clovetra's Reviews (262)

fuck. that was beautiful. this is easily *the best* book i’ve ever read. not just of 2024, but i think in my life. i actually kind of want to cry now that ive finished it. i also want to cry because of how beautiful it was. i want to cry because i relate to and understand ren so well. i want to cry because jade song’s writing style is orgasmic. i want to cry because this book had all my favourite features - body horror, sapphic romance, perfectionist main character who strives to be the best, mature themes, mixing reality with fantasy and science fiction. this book was pure bliss, and i don’t think i possess the capacity to explain the perfection of this story.

even though this book came out only in 2023, i await patiently yet enthusiastically for jade song’s next book.

never have i had so many yet so little thoughts on a book.
the writing at times was incredible - the style had almost a lyrical and floaty feeling, which perfectly suited the setting(s) and the story of this book. however, sometimes it felt overly wordy for the sake of being wordy. the unnecessary use of overly complicated words to achieve this was frustrating at times, and i felt like i was straining to read this. i did at times enjoy the layers on layers of descriptions of something as simple as a seed, but other times i was exhausted
i will say i also don't.... buy the relationship between red & blue? like i feel like it came out of nowhere and it didn't get proper set up. like at one moment they're just chatting about annihilating each other and then like 30 pages later they're madly in love.
i also did not get the ending and many other thing! like i get what happened in an abstract sense, but if you asked me to give you a play-by-play of what happened in this book i don't think i could. sure i have grasped the general ideas but my god so much jargon was going on, most of the actual plot was lost on me.
i understand why this book is adored and twitter user bigdickolas, but for me.... idk it was good! i can admit that; im not blind. it was a beautiful book. it just felt like it was trying too hard to be artsy for me. 

i am an inch away from crying over that last chapter my heart is breaking in the best way. i understand now why this story is a classic. 

this story captivated me in so many ways. to begin with, i will admit i was not enjoying this story. i found reading through celie’s poor spelling made it quite difficult for me to grasp what was happening, and many times i had to refer to summaries to understand what was happening. but as the novel progresses, you see celie become more educated, and it at least became easier for me to read as the words were spelled correctly. i do have to admit in retrospect i love the concept of displaying a character’s intelligence through purposefully misspelling passages, but whilst i was reading it did become a bit grating. i also found it difficult to understand the time span between events - i struggled to understand the progression of time, but i have a feeling this isn’t an issue on walker’s behalf, but my own.

this was an incredibly beautiful story. i have to say my favourite chapters would’ve been hands down the

letters nettie wrote to celie

, i loved exploring the land of olinka and how

celie’s kids

are fairing over there, especially the plot line with tasha. i also love how celie’s relationship with shug isn’t really questioned in a homophobic way. i know this is historical fiction and i truly was expecting some homophobia, but i was pleasantly surprised & relieved none of the main characters made homophobic remarks. sometimes i just want some wholesome women love, and that’s what this book was.

i will say i did not enjoy seeing how celie’s life was before shug. i know it was necessary to show celie’s character growth, and im not mad at it, but truly that was one of the reasons i think i didn’t enjoy the beginning. it felt like kicking a horse when she’s down.

my god were the side characters delectable. i’ll say easily my favourites were sophia and squeaks, with a cute mention to nettie & tashi. there were a lot of side characters and i will say i have no idea who a lot of them were simply because i lost track.

overall, this was a beautiful stories, covering the lows of celie’s life of abuse at the hands of men, and the highs of celie’s life because of the women she surrounds herself with, and the men around her who have grown to see celie for what she is - a queen.

im so fucking confused
to anyone reading this - i am extending an open invite for someone to explain what i just read because i have no idea!
ive tried googling explanations and they seem to come out of nowhere.... like the plot twist felt like it came from left field.
the first third of the book i enjoyed! i loved seeing the personalities of the bunny's and how samantha falls deeper and deeper into their "cult". but around part 3 of this book i feel like it just begins throwing shit at the wall and praying something sticks. like im still so confused.
ive seen people saying the ritual aspect and supernatural themes were metaphors but i don't understand how... and people are saying samantha is unreliable? how? like after the third part i see how but.. there's not any hints to show that to me.
ive never been more confused about a book in my life. i still feel like so much is left unexplained to the point there's not really a point, and instead there is no "deeper meaning" to whatever i just spent 373 pages reading.
i just borrowed rouge from my library and im hoping my issue is isolated to this book and isn't a symptom of awad's work because i did not enjoy the ending! im so serious if this was more mystery novel rather than what it was i could see this being a 4-star but as it is... im so fucking lost

RAHHHHH I FINISHED THE TWILIGHT SAGA
what a beautiful ending. kind of.
i need to say this book felt like 700 pages of fanfiction. now im not mad at that but..... sometimes it felt corny. like with the

pregnancy & the fact bella lowkey becomes a mary sue....
ok well shes not really a mary sue but. i hate the fact her adjustment period as a newborn was nonexistent!

anyways i loved 80% of this book. some parts felt corny, and i was mega pissed that there were 10 jacob chapters. tbh they weren't as bad ass i thought they were going to be, but when i saw "book two - jacob" ooooo my blood BOILED. anyways though the ending made me less annoyed at him but im sorry

imprinting on a fucking infant is so crazy what crack were u smoking meyer

also this book needed more alice im sorry. yeah i know her not being there is for a reason idc im a ride or die for my girl alice talk to the wall.
anyways this feels oddly poetic to finish on valentines day seeing as the cullen coven are all lovesick LOSERS!!! /lh
i enjoyed seeing

bella as a vampire

but some of this book did feel like pandering, and it broke my immersion at times. other than that though, this book was perfect. the ending with the

volturi

was a bit corny tho.... like yeah sure i

wanted a happy ending and would've been mad if it didn't happen but tbh i would've preferred that! it felt incredibly anti-climatic that alice somehow manages to find this random ass fuckin half immortal. girl bye

also my one other gripe was there was waaaay too much casual racism with the

other covens

. was painful to read points featuring certain people like

amun or the amazon vampires

..... meyer u needed some sensitivity readers on god
idk if im gonna read the other books related to twilight by meyer this year but im happy ive finished her main series! yay! 
i say this but in reality my hyperfixation is gonna go crazy now that i don't have any new content (yes i will be bingeing both movies tonight IF YOU SEE MY LETTERBOXD MIND UR OWN BUSINESS /lh)
ok bye <3

i went into this thinking i'd love this. but sadly i didn't :(
i have such varying thoughts on both of the novellas included inside this book, so i'm going to separate my thoughts;
kitchen was.. alright! i got quite bored and felt there was no underlying story or message. none of the characters appeared interesting to me except eriko. i understood there was supposed to be a message or theme to grasp, but i couldn't. sure grief was there, but it felt almost secondary, and there was just no overarching purpose to the story, and i found it such a slog. i enjoyed some parts, such as when mikage is at work or as she converses with eriko, but other than that, i did not enjoy this story. on its own this story is a strong 1/5 for me.
i loved moonlight shadow. i would've much preferred if this was the longer one out of the two novellas. it felt like everyone was character was well-written, and i thoroughly enjoyed the story and the voice employed. the theme of grief and holding on was very prominent here, and written wonderfully. the ending was sweet, and i enjoyed how grief was portrayed here. i also love the presence of urara, she was a great addition to this story, as well as hiiragi. solid 3/5
honestly, even though i quite enjoyed moonlight shadow, it's only 40 pages out of a 150 page  book. kitchen took up way too much of this novel to rate this book highly.
overall i think my issue was how kitchen felt lacklustre, vague, and said nothing about the themes i could see it was trying to portray. moonlight shadow came and brought my overall opinion of the book up, but because it was less than half of the book, i still would say i didn't enjoy myself here, which is a shame because i was looking forward to this read. oh well! lets hope the next banana yoshimoto book i read is one i enjoy </3

FUCKKKKK WAS THIS GOOD!!! I CANNOT RANT & RAVE ABOUT THIS BOOK ANYMORE THAN IM BOUT TO. EASILY MY FAVOURITE BOOK OF 2024 (so far)
this book has everything and more
- as a disabled person i go NUTS for representation. a book where most main characters are deaf, written by a deaf author? im a rabid dog im so thrilled
- the excerpts following charlie were so brilliant and added to this book quite a lot, such as the excerpt on alexander bell when she's learning about him in history class
- the excerpts about signs too!!!!! i loved them!!!!! 
- the mention of the intersectionality between race & disability AND gender & disability.... chefs kiss
- highlighting BASL (which i didn't even know existed!) (granted im australian but still)!! this taught me so much about deaf culture in such an endearing and interesting form
- loved to see a CODA. i used to be able-bodied (long story) and as a child of disabled parents i resonated with february. obviously in very different ways, but mainly due to the underlying commonality between us (or at least a commonality that used to exist)
- wlw rep LETS GOOOOOOOO
- charlie and austin..... my loves. my little baby grills. i also loved kayla a LOT. couldn't stop picturing mel as mel buttle but u know what it works! every character felt like their own person, with motives and goals and a LIFE outside of the main plot. 
- writing style was magnificent
- writing FORMAT????? ugh i was in love. the little italics to show when a character was signing vs orally speaking? perfect. the chapter titles being the main pov's initial fingerspelled???? magnificent.
this book accomplished so much. there were so many themes and none of them felt poorly fleshed out. this book covers everything - grief, eugenics, isolation, race, ableism, jealousy, teenage romance, rebellion, gentrification, community, ableism (both outright and unknowingly), and so much more. 
i don't think i can truly put into words how much i loved this novel. this book is very clearly a love letter to the deaf community, and i have to say i fell hook line & sinker.

erm. this book was um. probably my least favourite in the series bye
 can i also talk my shit and say FUCK JACOB BLACK!!!!!!!!
im so sorry i cannot understand team jacob fans. bro

assaults bella once & guilt trips her into kissing him

. he can kiss my ass. fuck jacob black. he was so incredibly insufferable for 99% of this book that i groaned every time he appeared. and DONT GET ME STARTED ON BELLA AND JACOB!!!!
bella u need to get ur shit together.

stop thinking u love jacob because to me its so fucking clear she doesn't love him shes just incessantly needy.

anyways um that's honestly my biggest gripe with this book.
that and you can smell the mormonism in this book unlike any other. like seriously the

no sex before marriage cockblock

occurring TWICE is so fucking funny it has me rolling.
anyways im also lowkey getting sick of how fucking needy bella is. GIRL GET SOME SELF CONFIDENCE JESUS CHRIST YOU CAN EXIST AWAY FROM YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH MEN!!!
ummm now what did i like? its a twilight book duh. automatic win. also i enjoyed the edward x jacob solidarity. i also LOVED the backstory dumps from rosalie and jasper <3 my loves they both deserved better when they were humans.
anyways im looking forward to the cgi baby nessie.

edit 5/2/2024: don't get me fucking started on imprinting. i forgot to add this but on god

one of the wolfies imprinting on a fucking child

was my last straw 

this was a nice little book honestly, but as someone who's lost someone close to them, it fell a bit... odd? incorrect? like once the end of the book comes sure lennie says something like "my sister will always be with me", and that grief is permanent, which i liked. but

it didn't feel like lennie felt that? idk it felt like she was awful and then got everything she wanted. i felt like she should've faced some reprocussions - sure her sister dying is probably the biggest reprocussion & she was grieving, she shouldn't be punished,

but idk it felt a bit unrealistic and that peeved me a tad.
now i haven't lost a sister (only child things). but i did lose my dad. and with a book so centred on grief, the way lennie expresses her grief, i felt like it was very unrealistic. like yeah i know that everyone expresses grief in varying ways, but oh my god

hooking up with ur sister's boyfriend? girl what the fuck? i know she explains it too by saying something like "when im with toby our hearts rebuild bailey" or some shit but im sorry i could not look past that.

. just because someone is grieving does not mean their shitty behaviour gets to be excused, and i think that's what im most hung up on.
i also didn't like how

easily joe forgave lennie. sure yeah they're in love whatever but tbh i would've preferred it if she ended up alone! girl get away from relationships! she doesn't even know who she is without her sister, and instead she filled the void with toby and then joe.

i also felt like the characters kind of fell flat? lennie is very much the main character but other than that, i feel like the characters needed a bit more fleshing out. and honestly the character who was fleshed out (lennie), i found insufferable.
i think that's my main issue - not that lennie was a bit of a shit person throughout this book, but that i didn't feel any sympathy for her. like usually i can love-hate a protag like this. idk why but with nelson's other book <i>i'll give you the sun</i> i found this to be an issue with me as well - the characters were so incredibly self-destructive and awful to everyone around them i couldn't function. like no redeemable traits in lennie for me. 
overall though i felt like this book was quite realistic in the way the characters express their grief, but i don't know i just did not like lennie. i don't know if that was nelson's intention but all i know is i was not live laugh loving as much as i hoped i would be :(

this book was truly unique. its wit combined with kurniawan's incredible storytelling and creativity is a match made in heaven. i will say as someone with a lack of knowledge about indonesia, reading this was confusing at times due to a lack of knowledge, but im not going to knock the book for my ignorance. this book was incredibly written, mixing sardonic stories about pissing with incredibly fucked up stories like the caronang, which i cant even describe without giving massive spoilers. as i do with other short stories, ill be giving my ratings. here we go.
graffiti in the toilet: depraved. what an insane way to start a book. a chapter about a toilet's graffiti. i loved the underlying political message, although ill be honest i didn't get it (i do not know much about indonesia's political history). overall was enjoyable. 3/5
don't piss here: what in the fawk. i started reading this and had a feeling piss was a major theme of this book and im thankful i was wrong. anyways um what the fuck was that ending. this was an enjoyable story but tbh compared to the rest of this novel it fell flat. 2/5
easing into a long sleep: this one was mid too. i found this one to be forgettable. like out of all the stories i had to go back and skim the book to remember my thoughts on this one. it kinda ate but kinda didn't interest me as well. 2/5
caronang: incredible amazing show stopping never done before. i loved this. its so insane and then the ending is so abrupt and batshit crazy. a masterpiece. 5/5
rotten stench: i really enjoyed this one too! i enjoyed the cycle of the town, it felt like to me this story and story number 6 are linked (they're not), which was nice. i liked the language used too. 4/5
no crazies in this town: enjoyable story, i didn't get the ending though. like i *got* it, but i didn't get the... motives? i guess is the best word for it. 3/5
auntie yet again also did not understand the ending. there's multiple interpretations for me but i feel like a definitive ending was created that im just too silly to get. oops. 3/5
pigpen meh. i mean #Relatable but also like. this one grossed me out & not in an enjoyable way honestly. i was just waiting for the next story. i don't even know why i just didn't vibe with it. 2/5
the otter amulet: insane. loved it. i think the stories with a looping nature were my favourite. this was incredibly poetic and i fucked with it soooo hard. ending came out of nowhere tho lol 4/5
dimples: i had fun with this! i liked the ending, i will admit i had no idea what was happening for half of this which says a lot when its like 7 pages. 3/5
the stone's story: it feels out of place in this anthology? like its such a goofy story. i mean i didn't hate it but i wasn't losing it over how good it was! 3/5
my lipstick is red, darling: i don't exactly know why but i liked this. i enjoyed the bittersweet ending & yet again the cyclical nature. sue me. 4/5
peter pan: sorry im a hater i got bored. why is she called the princess? why is bro obsessed with stealing books? mid. 1/5
making an elephant happy: the shortest story, being only 3 pages, yet it also ate soooo hard. so goofy so silly so enjoyable. ending is a bit lacklustre tho. 4/5
night watchman:i liked this! the atmosphere was incredibly strong and spooky, i liked how it was a smidge longer to build up the story more, and i liked the ending! it felt like it was missing something. 4/5
kitchen curse: ok this was my least favourite. it felt so out of place in this anthology. like it was accidentally plopped in. it kinda ruined the vibe for me. story itself was cute but it lowkey didn't belong. 1/5
overall, i enjoyed the short stories, but the endings were usually incredibly abrupt and random, with the themes not having long enough to be fleshed out due to the shortness of the stories. i know short stories are... short. but the longest story in this was 8 pages i think. i needed more. the stories that excelled shone so bright, but the ones that flopped did so hard.
overall i had a good time, but i did expect a bit more due to the rave reviews. i felt like especially due to the translation, i could not truly connect with characters due to the distanced writing style. also there was no time for character development (obv), so i didn't care too much about the cast of characters, as they all wizzed by so fast. oh well to each their own!