clovetra's Reviews (262)

i get why people gush about this book. i also get why people say it is incredibly depressing. and theyre all right!
i originally debated over whether i was gonna give this 5-stars or 4-stars but honestly the sheer ability for this book to make me cry 7 different times is enough to make it a 5-star. i barely cry whilst consuming media as my autistic brain is able to differentiate this shit is not real therefore its not sad!!! but i could not with this book. so much crying. even some happy tears which is nuts because ive only done that with one other book (The Lesbiana's Guide to Catholic School). the way i became so attached to all these characters made me so emotional in every aspect. like the fact i was already beginning to cry in part III when the horrors of part IV & part VI were yet to come.... beautiful.
the only reason i was thinking this was a 4-star book was because god... jude sometimes is so annoying. it feels so wrong writing that because hes literally my baby girl but. QUEEN PLEASE LET URSELF BE LOVED!!!! thats the part that was grating. i know its realistic tho, so tbh im not mad at it. jude repeating that he is unloveable, disgusting, etc. is essential to his character, so from purely a reader's perspective i fucking hated it, but as someone who thinks this book will stick with them for the rest of their life, oh it was necessary.
also who tf decides to give a 4-star review for a 737 page book they read in 2-weeks???? thats fucking nuts even for me.
the amount of times i had to resist googling fanart of willem & jude, or just jude in general was so fucking hard. ive never had this deep of a yearning for literal words.
also this book made me feel. tbh im kinda desensitised to gore & horror and general Bad Things in books. like at 9y/o i was on r/5050 and other shit my ass shouldn't have seen. but some scenes made me viscerally nauseous, or genuinely have to put the book down and stare into space for a bit. yet again only one book has achieved this feat (Earthlings), but even then that book just fucked me up for one part. this book fucked me up at every corner. every page turn.
literally i decided to watch a horror movie last night (abigail, 2024, for anyone curious) and usually im good with gore. most of my special interests are all horror-related (danganronpa, fnaf, until dawn, etc.). because of this book i actually was gagging & had to close my eyes at many points WHILST WATCHING A MOVIE.
the fact a book can have that big of an effect on me? my insane ass? oh yeah hanya yanagihara solo'd. 
i actually dont think i can describe how much this book has changed me. was this book enjoyable? sometimes yes. sometimes it was almost a sick perversion i had to finish it. like yeah i would say in 2024 there are books i have 100% "enjoyed" more. but i think this shit has fundamentally changed me. i dont know how, but i feel like a new man. 
i cant believe i dnf'd this in the past (to be fair tho i was 14 years old... yeah this wouldve fucked me up even worse!!!!!)
if you are looking to change ur brain chemistry in the worst yet best way possible this book is for you 👍

i feel like if i had actually watched the movie this is based on i'd get some more of the context or the ending, but i didnt so this review has zero bias relating to the movie!
this was an incredibly addictive book. damani is so witty, and the short chapters drew me in (me and my homies LOVE books with short chapters fr)
i will say the first half of the book i defo thought this was going to be a 5-star book, but tbh the ending lost me a bit. maybe it would make more sense if i'd seen taxi driver (1976)? but im also a believer in if your book cant explain it to me without outside sources im sorry im not going to seek out supplemental works. and i shouldn't have to! the ending really felt like a massive tonal change from a romcom to a thriller? which was insane. a lot of things came out of left field which i didnt love but hey. the last chapter was quite sweet. except literally the last sentence. i still cant work out wtf damani was actually trying to do!
other than that tho i loved this book. i loved that one of the key themes was "white activism" (if theres a better term forgive me for not remembering it.... my ass is tired). i liked seeing the big differences between jo & damani - jo, who is extremely left-wing and an activist, but does not see the intersectionality of activism and being a person of colour, and damani, who is really apolitical, just focused on keeping a roof over her & her mother's head, but also knows jo is being a bit of a pompous dick.
i did really enjoy the chemistry between jo & damani even with how their "relationship" ends (its not a spoiler if its in the blurb shut up). god they were so dazzling to read about. 
what else can i say? i liked reading about damai & her mum. seeing her be this bad ass brazen vulgar woman by profession and then coming to care for her mum was really sweet to read. i love reading books about people who are carers (me when i enjoy books similar to my own circumstances 🤯).
what else did i love? the pacing. god was it SO FAST!!! i love me a fast-paced book god theyre orgasmic.
like i said the ending was a bit.... out of place? i feel like im gonna have to read other reviews to know wtf was going on there. but doesnt mean i hated it! my ass binged this book and god i had a fun time. 
i dont really know what else to say because tbh i didnt have many thoughts about this book! like i fully was just enjoying the ride. i was live laugh loving reading this and most times my thoughts did not go deeper! 
and you know i love me a bi/lesbian pairing! i also loved seeing damani so comfortable in her own skin!!!! we love to see it!!!!!!!!!!!!!
anyways damani makes me want to speed the next time i get behind the wheel (which is in 30 minutes..... lets pray i have self-control) (i wont speed i cannot afford a fine my ass is financially ruined from purchasing car insurance)

ok i had to pause to collect my thoughts on this.

i hate to say i did not have a good time.

look it feels illegal to give this a 1-star because;

a) the cover is too beautiful to rate it that low

b) i did enjoy the first 30% of this book!

it feels wrong to rate a book lower when i considered dnf’ing many times yet pushed through because i wanted to know how it ended & if it got any better. the fact i had that much interest is worth 2-stars to me. plus i really wanted to like this. REALLY wanted to like this. alas as u can see by my stars um…. i did not!

it was really hard to formulate my thoughts about this book simply because most of the time i had no fuckjng idea what was going on. like if you asked me for a summary i would probably skip a good 60% of the plot because i actually don’t know what was happening. i still don’t really know what happened by the end. like yeah i got what happened to ba but….. with cam & marion? lily? jade even? um. 😀

like even the chapter titles such as “heart”…. i assume it was the house? i cant even be sure.

i wouldn’t be surprised if it was a meta-commentary like “if you don’t understand this book it’s immersing you into being jade in this house” but…. cmon when i don’t even know what i don’t know i am not a happy camper.

that was honestly my main issue. i think if i knew what was going on i would’ve given this at the bare minimum an extra star. but like im gonna have to read other reviews to know what’s going on.

another gripe, which is a lot more minor mind you, is that this didn’t feel like a horror.  it’s more like a thriller. but like nothing was really horrifying to me. bro i need more than just some bugs. the more horrific elements may have been lost on me because i had no idea what was going on!!!!!

my final gripe is that this was such a slow burn oh my god????? storygraph said this was medium-paced…… WHERE. i’m sorry this is not medium-burn this is a snail’s-pace-burn. not even saying that’s a bad thing! it’s just not my thing and if i knew it was a slow burn i wouldn’t have even read it!

idk man im really sad cuz i wanted to love this! otherwise i wouldn’t have pushed past like 30%!!!!!!!

i am hoping that trang thanh tran irons out these “kinks” in her newest book because it looks good. granted i did say that about this book and look where that got me but. IM HOLDING OUT FOR YOU TRANG THANH TRAN!!!!!!!!!!

can i just say ive never guessed a killer so quickly. 96 pages in and i guessed it. pretty proud of myself for that one. 

anyways um this book to me perfectly encapsulates booktok. not in a bad way. i mean this in a nice way i swear

it’s got plot twist galore, thrilling scenes, cute charm, humour, suspense, mixed media, and a smidge of romance.

but why oh why is it only a 3 star then?

i got bored.

man this book reads like a YA. it’s a heavy YA-leaning book.

not saying that’s a bad thing! i also knew it was a YA going in so i can’t blame ignorance like i do in every other review (/lh). but yeah u can really tell this is a YA.

it kinda reminded me of my year 8 mystery novel where i had to write a complex murder. mind u i only got 70% and i wrote a wonderful story about a missing lia atsni dying of exsanguination. yeah i used that word at 14 and what. anyways i mean that to say is that this book is quite juvenile. i mean that’s ok but with how people rant & rave about it (side eyeing u alastair & lily) it was….. ok! it wasn’t outright bad but it wasn’t a masterpiece. and that’s ok not every book is meant to be like that. but i think because i had this hyped up to me my hopes were too high?

like seriously i know this book was more complex than just one clear cut killer but…. i guessed it <100 pages in. 

i don’t know if that’s a good thing or not for a general reading audience but i don’t like being correct with my guesses because i always guess someone out of left field.

granted i also could just be goated at guessing killers in fiction because i guessed the killer in the movie “happy death day” (2017) about 30 minutes in so do what you will with that information.

this is kind of a ramble but that’s to say i can’t actually pin point anything specific that sucked or excelled in this book! i mean i can defo say the “confession” flopped so hard. but also i like that pip is lowkey fire ass autistic representation. i don’t even know if she was consciously written like that but idc.

um anyways i will be reading the rest of the series but my ass will not be buying them. this was a perfectly average book. it does not spark joy. it is marie kondo’ing out of my house tomorrow (aka entering facebook marketplace)

 i’m very conflicted on this book. 

i want to say in no way shape or form do i want to criticise what the author wrote. i think raising awareness to the misogynistic culture of south korea is necessary, and the way it was done truly made me feel immersed in what it is like to be a woman in south korea. 

i do think this book is necessary, especially considering the 4B movement has reached the west (as in, the knowledge of its existence in south korean culture). 

purely from a reader’s perspective is why my star rating is so “low”. 

this book kinda reminds me of a woman is no man by etaf rum, in that it’s: 

also with a woman is no man, i feel scummy writing this review & giving negative feedback surrounding lives women very likely are actually living in the real world whilst i sit here prim and proper, not having to worry about if i will be discriminated against if i have kids (i won’t) or told to “suck it up” with workplace harassment.

i think i also went in with the wrong expectations - i expected the story to more heavily explain *why* jiyoung now channels women of her past. all i got was roughly ~30 pages of this which was probably the most disappointing aspect of the book for me. but i don’t really think i can hold this against the writer tbh - yet again my expectations for a book are out of wack 💀

like a woman is no man, i do think everyone should read this. i just don’t particularly “love” books about misogyny because u know…. i read to escape the real world…. i get enough sexism from existing thank u very much! 

i am so sorry god i wish i liked this more!
sorry its such a minor pet peeve when books use overly-flowerly language. like yes some description is needed but.,.. this book was too much.
i told myself in 2024 to dnf any book that does not spark joy, and this book did not spark joy at all.
yeah i know im not really giving this book a chance but honestly i dont want to.
that sounds mean
idk i just didn't like it & where it was going!
mayhaps a future pick-up (i highly doubt it sadly)

im actually a bit sad to be saying goodbye to the firebird series
i have loved every step of the way.
will say tho this was an... odd? way to end the story.
not necessarily "odd".... moreso... anticlimactic. idk how else i expected the story to end based on what had been set up in the last book but... idk i expected more?
other than that this book was everything i had dreamed for.
never had i thought when i first randomly took this book home from my school's library as a prize in 2018, it would turn into one of my favourite series.
this book was 100% fan service and tbh im not even mad. like look at the moscowverse & tell me its not fanservice 💀
i loved the communication between universes, and i loved the insane overlap between who was in who.
plus my god some things that happened? like the romeverse? jesus picturing that felt like a drug trip.
i like the epilogue, it was very cute & sweet.
ending with the home office universe was a tad anticlimactic & wicked felt a bit too much of a caricature at times, but yet again i cant be too mad because i had fun!
this series might join my Elite List™️ of series i've finished and then actively sought out fan-fiction for (the list is short - it only contains netflix's lucifer).
i will be dreaming of marguerite and paul tonight god bless

well i will say this defo was out my comfort zone (only i will get this joke because storygraph recommended me this as “out of my comfort zone)

i didn’t realise that jagged little pill had been made into a book, and tbh i love me some morrissette so i was like “🤷 why not”

i haven’t seen the musical, and honestly ive never fully listened to the album (sue me) so this opinion is solely about the book

i will say this book HEAVVIVILLYYY leans into the YA genre. at sometimes it was a bit of a yawn but tbh because i went in with literally zero expectations i didn’t find it as egregious as i have with many other books

the characters felt a bit one dimensional at times, and incredibly daft at other times. yes you can shit on me and say “oh they’re teens” ok i was a teen and i wasn’t as stupid as frankie was for 95% of this book

sorry frankie was quite grating she pissed me tf off!!!!!!!!!!

i know this is to be expected when the book is literally based on morissette’s album but i loved all the little references to her & the album! all the little lyrics were cute

i mean i feel like i don’t have much to say? this was not a very “deep” book. very surface level, and sometimes that’s ok!

themes & tropes are a bit overdone but tbh the book didn’t go in claiming it was the most inventive literature to grace the planet so yet again i’m not mad. that’s probably because i had fun reading this because it was so….. easy? light?

my ass has a kidney infection rn so i didn’t want to have to read something super high brow. and this did the job!

i feel like if i read this at any other point in my life i would rate this lower but honestly it did its job! i’m pleased!

i will say though i would never read this again. maybe see the musical, sure. defo listen to the original album. but reread this? i’ll pass xxx

sorry you are joining the pile of DNF
there's a couple reasons im stopping this:

might pick this up in the future but for know its bye bye to the dnf pile 😔

hey yall remember when i said during my review for [book:Hell Followed With Us|57911600] where i was like "i wanted to like this but i didn't.... lets hope this was an issue with the plot and not with the writer because god i wanted to like it"
I WAS RIGHT!! I LOVE ANDREW JOSEPH WHITE!!
i think the biggest differences for me regarding this book & hfwu were the plot itself & the worldbuilding! 
with hfwu, it was hard for me to understand as i grew up in a very agnostic household... i think ive been to a church once in my entire life. so grasping the undertones, backstory & context were hard for me! they weren't necessary for me to get cuz tbh i still had a blast but it did damper my experience. also, the worldbuilding felt lacking there.
NOT IN THIS BOOK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
the worldbuilding here is phenomenal!!! i was a bit worried at the beginning cuz i was like "ohh... ummmm idk whats happening with the speaker society". but because the 'big bad' concept was a lot easier to grasp with no background information it ate soooooooo hard. delicious. it's so easy to immerse yourself in this story as most concepts aren't too hard to imagine - picturing the victorian aesthetic did not feel laborious on my small brain which i loved!
also!!!!! don't ask me to explain this but compared to hfwt.... the writing felt more sophisticated! like joseph white has truly found his comfort spot and is executing his art perfectly. 
now lets get away from comparisons and let me just gush about this book;
- T4T ROMANCE!!!! BABY'S FIRST T4T BOOK!!! I LOVED IT!!!! SO MUCH!!!! 
- i want to marry daphne sorry she's mine
-

mary and frances

are so sweet i want to fucking sob
- the plot twists were so fucking crazy but always in a good way. like

harriett? george being a dick? DAPHNE EXISTING? LORD LUCKENBILL KNOWING? AND SILAS KILLING HIS ASS? THE GLASS IN MRS FORRESTERS SHOES???

like no punches were held back and they all hit as equally strong.
- i loved this horror style!!! like leaning into the medical gore...... chefs kiss. 
- autistic rep!!! ugh i love the way silas explains having autism. esp the rabbit. as someone with their own rabbit idk this made me feel all mushy inside. plus the groundskeeper???? im gonna CRYYYYYYY
i literally don't think a single part of this book fell even the slightest bit flat. i became so enamoured with this book i think im going to have to stare at fan art for the next couple of hours.
anyways now im listening to boys will be bugs by cavetown because that feels appropriate