Mona Awad has been in my awareness for a few years now. Some readers whose reviews I really trust have loved a few of her previous works; Bunny, specifically, so I've been meaning to pick that up. But when this most recent release was an option as an ALC through Lifo.fm, I decided to start with it instead. The ease of access won me over. Haha 

 

Borrowing from Goodreads for the blurb again: "For as long as she can remember, Belle has been insidiously obsessed with her skin and skincare videos. When her estranged mother Noelle mysteriously dies, Belle finds herself back in Southern California, dealing with her mother’s considerable debts and grappling with lingering questions about her death. The stakes escalate when a strange woman in red appears at the funeral, offering a tantalizing clue about her mother’s demise, followed by a cryptic video about a transformative spa experience. With the help of a pair of red shoes, Belle is lured into the barbed embrace of La Maison de Méduse, the same lavish, culty spa to which her mother was devoted. There, Belle discovers the frightening secret behind her (and her mother’s) obsession with the mirror—and the great shimmering depths (and demons) that lurk on the other side of the glass." 

 

Phew, this was trippy and creepy. And if that's what you're looking for, it delivers. I knew going in that was the vibe of Awad's writing, so I was ready for it, and got exactly what I wanted out of this reading experience. From the very start, and consistently throughout, the dark and claustrophobic fairy tale atmosphere was everywhere, with nods to Cinderella and The Wizard of Oz (magical, red shoes), Rapunzel/Tangled (there was a hella strong Mother Gothel feel to Noelle), Beauty and the Beast (at least for me, the rose/jellyfish situation was aesthetically reminiscent, plus Belle's name), and - through the stories Belle loves from her childhood - the general feel of the "perfect princess" and the unattainability of that IRL. These aspects combine with a thematically overbearing focus on skincare and the beauty industry, and the reality of dealing with grief over the loss of a parent (even, and particularly, when that relationship wasn't particularly healthy or smooth) in a way that creates a perfect fever dream of a novel. I was never totally sure what was real - what was actually happening,and what was an imaginative exaggeration or a hallucination or a dream - in a way that created a psychological spiral that was impossible to fully grasp. But in the best way. And the fantastical aspects were really uniquely intertwined with a very real the ebb and flow of mental health, especially around grief and the complexities of parent-child (mother-daughter) relationships. Altogether, the disconnect of unreality that is infused throughout this entire novel was unmooringly stunning. 

 

Other than the atmospheric vibes, the novel's major theme was the "health" and beauty industry. It's an industry I have very little direct/personal knowledge of (I have never worn makeup and my skin care is basically nonexistent). But I, of course, am not immune to the body messages that media and celebrity sells, and have had my moments of unhappiness with how I look as a result (I feel like it's an unreal expectation that it would be possible to not internalize some of that). Just...keep that framing in mind, as you read through my thoughts on this part of the book. I thought it was great. The way beauty standards intimidate and low key terrify and make you feel bad about yourself as you swim in inadequacies that you hate/regret/wish you could defend against better is demonstrated terrifyingly well. Similarly, the insidiousness of the universal approval we get when our “efforts” to remain looking young as we age are deemed “successful,” based on an arbitrary and external and a somehow-applicable-to-every-woman standard, hits the reader like a brick (though not an overdone one, IMO). Especially in the way this affects young girls, Awad interrogates that dark reality in such a creepily stunning fashion. Like I said, I know nothing about skin care products, so I have no idea how much of those mentioned are real and how much are sarcastic/exaggerated/satirical, but it FELT overdone and I *loved* that (it’s honestly what it feels like to me when people pyramid scheme/peddle beauty products...which, full disclosure, I despise). This aspect, too, was tied in so well with the complex and kind of unhealthy relationship the author had with her mother. The messages young (girls) with darker skin get about their own beauty (or lack thereof) from so many "public" sources was compounded interestingly here, since she and her mother looked so different from each other, and her perspective of "beauty" was skewed even further. This allowed for a fascinating additional, kind of side-commentary, on the myths we build up around those we fear, or admire. 

 

I have a few other more random thoughts that I'll just mash up here together at the end. First, the cover was simply dazzling. So eye-catching and perfect for the book, with the rose and jellyfish combination. The word mix-ups that Belle experiences were a phenomenal literary touch, super well-used to portray a sense of displacement both that Belle was experiencing and for the reader. I was less a fan of the attempt to add a romance storyline; it was fine all the way through, with the weird pull/connection, but then the ending just felt like, too real, after the unreality of the rest of the novel. I also thought the inclusion of "Tom Cruise" was jarring. Like, I liked the role he (the character with his name) played/had, but I wish a less famous/notable name had been employed, because his name conjures so many other things that it took me out of this story a bit sometimes. 

 

Overall, I finished this book feeling very disconcerted and unsettled, but very satisfied with the story that made me feel that way. It was exactly what I'd anticipated and wanted from this read. This perversion of “self care,” the fantastic unreliable narrator, the "longing for delusion" that was palpable and the ending of being “saved ourselves from the nightmare of our most magnificent selves” (I mean, what a concept?!) was all just so good. A promised, and delivered, wildly unpleasant read...when that's what reading mood you're in, give this one a go. 

 

“No one knows what’s inside grief. Anything at all can be there.” 

 

Oh hi, I'm back on my romance game. A Power Unbound had me looking for more m/m historical romances, and this one had been on my radar - I've been wanting to try something by K.J. Charles for some time, I've read nothing but great reviews for their work - so I grabbed it. 

 

As per Goodreads (because life is out of control right now and I'm just barely keeping up with reviews, so writing my own blurbs is just not happening), here's a synopsis: Abandoned by his father as a small child, Sir Gareth Inglis has grown up prickly, cold, and well-used to disappointment. Even so, he longs for a connection, falling headfirst into a passionate anonymous affair that's over almost as quickly as it began. Gareth has little time to lick his wounds though: his father has died, leaving him the family title, a rambling manor on the remote Romney Marsh...and the den of cutthroats and thieves that make its intricate waterways their home. Joss Doomsday has run the Doomsday smuggling clan since he was a boy. His family is his life...which is why when the all-too-familiar new baronet testifies against Joss's sister for a hanging offense, Joss acts fast, blackmailing Gareth with the secret of their relationship to force him to recant. Their reunion is anything but happy and the path forward is everything but smooth, yet after the dust settles, neither can stay away. It's a long road from there - lots of danger and mystery - but along the way, one well-mannered gentleman may at last find true love with the least likely of scoundrels. 

 

This was a super fun regency romance! It had bootleggers/smugglers and blackmail and treason and kidnapping and lots of fights. Like really, the plot itself was a highlight, which is not always the case with romances. It was page-turning, the drama and conflict and conspiracy, and I was as desperate to know how that would all play out as I was for our MCs happily ever after. It had the classic historical vibes of propriety, in language and societal rules, but also managed one of my favorite subversions of that propriety: wielding propriety as a weapon against the higher classes when they try to profligately use their power and privilege to run over/take advantage of others. It is truly one of the most satisfying things to read - I can never get enough of it. The banter between Joss and Gareth was similarly well done, using "proper" back-and-forth but with heavy euphemism. So good. I love when the dialogue shines like it does here. And while there weren't an overly high number of steamy scenes, I enjoyed the ones we got greatly. They were really nicely written, and tender, and I will be coming back for more from Charles as a result, because non-cringey steam is not always a given. 

 

 The side characters in this novel were fantastic too, pretty well developed for all that they weren't our central characters (again, not always a given in a romance). NAME and NAME were great, as Gareth got to know them and they became more comfortable with/sure of him. And Goldie/Luke...just yes. Getting to see Gareth come into his own and stand up for himself (and be there for Joss to lean on too) was great. I loved it. But I loved even more that Gareth was able to stand up for what basically amounted to a younger version of himself too. The comfort redemption in that is something I could not get enough of. I'm also really appreciating the way lots of the recent historical romance I have been reading is not ignoring the greater world around it, but instead addressing the social/class issues and general inequality of the time in question.A Power Unbound did it spectacularly. And The Queer Principles of Kitt Webb and We Could Be So Good also did a nice job with those aspects. In that case, Charles weaved it into the greater story smoothly, and it was addressed, but also the HEA did sort of allow us to pretend it wasn't an issue still. I'm not mad about that, but just want to be clear. 

 

Look, overall, the principled “blackguard” who will break a jaw and a law for those they care for and the "proper" gentleman who finally loses his control to defend those he cares for, are tropes for a reason. We got both here. And I cannot help but swoon for them. I love a man with a good heart - mess and all, but trying their best - and this book had two. 

 

 “I…I would like to be just for you.” 

 

“If you want something, you ask for it. You told me so, before. Is that always how you get what you want? / You don't get what you want by not asking for it.” 

 

“They kissed their way past the hurt and the loneliness, kissed themselves back together…” 

 

“…wondered how it was possible to be at once annoyed and hopelessly charmed.” (ahhhh, relationships, haha) 

 

“…the way he looked could break a man’s heart and mend it all at once.” (GAH what a line!) 

 

I have a soft spot for retellings of mythology - any mythological origin and (mostly) any retelling genre/style. A few months ago, I posted a review of a retelling asking for recs for others and someone recommended this! I have looked back and cannot find which review it was that I got the recommendation on, and I feel bad because I wish I could recognize whoever sent over the rec... In lieu of that, I'll just send my thanks to the universe and hope the person feels it in some way. 

 

The Palace of Illusions is a retelling of the Mahabharata, a Hindu epic that details the intergenerational saga of power/succession (primarily) between two family groups, the Pandavas and the Kauravas. In this case, the story is narrated by Panchaali, the wife of the five Pandava brothers. We follow her story from the moment of her birth (in fire!), through her childhood raised as a princess and beloved by her brother, and through the moment of her marriage to the Pandava brothers, where her life took some turns that were unexpected, contrary to promises made, and set her up to follow a preordained path of drama. Her support of her husband's lifelong efforts to regain their birthright gave her some years of happiness and contentment in her own home, dubbed the "palace of illusions." But their focus on that goal, and social rules/propriety, combined with some self-centered decisions, led her to experience a great deal of tragedy, and a lifelong struggle with unrequited love. 

 

This was a really interesting retelling. I have not read the original, nor am I overly familiar with the story, so it was honestly all quite new to me, plot-wise. I have to say, even with the female centered narrative voice, there were still incredibly strong tones of patriarchy and a deep lack of control over her own life that made me feel deeply for Panchaali. I recognize that that's the most accurate way to present the story, even with the reframing to be more female-focused here, but I do want to make sure my frustration over that is clear, cause it sucked to read. But it was faithful to the original in that way, and gave Panchaali what I can only assume is significantly more space and consideration than she ever was given regardless, and I appreciate what the author did, compromising those two ends of a spectrum. Plus, I was invested in the unfolding of everything, frustrations about social realities of the time aside, and that's good writing and I respect it. 

 

Relatedly, I want to say how much I love that Panchaali was allowed to be so flawed here. She made so many decisions that were selfish, prideful, against advice, in direct conflict with what she wanted, or just didn't feel "right," and she explains reasons for them all, but you're still annoyed about some of it. But we, none of us, are perfect - we make selfish and inadvisable choices all the time - and I love that she was given the chance to be that human here, to have those relatable dimensions. I have done some further research about her since reading this, of course, and have found out she is seen as a goddess in some areas/to some sects in India, and it's believed that her name carries power(s) when recited. This is so interesting because in reading about her here, even given her own voice, she is more part of a greater flow of fate, as opposed to having the power to change/do anything herself... I know that acceptance of what is preordained/destined is a major part of many belief systems, and honoring those who manage/survive that tide makes sense, but it still felt like a unique, kind of contraposed, juxtaposition to me. 

 

Outside of Panchaali herself, like I said, the plot definitely carried me. I was very interested in trying to identify all the aspects of this story that made it such a popular and important cultural cornerstone of an epic. It definitely has all the drama: cycles of revenge, war, undercover personas and revels (oh that final secret family relationship reveal at the end was a surprise!), romance (ish, and a heavy dose of unrequited/unfulfilled love), insults and confrontations, political machinations, a difficult mother-in-law and other intra-family struggles that are universally relatable, prophecy and tragedy, and of course, a bit of gods and magic. I liked most of it, especially the mystical aspects. I was less enamored by the sort of overwhelming pride that, in the end, was the cause of most of the tragedy. It's not my favorite personality failing to read, despite it being common and very real, especially when it shows as hypocritical, like it did at the end, when men abandoned all "virtue and honor" that their pride was supposedly defending/revenging insults against, in the face of war/battle.  

 

As a lovely final note, I really appreciated the ending. As Panchaali is looking back on her life, there is a gorgeous highlighting of the gift that is friendship and platonic love. That's not normally something I see highlighted, in general, but especially in fantasy. And like I said, I really liked that. Also, as an FYI, the writing itself was objectively solid. It was very "narrating my own memoir looking back" with *strong* foreshadow vibes, similar to other retellings like Kaikayi and The Witch's Heart and, a bit, Circe. So, if you enjoyed any of those, I would recommend giving this lesser-known one a try.    

 

 

“…for a story gains power with retelling.” 

 

“He believes it to be so. Isn't that what truth is? The force of a person's believing seeps into those around him— into the very earth and air and water—until there's nothing else.” 

 

“Fear makes us selfish.” 

 

“For isn't that what our homes are ultimately, our fantasies made corporeal, our secret selves exposed? The converse is also true: we grow to become that which we live within.” 

 

“Expectations are like hidden rocks in your path—all they do is trip you up.” 

 

“Your childhood hunger is the one that never leaves you.” 

 

“Because ultimately only the witness—and not the actors— knows the truth.” 

 

“How little we know our own reputations…” 

 

“…war is like an avalanche. Once begun, it cannot cease until it has wreaked all the destruction it is capable of.” 

 

“In this way the chariot of vengeance, which requires no horses or wheels, rolled on.” 

 

“I am buoyant and expansive and uncontainable—but I always was so, only I never knew it! I am beyond name and gender and the imprisoning patterns of ego.” 

 

 

Well, this exploded onto the literary scene last year and there was no chance I wasn’t going to read it. A cozy fantasy about a coffee shop with a sapphic (ish – I mean they both sue she/her but also aren’t technically human so, idk exactly what that means), and a blurb that talked about how it was the “what happens after the D&D campaign ends” plot. Plus, I don’t think I saw any negatives vibes about this book at all. So. Yes, please. 

 

Viv is an orc who’s decided to hang up her sword and, essentially, retire. And what will she do with her retirement? Open a coffee shop, of course. In a city that has never heard of coffee before. It’s the kind of journey that takes a community and support. And even though Viv starts off solo, she stumbles into a heartwarming AF found family situation, gathering a builder/carpenter (Cal), an artist and server (Tandri), a baker (Thimble), a musician/mason (Pendry), and a few others. Drawn together by Viv’s dream, and buying into the concept completely, this group builds and rebuilds the coffee shop, while facing down some specters from Viv’s past, and some threats from other sources as well, to create a space that is safe and homey for them all. 

 

I mean, my goodness. The people were right. This is hella cozy. All the aspects of fantasy that I love – magic, multi-species, legends/folklore – with just enough antagonism to create interest and plot (never so much that I felt tense or overly concerned about the final outcome). Mostly just, comfort. All the highlights of building a business from the ground up, of working towards a dream, to make friends and a home in a new place, and just a dash of the stress and sleepless nights that come with that type of undertaking IRL. And as a person who drinks way more coffee than is likely healthy, or even useful, the fact that this entire novel (novella?) is essentially an ode to coffee, “like drinking the feeling of being peaceful,” spoke to my damn soul. 

 

This review is basically a list of things that made me cheese, and feel cheesy, while reading. The awkward and sweet discomfort Tandri and Viv have as they push and pull from friends to more(?) is so endearing. A solid found family situation is one of my favorite tropes of all time. The baking piece was mmmmmmmm. Introducing the most common coffee house treats to people with no frame of reference for them allowed me to rediscover the magic of the bitter coffee and sweet pastry combo and I’m grateful for that. The cover art gives top notch fanfic/fan-art (I cannot get over the detail of Tandri’s tail – it gives me feels). And the little chapter icons are a cute touch too. I love a good comeuppance epilogue! The bonus story, that was like an origin story to this “remaking” story, was enjoyable; I liked the little extra look into who Viv is as a “person.”  

 

Look, the message of “it’s the community/people around you who make home/belonging” is not new. But there’s a reason for that: it’s such a comforting and beautiful message. And Baldree gives it a creative face here that I simply loved. There is a wholesomeness in the promise that you can be worthy of kindness/support/love regardless of previous lifestyle/choices if your heart is right and that’s a lovely message, full of promise and hope. *deep sigh of contentment* 

 

“Things don’t have to stay as what they started out as.” 

 

“I’ve heard a lot of stories and a lot of legends in my time, and they’re always worse than the real thing.” 

 

“The darkness bristled with dangers, some perhaps even worth risking.” 

 

This series is really starting to remind me (as far as cravings fulfilled) of The Psy-Changeling fantasy-romance situation. And I say that complementarily. I had so much fun with (and was so entertained by) that series and I am getting just as much enjoyment out of this one. 

 

So this installment, the fifth, focuses on Aphrodite (the title currently held by Eris, the sister of Helen/Ares - one of the focal characters in the third book, Wicked Beauty, which is my fav to date - and the current Zeus). She volunteers to marry the new Hephaestus (Theseus, who was a contender for Ares and then took this Hephaestus role in the last book through the secret assassination clause), in a "keep your friends close and enemies closer" move, that breaks her ex's (Adonis') heart. The political machinations at play in this marriage are ureal, and everyone has an ulterior motive or someone else pulling their strings or some other secret. As Aphrodite and Hephaestus jump further into this power struggle, they are assisted by/partner with some outside players, like Adonis and Theseus' best friend Pandora. And as all these characters spend more time around each other, or cannot get over feelings from the past, the sexual tension ramps up and real connections begin to grow. Which it turns out they all need, because the danger all around them (from Theseus' father-figure Minos, as well as from citizens of Olympus trying their own hands at the assassination clause), is only growing greater. 

 

The dedication promises mess - and I was ready for it. It delivered. The on again-off again history, not-over-it, feelings between Aphrodite and Adonis. The butting-heads-but-always-there-for-each-other friendship of Pandora and Theseus. The immediate sexual tension and surprising tenderness between Adonis and Theseus. The blooming friendship/comfort between Pandora and Adonis. The enemies-to-lovers-to-reluctant-real-feelings-of-protectiveness between Theseus and Aphrodite. The soft and sweet something, but like, with heat, between Pandora and Aphrodite. It is great. After Cruel Beauty and a few other recent-ish reads (like A Dowry of Blood), I am really finding a love for polyamorous relationships. I mean, I need to point out that at a few points, there are some very real trauma-bonding and toxic AF moments amongst these characters (though there is always a clarity of consent that I deeply appreciate). But, there was also some legit growth (and lust/steamy scenes, naturally.) I really liked reading the development of all these relationships separately, knowing the dramatic turn where they all come together was coming (and that it was going to be explosive, in all the ways). And with the 4-person poly situation, there was a chance for a lot of different types of connections, which I loved, especially all the “casual intimacy” in these pages. The layers of relationships old and new, sexual and not, and honestly having all this support and love and casual intimacy is about as dimensional as a series like this allows for. Like I said, I think I'm fast becoming a big fan of polyamory; so much of the idea of different people filling different needs, but with commitment, appeals to me. 

 

A few other things I want to note. All through the series, I have really liked the casual inclusion of so many identities and sexualities, and even gender identities/diverse pronouns (though so far these have been utilized more by smaller/side characters, but they are at least there...and natural, not a point of trauma or contention. A highlight detail of this book for me was the inclusion and care for chronic pain/injury. And the plot/story arc for the series really deepened here. Things are getting dramatic and real and I am actually getting a bit invested in how that plays out for Olympus, past just my "I'm here for the spicy romances" level of interest in this series. On that note, I appreciate that the natural enmity - the conflicting loyalties - of our 4 MCs are not completely left behind/forgotten as the romantic relationship progresses. I mean it’s obviously surface level (this is still very primarily a romance), but it’s there as a part of the conflict and greater story, which is something. And as always, fantastic steamy scenes, of a variety of styles/types, which should be obvious. (Though still none of them match what we got with Helen/Patroclus/Achilles...who, let me just say, I was excited to see more of - as side characters, but still - in this book.) 

 

All in all, a solid installation. I'm already on the waitlist and ready for the next one.  

 

"I need her to lose control. It’s the only way I can regain it." 

 

"Everything about her is a nightmare in how perfect it is. A harpy in the body of a nymph." 

 

"...there’s no use railing against fundamental truth. It simply is." 

 

"I could be at home there. It felt almost wrong to want that in the moment, but maybe that was because it clashed with what I thought I should have." 

 

"I will never fault a person for doing what it takes to survive..." 

 

I love mythology. I love retellings. And I, like Babalola, love love. Plus, I enjoyed her debut romance novel Honey & Spice, when I read it last year. So really, reading this collection was a no brainer. And I managed to plan it to coincide with Valentine's Day this year so, check me out! Haha. 

 

Usually for short story collections, I do a little blurb on each story. I honestly hadn't planned to do that with this one, but as I was reading (listening), I found myself jotting things down for each of the stories anyways, so I figured why not share my thoughts with you as per usual. If you're interested, I'm starting with that. If you want just my overall impressions, skip to the end, and check out the final little paragraph. Oh! No real "blurb" for this, but just to make sure everyone is on the same page, as it were, this is a collection of retellings of love stories from mythology and history from across the world (Greek, African, Middle Eastern, and more). 

 

-          Osun: This story had great poetic/metaphorical back and forth dialogue and magical/ethereal storytelling. The relationship highlighted was one of those loves whose attraction and inevitably pulls stronger than nature or space or time. And it showed the epic and divine and transcendent love of being fully seen by a perfectly matched partner. Mmmmm. “She knew that sometimes having everything you desire can make you question your own worthiness.” and “It’s not about need, but desire.” 

-          Scheherazade: Love the multiple spins on storytelling (as a “job” and also at the end, to talk to someone every day to try to bring them back) and 1001 nights (taking one night at a time as a defense mechanism from her POV and then in suspension between life and death). Also, the mysterious quality to this story fits the original. The ending had huge feels (tragedy and revenge)! Also, I loved how this retelling really highlighted how much of the power is with Scheherazade. “I felt like there was an infinity within our affinity…” 

-          Nefertiti: Ohhhh lady gangsters! Look, I have a historic soft spot for Nefertiti’s story, but even without that, I loved this retelling. Women power and revenge and just, yessss. “…no queen can be a queen without also being a warrior.” 

-          Attem: A classic cross-social-classes/royal-not royal forbidden (infidelity) love that the deep connection of finding the person that fulfills and complements you makes it worth it, despite danger. Ok and my heart with the carved leopards in dedication and remembrance and that’s how she found him again. And then the “gift” he was able to give “the woman who already had everything.” Again, my heart. 

-          Yaa: Freeing yourself from the burden of expectation/duty in order to “choose yourself” is such a powerful message. And the way finding a pure love for someone else (the person that sees past the outside to the inner you, the person that then becomes home) can help you find and love your real self too – yes. What a cathartic spontaneous ending! “Love immediately pulled at her. It was a kind of love she’d never known: unburdened, pure, and without exception. Transparent love, unqualified love.” 

-          Siya: Surrendering to that creeps-up-on-you-unexpectedly friends-to-lovers vibe is great. Love as distraction versus love as actually what matters most is a big message that’s well-developed here. Oh, when fear of a broken heart leads to suffocating that same heart. And that ending full of future promise was done so well. “Siya let go of thinking and allowed herself to feel, and what she felt was held but not captured, at his mercy but all-powerful. She felt loved and loved and loved again.” 

-          Psyche: Love as the person who sees through your BS to make a real (genuinely messy and cheesy) connection. And OMG to this dual “realized and went to tell you even if you don’t feel the same cause I reached a realization/breaking point” is so sweet - I cheesed hard. 

-          Naleli: Much younger than the characters in the rest of the stories so far and it was kind of jarring for that. However, it was a gorgeous coming of age/confidence story, accepting and loving yourself allows you to let others accept and love you too. 

-          Zhinu: A chance meeting and someone outside your normal scope/sphere being able to give you the space you need to be who you are (without pressure/expectation/ulterior motive) and open up a new future in that way, is such a wonderfully classic romance story. The fantastic sarcastic dialogue and sweet/hopeful ending were a great contrast. 

-          Thisbe: This was the first (maybe only?) dual POV story and I loved how it unfolded. Falling in love by catching snatches of who the other is from “afar” and finding comfort in that separated proximity. This one had a different feel to it than the others and I liked the way it went a lot – so sweet. 

-          Tiara: This one had fun formatting too, with Tiara’s tips. The relationship highlight here is on the “big gesture” and that’s a romance staple that I’m glad we got before the end of the collection. 

-          Orin: Oh, fantastic dialogue in this one. I too love a rosé! Ahhhh you *can* have both excitement and stability in a partner, and you deserve it, and you should look for the partner you want, and I love this match where these two found that. “Hope, innit? That’s not a bad thing. It’s not a character failing.” 

-          Alagomeji: Ok, this is based on Babalola’s own parents?! Stahhhhhp. I cannot. The writing is like a classic fairy tale. And the letters, oh my heart! “Time was constructed with love in mind. It is why the moments before a desired kiss stretch, why when your lips are finally introduced with another pair, it feels as if they have wanted to meet for some time, and why a day with your loved one can feel like an eternity on turbo-speed. Achingly, deliciously slow, but too fast, over too quick, melting between too-hot fingers. Time and love are intertwined, they are both measures of life, they are the two clocks.” 

 

So, my overall reactions. Basically, I loved this collection. It was diverse, as far as origin, with a great variety of genres and vibes to the stories themselves. It is worth noting that the relationships in these pages were hetero/straight (except for one), as the myths Babalola chose all began as. And I wouldn’t have hated a little more diversity there, but I truly enjoyed each story that was included regardless. and if you are looking for something similar, but with a diversity of relationships styles too, I'd suggest (as a nonfiction comp read) The Sex Lives of African Women. In any case, the love for love is raw in these pages. There is no coyness or attempt to be anything other than an ode to love. Each story ends with happiness and/or hope in a way that filled my heart so full. And I loved that. Random, but I thought the little icons under the titles for each chapter (each was named for the female lead: big yes to that!) were cute and I enjoyed seeing how they tied into the story afterwards. A fun touch. Honestly, I know I didn't catch all the references and nods to originals, but I enjoyed all the stories anyways, even the ones I knew less about. And I loved looking up new mythology (always a favorite of mine). Of the ones I did know more of, and based on my basic research into the others, a common theme among them all is that the originals were all born from violence and misogyny, with tragic, upsetting, miserable and/or downright horrific, endings for the lovers (and especially the women). This reclaiming of happier and more hopeful endings for these stories, giving them full expressions of self and interpersonal love, was so uplifting. And the added lady strength and power throughout really spoke to my soul. All in all, like I said, this was such a lovely, heart-filling, collection of love.     

 

This is one of the most polarizing love-hate reaction books I've seen recently. So, of course, I had to see for myself. It's a little late, as far as the peak timing of the conversation about it (it was published two years ago now), but I'm ready to weigh in. And, spoilers, I am  so glad I read it for myself! 

 

It's been five years since Feyi survived the car accident that killed her husband and love of her life. And she's finally starting to live again: living with her bestie, Joy, creating art in her own studio, and maybe getting back into the dating scene. After a steamy encounter at a party gets her back into things with a bang (#sorrynotsorry), she finds herself talking to another guy, Nasir, who invites her to spend some time with his at his family home on an (unnamed) Caribbean island *and* show her work as part of a major show. She goes (like, who wouldn't?). And in addition to the luxury home and offer for a major break in her artistic career, Feyi meets Nasir's father, a world-renowned chef, Alim. The connection between them is strong and hot and, though both try to ignore it, the pull is too much to resist (and things get a bit messy after that).     

 

Alright y'all. I see why everyone had such strong reactions to this book. I had one too. And you can officially mark me as "Team Feyi" - I'm falling on the "love" side of this love-hate dichotomy. At about twenty percent of the way into reading, I wrote this: "More than anything I’m impressed with this nuanced look at getting over a love lost traumatically. Balancing the need to be close to someone else versus the fear and guilt of letting that happen again...and the (much) easier option of keeping things light/unattached/in no way reminiscent of what the past held." I kept waiting and waiting for the other shoe to drop, for the part where I was like "oh no, Feyi, cringe." But, it just never happened. Did things get dramatic and messy? Oh, big yes. There was no way to avoid that with a setup like this (it would have been disingenuous and a much worse story). And yet. I never stopped being impressed. 

 

Mainly, I got so emotionally invested in Feyi and Alim. The small (and then growing) moments between them were so touching. It hurt to read their pain, and that absolutely leaned me into "cheering" for them (just the idea of losing my own love in that kind of traumatic way, in any way really, leaves me devastated so I am inclined to support pretty much any style of coping/recovery, tbh). But it was also soothing and hopeful, the way they were able to connect through and because of those shared experiences and feelings. (The sexual tension was top notch.) I mean yes, a few times, knowing that they knew the draw between them was powerful, they did make some slightly questionable choices. And mayyyyyybe Feyi "led Nasir on" a bit, but also let's talk about how friend-zoning and her "owing" a feeling somehow (one she hoped would develop, but just...didn't) is BS and I'm disinclined to feel bad for him in that respect. However, I also feel like Feyi and Alim did recognize how difficult things would be for Nasir and the way things fell out was a bit outside their control? Also, Nasir's reaction was a lot and honestly didn't help me feel any more sympathetic towards him. For me, it came down to the fact that the connection between Feyi and Alim was so clear and deep and bound up in some tender and painful parallel memories. They bonded on a deeper level and, to me, it makes sense that it’d be difficult to resist that. 

 

Also, beyond Feyi and Alim, there were so many other aspects of this novel and reading experience that I loved. Joy is a chaotic bestie and was entertaining AF to read. I loved the way Feyi used art to cope and express (and I loved the pieces that she made!). The installation especially,  it hit hard and raw and leaves behind, as one of the “curators” said, a very real ache. I was here for the bisexual rep from characters who had both had more hetero-looking relationships previously and here, with each other, while also sharing, on-page, same-sex experiences they'd had. Sort of on that topic, I very, very rarely read anything with a parent coming out to their children, especially in a situation where it doesn't go well. (It sort of happened in All My Mother’s Lovers, but that was a very different vibes/situation style novel.) It was (surprisingly, though idk why I feel that way because it wouldn’t have felt like a surprise if the ages were reversed…maybe I hope for more acceptance/inclusivity from younger generations as a rule, maybe just because it’s an unfamiliar story) particularly heart-wrenching. And, though I would expect nothing less from Emezi at this point (after reading Freshwater and The Death of Vivek Oji) the writing was gorgeous and original and poetically descriptive and, overall, really stunning.  

 

To reiterate, in case there was any way you missed it, I loved this book. I have already recommended it to numerous people, and I will continue to do so. #sorrynotsorry 

 

"I think we’re just figuring out how to survive a world on fire… that it’s okay to be alive.” 

 

"Everyone had a right to keep some hurts buried and private." 

 

"...they were turning her into a woman who wanted so loudly that it was drowning out the logic of a choice, and that terrified Feyi. That felt dangerous, fast and menacing. She had to get away from it." 

 

"She was hers; she was alive; there was so much to do." 

 

“I used to try to capture it in a camera when I was younger. It was… so futile.” He laughed. “Some things are only meant to exist in our eyes, I think.” 

 

"She let too many secrets fall into the syllables, a foolish accident that threaded a vein of hunger into her voice..." 

 

'"...there are so many different types of love, so many ways someone can stay committed to you, stay in your life even if y’all aren’t together, you know? And none of these ways are more important than the other.” 

 

"Feyi’s heart beat wildly against her ribs as the taste of mango detonated in her mouth. She felt like she was leaping off a waterfall, the rush of a river clamoring in her ears." 

 

"Showing work like this felt a little like screaming out loud in a public place, screaming and screaming until someone understood what the fuck had happened to her, until it drove them to silence because there was nothing, nothing any of them could say to make it better." 

 

"None of this mattered, except the parts that did." 

 

"I want you—I want us to know that this is real. That it survives the mountain, that it can cross the sea and still be there, in our hearts.” 

 

I have had Adjei-Brenyah's collection of stories, Friday Black, on my TBR list and physically on my bookshelf, for literal years now. But...the intrigue for this was too much and it won out even though it's a later publication. It made so many "best of the year" and awards lists for last year that I just needed to know what all the hype was about. Plus, a friend told me I had to get to it sooner rather than later. So, I did. 

 

Borrowing/adjusting this blurb from Goodreads because I need the help on this one. Plus, now that I kind of started doing this more often, it's hard to stop. It's such a time-saver! "Loretta Thurwar and Hamara "Hurricane Staxxx" Stacker are the stars of Chain-Gang All-Stars, the cornerstone of CAPE, or Criminal Action Penal Entertainment, a highly-popular, highly-controversial, profit-raising program in America's increasingly dominant private prison industry. It's the return of the gladiators and prisoners are competing for the ultimate prize: their freedom. In CAPE, prisoners travel as Links in Chain-Gangs, competing in death-matches for packed arenas with righteous protestors at the gates. Thurwar and Staxxx, both teammates and lovers, are the fan favorites. And if all goes well, Thurwar will be free in just a few matches, a fact she carries as heavily as her lethal hammer. As she prepares to leave her fellow Links, she considers how she might help preserve their humanity, in defiance of these so-called games, but CAPE's corporate owners will stop at nothing to protect their status quo and the obstacles they lay in Thurwar's path have devastating consequences." 

 

I'm not sure I can add much that hasn't already been said to the conversation about this book, but you know I'm going to try, because that's what I do. Plus, I had so many reactions. First and foremost, this deserved all the accolades it has gotten. It was like, too real. But in that horrifyingly immediate way that makes its content and messages that much more impactful and, therefore, heightens the quality of the literature in incredible ways. With the history of gladiators being a real one, and the nigh on dystopian present-day-slavery reality of the US incarceration system as it is, this was, to repeat myself, too real. (Here's the thing - this terror/death-for-entertainment/dehumanization-of-the-incarcerated situation was also what made Hunger Games so big and at the time I couldn't get over how into that people were without any recognition that that future was like, so possible. I realize I was in a minority at the time, but this is even more possible, and perhaps even happening in part, and reading it was heavy. Phenomenal, as a literary experience, but heavy.) Anyways, for me, this proximity to reality was all in the details. That combination of the "justice" system, systemic inequality/racism and unchecked end-stage capitalism, that is borne out through specifics like the branded (like sponsor-branded) weapons and armor and gear, the sports-style commentary/reality tv qualities - complete with commercials and pay per view, the footnotes with facts/stats about current laws/policies that legit exist right now that made this imminently recognizable/possible without all that much actual effort/imagination. Like, Adjei-Brenyah brought receipts. And those provided a necessary gravity and grounding. 

 

I also deeply appreciated the depth and nuance Adjei-Brenyah brought to this novel with the breadth of characters/POVs that he included. While Thurwar and Staxxx are, of course, the central characters and the story primarily revolves around their relationship(s) and the build to their finale, we also get direct narrative voices of: the primary announcer/commentator, other "Links" on their Chain, opponent "Links," fans (some very enthusiastic and some with developing interest), the Chain's driver, protesters, family/friends of Thurwar and Staxxx, CAPE/tv executives, and more. These POVs showcase the myriad effects of this dehumanizing "choice" to take part in CAPE as an alternative to the (worsening) situations of "normal" incarceration, the courage and convictions of those that oppose CAPE (and the failed experiment of the current "justice" system) as they fight for change, the astounding levels of disassociation from humanity displayed by those who get off on or financially benefit from CAPE, and the way that everyday complacency (cause it’s just easier) equates to complicity (which is in many ways the most insidious). And really, at times, some of these perspectives took some turns that made me feel truly ill and creeped-out. On the whole though, the development of all the characters and characterizations is top notch - it's neutral in its portrayal in a way that dominant narrative about the populations in question rarely are (with biases, and benefit of the doubt or not, going in multiple directions for the multiple included POVs), allowing the reader to draw conclusions for themselves, making the conclusions drawn that much more powerful. 

 

One of the best pieces is the way he makes you consider so many topics/aspects of social justice. This is a calling out of capitalism and the prison industrial complex like I’ve never experienced before. (At least fictionally. I definitely recommend complementary nonfiction reads like Bird Uncaged in addition to this novel.) But yea, this is such a varied look at the many reasons (legitimate and less so and not at all) that people end up incarcerated. And it forces a salient and necessary interrogation of what a person “deserves” and how to mete that out and who is the arbiter of that. In one of the sections focused on the protestors, the arguments for abolition/prisons as a failed experiment does a great job summarizing the leading theory/philosophy/arguments on this topic, and addresses head on all the "danger" and "fear" arguments of the opposition (and just - there is so much evil born out of that fear and the deeply misplaced effort at relieving it; what an immeasurable tragedy that is). There is an acknowledgement that there aren't easy answers, but that what we have now is not it and shouldn't we try to be better? One more note on the protesters that I appreciated was the way their efforts are noticed and appreciated by those they're working to benefit (and for many reasons, very necessary), and yet, are not able to make enough change, or make it fast enough, to save so many. Again, what a tragedy that we've allowed this reality (and make no mistake, this is not simply a part of this dystopian plot line, but a very real part of present day life). I also could not get over the fact that these murders are not seen as real ones. Like, people are forced into CAPE due to previous crimes (many of which are murder!), and yet the road to clemency of sentence somehow rests in more murders (but these ones are not recognized under law in the same way)?! What a stark and striking commentary on life, and whose are worth something (worth anything), and how deaths of the incarcerated population (even now IRL) do not register as real or worth mourning to the general population/past those that know them. And seriously, the hypocrisy in of people (fans! of this freaking blood sport) calling "impurity" at someone’s sexuality or crimes (like "rightfully imprisoning" someone for rape/murder), yet fully support a “sport” where you kill more and somehow believe that doesn’t endanger one’s soul?? I cannot.   

 

I feel like I must mention, in addition to everything else, that this is straight-up a page-turner. The story itself is absolutely mesmerizing. Like yes, the characters and social justice messaging and thought/discussion points are all really the highlights for me. And, while I almost hate to say it because I feel like it supports the points that the entire novel is making, that the entertainment of the masses is worth the lives and dignity of the "other," I can't ignore that fact that I could not put this book down. 

 

Y'all. In so many ways Adjei-Brenyah made something great here. The whole novel really, but that ending especially was just...stunning. As in, I feel stunned upon finishing it. Oooooof. But even within all that intensity and heaviness, even if I can’t tell exactly how, or can’t quite find words to describe it, there’s also some incisive messaging about the ways humanity can help itself, can rise above what the elite minority proclaims, if the rest of us work together in support instead of competition and arbitrarily created hierarchies.  We can, together, subvert this “circus of justice.” This is just absolutely, incredibly compelling writing. 

 

 

“In some sick irony, the deadlier she proved herself to be, the fewer precautions the men and women who shuffled her between performances took with her. Often it seemed that they wanted to align themselves with her. Her success, she knew, legitimized something in their minds.” 

 

“They paint the walls with words. They build walls with their words.” 

 

“…every failure to fail was a wound reopened.” 

 

“What owns me is my own wrong and nothing else.” 

 

“...many politicians had already appeared before holostreams to implore nonviolence. An absurd thing for the murderous state to plead for, but, as always, the massive violence of the state was 'justice,' was 'law and order,' and resistance to perpetual violence was an act of terror." 

 

 “They don’t mind if they kill us. It’s how they kill us they’re particular about.” 

 

“When survival is difficult something in you begs the attempt. When it's easy, it's a different thing entirely.” 

 

“There is a space in time when violence tears through from imagined to physical - and if that physical is met with more physical, then the violence can become both the vehicle and driver for all that comes after, and what has escaped can be incredibly difficult to contain. [...] The truest human virus multiplied through the masses. The violence took control.” 

 

“He prayed for […] the silent in cages all around the world. All those smothered by other men’s fear.” 

 

“What I’m saying is, that’s a whole lotta prisoners for a land that claims free.” 

 

“When you think of us, remember that just because something is, doesn't mean it can't change, and just because you haven't seen something before, that doesn't mean it's impossible.” 

 

Shoutout to @booksnblazers for putting this one on my radar! And then thanks to NetGalley and Dial Press for granting my request for the eARC. I am not usually a sports romance person. I have tried a few. (I read Intercepted by Alexa Martin a few years ago and thought it was ok. And maybe others I have forgotten?) And I have not yet tried to (in)famous hockey situation yet... But this trans and queer minor league baseball (insert inflammatory opinion about how baseball is more of a pastime than a sport anyways) situation intrigued me. 

 

Quick synopsis. Gene Ionescu is an underdog, an optimist, and is *just about* living all his dreams, playing as part of a minor league baseball team (the first openly trans player to do so) in Oregon, the Beaverton Beavers. He's got everything carefully balanced out, until his former teammate, Luis Estrada, is traded to the Beavers. Gene and Luis just do not get along, and their inability to play together is putting the team into a tough - losing a lot - place. So, for the sake of the team, they begrudgingly start doing some extra practice time together...and the tension between them turns to a different sort altogether. Now, Gene and Luis are trying to balance totally new things, like their individual dreams of playing in the majors (or not, as it turns out) and their beliefs (or not, again, as it were) that they can pursue both that and be together. 

 

Look, like I said, I don't do baseball. I think it's a silly sport. But I won't lie - I do enjoy the social aspect of going to watch the local team (the Durham Bulls!) now and again. And it turns out that I really did enjoy reading this and imagining this team, their relationships and dramas and all of it, happening in that setting. It was low-key more fun than I'd anticipated. Also, I was entirely in support of this taking over “America's pastime” with queer characters. That is everything I want in a sports-based socio-cultural upheaval! One more sports comment... I thought the inclusion of the local game/color commentators was such a great nod to the uniqueness of small town/local sports. Granted my experience with that kind of commentary is all soccer-related, but I think the vibes are similar. And it was a really fun aspect and a great way to move the story forward quickly, at a few points (the baseball season is so long!), and I appreciated that. 

 

As far as the rest of the book goes, Gene and Luis are so painfully, but sweetly, awkward. I was a little worried to start, because this is a :just one POV" romance (Gene's), and I was afraid of Luis being able to get over his tough first impressions without his own narrative voice, but it turned out just fine. The enemies-to-lovers turn felt successful and genuine. They both ended up being so vulnerable with each other (content warning and shoutout for very real anxiety and panic attack rep) and I couldn't get enough of that. I was also super happy with the overall way this played out, both with the relationship and with the baseball career storylines. There was a lot of messaging about following your own dreams, giving yourself the space to decide what exactly those dreams are, for yourself, and then allowing yourself to want and go for them. (A note here, there was also a wonderful side-story, two really, about also knowing when it's time to let a dream go and find new ones - it was heartbreaking and fulfilling at the same time). Overall, there was a lot of emotional maturity showcased in this novel and I do love that in a romance. 

 

Two random highlights: The Kyles. I mean all the teammates, really, but those three were great. Alright fine, also Vince. And the manager. Ok fine, the side characters were all really good (and very diverse!). The bonus material at the end - the walkout song list, the annotated bagel recipe and running playlist - were super fun and sweet additions. 

 

Finally, I want to note that this book is so goddamn hopeful that it hurts. And that’s a feeling that is so important to have, now and again, and to remember how it feels. In reading the Author's Note, that seemed to be a major purpose in the writing of this novel. And I want Hoffman to know that It. Came. Through. Maybe not everything that happens seems possible right now. But that doesn't mean it won't ever be, or that that's a reason not to try/dream for it, and that is the message. The unabashed joy in being who you are - in regards to both gender and sexuality - is on full display here. And even if it's not always/universally supported, it's still very, very worth focusing on the many who DO support, and celebrate, that inclusion. When I finished reading this, I felt full. I love that feeling. Everyone deserves to have it, to see it for themselves and people like themselves. Beautiful. 

 

"Love without the details, he has always found, is easier to receive." 

 

"...there's something a little freeing in admitting to yourself that something will scare you no matter how well you prepare." 

 

"But the other part, the part that queer people maybe understand better than anyone else, is the act of a parent changing the shape of their home so it can fit you, and loving you as much as they always have. More, because they know you better now." 

 

"Hope can be selfless. But wanting feels selfish, and wanting means disappointment. / Hope doesn't? / Hope and optimism, are, like...shots in the dark. Wanting is specific, and it's hungry. It's nuance." 

 

"It is absolutely like Gene to force himself not to want something just because the possibility of not getting it, the grief of losing something he never had, hurts too much. It's one of his best skills." 

 

"You were literally made to be on a baseball diamond. Which is kind of incredible, because you were also not at all made to be on a baseball diamond." 

 

I read, and loved, A Dowry of Blood when it came out a year or so ago. So when I saw this sapphic dark academia vampire situation from Gibson on NetGalley, I requested it immediately. And I was hype (thanks Orbit) when I was approved for an eARC. Then I saw it was a sorta retelling/inspired by Carmilla, which I'd had on my TBR shelf for a little while, so I decided to read that first, for full context. And then, finally, I was able to jump into this. And let me tell you....it delivered. 

 

I'm behind on reviews, so I'm borrowing/adapting from Goodreads for this synopsis: Deep in the forgotten hills of Massachusetts stands Saint Perpetua's College. On her first day of class, Laura Sheridan is thrust into an intense academic rivalry with the beautiful and enigmatic Carmilla. Together, they are drawn into the confidence of their demanding poetry professor, De Lafontaine, who holds her own dark obsession with Carmilla. As their rivalry blossoms into something far more delicious, Laura must confront her own hungers. And now that they're deeply tangled in a sinister game of politics, bloodthirsty professors and dark magic, Laura and Carmilla (individually and together) must decide how much they are willing to sacrifice in their ruthless pursuit of knowledge and art. 

 

Alright, I said this novel delivered. Now, let me tell you how. The vibes hit fast and hard and early and they are spot on, as far as the Carmilla source material and the general sapphic, gothic, dark academia that the blurb promises. It's definitely there in the setting: rural New England all girls school with enigmatic professors and women budding into adulthood expressing themselves in poetry and cult-ish style ceremonies and parties. And of course it's in the plot: academic rivalry and sexual exploration/coming of age and the mystery of De Lafontaine's presence at the school and, of course, all the vampire situation. I'm trying not to spoil anything here, but the dramatic and "ending the cycle" storyline related to these vampiric relationships was so well done. 

 

On that note, the real and true highlight  of the vibes was the characters and their relationships with each other. The toxic emotional manipulation, the combative attraction and inexorable pull of antagonism that turns to desire, the casual cruelty, the jealousy and loneliness and suppressed feelings, the mercuriality of all three MCs (Camilla and De Lafontaine and even Laura) was developed so well. It's all unhealthy AF and yet utterly mesmerizing and somehow I found myself still cheering(?) for all three of them. These relationships were exhausting to read and yet I could not, didn't want to, look away. Phew. There is a fascinating questioning of whether love almost cannot help but turn capricious, when one lives forever (can boredom be avoided when one has that many years) OR whether it is just that those who are naturally capricious are the ones yearning for, and thus finding/choosing, that forever life. I got some very real Spike and Drusilla feels from that and, since I cannot help but love Spike and Drusilla, made this reading experience that much better for me. 

 

A few other things really stood out to me that I want to mention as well. I loved the flipping of control, of who does the "debauching" here, as compared to the original Carmilla. While Carmilla herself still has the outer appearance of rebel and "bad" influence (and of course still introduces Laura to the vampiric side of the story), and Laura’s facade is still quiet and demure, we see a real power balance flip in their actual relationship, with Laura taking charge and Carmilla submitting. And I was absolutely here for that. I got a non-traditional sort of polyamorous complex-and-not-always-healthy relying on each other (and yet in the end that connection prevails for a safe ending) among our three MCs that was reminiscent of A Dowry of Blood, in some ways. I didn't hate that call back, since I really enjoyed that story. I was also really satisfied with the ending: a breaking of a cycle, but recognizing and keeping the “good” parts of the “darkness” lifestyle. Plus, in a smaller way, I was particularly pleased with the way the story ends for Laura: with a choice, but no clear decision, with a coming into her own and the freedom in owning who she is, no matter which path she takes. It's the exact right "open-ended, darkly hopeful" vibe that fits with the rest of the story and the fact that, with immortality in the mix, there can never be a real ending anyways. 

 

Overall, this was everything I wanted it to be. There were some new twists and different directions, but it remained, at its core, a spectacular version of exactly what it promised. And I am so, so sated by it. 

 

"Love and pain grew in a thorny grove inside me, impossible to disentangle from one another." 

 

"I learned how to survive in the cutthroat world of girlhood, where all strangeness was unrooted as ruthlessly as weeds from a garden." 

 

"She was the kind of woman I would have liked to grow into; confident and poised and aesthetically cohesive." 

 

"Right and wrong don't exist, Laura. They're fairy tales made up by priests and parents. There is only art and ugliness, and I'm willing to suffer any indignity for the sake of art." 

 

"We were happy, for a time. But love rots and spoils, it disintegrates with time like a rose in a vase, and soon there was nothing between us but animosity and arguments and the resentfulness of having to rely on each other." 

 

"A sensible girl would leave. A good girl most certainly would. But I was tired of being sensible, and I was tired of being good. I couldn't walk away from what I was being offered: the chance to live an exceptional life." 

 

"Pure desire, distilled down into a heady elixir. It was to be, I realized with a creeping sense of dread, the rest of my life." 

 

"I felt like the burning sun at the heart of the universe, the white-hot center of gravity, and Carmilla was every orbiting star. She was the velvety expanse of space wrapping around me, the kiss of asteroid dust against my exposed skin." 

 

"Relief at being loved and the anticipation of being handled as though I was anything but pooled warmly in my stomach." 

 

"She was in love, and that was dangerous. After all, what horror wouldn't I tolerate, if it was meted out by the hand of my beloved?" 

 

"The world was more enchanted that I had ever dreamed, but it was also more terrible and strange."