often beauty is shown to make the objects around it feel worse." 

 

"Studies have shown that the brain feels exclusion not like a broken heart but like a broken bone. It is physical pain that the brain feels." 

 

"Theorems are only theorems because they have never been proven wrong, but they have also never been proven right. It is all a great big loophole." 

 

"The optimist sees the glass half full. The pessimist sees the glass half empty. The chemist sees the glass completely full, half in liquid state and half in gaseous, both of which are probably poisonous." 

 

"The only difference between a poison and a cure is dosage. Drink too much water and you will die. Inhale water and you will die as well." 

 

"I once thought I would have all the answers by now." (But like, OMG, how relatable.) 

 

"A hallmark of science is setting out to discover one thing and then discovering something else." 

 

"Science is not a panacea; activities such as human interactions are difficult to answer with this method." 

 

"Pure crystals are those that have perfectly repeating units. You told me this after I asked you what you found beautiful about chemistry. But what of the repeating units in life? Most often imperfect." 

 

And so it continues! I keep getting lucky with my library holds on these books coming through right before travel times, because they are perfect for easy, escapist reading in the background of flights and vacation. 

 

This sixth installation gives us the story of Eurydice, younger sister to Persephone and Psyche from the first two books, known for her innocence and (more recently) the broken heart she was left with after her time with Orpheus. For the past year, she's been living under Hades' protection in the lower city. Though to be more specific, she's been directly under the care of Hades' right-hand man, Charon. The two of them, after all their time together, have definitely caught some feelings, but Charon's priority is her safety and Eurydice is still reeling a bit from Orpheus' betrayal. When the ice breaks and they finally decide to take a risk on each other, Orpheus re-enters the picture too (looking to make up for past wrongs), and the three of them will have to work through quite a bit to create something that feels right for them all, together. Oh, and at the same time, the outside threats to Olympus haven't gone anywhere. In fact, the attacks are seeping into the Lower City and Hades faces some tough choices to protect his family and his people, choices that will affect all our MCs and, really, the whole of Olympus.   

 

All this romance reading I've been doing lately is truly fine-tuning my own awareness of what I'm into. And this book has a lot of it. Phew. The relationship dynamics (as far as f/m/m, if not in regards to prior relationships or the role each plays in this poly situation) are similar to Wicked Beauty, which has been my favorite of the series to date. And while I liked that plot better than this one, I have to admit the threesome here makes this, probably, my second favorite. The intimacy dynamics really spoke to me (if not the specific kinks, then definitely the overall vibes of reliance and protection). On the whole, the actual sex scenes were magnificent; I loved that way that art and healing were woven in a bit too. This one for sure started out much more toxic - there was quite a bit, emotionally, that needed to be worked through - but once our three had a chance to really talk, it was handled (IMO) successfully enough. Plus, the general messiness of a lot of these romances are part of the "can't stop turning pages" reactions I have while reading. So, while I know they aren't always the healthiest, I am here for the it's-not-real-life-so-I-can-feel-less-guilty-loving-it drama. And my biggest soft spot is for the ending(s), when these poly relationships provide so much more support and love and presence than a person could get in a pairing. All those "I got you" vibes, from all directions, really get me right in the fulfilling feels. 

 

Outside of the relationship, it was fun to revisit the Lower City and the characters there. We hadn't had a chance to do that in a little while, and there's always a bit of comfort reading in that kind of familiarity. And look, I know I said this for the last one too, but this story arc is getting real. I am finding myself invested in the outcome, the future of Olympus, far more than I would have expected. This happened with the Psy-Changling series too and, honestly, I don't hate it. It's nice to have these quick and entertaining and sort of ridiculous and definitely steamy reads sitting in reserve for when I need a break from heavier books/topics/life. There was a lot of violence in this one, as there have been in the last few, but of a different sort of style, which was a lot to read, but a nice mix-up. And we got a reveal of the big bad! I wasn't expecting the name, nor the reasoning, at all. But it fits so well and I'm really happy with it. As with everything else, Roebrt has done a great job using the original mythology as guidance for characters and themes, but continues to impress with the way she fits it into a new framework to make it something original (with many more happier endings, of course).      

 

I'm still on board for more, y'all! Already on the library waitlist for the next (as yet to be published) installment. I am very interested to see where Ariadne’s story goes next, romantically and for the larger plot, because the setup we were given in this book was super mysterious and intriguing. Let's keep the drama (and sex) rolling onwards! 

 

“But make no mistake, none of that threatens us, baby. We crossed that bridge tonight, and there’s no going back. You and me, we’re endgame.” 

 

"The person I am now would never be satisfied with only witnessing magic. I want to be the one creating it." 

 

"He’s become the boogeyman that they always accused him of being. Ironically, it’s not hate that made him this way. It’s love." 

 

I have had a soft spot for fairy tales since I was young. And, as we all know by now, I love a retelling. I especially love it when they reclaim the original as something feminist, queer, revolutionary. It's like, the best of all the worlds. So, I've had this one on my TBR for awhile and this most recent vacation, and the need for an entertaining airplane read, was the perfect opportunity. I read it all in a single flight. 

 

Per Goodreads, the blurb for this novel is: "It's 200 years after Cinderella found her prince, but the fairy tale is over. Teen girls are now required to appear at the Annual Ball, where the men of the kingdom select wives based on a girl's display of finery. If a suitable match is not found, the girls not chosen are never heard from again. Sixteen-year-old Sophia would much rather marry Erin, her childhood best friend, than parade in front of suitors. At the ball, Sophia makes the desperate decision to flee, and finds herself hiding in Cinderella's mausoleum. There, she meets Constance, the last known descendant of Cinderella and her stepsisters. Together they vow to bring down the king once and for all--and in the process, they learn that there's more to Cinderella's story than they ever knew." 

 

Alright, this was exactly as advertised. It met expectations, nothing more and nothing less. As far as the general story development and writing, it was fairly basic, especially as fantasy goes. The world-building was pretty surface-level and the characters pretty predictable. And really, it was very clear from the beginning that something weird was going on, that there were secrets and buried truths. But, I was interested enough to keep turning pages, adn the basic-ness meant that I was able to speed right through it. So, I went along for the ride. Things remained this recognizable throughout, even through the big twist and the ending (some elements, *SPOILERS* like soul stealing and the dead turning to ashes are decidedly not new). And yet, fantasy is always a bit trope-heavy. Plus, as this is a princess-story retelling, it makes sense that being groundbreaking wasn't necessarily ever on the table. Perhaps some things were heavy-handed, sure, but that doesn't make the messages wrong. The one thing that I wished I had bought into more was the romance. I mean, I loved that it was f/f, so much. But it just wasn't robust enough for me to fully believe it. Ah well. 

 

There were also a few aspects that I was, objectively, very into. The reframing of the "wicked" stepsisters was great. That the men writing the history would reframe the women who resisted as wicked fits a deeply believable and relatable IRL narrative of victors (re)writing history. On this same point, that “Cinderella’s story is so much more complicated than I imagined.” is a central theme is something I really appreciated. Because isn't that all of it? That women are flattened into something aspirational and simplistic and all the nuance is pulled out in favor of promoting conformity and obedience. And the extremity and entitlement of that reaction to rejection?? Like I said, maybe heavy-handed, but only because it's so upsettingly accurate. I was also absolutely on board for the couple of ways that necromancy was infused into this story. That's a dark magic element that really did give something new to this typically very light and sweet plot fairy tale plot. I do love some dark sh*t now and again (see my love for Gideon the Ninth). 

 

While this wrapped up pretty quick and easy, and you know the transition wasn’t that easy, I feel like the hopefulness in it is something big and worth celebrating. And all that being said about basic-ness, I was looking for a quick and easy plane read and it definitely delivered exactly as I had hoped on that front. I didn't have to think or try hard to follow, and the writing and pacing and development was solid enough that I wasn't negatively distracted by it. So, color me definitely entertained. I'll be keeping Bayron's other retellings in mind for the next time I want a similar vibe/level read.  

 

 

“‘I’ve never heard of anyone leaving without the king’s consent.’ / ‘Neither have I, but that doesn’t mean it hasn’t happened. We’ve also rarely heard about people like us and yet here we are. Just because they deny us doesn’t mean we cease to exist.’” 

 

“The truth is tricky. People want to know it, but when they do, sometimes they wish they didn’t.” 

 

“The palace underestimates the resourcefulness of women forced into a dark and dangerous place.” 

 

“It’s risky,” says Constance, reading my expression. “But sometimes that’s the only way to get things done. Take the risk, light the fuse. Onward.” 

 

"Just because you don’t believe it doesn’t mean it can’t be true.” 

 

“And you’re not lost?” I think for a moment. “Maybe I am. But the difference is that I want to be found. I’m not happy pretending everything is fine when I know it’s not.” “And just who is it that you suppose will find you?” Amina asks. “It’ll be me,” I say. “I will find myself.” 

 

"Look at your children, your friends, your wives, and your daughters. Don’t do what is right because they hold those titles. Do what is right because they are people. Make a choice to change things.” 

 

I read, and really enjoyed, Vo's novella The Empress of Salt and Fortune a few years ago. Since then, she's published a few full length novels and I have been meaning to pick them up. This wasn't the one I thought I'd read first, as I never really did get the Gatsby hype. But I found it at a used bookstore and figured, why not? 

 

Well, I went on vacation and ended up *many* book reviews behind, so, a blurb borrowed from Goodreads to save time: "Immigrant. Socialite. Magician. Jordan Baker grows up in the most rarefied circles of 1920s American society—she has money, education, a killer golf handicap, and invitations to some of the most exclusive parties of the Jazz Age. She's also queer, Asian, adopted, and treated as an exotic attraction by her peers, while the most important doors remain closed to her. But the world is full of wonders: infernal pacts and dazzling illusions, lost ghosts and elemental mysteries. In all paper is fire, and Jordan can burn the cut paper heart out of a man. She just has to learn how." 

 

Alright, like I said, this is a retelling of The Great Gatsby and I was never fully sold on the original, so I wasn't sure how I'd respond to this reimagining. It turns out: really well. I super enjoyed my time with this novel. It had all the glittering excess and self-absorption and "unreachability" of the first, but the dark undertones carried a hint of something more evil, with demons and bargains and magic, that added a little something that I loved. Plus, this version did less justifying and glorifying of some ugly character traits than what I remember of the original. They were all still there, but acknowledged for what they were in a way I appreciated and allowed me to buy more deeply into the story being told. 

 

So, back to the undertones of magic and darkness, because those vibes were absolutely the highlight of the book for me. First, when I am in the mood for it, or when it hits right, I simply love a *vibes* read. (See, An Education in Malice.) In this case, Vo nails that aspect. The writing is simply magical, the setting and ambience in particular, but in general the mystery and mysticality are tangible. This is reinforced by the fact that the edges between actual magic and "feels like magic" are so blurred as to leave the reader feeling like they’re floating between reality and imagination. The fact that Jordan is an immigrant, and thus in "a little of both worlds, but not fully of either" herself, unique in the set she runs in, only adds to that feeling. For when things are a bit more openly described/referenced, I was totally in for the variety of magics that made their way into these pages. Of course, primarily, the paper cutting/manipulation that was, by heritage, Jordan's personal method. But also mentioned, “some infernal, some subterranean French, some American swamp medicine” and more. The way these were used to hide and enhance a variety of debaucheries (as far as the law and social understanding goes), was fantastic. And then there was the "magic" that is referred to as a sort of farce, the "show" that is the socialite excesses of the time in actuality. *chef's kiss* The line of demonic powers and the classic "demons of high society" is also flirted with, and the play back and forth is subtle and clever in delivery and, again, creates a reading experience that is superbly atmospheric. At some point, Vo uses the phrases "the wages of sin" and, for me, that phrase encapsulates much of this novel. 

 

Contributing to the nebulous vibes of the book was also how oblique so much of it was. The money, sex, magic, ghosts, drunkenness, love, abortion, etc. is implicit and evasive, yet it’s all so very clearly there. Also, on theme historically and thematically: speakeasies!! Yes, please. Related: while it’s almost all closed door, I appreciated the casual way Jordan owns and acts on her sexuality and bisexuality without shame or guilt. Again: yes, please. Across the book, there is just so much subtext in everything: in the descriptions, the dialogue, sometimes even the plot development. (To that end, my one small complaint is that I thinkkkk I know what happened in the ending, with Nick in particular, but I'm not totally confident I understood it right.) 

 

This retelling was absolutely sparkling. It takes everything that is glorified in the original and shines a light into the dark recesses and calls out what is actually a deep ugliness (ignored, pretended it wasn't there, by all those living above it) beneath the surface gleam and glitter - a reinvention and mirage that is brought tumbling down by Gatsby's inevitable ending - while still managing to maintain the plot development and sense of the wonder from the original. What a literary accomplishment.  

 

 

“What Gatsby’s parties were was easy. It felt as if every wish you had while within his domain might be granted, and the only rule was that you must be beautiful and witty and bright.” 

 

“You weren’t meant to look at people the way that Lieutenant Gatsby looked at Daisy Fay. You couldn't peel your skin back and show them how your heart had gone up in flames, how nothing that had come before mattered and nothing that came afterward mattered as long as you had what you wanted.” 

 

“Sometimes, the only excuse for doing something stupid is knowing that you are doing it and being willing to accept the consequences.” 

 

“Because that’s what the world is about. People being nice to you. [...] It's better than a world where they're cruel and you stay anyway.” 

 

It's been an intense few weeks of work for me and I was looking for something escapist and fun(?) and mostly, just entertaining. I've been curious about Abrams writing for some time now. I mean honestly, how does a person do everything she does?! She's an inspiring political leader and advocate for social justice and voting rights and also writes romances and, apparently, now legal thrillers. It's enough to make a person really question what they're doing with their life and why they aren't that accomplished... But anyways, I just wanted to see what this was about and my current reading mood made this the right time to finally do so. 

 

Borrowing from Goodreads for this blurb: Avery Keene, a brilliant young law clerk for the legendary Justice Howard Wynn, is doing her best to hold her life together--excelling in an arduous job with the court while also dealing with a troubled family. When the shocking news breaks that Justice Wynn--the cantankerous swing vote on many current high-profile cases--has slipped into a coma, Avery's life turns upside down. She is immediately notified that Justice Wynn has left instructions for her to serve as his legal guardian and power of attorney. Plunged into an explosive role she never anticipated, Avery finds that Justice Wynn had been secretly researching one of the most controversial cases before the court--a proposed merger between an American biotech company and an Indian genetics firm, which promises to unleash breathtaking results in the medical field. She also discovers that Wynn suspected a dangerously related conspiracy that infiltrates the highest power corridors of Washington. As political wrangling ensues in Washington to potentially replace the ailing judge whose life and survival Avery controls, she begins to unravel a carefully constructed, chesslike sequence of clues left behind by Wynn. She comes to see that Wynn had a much more personal stake in the controversial case and realizes his complex puzzle will lead her directly into harm's way in order to find the truth. 

 

Well, my biggest reactions to this novel were all positive. I was so impressed by the complexity of it all, how many moving pieces and details and twists and knowledge went into this. Maybe this is typical of legal thrillers? It's not a genre I read much of or have much experience with, so you know, I don't have a ton of frame of reference. With that in mind, for me, this was so intricately plotted! There were so many sectors that were brought together: science/medicine, legal/judicial, technological, as well as some more personal interests, like Fresh literature and chess, and interpersonal relationships that added depth and complications (like Avery's mother's struggles with addiction). It was, in that way, reminiscent of The Immortal King Rao, though more politically focused, as opposed to market/public focused. Abram's brain is intimidating and impressive. 

 

And the pacing was nonstop. It was an increible page-turning ride for me...every time I had to stop reading (or listening, as it were), I didn't want to! Like I said, I don't read a lot of thrillers, legal or otherwise, and I had so much fun with this one. I also liked that, while some aspects were a bit more speculative, there was a very real grounding in the present day. It ramped up the immediacy and tension of the story. For example, I appreciated the currentness of the discussion about deep fakes and technology, meaning that having video proof of something is not enough anymore, without authentication, which could take long enough that justice never happens. So, how to make sure you reveal the right way to get the end result you want? The playing fast and loose with some laws/rules to accomplish that maybe didn't feel quite realistic, but was enjoyable to read. I was definitely cheering for Avery et al. There were also some very familiar characterizations and rhetoric here...the kind of basis in reality style details that make for an extra compelling story (because it’s extra scary and possible feeling). Like, the rhetoric of “protection” against “enemies” out of “fear” of potential “attacks on this great nation” is terrifying in its familiarity. I won't lie, a couple times I sort of wished real life wasn’t so directly inspiring for this kind of fictionalized narrative of upsetting/immoral/unlawful actions by world leaders, yeesh. But yea, it was compelling AF. 

 

Some final random thoughts. I love the dual meaning of the title; always a fan of creative wordplay. Early on I noted "is there a budding romance here?!" And it turns out: yes, yes. I didn't love that, but I didn't hate it. It wasn't overdone, which was nice. It felt like there were a few loose ends but...partially I know this is setting up to be a series and partially I don’t care because it was entertaining and satisfying and that’s what I wanted (and the major plot points were all cleared up, there was just come open-ended-ness in a few spots). The side characters seemed a bit conveniently knowledgeable on diverse and useful topics, but, you know, fiction. And those perspectives added a lot to the plot, so I'll take them. I did struggle with the seemingly unshakeable belief that Avery has in Justice Wynn’s mental capacity and status, without a lot of proof or seemingly too much previous relationship depth. But again, fiction (and maybe a bit explained away by his clear "character study" of Avery as the "right" choice for that faith). I'll buy it for the sake of the story here.  

 

To repeat myself, the number of moving pieces (pun intended) and knowledge and detail orientation that went into this was so much. I was hooked from the beginning and couldn't put it down. So, despite any small questions I had about development quality, I have to be honest and say I'd recommend it pretty strongly. Exactly the suck-me-in escape I had hoped for.   

 

Thanks to Libro.fm for the ALC (though I am way behind on getting to it) for this one. After reading a number of reviews for this, it seemed similar to Last Night at the Telegraph Club, as far as YA lit with salient themes. And I was looking forward to it, but also knew it would be a little heavier/more emotional, so I wanted to be ready for it. I ended up waiting until my request for my library to purchase the novel had been filled, so I could have a physical copy on hand as well. And I'm glad I did, because after reading this, I am thrilled that it'll be in our collection - it was so good, so important, and definitely deserves more readership. 

 

It's the summer before her senior year of high school when Avery's family moves from Washington DC to rural Bardell, Georgia, to care for her terminally ill grandmother, Mama Letty. Things are tense from the start, with Mama Letty and Avery's mom at each other all the time, over a past drama they refuse to talk about. In trying to avoid her family's tempers, Avery starts spending time with her next-door-neighbor, Simone, and Simone's lifelong bestie, Jade. The three become friends quickly, and Avery is drawn into connection and local secrets/excitement against her will. The more time Avery spends in Bardell, the more her relationships with Mama Letty, Simone and Jade grow and change, and she realizes that finding out what happened to cause her mother and Mama Letty to be at such odds, and sharing her own truths as well, is more important to her than anything else. More important than keeping the peace, more than letting this small town keep its ugly secrets hidden, more even than her budding closeness with Simone and Jade, if it comes to that. 

 

Y'all, this was amazing. I cannot believe this is Hammonds' first novel. They created something so special here. Impactful and important and emotional and necessary. I was sold from the first chapter, by Avery's narrative voice alone. And things only got better and better from there. Every single character was exceptionally well developed, with depth and nuance and the kind of complexity that comes with being a fully dimensional human (with the exception of Avery's dad, who was just a chill, calming vibe - though in this situation the story was not about him/his perspective, so maintaining a supporting role only made sense). And the relationships between and amongst them were equally fully-fleshed out. The storytelling was spot on, giving space for development, but keeping the conflicts and reveals coming often enough to provide a reasonably edge-of-your-seat pacing. The addition of short, extra POVs from other characters at the end of some of the chapters, to give depth to the greater story without dragging things out or forcing it into the normal narration, helped maintain that pace and interest too. 

 

The coming of ages all over the place were spectacular too. I mean, obviously, Avery's is central, as the narrator and as a traditional age for a coming of age story. She learns, over the course of the book, a myriad of lessons about defining yourself for yourself, independent of anyone else (not for or because of or in connection to anyone else). How that is so hard, and not something everyone can do, but is all the more worth it because of that. As part of that process, Avery learns that adults do not have it all together or figured out. And that's huge for me - I wish more adults would be authentic and admit that, so more young people could understand and be ready for how lifelong that journey of becoming yourself can be. We also see some adults struggling and dealing with it, realizing that the kids are old enough to hear the truth/don’t need to safety of protection, while on the opposite end, the young adults are realizing the shades of grey that come with years of history they haven’t lived through and beginning to understand the complexities of older people’s/adult relationships and experiences. And then there is Mama Letty. She's almost a fable, in that as long as you are still alive, there is always time to realign and reform, to forgive and recreate relationships...all while managing to keep her classic spiciness and her own (heavy) secrets, of course. Just, people are so complicated. Grieving and abuse and systemic social limitations and so many circumstances outside one’s control play a role in who a person is/becomes. And who can judge that? How does one atone and forgive and move on? Honestly, the way Hammonds portrays all of that genuine universal "unsurity" and attempts is so good, so real. 

 

Throughout the novel, Hammonds also explores a number of other salient issues, highlighting the racism of the American South, acceptance (or not, as it were) of queer identities, expectations from society and family (whether it be aspirational educational goals and/or family support roles), and, in connection to all of these themes, the reality of intergenerational trauma. I experienced very real grief at the tension and conflict and pain that that trauma caused for Avery and her family, and (while slightly less central, but no less developed) for Simone and Jade individually and with their families as well. The invisible scars of racism and intolerance and prejudice on the present and future generations...these emotional scars and baggage can’t be measured quantifiably, but have very real impacts on health/wellbeing/relationships/families/humanity that must be recognized in order to be addressed and (hopefully, eventually) overcome. Because the writers of history don’t mark the lives and experiences of those it deems unworthy, we, in the present, must work to uncover and recognize and honor without the traditional “proof” (isn't the word and memory of those who experience it enough?). And when that doesn’t happen, when very few even try to achieve that, can a person be blamed for avenging their tragedy and sorrow in their own way? Do we have the right to judge them for that? And how do we then move forward, and put an end, for real, to that back and forth of pain. Worth noting, I also experienced such big joy, reading when Avery and Simone were able to find a safe space, a haven where they could live and be and experience as their true and open selves. 

 

This was a story of healing. Not perfect, never perfect, but the effort is what makes it real. The way that trying, really trying, and recognizing and owning and working to repair/atone, in new generations *can* start to prevail over what ancestors have perpetrated and suffered. This is also a story of all the best and worst parts of growing up and being grown all at once. I cried so many times; there was catharsis and freedom and grief and feeling trapped/uncertain, in family and in greater society, and all the emotion was just so much. This really did answer the titular statement, addressing who “deserves” monuments (and if, for those currently doing the choosing, do they really deserve that power/voice), in stunning fashion. Excuse my language, kind of, but this entire novel was absolutely fucking phenomenal. 

 

“People are messy, kid. Families are messy.” 

 

“I didn’t know how to fix something that stretched past decades I’d been alive.” 

 

“It’s okay to feel lost sometimes, Avery. It's okay to feel like you don't have the answers. You don't need to always have the answers, but you do need to give yourself some grace. It's okay to breathe sometimes. Why does everything have to be so urgent? […] Life was short. Everything was urgent, and who had the time to breathe in all that? […] You’re going to run yourself ragged [...] if you don't stop and look around and breathe sometimes. You can't get to know yourself if you can't sit with yourself for a while.” 

 

“They were in love. They were alive.” (Oh, the layered meanings here are *beyond*) 

 

“My heart was a mess, and it was full and beautiful.” 

 

I've been on the waitlist for this one for a few months now. I had been hoping to get it in time for our relaxy-vacay to Mexico, but no such luck. It would have been the perfect poolside read. But, I enjoyed it even without the pool. And it was a great complementary read to The Secret Lives of Country Gentlemen, which I had finished just as this hold came through.

Lucy Muchelney just had to sit through the wedding of her former lover, and needs a distraction. With her brother threatening to sell the family's telescope, her only remaining refuge - the study of the stars she learned from her father - looks to be in jeopardy too. So when a letter comes from a correspondent of her father's, looking for someone to translate a definitive astronomy text from the original French, she takes a chance and leaves for London, to present herself as the best choice for the job. Catherine St Day, getting over the recent death of her husband - a well known explorer/scientist - is a bit surprised when Lucy shows up in person, on her doorstep, to answer the letter she'd sent. But the surprise quickly turns to intrigue and interest and she decides to let Lucy stay. As the two women orbit each other, spending more and more time together between embroidery and art (for Catherine) and translation and research (for Lucy), their relationship changes into something more than friendship. And together, they'll have to fight misogyny, social norms, and scars of previous relationships in order to make a future together (one brighter and more promising than they'd ever have imagined without the other).

Apparently, this is the year I get really into queer historical romance. I can't say I'm upset about it. Historical romance is not a sub-genre I've ever been pulled to before, but I think the additional sub-sub-genre of queer historical romance was the missing piece I needed to get me going. Anyways... I really enjoyed this one. It was quieter, on the whole, than the ones I've read recently, like Country Gentlemen, the entire The Last Binding trilogy, or Mortal Follies. To be fair, a number of those had magic, and one had smuggling as a key plot point, so they were predisposed to heightened drama. But it was an interesting contrast to move from that into this world. Lucy and Catherine had sparks of their own, no question, as they pushed the boundaries of what society allowed for women, both privately and publicly. And of course, the sparks that flew between them as they discovered each other emotionally/physically were bright as well. But the overall story felt more controlled and contained. I sort of enjoyed that change. I fell into the two of them together, all the time they were able to spend with each other, supporting and nurturing each other's projects and confidence; it was sweet and comforting and fulfilling in a different sort of way. And I personally have a very intense soft spot for lovers (even if it’s just the nascent feelings and they don’t even really know it yet) getting all worked up and angry in defense of their “person’s” honor and dignity, especially if they don’t feel that way for themselves (yet), but doing that for someone else helps them find their own strength and realize they’re worthy of that same dignity/defense. One of my favorite "tropes" and it was deployed spectacularly here. Yes, please.

I thought the framing story, Lucy's choice to get a bit creative with the translation of the French astronomy work, in order to make it accessible to a wider population, was inspired. Creative nonfiction is the reason I got into nonfiction, and I have learned so much through that entry-point. Similarly, I so appreciated the discourse on widening the definition of who deserves the title of scientist or artist. Who, historically, has been able to "bestow" that honor or create those parameters and who are they keeping out? What types of science and art are refused recognition on similar grounds of "undeserving?" It's a major theme of the novel and I thought it was well done. Important, but not overdone or too heavy in presentation. And then the ending, the low key surprise twist, showing that women (and people of color) have always been there, doing the work, it’s just a matter of getting recognition, added a perfect exclamation mark to the points Waite had been making the whole time. Finally, story/theme-wise, the debates on art and science, that despite how the world insists on seeing them as opposites, the genius of both lies in creativity and pushing boundaries, was everything. I have long tried to make similar points, but have never been able to do so with such clarity. I was so grateful to read it here. 

As far as Lucy and Catherine themselves, I really liked reading their overall arc. Catherine's support of Lucy and Lucy helping Catherine to come into her own - stop dempening herself for others' sake - was lovely. The dynamic of Lucy being the one to guide Catherine as a lover, as she had greater experience and awareness despite her younger age, was unique, not something I've read often in romances, and done so sweetly and gently. The worry and jealousy each experienced was very real, and authentic, but also...it leaned a bit too close to miscommunication at times, and that's one of my least favorite tropes. They were each legitimately trying to care or allow space/freedom for the other, and that's genuine and I love the sentiment, but so much of that could have been avoided if they'd just talked and I always struggle with that. The agreement they come to in the end, a way to commit both to each other and to the women and work they want to champion, was such a fantastic wrap-up though. Oh my stars (see what I did there?), hats off to that. 

Like I said, this was a lovely read, even without the poolside vibes. Inspiring, scientifically and self-discovery-wise. A couple very nice steamy scenes. And overall, a solid first experience into what felt like, to me, a more earnest/classic style of historical romance than I've read before.    

 

This was a "read due to receiving it as an ALC from Libro.fm" situation. I had not heard of it prior to it being offered and I likely wouldn't have picked it up anyways. I do really appreciate that that program has really expanded some of my reading choices/horizons. 

 

This is a dual-POV historical fiction/contemporary literature novel (early 1960s and present day). In 1962, a Mi’kmaq family from Nova Scotia arrives in Maine to pick blueberries for the summer. Weeks later, four-year-old Ruthie, the family’s youngest child, vanishes. She is last seen by her six-year-old brother, Joe, who finds himself unable to move on from her disappearance. Present day, in Maine, a girl named Norma is the only child of a well-off, but not easy-going (her father is distant and her mother is super overprotective) family. She is close to her aunt, and her aunt's partner, but they live too far away to help Norma through some of the more difficult moments. She is often troubled by recurring dreams that feel more like memory than imagination and, as she gets older, she realizes that there are things her family isn't telling her. As Joe never stops searching for his sister, Norma decides to try to uncover her family's secrets, their stories will collide with great emotional release. 

 

This was a really solid read. From the very beginning, the trajectory of the story was clear; no real subtlety or attempt to obfuscate. I think I appreciated that. Since it was so obvious where it was going, trying to pretend the reader wouldn't see it likely would have felt a bit insulting. Instead then, we were able to go on the journeys the characters experienced alongside them, making them the highlight, as opposed to the plot. With that in mind, it would have been really easy for this to be a less emotionally impactful read, since one was able to prepare for the culmination over the entirety of the novel. In fact, I was kind of expecting that. And yet, it wasn't the case at all. When it came, the tentative rediscovery and reunion of the finale was *deeply* emotional. I found myself moved to tears a few times, because over my time with these characters, as they grew and developed and lived their lives, I got to really know them. So yea, the "twist" was almost obvious to the reader, but so smoothly written in its reveal to the characters that you felt like you were watching it happen for real, could imagine it playing out exactly like this if it was a true story. That authenticity of interactions - filled with feeling, but never expressed in an overdone way though the writing itself - made it all the more powerful. I was very impressed with that. 

 

Thematically, there are a couple very strong messages Peters imparts. First, the highlighting of how much inequity, bias, and institutional racism allow the population in privilege to get away with, literally and logistically and morally and legally, truly unimaginable things. And there is often no real recourse for the oppressed. Like, a split second decision to literally steal a child, no matter what the mental state of the person perpetrating that kidnapping, is just... I don't know, it boggles the mind, in a devastating way, how easy it was to just get away with that choice. It should make you question all the institutions that didn't ask questions! And I appreciated the way the uglier sides of humanity/people were directly confronting, there is no softening due to intention, not when the impact was so catastrophic. Yes, there is recognition of a choice made in the throes of heartbreak, but never in a way that eases the despair and further heartbreak caused as a result. And my goodness, the way Peters illustrates the heartbreak/guilt of those left behind and the unexplained empty spaces for the one stolen away is enough to emotionally break you as a reader.   

 

There are also some great head-on interrogations of the way that some types of families, based on look/position/income, are considered innately "better" than others. Peters shows a whole slew of faulty humanity in these pages, giving a clear comparative look at how each family, each person, has their own complications and difficulties, but also their own styles of comfort and support and love. And who has the right to decide which is preferred and would (or would have) provided a better/happier/safer home? No one. The accident of birth is just that, an accident. And then no one but the person themself should have the power to decide if/when that accident was the right fit or not. To take that choice away from someone...it's unthinkable. But she balances that too, with the conflicting loyalties of love and connection a person may face - asking who gets your silence or support, for example - when you have ties of family but perhaps don't agree? Those choices can be similarly impossible to make, though we are often asked to, in life. Nothing is easy, and Peters doesn't shy away from that hard truth. 

 

Each of the characters in this novel is incredibly nuanced. There are no easy fillers or cookie-cutters. And that is the absolute highlight of this novel. Peters takes a single very wrong choice and builds it into something that, as each character is pulled into its orbit, creates a string of further reactions and decisions that just build in layer and complexity. And while you know that first choice was wrong, as every other character gets drawn in at different times and in different ways, their compounding choices make it so that, as a reader, you are caught in the tangled web to the point where you don't know how you'd have fixed it either. And that is literary magic.  

 

I don't know if this reading experience was exactly what I wanted or expected from the novel. But I cannot deny that I was pulled in and deeply invested by the end, to an extent I didn't even realize (like I said, I cried multiple times and I truly hadn't been expecting to). I really respect that. And in the end, I was left with this stunning essence: that failings are part of who we are as human, and we all deserve grace and space and the chance to live for ourselves, with full knowledge of who we are and the power to choose how we want our life to look. And that is something worth being left with. 

 

 “It’s funny what you remember when something goes wrong.” 

 

“We hollered Ruthie’s name so much that the trees knew it by heart.” 

 

“People will be someone other than themselves if they have people who rely on them.” 

 

“You never know what your last words to someone are going to be, and it’s hard to reconcile it when the deed is done and the person is gone.” 

 

"Marriage is a funny thing. There are so many people in the world, and you decide to commit the rest of your life, the rest of your emotional energy, to just one. You assume that the mysterious connection that ties you to one another will hold. A connection that can't be trusted, one that probably manifests in that same mystical space where stories come from. A place that allows you to suspend your disbelief. Marriage assumes that you will bend and twist and adjust to one another. It assumes that your desires will forever be interconnected by the placement of a piece of gold around a finger. For many people this is true. I envy those people who can dig deep and find that thing that originally allowed them to believe they could spend their entire lives [together]." 

 

“Some wounds cannot be healed. Some wounds never close, never scar. But the further away from the injury, the easier it became to smile.” 

 

“Secrets and lies can take on a life of their own, they can be twisted and manipulated, or they can burst into the world from the mouth of someone just as they are starting to lose their mind.”