clovetra's Reviews (262)

i am irrevocably changed after reading this book. 
this book was so magical in so many ways, and i genuinely think this book will stick with me for life. 
i'll be real, before the last ~100 pages i was expecting this to be a 4-star read. the last 100 pages were easily 5-star pages, but i will say i did experience *some* issues reading this.
for one, some parts of the story are quite confusing and unrealistic. unrealistic is like 99% of this book because kids are travelling into a mirror but from what was established in the universe, some things did not feel practical. 
for example, how kokoro reacts to her education & why she's not going. as someone who lowkey wagged a lot of year 7 in high school, i get her. but like... her reason is so unrealistic for not going! not trying to shame my girl but... idk i couldn't buy into the fact that *that* was what caused her to not go to school.... like idk as a fellow ex-school avoider it felt odd. and this same can apply for all the other students in the castle (minus rion my pookie). yet again not trying to shame non-existant characters or those who have avoided school for those reasons! i just..... don't believe it, which threw me out of the story many times.
also this is such an insane nitpick but i literally could NOT tell the difference between the male characters. by the end i could remember who rion was but..... all the others blended into one. this is such a unique experience because ive never had this happen to me..... like even in [book:Battle Royale|57891] i could somehow remember all the characters. this one? i had no idea who was who & i just prayed i was picturing the right person. 
simply because of those reasons it felt wrong to do a 5 star rating. if i was someone who half-starred books she would defo be a 4.5, but if i compare this with all my other 5-stars, idk this book feels better in the higher end of my 4-star ratings.
ok now let me gush about this book.
THE ENDINGGG????? ohhh the entire last chapter my ass was fucking BAWLING. i did not expect to go into this book crying???? i thought this was just some whimsical coming-of-age story.... i got hoodwinked /lh
i wanted to throw up i was crying that bad with the explanation of the castle.... did not go into that strong enough. like if i know a book is sad i will mentally prepare. i was not prepared!!!!
the character's bonds and friendships were quite beautiful to read, especially seeing each one come out of their shell more and more. 
the reveals were so unexpected but that's because i wasn't looking for them!! i was so comfy i was just reading, missing every sign ever. the plot twists didn't feel cheap but they also were still surprises! like if i actually paid attention and put together pieces i still don't think i would've reached the conclusions but tbh im not mad!! my ass is not good at deducting mysteries so i like the fact it was spelled out to me like i have no brain <3 (i don't have a brain)
anyways i didn't expect to have this book impact me this much. i will say i think it touched me a lot is because ive been in these kid's shoes! bullied, school avoidance, social anxiety, bedrotting (my beloved), horrible family life situations, overachieving, etc. i related a bit too deeply at times tbh, but i think that made me love this story even more!
i don't think im saying anything meaningful in this review but i had a fun time and u know what this book made me cry so in my mind that means the book was fire. 

holy shit. i don’t think ive enjoyed a book like that in a while, where im so engrossed i literally put life on hold to read it. sure, i love all my 5-star rankings, but so far only twilight was able to capture my immersion… which is embarrassing to admit at my grown age. except, now this novel falls into that category. 

this was fucking amazing.

so many plot twists. so many scathing passages. 

i felt every emotion. anger. sadness. confusion happiness. concern. joy.

even though there are only six chapters, each leaves you with a bit more information. and with every new piece of information is a new plot twist. 

from the first chapter alone i was hooked. i was thoroughly confused at first, but as i kept going, i became more and more invested, until the first of many bombshells is dropped in chapter one. from there, minato keeps rolling the punches, as she adds more depth to an already exhilarating story. 

can i also just say i love me a good fucked up story. and not just fucked up for the sake of being fucked up. you can really tell minato knows when to lull the reader into a comfortable state and rip the rug out underneath from them. and i promise you the more you keep going the twists keep getting more and more outlandish - but in a good way.

i’ve heard people say that this book is grating at times because each chapter follows a similar retelling of events but from another characters point of view - from a killer, to the teacher who has lost her child, to a mother of a killer, to a student. i found this to be enthralling! seeing underneath the surface of every character’s motivation, inner thoughts, and explanations to why they acted like x a chapter ago, or why they said y 50 pages ago. it was delectable

i don’t think i can honestly put into words how addicting this book is. if this were a book with a massive fandom (i don’t know if it has one sue me) i could smell myself forming a hyper-fixation on this story because my god was it beautiful.

literally my ass only has One gripe…. and that’s

the HIV plot threw me off track a bit, as i know HIV very likely won’t be transmitted through drinking blood of someone with HIV, or even sharing a meal or using a bathroom with someone HIV+. like that part threw me off so much when characters kept talking about “oh no i have HIV”…. like i damn well know u dont

. but even then honestly i don’t care enough to let that ruin my perception. this book was too yummy to be hung up on such a “small” detail, when everything else was done to perfection.

i swear if u like thrillers & haven’t read this bump it up ur tbr

wowowowow what a cute book!!!! i loved the cosy yet hopeful vibe this book had!!! ugh i understand why people love this so much. i want to just say the reason my rating is so “low” is simply because;

a) the book gets a bit formulaic at times - person’s life is doodoo, they go to the library, their life is a bit less doodoo solely by chance

b) these people’s lives are getting “better” often in abstract ways, or the changes literally happen at the drop of a dime. i would’ve preferred to see their progression be a bit more slow, even with chapters ending with less clear endings but still seem realistic (i get this is a magical realism book + it’s only like ~250 pages for so im asking a lot here but hey im being honest about my experience).

i will say i do like how there were individual chapters following 5 people in very different situations. i will also say i love how each story is connected, whether that be just simply because they all visit the library & were disillusioned with life prior to visiting, or in more significant ways such as characters reoccurring. i think its best for me to talk about my thoughts with each chapter, so here i go

chapter 1 (tomoka): i really liked this story! it was a nice chapter to ease me into this book. it’s also quite relatable seeing as i’m also a uni student, i get not liking part-time random retail jobs 💀 the ending was really cute though, and honestly i felt her chapter to be the most “believable”

chapter 2 (ryo): i’ll be candid, this was probably my second-least favourite chapter. i found ryo as a character to be a bit of a shithead because of how he is with his gf, but idk him visiting a cat cafe was very cute vibes. i wanted to visit a cat cafe whilst reading about a cat cafe. pretty mid imo

chapter 3 (natsumi): i liked this a lot! i enjoyed the theme of misogyny in the workplace + the commentary of being a working mother. the ending was really sweet as well! i would say this is probably my fav chapter!!!

chapter 4 (hiroya): easily least fav chapter, simply because sometimes i feel like him 💀💀 granted im at uni so im not a NEET but idk reading about him was a look in the mirror i did not like! i did think the ending was cute and honestly has kinda motivated me to look for a job at a bookstore? thanks for that hiroya ig

chapter 5 (masao): this chapter felt redundant to me. like we just had hiroya explaining life without a purpose because of not having a job….. and these chapters are back to back. i will say this story felt stronger simply because masao wasn’t a whiny baby (looking at u hiroya) but it felt repetitive with the themes!

overall this was a nice book! i sure had a fun time. sometimes i like my books to lack deeper meaning - if i don’t have to watch 3 youtube video essays to understand ur cozy book its a win for me. plus sometimes i just want to vibe not think whilst reading, and this book did that so well.

also shout out books within books i love this trope 🙏🙏

ok, there are many thoughts & feelings, but first i need to preface this saying yet again i hate saying anything negative to a small indie writer! double hate because cynthia so seems lovely & i hate the thought of trying to "disregard" someones work. i will say though this book heavily leans to the Y/A genre, so for anyone wanting to read this, keep that in mind. 
now i want to start this off by saying i did not like elsie. i don't think she reaches the realm of protagonists i love to hate, but i will say i found her quite.... insufferable. 
like girl....

how did you expect ada to act finding her grandma's ex gf without permission.....

. some of her behaviours are very..... insane. that's a bad way of wording it but. there's no thought behind elsie's eyes ever. girl does NOT realise actions have consequences. and now that i am almost officially out of the teen age-range, i just cant buy a teen being *this* dumb. like yeah sure im autistic so obv i wouldn't have had the regular shmegular teen experience but.... i just couldn't buy elsie. that was defo my main issue.
another point is how elsie bounces between crushes is so annoying to me. girl what are you doing??? 😭 ive defo done that before........... as a child. like fully 12 years old. what are we doing here.
i also found this book to be a bit..... rushed in some aspects? the ending defo felt rushed, and that it went from 0-100 in a split second.  some parts of the story dragged on and on and on, for instance with ada & the explanation of the in-universe comic book, and other parts rushed too quickly, like with her po po & uncle! like i want more of that!!!!
i will say tho i love me some queer rep esp with a cultural element. i related a lot with elsie's worry about coming out to her family, but i will say that it wore thin on me the more i progressed through the book.
i truly did enjoy this book and gobbled it tf up! i loved joan, but honestly i found i didn't care about the plot.... i just wanted to read about joan. she captivated me. 
ill be real, im lacking words to describe how i felt about this book. on one hand i read it whenever i had the chance & it never felt like it was dragging, and that this was an overall "easy" (lighthearted & comfy) book to read..... but on the other hand it was a bit predictable and lacked substance. i don't know what i was expecting though because this was a very cute read i would defo recommend snuggling under your covers for. i just think this wasn't my style - sadly i think ive started to reach the point where Y/A is wearing thin on me which BREAKS MY HEART! 
i reckon honestly if i read this book even 3 years ago i would've loved the shit out of it. but now im an adult doing Adult Things™, this book seems a bit too.... happy? 😭 im too cynical and this book was too happy for my perpetually grumpy ass.
i would defo recommend this book its super cute fluff that warms ur little heart!!! im just a massive cynic + im also beginning to realise i don't like the romance genre as much as i used to
anyways cynthia so if you see this thank you for giving us the lighthearted teen lesbian romance society needed.

sorry i find this book a bit too slow-paced for my tastes at the moment. maybe later down the track i’ll finish this but im not interested in reading slow-paced books at the moment 😔

let's not talk about how long it took me to finish this ok 
now i will start this off by saying out of the two currently published books in the death-cast series, this one is the best. ill be real tho and say its not by much. 
ill say that i find silvera's writing style a bit... repetitive? not saying its shit because it very much is not shit!! its just not something i prefer
like every so often an inspirational phrase like "im going to live my life, even if i die" or some shit is said and i want to put the book down from annoyance.
help this sounds so mean I DONT MEAN IT TO 😭
i will say orion & valentino are cute, and the added suspense surrounding the validity of death-cast is a nice added feature! i found with the other book in this series, i did not find myself experiencing any tension because you knew the main characters were going to die. i liked the added concern regarding if death-cast is legit or not! i mean it kind of was in vain and i knew that deep down but its fine i was delulu.
what else? most characters felt shallow to me, but i will say i did love love love gloria's story. valentino & orion i was a bit meh on.... but i liked seeing joaquin as well.
i don't know i think im not the target audience for this book. and that's ok! not every book is made for every reader! i held out hope that me not liking [book:They Both Die at the End|33385229] was isolated to that story and my feelings didn't extend to silvera's other stories, but sadly it did :( 
i could see myself reading the third instalment of this series, but other than that sadly i don't think i'd enjoy his other works. to me, they read quite surface level, are repetitive & i find the tone and pacing quite uncomfortable. for me. 
i hate writing negative reviews 

i need to preface this entire review by saying i love chloe hayden!!! ive been following her online since 2020, and i adore what shes done for the autistic community & in general her attitude to life!!! i also need to note that i am also autistic, so my experience reading this book may be vastly different to someone neurotypical reading this book, but obv i don't speak for other autistics' opinion on this book.
now, i wish i could say i liked this more.
2 stars seems incredibly harsh but it feels a bit wrong for me to bump it up a star as i didn't enjoy reading this if im honest, it began to feel like a chore. and i think that might be due to the fact im autistic.
i found this book to be quite educational, and honestly, this is my bad but i thought this was moreso a memoir rather than a self-help book, so my expectations were shot going into this ill admit. but i don't know hearing about how shit my life and the lives of other autistics' are was upsetting! i don't say this as a bad thing, i say this purely to explain my rating.
i think this was a beautiful book and honestly i would recommend this to everyone i know ever. but, for me it was not a good fit, a) because i know a lot about autism simply because psychology is my special interest, and b) it made me feel bad for myself? i don't doubt this was NOT hayden's intention, but seeing her succeed in life kinda idk.... made me sad i didn't get any support for my autism as a kid! sure maybe i masked too much so i fell through the cracks, but i kind of felt like "oh, this is what my life could've been like if i got support! yeah sure i'd still be autistic but hey at least i would be able to cope better and idk experience more of life" whilst reading this. i wouldn't even call it jealousy or envy, i would say it was eye-opening in ways i wish it wasn't. 
this review is nothing negative on hayden's book. i love chloe and she could do (almost) no wrong in my eyes. she is my aspiration in life. but i don't know this book put a lot in perspective for me that kind of made me depressed.
also, this is solely because im a dumbass, but i went in expecting more memoir aspects, and i was disappointed it was more a self-help book. like when chloe was talking about her experience at the titanic museums i was enjoying it quite a lot! i think the self-help aspect caused a lot of introspection i wasn't ready and looking for, which i think is the whole reason my enjoyment level was so low.
yet again i do like this book i just didn't have a good time </3 
chloe hayden if you somehow see this i did love this book i am so sorry 

oh that was cute!
i enjoyed seeing a smidgen of viv's past.
i will say tho this cemented to me i probably don't want to read bookshops & bonedust, simply because i was trying to get through this. i don't think i'd particularly enjoy the next book </3
anyways i liked the ending a lot its very cute
what else can i say this was only 33 pages

this book was very out of my comfort zone! a book whose sole goal is to be warm & cozy? a foreign concept to me, seeing as my favourite book is battle royale by koushun takami, but this was quite nice to dip my toes into the relaxing genre.
i will say, my major "issue" with this book is the amount of exposition needed that doesn't exist. im sorry because i had no idea what was going on lore-wise, i had no idea how to envision certain characters such as amity, cal, or thimble. granted, this could be a skill issue on my end! but it did still affect my reading experience negatively :(
i will also say viv felt incredibly one-dimensional, as did most other characters. i understand a book can have many minor characters and not suffer, but i felt like in this book it did. every time i was introduced to a recurring character i hadn't read about in a while i either had to flip back throughout the book or use good ol trusty google. my brain is too small to comprehend the vast amount of characters.
i will say tho this book was quite nice! i did enjoy not shitting my pants because the stakes werent so ridiculously high! i also loved that the

complete minuscule of conflict present was so anticlimactic!!!! lowkey i got a bit mad when some drama was starting because i was like 'wtf this is a cozy book'.... but then! the conflict! went nowhere! /pos

i will also say the pleasant edition of tandri & viv's relationship was enjoyed on my end!!!

also the random yet understandable sapphic relationship???? SIGN MY ASS UP!

honestly tho i think the main reasons i couldn't get into this book were because i had no idea wtf was going on! i had no idea about the universe! like i was wondering quite often if this was like. a sequel. like you cant tell me this book is a stand alone (if this book did have required supplemental reading that i didn't do i will kick myself so bad im so serious)
also i know i praised the book above for its relaxing atmosphere but. i got bored. like sure i would want to read it when i picked it up but.... because there were no stakes i wasn't prompted to pick up the book that often. like ok when the only stakes are if they get customers....... i got bored. this sounds so incredibly dismissive of baldree's writing and i don't mean it to be! i think this is just me learning that i need my books to have tension or else my little rat brain starts begging to read an incredibly fast-paced adventure story. 
um i think i will defo read the little short story "pages to fill" as my edition has that at the end but.... i don't know if ill be reading the prequel sadly :/ only time will tell though!

this book was heartbreaking in so many ways
ill be honest, i find trying to put my thoughts of this novel into words is quite difficult. i have many feelings over this story. 
i felt like crying most of the time whilst reading this book. i did not expect this book to be *this* harrowing. 
i love how there are perspectives from all three generations, and i enjoyed seeing each woman challenge the others thoughts and at times reinforce them.
ill be honest and say many aspects of this book were played up with an air of mystery, which seemed quite predictable for me. i don't feel like its right for me to comment on if its predictable nature was fair or not, but i will say it was a tad frustrating solely from a reader's perspective when mysteries were dragged on for so long.
i'll also say i am a bit disappointed at the ending. i understand the point of the last chapter - im not mad about that. i more so would've liked to see a general change in the atmosphere of fareeda's household. sure change doesn't happen over night, but i don't know, even possibly a chapter of fareeda

reconnecting with sarah, or deya visiting isra's grave

would've been nice. 
im conflicted on this book. it was quite a serious, emotional, and heavy story, which i usually stray from (i use my books as escapism, so reading incredibly depressing books usually destroys my mental health), but i will say this was written incredibly well. it feels tone-deaf to describe the writing as "beautiful" due to the content & subtext of this book, but i will say etaf rum has a magnificent way with words - it toes the line of lyrical yet colloquial which i adored. 
i was very tempted to give this 5 stars, but i didn't scramble to read this book at certain parts, but i will say at the end of part II is when i got really into this book. before that, i wont deny, i was gripped by the plot, but only once the plot picked up, so did my interest. i also do think some of the speech the characters use is a bit forced and clunky, but it wasn't a glaring issue
the book can also be a bit repetitive at times with its dialogue, and it does sometimes feel like groundhog day. i feel i cant properly fault the book on this issue as it fits in its context, but yet again, as a reader it was a bit boring. that feels mean im so sorry
i don't know. i feel like this review is all over the place. and honestly, that's how i felt emotionally reading this book. i can see myself loving this book a lot more through a re-read though.