This book felt true to me. It didn't sugar coat, I didn't feel it fell into melodrama, but it spoke to the experiences I and a lot of people close to me have had with anxiety and related disorders. It felt the most like actually being teenage if any YA I have come across (I have not read a lot of YA admittedly). I loved the book.

I find it hard to rate, because there are flashes of brilliance in these concisely built poems. However as a collection I wanted ...I’m not sure exactly. I had moments of connection and catharsis and moments that I wasn’t sure why I was reading. Overall worth the read as it’s not dense or a major time commitment and there are some genuinely touching and moving pieces within.

This is a difficult book to rate. First I will say, I am definitely glad that I read it. The story is obviously disturbing and watching the long term effects Vanessa suffers as a result of her abuse is intentionally a very discomfiting experience. Others have pointed out, and correctly, that secondary characters lack depth to them and this is certainly the case. On the other hand, being trapped within the tunnel vision of the first person narration allows for a focus on the subtle horrors that echo through Vanessa’s life. I certainly agree it was too long- the last half could have been condensed significantly to similar effect. I also would have appreciated more exploration of her one other relationship that comes up only in the past tense, as those dynamics seemed complex but ultimately weren’t explored. The thing that sticks with me from this book is how Vanessa was made to fall in love with and therefore defend her abuser - and the extent to which she believed her abuse to be her fault and something that reflected her own flaws. A good and worthwhile read overall, that perhaps would have benefited from additional edits.