I was reading this while babysitting and just ended up never finishing it. 

This book is in many ways refreshingly mature and set in its tone. Paper Townes and The Fault in Our Stars felt sincerely unsure of their tone and who the characters were. This one is solid in those areas. My issue is that while it is clear John has put personal care into these characters... The main character's struggles with mental health are far too triggering for me to finish. If it wasn't I would enjoy and finish.

I have heard some rave reviews of this book and it became available all of a sudden on my library's Libby app so I picked it up. Man... almost an hour in and I just have no interest. The writing style sounds like someone trying to sound like Charles Dickens but failing so badly. The author's focus (Owens brought it up on multiple separate occasions in just what I read) between the difference between a marsh and a swamp felt elitist somehow... just weird and over-the-top. But the biggest turn-off was the clear "blackcent" writing that was being used to convey the characters are poor, uneducated, and black... and then the author couldn't for the life of her call anyone black. She just kept writing "tanned skin". 

Idk, feels like an old white woman trying too hard to sound like a superior writer while failing and being unable to authentically and respectfully write her black characters.

The Enders’ Shadow series is one of my all-time favs and so far I have enjoyed anything Ender’s Game related that I’ve read. Somewhere I just feel out of this book and have struggled for a year+ with wanting to pick it up but never actually being in the mood for it. I am just accepting that this is currently not something I’m finishing. I think if I ever want to re-read this pre-qual series then I will probably get to finishing this book. But until then… I’m accepting that it’s not something I’m interested in reading right now.

40% of the way through and I'm deciding to review and move to do not finish. I should have known from the synopsis this wasn't for me. But I was willing to give it a chance. There is nothing in the last 60% that could redeem it. Between the f-slur bomb, not well done romance, characters getting sexually aroused from a singular non-sexual chat message, and both characters being romantically in love with the idea of death enough so that talking about it let's them get "tingly" when the talk is just... *Pukes*. The girl getting "tingles" while telling the guy about her sisters death and then the descriptions of background characters "slurping" each other was enough to end this misery.

I listened to the first 30 minutes of the audiobook. I have had this on my "To Read" shelf for a long while. I was recommended it be a friend I made at a youth camp. They felt it was really impactful and it gave them a lot of comfort and direction. I personally identify as an Ambivert and if this friend was still in my life I might continue reading so I could discuss with them. As is, it just isn't hitting any notes I want to read about. The first 30 minutes come off as a little whiny as Cain establishes this idea that extroverts are some kind of oppressive group that people push you to assimilate into. The whole premise this book is building so it can then continue with combating this premise just doesn't resonate with me. I think I can safely say I gave it a try and just have no interest nor do I think the premise really holds up.

The characters and writing style seem overall fine and engaging. However, the overt and unneeded tones of racism are completely off-putting to me. I believe it is supposed to make the tone of the book more "gritty" and "real". But honestly, I don't think a book with a synopsis like this one has needs to feel more gritty and real by heaping racism into everything. Also, I am not entirely convinced that all the racism is intentional. Park is Asian American and certain inner monologues, like going on about his mom's accent and how she cannot get past it but that he thinks she keeps it for his white father... reads super weirdly to me. I could respect it if this book was written by someone writing about their lived experience. But from a white woman, it just reads very weirdly and is unnecessary, IMO. That is not to mention the blatant and over-the-top fat phobia. There was a good bit just dedicated to how Elanor is way fat compared to her mom, and if only she wasn't fat. And again, if this was just the characters' viewpoint and meant to build something... I would get it. But the narrator, all the other characters, and Elanor just keep harping on it. It isn't a description. It isn't a character trait. It is just a whole lot of "eww fat" peppered all over by everyone. 

I just cannot read a whole book with the above issues that seem to be constant background noise and not really something to deconstruct or think about.

I made it 10% of the way in. There are so far 2 points of view and both are in 1st person. One is interesting enough, though bitter, and the other is just annoying as all get out. The historical aspect could be interesting, but the POV that is in current times is just not worth reading through to get to the past POV. 

*Mild spoilers* the current POV, she threw her life away for a cheating POS who has put her down their whole relationship. She is distinctly aware of this even while she pines for him and wishes she could be pregnant and have a baby. (This is all revealed by page 20ish). That is fine, but not to my taste. What really kills the whole thing is how "not like other girls" she expresses herself, the way she blames others for her career not being what she wanted while having a nepotism job, and how she is written in general. She comes across as whinny, entitled, boring, and stupid all at the same time.

I just cannot. There are too many books to drag myself through this. 2 stars because maybe the historical aspect could have given it more umph as things go along... But what I read was a 1 star for me.