I found the premise interesting and was enjoying the build up. However, I wasn't enjoying how much the main character's weight was being emphasized. And then when the main character was "lumbering out of the car, unable to get out of the car like a normal person" I was not enjoying the details. And then the main character reveals she is 6 feet tall and 230 lbs... I was just done with how the whole weight thing was being handled. 

There are too many books for me to keep going when I'm just not feeling this now.

I respect what Jemisin is doing here. The concepts and ideas were clearly thought out and I actually loved the whole premise. I also think there are some fun and unique character voices. Clearly, a lot of thought went into this book. It is why I have gone through several cycles of putting it on hold, getting it, reading some... and generally trying my best to keep going. But...

I have only read 33% of this book in 4 months and I just don't see myself braving another cycle of the book having to be returned to my library and waiting on it to come back. I have had this book for the last 18 days and only read an additional 5% or so of this book. I think something about Jemisin's style of writing is just not right for me. Their prose feel to... blunt. Like they are trying to make it super alarmingly clear what the point of things is. Things just feel overly explained and discussed over and over and over. It makes reading the book feel like I'm being told what the book is and not like I'm reading the book and getting into any emersion. 

I was curious if maybe I could like Jemisin's other work and I in fact loved a short story/Novella they wrote for an Amazon Sci-Fi Novella collection. I didn't know they had written Emergency-Skin and it all makes sense. What worked for me in a short story is just clearly not working for me here. I am going to have to try other works by Jemisin in the future if I get a chance. But for now, this book is just not hitting for me.

I really enjoyed reading book one as a buddy read. But this book just... Idk. The ending of book 1 was chaos. This book just doesn't have the same intensity level as there feels like there is just so little going on and no real connections between the characters. 

We have decided to not continue reading this book and are now reading other books together instead. Was it fun to start? Yes. But I quickly lost interest and then continued reading for a good while in hopes it could find its footing. It just didn't. At least, not within the first half of the book. I am marking it as read to rate and review and then to the DNF pile it goes.

I am marking this book as read so I can move it to the DNF bookshelf. I have made my way 40% in and I am just not finding the plot engaging and I find some of the writing choices to feel too Juvineal for me. As a person who reads and loves YA still, I feel this book just particularly doesn't trust its readers. I think there is an inherent importance in an indigenous woman writing and sharing a story that so clearly leans in and appreciates indigenous practices, beliefs, and stories. So I'm giving this a 3-star while I decide to tap out. 

*semi spoilers coming, if you haven't read the book's description* 

I feel this book does a great job of showing the reader some beautiful things, and for a younger reader could make a great introduction to indigenous culture(s). As an adult person, I appreciate the explanations given regarding indigenous culture. This said I think Boulley leans really heavily into explaining, so much so that things become overexplained. I can use explanations regarding the protagonist's faith, herbs, and rituals. don't need multiple sentences (sometimes paragraphs) to explain pop-culture references, trust funds, that undercover cops exist, how guns are for shooting not hitting... and many other things. I think this book best serves a more middle-grade to a very young adult audience as it doesn't trust its reader to have any real context clues about a lot of things.

Nothing in me wants the first book I picked up this year to be a DNF... I had heard it was cute, fun, and full of great diversity. Maybe it is those things, but nothing about the main character's inner monologue during the first 5% of this book jived with me. She is so done with love, goes on and on about not getting that other people can react differently to the same event, and then goes on a slut shaming of her sister. 

*mild spoilers* I had to put down the book though when the main character says her sister has had "8 different boyfriends, which is an average of 0.667 boyfriends per month, or 0.154 boyfriends per week." Like... girl. Be fing for real. That isn't how math word problems work. No test would ask how many boyfriends Danika has had per month... one cannot have 0.667 a boyfriend in a month. One could be asked how many months each boyfriend lasts on average. But nobody can have 0.154 of a boyfriend a week. You either have 1 boyfriend, more boyfriends, or no boyfriends. One can only have a whole number of boyfriends... not a partial. Unless one cut up a boyfriend and only had 0.154 left of him... but that would be a more interesting story and not what this one was clearly going on to be.

Marking as finished so I can review and move to my Did Not Finish shelf. 

While I can see this being a life-changing book for many, I found reading the first 3rd to be quite a task. I appreciate the accessibility and emphasis made on women being normal for feeling however they do. However, I find the narrative to be quite tied to the gender binary, ignorant to non-straight relationships, and failing to acknowledge asexual people in any way. I appreciate what this book can do for the majority, but I don't appreciate minorities being unacknowledged and thus lacking any sense of being a current exploration of the topics presented. It feels very mid-2010's which isn't a real problem but is just not super relevant feeling to me. I did skim the book and there were a few nuggets of wisdom that I enjoyed though.

I was going to tear into this... but honestly, the time that would take isn't worth it. The first chapter was so bad there is no point in reading further as it was: 
- Homophobic/queerphobic (Manson makes fun of men wearing stockings) 
- It was sexist (in its approach of whom is worrying about what)
- Complete lack of nuance and acknowledgment of poor people existing (apparently we all have our needs and wants met in America, we just have to get our heads out of our asses to see it)
- And the worst crime, he idealizes the kind of dude-bro I never enjoyed being around in business school. The guys who are egotistical, self-absorbed, and chock-full of harming others without giving a fuck. 

Is calming anxiety a good idea? sure. Does this guy know what anxiety is? no. Does he have an interesting approach to discussing everyday normal worry? no. This book solidly doesn't matter in a post Black Lives Matter and Me Too movement era.