claudcloud's Reviews (310)

As soon as I found this book online, I knew I had to read it - I mean, come on, boybands and a queer main character? It felt exactly up my alley, and I really enjoyed this story!!

As someone who has been a fan of a boyband for many years now (albeit in very different terms, since K-Pop is a unique scene in and of itself) and is engaging with fan culture on a daily basis as a result, I really appreciated the exploration into how demanding and toxic fans can be, and how that directly affects the artists that they claim to love. We've all seen the mobs, artists getting followed to their hotels, them being chased around public streets and tossed around like a puppet while surrounded by "fans", the purity culture that becomes an unspoken rule, the inappropriate tweets and messages that still get sent in spite of that - I feel like this book captures the less positive aspects of being in the public eye very well.

Add being a queer teenager to all that? And it all gets so much harder. It's no wonder that Hunter feels this overwhelming amount of pressure from trying to cope with all of it. Not only that, but constantly needing to uphold an image that sells rather than being himself definitely didn't help, either.

While all of this remains true, I also love that the book showed us how great being in the band is for him, and Hunter's relationship with his bandmates is what sold it entirely for me. His relationship with Kaivan was absolutely a plus, don't get me wrong, but it's his friendship with the other boys that ultimately keeps him going, and reassures him that he's on the right path. It's knowing that he doesn't always have to shoulder everything alone, that he has a support system around him that he can take advantage of and communicate better with, that pulls Hunter back to the surface, and I'm such a sucker for strong friendships in books, did you know, probably yes 😭

All in all, this was super fun and easy to read! Don't let the dates fool you - I started it at the beginning of the month, and then blasted through the last 3/4ths of it today. Not a perfect book by any means, but I enjoyed myself a lot, and I will be using the "freckles itching/burning" line for the rest of my life!

Last but not least: BE GAY DO CRIME!!!!!

 RTC but... I need to sit with this a minute before I gather my thoughts!

 I may doubt the truths of the world, but never again will I doubt whether or not the person that I am, or may be, is loved or worthy of love. I know myself, and I don’t. Both can be true.

This book... feels so much like a warm hug, and I'm so happy that it exists in the world. This is exactly the kind of book I needed when I was younger, the kind of book that would've helped me figure myself out sooner, and knowing that queer kids are now growing up in a world where they have that? Where they get to see themselves and know that they deserve to be happy and loved no matter what? I'm going to adore any book that gives that to them/us 🏳‍🌈

I'm absolutely floored that this is a debut, because it's clear from the very first page how much love and care Racquel has put into her craft. Every single character is so beautifully created, but especially Ophelia, who I fell in love instantly!! Her rose-colored view of the world, her affinity for roses (that I share, even though I can't actually grow them myself) and her open heart are all things that I admire her for. Her journey with her sexuality is so, so incredibly authentic and well-done, and just seeing her grapple with all the changes that she has to face alongside this HUGE thing that she's discovering about herself for the first time is... weirdly comforting, actually. It almost helped me process everything that's changed, and has been changing, in my own life, because through her, I'm realizing that I can give myself the space I need to do that.

And isn't that the point of it all? The realization that, even though she is changing, and the future is unknown, and it's scary but exciting at the same time, she is and will always be (and excuse me for this next pun) Ophelia, after all? Isn't it worth it, in the end, to go through the hard and scary times just to discover that you're stronger than all of it, and that all you have to do is be yourself, completely and unapologetically? This is what Ophelia gives us, and this is what she's going to give so, so many kids who are looking for their place in the world, and I don't have words to express how proud and happy I am that she's a part of the world!!!

Now, I have to talk about the other characters as well, because I'm me and because found family always, always makes my chest ache. The support system that Ophelia is surrounded by, even when she thinks she isn't, is incredible to read about (even if it makes me cry a little). Her and Sammie's relationship especially, the fact that they've grown up together and they're able to accept each other with no reservations, even though they do come across a few bumps in the road - that's so important to have. Her growing friendship with Wes was also very beautiful, because it bloomed from that sense of kinship that you can only get from other queer people, who share your experiences and who can help you understand yourself when you feel like you're drifting alone at sea. Them visiting the LGBTQ+ center and Ophelia becoming a regular after that? Truly literary excellence!!!

I think this book is so important, and I get why it's been so highly - and rightly - praised. I definitely will pick up Racquel's next books as soon as we're blessed with them, because I'll be reading everything she writes from now on!!

 "Nobody is honest, nobody is real. You can’t trust anyone or anything. Emotions are humanity’s fatal disease. And we’re all dying."

I'll be honest with you, I don't really... know? How to coherently talk about this book? Because it's so raw and angry and made me feel so, so much that words fail me. But I'm gonna try!

One thing that I will immediately mention is that this book has made me love Tori a million more times than I already did!! Going into this I knew that the story would take on a darker tone, and it did, but being inside Tori's mind felt so... normal to me. Almost like I was reading about myself, though I hope I'm not quite as pessimistic and blunt as she is 😅 Point being, just like Charlie, she's another one of those characters that has now made a home for herself in my heart, that I can heavily relate to, and that I will always want to protect with my life!!!!

Michael was?? SO much fun!!! He was truly the breath of fresh air that Tori (and the novel itself) needed, I found him such a great character, and I hope that maybe... we get to see more of him in "Heartstopper"... not sure if we'll get to see the events of "Solitaire" in it first-hand, but we're approaching the time period when they happen, so I'm very very curious to see how Alice works them in!!

Speaking of "Solitaire" - even though I guessed at who could be behind it pretty much halfway through the book, the mystery and the events that Solitaire cause were very well crafted and very compelling. I was still very much holding my breath, wanting to see what Solitaire's next move would be and what it would mean for Tori. As extreme as their actions were, it was also (lowkey, very, very lowkey) sweet that they noticed how low Tori was mentally, and wanted to help both her and the school at large. Not condoning burning it down the way they did, but come on, even the book acknowledges that we've all dreamed about that at some point!!

Also, the constant references to Tumblr and blogging made me smile every time - back in high school, I was also that girl who spent all her time reblogging angsty posts and trying to look cooler than she was on the Internet ✌🏻

I just needed more Osemanverse, okay? Move along!

I see so, so much of myself in Charlie. Even years ago, when I first found out about and started reading "Heartstopper", I knew that he would always be someone close to my heart, and this novella cemented that. Seeing him be surrounded by so much love and care, seeing how much Nick and Tori care about him and are genuinely doing their best to help him - it's always going to make me a bit weepy, because every single one of us who struggles with mental health issues deserves to have this kind of support system and deserves to be helped. 

Even when we struggle to believe that ourselves.

Loved the art style of this, loved that it's a Hades and Persephone retelling, and my reading experience with it was quick and enjoyable!! However, as you can tell from my rating - I found this first volume to be just okay.

Yes, it is an introductory volume to the story, but it felt like nothing much even happened over the almost 400 pages that I read. We get to see Hades and Persephone meet, and we get a little bit of her backstory, but that's about it. It doesn't feel like there's any intrigue or much of a plot so far, and while I may decide to give volume 2 a try as well, at this point I can't say that I 100% will.

I also didn't love the SA storyline that the author decided to give Persephone. I get that they're trying to build a world of debauchery and sin (or at least this is my impression from the very minimal build-up that we do get), but it just felt forced, and not necessary at all.

All in all, gorgeous style, bit of a lacking story so far, but we'll see how it goes if I continue along with this series!

I've just had no luck with translated books, huh... I really, truly wanted to love this, but unfortunately it just didn't mesh with me.

There are certainly some positive aspects to this book that I'd be remiss to gloss over. I found the subject matter very compelling, the rules to the time-traveling were unique and provided an even deeper element to the story, and the message of hope and happiness that became apparent by the end of the novel was very important, and very beautiful! I was especially fond of Kei and her journey throughout the story, and I was very happy that she got to meet her daughter and find peace of mind.

That being said, the main thing that really put me off this book was the writing in and of itself. I'm not sure if it's a translation issue (and I definitely want to try and give it a second chance in Japanese further down the line), but it just... it never flowed. It was disjointed and repetitive, to the point that I had to resort to listening to the audiobook in 2x speed to get through this. This really hindered my reading experience, and it led to me also being unable to fully connect to our characters and their stories.

Bottom line, I just wish it would've been done better overall. If I end up reading the book in its original language, I will come back and update this for sure!

April 2022 re-read:

And we're caught up, just in time for Friday!!

This was... truly the best one yet. Charlie's journey with mental health and anorexia is so, so important, but what strikes me the most, and what struck me the most when I originally read these two chapters online as Alice was posting them, was Nick's mom, and how beautifully she put into words what her son needed to hear. Sometimes, all you can do is be there for your loved one. Sometimes, they need help from more than one person. And that's ok. Just like Charlie says - they love each other so much, and they want to help the other person as much as possible, but they also need other people in their lives to carry some of that load a little.

Their relationship is built on such a strong, solid foundation that it makes me cry a little bit every time 😭 I'm so proud of Charlie for seeking help, I'm so proud of Nick for being the loveliest, most supportive bean in the world, and I'm so happy they found each other!!

April 2022 re-read:

...can't stop won't stop.

The Paris trip is SO so special to me!!! I love getting to see Nick and Charlie get even closer, I love how their relationship is developing and progressing, and I love that Alice does such a beautiful job of talking about sensitive topics like mental health and eating disorders through Charlie. He is the sun incarnate and must be protected at all costs and deserves the whole entire world 😭