crispycritter's Reviews (516)

This is quite possibly the worst representation of femdom and I can’t for the life of me understand why this is recommended so often. A direct descendant of Fifty "I don't need safewords" Shades of Grey.

I'm a Kleypas stan yet had never read this book despite the Craven hype. For the uninitiated, in Lisa Kleypas lore, several male love interests rule them all. They are Sebastian "I can't be celibate, everybody knows that" Lord St. Vincent (Devil In Winter) and Derek Craven (from this book, Dreaming of You). Possibly Cam Rohan as well, from Devil in Winter and the Hathaways series. So color me disappointed when our man Derek Craven has a mf'in COCKNEY accent (Lisa, ma'am, no, there is no universe where this is a turn on). And he's a total butthead to Lily in the book before (he must sent her into another man's arms because he doesn't deserve her DRAMATIC INTERNAL CONFLICT!!). And the love interest we've paired him with is a shy country mouse without a discernible personality? Yaaaawwwwn. And there's an evil beautiful lady villain for no apparent reason? Some big big madonna whore vibes? Derek just needed to meet a nice, innocent lady to tame him? If you love this book I fear it may have been too long since you read it and it might be time for a re-read. Some of this stuff has not aged well.

But it's still a Kleypas book, so yeah I had a pretty good time. Because I'm not a hypocrite, Kleypas is just one of those blind spot authors. I dunno. I give her a pass for all this problematic nonsense. One star off because Derek is just a less interesting St. Vincent.

Super spicy take: Alex Raiford is far superior to Derek Craven. 

Lily's child is going to need a lot of therapy.

Big words and boob jokes. If you think you know what's going on, you don't. All around a bangin time.

I read Ice Planet Barbarians last year and gaslit myself into thinking it wasn’t as bad as I remembered it being.

Narrator: It was.

Listen, there’s just better alien smut out there. All I’m sayin. The best we can imagine is ending up on a pre-industrial planet with no birth control, years long alien-human gestation, AND a symbiotic virus that makes us unable to resist that sweet blue alien downstairs mix up? AND we can't even run around outside and do fun activities because snow and bitey things? Take me baaaaack to capitalism, please. I am ready to lean in, align, and synergize without complaint till death takes me TYSM.

*sigh* another overhyped Reylo fanfic. When will I learn. 

This is some D+ writing here. I tried. Dear r/romancebooks, some of y’all’s taste is whack. 

Hot alien tattooed nerd. It's not Shakespeare, but it'll do. If you wished the ladies of Ice Planet Barbarians had landed in a more advanced, egalitarian society with secret government conspiracies.

A solid stand in for Ice Planet Barbarians but far less horrifying despite the

underground human and alien trafficking and experimentation - sounds like a problem foooor book 2!

*X files theme song* also *bow chicka bow bow* oh yeah

These books are basically Blue Mountain State written from the female gaze.