bisexualbookshelf's reviews
793 reviews

Bluff: Poems

4.75

dark emotional hopeful inspiring reflective medium-paced

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for the eARC!

Danez Smith’s Bluff is a blistering exploration of America’s unrelenting brutality and the flickering flame of hope for transformation. This poetry collection, filled with intense lyricality and vivid imagery, grapples with the pervasive violence and systemic racism in the United States while holding onto the vision of a radically changed future. Smith's evocative and introspective voice offers a powerful examination of the personal and collective struggles that define the current American landscape.

From the opening pages, Smith’s anger and despair are palpable. They write, “What you call country, we call plague,” capturing the deep disillusionment felt by many. The poems navigate the emotional terrain of living in a country that inflicts violence on its own people, particularly Black Americans. Smith doesn’t shy away from the harsh realities of police brutality and anti-Black racism, instead confronting these issues head-on with unflinching honesty. In my favorite poem “Minneapolis, Saint Paul,” Smith reckons with the murder of George Floyd and the ensuing protests, delivering a poignant and heart-wrenching narrative that reverberates with urgency.

One of the most striking aspects of Bluff is Smith's ability to blend the personal with the political. They weave their own experiences and emotions into the larger context of American violence and complicity, creating a tapestry of pain and resistance. The poems in this collection are a testament to the power of words to document pain and inspire change, even when the act of writing itself feels futile.

Smith’s language is both beautiful and brutal, rich with metaphor, alliteration, and rhythm. Their words dance off the page, creating a musical quality that enhances the emotional impact of the poems. The use of repetition underscores the violence and betrayal that permeate the poet’s relationship with their country. Smith’s lyrical intensity invites readers to fully immerse themselves in the emotional landscape of the collection.

Despite the pervasive themes of pain and injustice, Smith’s work is not devoid of hope. There is a recurring tension between despair and the possibility of a better future. In one of the most hopeful moments, Smith declares, “The police state is finite and destructible / the world where suffering is no requirement or ignorable is not a dream but a next stop.” This vision of a world without systemic oppression serves as a rallying cry for readers, reminding us that change is not only possible but necessary.

Among the standout poems, “less hope” and “I-35 W North // Downtown Exits” also deserve mention. These pieces further explore the collection’s themes of resistance and resilience, highlighting the poet’s refusal to succumb to despair. Smith’s call for “justice the verb not justice the dream” emphasizes the need for tangible, immediate action to address the injustices they so poignantly depict.

While not every poem in Bluff resonated with me, the majority left a profound impact. Smith’s ability to articulate the complexities of pain, anger, and hope in such a visceral and lyrical manner is nothing short of extraordinary. Bluff is a vital collection that challenges readers to confront the harsh realities of American society while daring to imagine a future of radical change and justice. Smith’s voice is a crucial one in contemporary poetry, and I eagerly anticipate their future works.

📖 Recommended For: Readers invested in social justice and racial equity, those who appreciate intensely lyrical and evocative poetry, anyone exploring themes of systemic oppression and collective resilience, fans of Claudia Rankine and Jericho Brown.

🔑 Key Themes: Resistance and Identity, Anti-Black Racism and Police Violence, Personal and Collective Trauma, Need for Radical Change, Hope amidst Despair.

Bridge

Lauren Beukes

4.0

adventurous mysterious tense fast-paced

Plot or Character Driven: A mix

Strong character development: Complicated

Loveable characters: Yes

Diverse cast of characters: Yes

Flaws of characters a main focus: Yes

Bridge by Lauren Beukes is a bingeable multiverse novel that delves into the complexities of loss, memory, and the desperate search for reconnection. It follows the journey of Bridge, a stubborn and at times sullen woman, as she unravels the mysteries surrounding her mother's death and their tumultuous past.

Bridge's mother, Jo, a professor of neuroscience, once took her on the run due to what Bridge was later told were delusions caused by a brain tumor. After Jo's death, Bridge finds herself sorting through her mother's belongings with the help of her friend Dom, a “brown queer from out of town” who steps in to handle the less pleasant tasks. This friendship is one of the novel's strengths, offering a moving portrayal of chosen family and mutual support.

As Bridge sifts through Jo's things, she begins to question the reality of her childhood memories. Jo's obsession with something called the “dreamworm”—a psychedelic said to open doors to other worlds—starts to seem less like a delusion and more like a hidden truth. Flashbacks to Jo's perspective reveal her desperate travels through alternate realities in search of a cure for her cancer. The discovery of a dreamworm in Jo's freezer propels Bridge into her own experiments, leading to the startling realization that traveling to other universes means switching bodies with her alternate selves.

Bridge and Dom's investigation into Jo's journals, found in a mysterious storage unit, uncovers a lifetime of interdimensional travel. They realize it was not Jo's consciousness in her body when she died but an “otherself,” suggesting that Jo's consciousness is still out there, somewhere in the multiverse. Determined to find her mother, Bridge embarks on a relentless journey across countless worlds, with Dom as her unwavering companion.

However, Bridge's quest is fraught with danger. Amber, a woman determined to eliminate those who use the dreamworm, poses a significant threat. Amber's mission to protect the multiverse from what she perceives as the dreamworm's destructive potential adds a layer of tension and urgency to Bridge's journey.

I absolutely devoured this book, losing a whole weekend to its captivating narrative. Bridge is a fantastic binge-read that combines the thrill of multiverse travel with profound emotional stakes. Though the ending left some questions unanswered, possibly setting the stage for a sequel, it felt somewhat unnecessary. Additionally, the diverse representation at times felt forced, and certain references, like those to the AIDS epidemic, seemed out of place.

Despite these critiques, Bridge is a compelling and fun read, earning a solid 4 out of 5 stars. It’s a novel that will keep you turning pages, eager to explore the next world and uncover the next secret.

📖 Recommended For: Enthusiasts of multiverse adventures and speculative fiction, readers interested in exploring complex mother-daughter relationships, those who appreciate a blend of science fiction and emotional depth, fans of Blake Crouch.

🔑 Key Themes: Multiverse Exploration, Mother-Daughter Bond, Identity and Self-Discovery, Grief and Loss, Chosen Family and Friendship, Uncovering Hidden Truths.

Content Warnings

Women! In! Peril!

Jessie Ren Marshall

4.0

adventurous emotional reflective medium-paced

Plot or Character Driven: Plot

Strong character development: Complicated

Loveable characters: Complicated

Diverse cast of characters: Yes

Flaws of characters a main focus: Yes

Women! In! Peril! by Jessie Ren Marshall is a haunting collection of Black Mirror-esque stories that offer a searing critique of patriarchy and misogyny. Through a series of existential narratives, Marshall crafts a sense of dread that lingers long after the last page is turned, rarely offering happy endings but always delivering poignant commentary.

One standout story is about Edward’s mother buying him a "Jill of All" bot, designed to assist with any human need. This tale probes deep into societal assumptions about women’s roles, highlighting how they are often seen as disposable when they fail to meet these demands. Another story features a lesbian narrator whose girlfriend becomes mysteriously pregnant via immaculate conception, a surreal exploration of autonomy and control over women’s bodies. In a chilling narrative, a woman is haunted by her dead ex-boyfriend, who cannot remember their breakup or even his own death. Each story in this collection underscores the relentless taking by men and the ceaseless giving by women, reflecting on beauty standards, intergenerational trauma, and the daily struggles of surviving under patriarchal pressure.

The titular story, "Women! In! Peril!" and "Late Girl" were particularly striking. In "Women! In! Peril!," a ship full of women is sent into deep space to ensure humanity's survival after Earth’s destruction. Intended to wake up one at a time, the protagonist finds another woman awake, and together they must prevent their ship from colliding with a white dwarf. This story, while set in a distant future, echoes current issues of control and exploitation of women. "Late Girl" tells the story of Chelsea, a ballet student whose body changes displease her instructor, Roman, leading to severe body image issues. After a car accident results in minor brain damage, Chelsea discovers her altered state improves her dancing. Her college professor, Amy, becomes a guiding light, showing Chelsea how to trust her body again, in stark contrast to Roman's oppressive standards.

Marshall’s writing is sharp and succinct, marked by fragmented, direct sentences that convey raw emotion and immediacy. Her language is poignant and contemplative, often employing rhetorical questions and metaphors to delve into complex emotions and situations. Themes of existential reflection, inevitable change, and the quest for identity and purpose permeate the collection, exploring the transient nature of emotions like love and the pursuit of self-liberation.

The earlier stories, with their technological dystopias, are the strongest. They lay a foundation of caution about our future, which later stories, focused more on personal relationships and societal harms, slightly diverge from. This shift in focus may leave some readers longing for the initial technological critique. Despite this, Women! In! Peril! is a compelling read that earns a solid four out of five stars for its unflinching exploration of the human condition and the societal structures that shape it.

📖 Recommended For: Readers interested in feminist dystopian fiction and critiques of patriarchy, those who appreciate sharp and contemplative prose, fans of Black Mirror and speculative fiction.

🔑 Key Themes: Critique of Patriarchy and Misogyny, Existential Reflection, Technological Dystopias, Struggles with Societal Expectations, Quest for Identity and Self-Liberation.

Content Warnings

How to Tell When We Will Die: On Pain, Disability, and Doom

Johanna Hedva

5.0

challenging inspiring reflective

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for the eARC!

Johanna Hedva’s How to Tell When We Will Die: On Pain, Disability, and Doom is a masterful collection of essays that delve into the intricacies of living with disability, unraveling the norms that perpetuate ableism and insisting on institutional abolition. Hedva’s work is a stark, introspective journey that challenges readers to confront the often hidden realities of pain, disability, and systemic oppression. Through their incisive and philosophical prose, Hedva invites us to reimagine our understanding of disability, advocating for a more accessible and empathetic world.

One of the most compelling aspects of Hedva’s essays is their deconstruction of the shame and denial surrounding disability. In our society, strength and independence are often upheld as virtues, leaving those who cannot conform to these ideals feeling isolated and marginalized. Hedva brings this shame into the light, emphasizing that disability is a universal human experience. By doing so, they dismantle the harmful notion that needing help is temporary or flawed. This theme is poignantly explored in their essay “Blast Radius of Disability,” where Hedva’s personal experiences with disability become a powerful critique of ableism and capitalism.

Another standout essay is “Get Well Soon,” in which Hedva reimagines the revolutionary potential of disability. They challenge the conventional power dynamics between doctors and patients, advocating for a more collaborative and creative relationship. Hedva’s integration of astrology, witchcraft, and kink into their political analyses adds a unique and expansive dimension to their work, insisting on more diverse conceptions of what is possible for disabled bodies. Their insistence on self-determination for mentally ill individuals is both radical and liberating, pushing against the rigid confines of psychiatric labels.

The essays are not only deeply analytical but also profoundly personal. Hedva’s writing is dense and layered, and their prose is characterized by a stark and provocative tone. Their reflections on their own body and pain, described with a raw and almost visceral honesty, invite readers to engage with the material on an emotional level. Many of Hedva’s insights land like punches to the gut, revealing the everyday realities of living with a body that defies social norms and expectations.

Ultimately, Hedva’s essays are a call to action, urging us to acknowledge and dismantle ableism in all its forms. Their work is a testament to the power of personal narrative intertwined with political analysis, creating a space for reflection, empathy, and ultimately, change. How to Tell When We Will Die is a vital contribution to disability justice literature, challenging readers to rethink their assumptions and join in the fight for an accessible and liberated world.

📖 Recommended For: Readers interested in disability justice and abolition, those who appreciate philosophical and incisive prose, anyone exploring themes of pain, disability, and systemic oppression, fans of Health Communism and Leah Lakshmi Piepzna-Samarasinha.

🔑 Key Themes: Deconstruction of Ableism, Shame and Disability, Revolutionary Potential of Disability, Personal Narrative and Political Analysis, Self-Determination and Abolition.

Content Warnings

A Wounded Deer Leaps Highest

Charlie J. Stephens

3.0

challenging dark emotional fast-paced

Plot or Character Driven: A mix

Strong character development: Yes

Loveable characters: Complicated

Diverse cast of characters: Yes

Flaws of characters a main focus: Yes

A Wounded Deer Leaps Highest by Charlie J. Stephens is a deeply moving exploration of poverty, abuse, and intergenerational trauma set against the lush, wild backdrop of Oregon's mountains and forests. At the heart of this poignant tale is Smokey, an eight-year-old, mixed-race, nonbinary child whose life is a tapestry of hardship and resilience. Smokey’s existence is marked by a series of abuses and deprivations, yet they find solace and a sense of belonging in the natural world, developing a profound connection with the wilderness and its creatures.

Smokey’s life is a continuous struggle, overshadowed by the abusive men their mother brings into their home. Despite this, Smokey is captivated by the beauty of the Oregon landscape, where they seek refuge and companionship among the animals. This connection to nature serves as a lifeline, a source of healing amidst the constant turmoil and violence of their home life. The narrative underscores the earth's ability to hold and heal us, a recurring theme that offers a glimmer of hope in an otherwise bleak reality.

As Smokey navigates their challenging circumstances, they also grapple with their gender identity, a journey complicated by the trauma they endure. The story poignantly highlights the impact of abuse on Smokey’s self-perception and physical well-being, particularly through their chronic stomach pain and struggles with eating. This physical manifestation of their trauma adds a visceral layer to the narrative, making their pain palpable to the reader.

Stephens’s writing style is introspective and evocative, capturing the raw vulnerability and strength of Smokey's experience. The prose is rich with sensory details and metaphorical language, creating an immersive emotional landscape that draws the reader into Smokey's inner world. Through Smokey’s eyes, we witness the complexities of human connection, the desperate search for love and validation, and the small but significant moments of solace found in nature.

While the book is a powerful testament to resilience and the healing power of nature, it is also a difficult read due to its unflinching portrayal of child abuse. Stephens handles these themes with nuance, avoiding gratuitous detail while still conveying the profound impact of these experiences on Smokey’s life. However, the ending of the book is ambiguous, leaving a sense of unresolved tension that may not satisfy all readers. After enduring such a harrowing journey with Smokey, a more definitive and empowering conclusion would have been a more fitting reward.

In summary, A Wounded Deer Leaps Highest is a haunting and evocative tale that masterfully weaves themes of resilience, love, and healing. While the strength of the narrative and the beauty of Stephens’s prose make this book a compelling read, I wanted a more conclusive and empowering ending to Smokey’s experiences with child abuse.

📖 Recommended For: Readers who appreciate introspective and evocative prose, those interested in narratives exploring childhood trauma, anyone drawn to stories of the healing power of nature.

🔑 Key Themes: Intergenerational Trauma, Abuse and Survival, Connection to Nature, Search for Love and Belonging.

Content Warnings

Hum

Helen Phillips

3.0

emotional reflective tense fast-paced

Plot or Character Driven: Plot

Strong character development: No

Loveable characters: No

Diverse cast of characters: No

Flaws of characters a main focus: Yes

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for the eARC!

In Helen Phillips's Hum, we are thrust into a disquieting future where intelligent and benevolent robots, known as hums, record every moment of life, trailing citizens to sell products they might need at any given time. May, an unemployed mother of two, is navigating this world, relying on her husband Jem's gig work to barely make ends meet. Hauntingly, May once helped train the AI network that evolved into the hums, so proficient at her job that she rendered herself obsolete.

Phillips crafts a world that is both stressful and propulsive, forcing readers to confront the potential dangers of rapid technological advancement. May's struggle against the hums' relentless commodification critiques how such advancements push us deeper into debt and consumption. The emotional and physical toll of constant surveillance is evident as May undergoes a procedure to make her face illegible to cameras, a drastic step taken to secure financial compensation. This decision not only highlights the lengths to which individuals might go to regain some semblance of privacy but also the invasive nature of surveillance technology.

A significant portion of the novel's suspense stems from the eerie and often malfunctioning devices like the bunnies, AI-equipped smartwatches worn by May's children, Sy and Lu. These moments inject a chilling sense of unpredictability into the story, emphasizing the fragility of reliance on technology. In her increasing technophobia, May plans a family trip to the city's Botanical Garden, a rare natural refuge, demanding they leave their devices behind. This decision leads to a tense sequence where May and Jem are separated from their children, only to find their actions misrepresented in the media, casting May as a neglectful mother. The ensuing investigation by the Bureau of Family Aid and the invasive visits from a hum underscore the omnipresent power of state surveillance.

Phillips's "Black Mirror"-esque narrative is compelling, keeping me hooked from start to finish. However, the book’s ending left me feeling unfulfilled. While I appreciated Phillips's elegantly sparse prose and expert world-building, I found it challenging to relate to her portrayal of motherhood and May's obsessive panic over her children's well-being. A friend recently pointed out to me how frequently motherhood books talk about the bodies of the children in a very obsessive, fetishistic manner (thank you, Andrea!). I noticed this appeared a few times in Hum and found it a turnoff, such as the scenes where May observes her son’s penis while he urinates. These instances detracted from my overall experience.

Despite the rich world-building and timely commentary on surveillance capitalism, I struggled to connect with the characters and their plights. This detachment ultimately impacted my enjoyment of the novel. While I appreciated Hum’s thought-provoking premise and Phillips's writing style, I wanted a more impactful resolution and more relatable characters.

Content Warnings

What Good is Heaven: Poems

Raye Hendrix

5.0

dark emotional reflective fast-paced

“I wanted to be a southern / man. To love a southern woman. Feel guilt for nothing.”

Thank you to the author for the gifted eARC!

In What Good Is Heaven, disability poetics scholar Dr. Raye Hendrix offers a deeply evocative collection of poems that navigate the complexities of queerness within the rural Christian culture of their home state, Alabama. With a poignant dedication, "For the places we love that don’t love us back," Hendrix sets the tone for a journey through a landscape as beautiful as it is brutal, where wonder and violence coexist.

Hendrix's mastery of language is evident throughout the collection, where even the briefest poems deliver profound impact. The opening poems immerse us in the speaker's upbringing on a farm, surrounded by the raw vitality of wildlife and natural growth. These early experiences are captured with a sense of curiosity about the organic nature of bodies and the legacies they carry, both physical and emotional. The poems document the violence inherent in rural life, such as the speaker's lessons about death through their father's mercy killings of animals. These moments of mercy linger, haunting the speaker and resonating with the collection's central question: What good is heaven?

The writing style in What Good Is Heaven is nothing short of lyrical, blending vivid imagery with poignant, often melancholic reflections. Hendrix employs rich sensory details to create a strong sense of place and atmosphere, using the natural world to mirror the speaker's emotional states. The language is intimate yet expansive, seamlessly moving between personal confessions and broader existential musings, with a rhythm that feels almost musical.

Themes of love, pain, and the struggle for self-understanding are intricately woven through the poems. Hendrix explores the paradoxes of care and harm, as the speaker grapples with being nurtured and hurt by their surroundings. The collection critically examines the repressive and abusive aspects of rural Christian upbringing, particularly its impact on the speaker's queerness. Hendrix's work critiques religious and cultural norms, juxtaposing these with a profound connection to the land—a connection that is fraught and ambivalent. The poems question what it means to call a place "home" when that place has caused so much pain. Despite the harsh realities depicted, there is also a sense of resilience and the pursuit of self-acceptance.

Some standout poems in this collection include "There Were Daisies," "Animal Instinct," "No Angels Here," "Blood in the Milk," "Husk Hymn," "Bottomfeeder," "Catalog of Acceptable Violence," and "Ripening." Each poem is a testament to Hendrix's ability to evoke deep emotions and provoke thoughtful reflection on the intersections of identity, place, and belonging.

In What Good Is Heaven, Raye Hendrix offers a powerful exploration of what it means to love and be loved by a place that is both nurturing and hostile. Through their evocative and lyrical poetry, Hendrix invites readers to reflect on their own connections to home, identity, and the natural world. I can’t wait to see what Dr. Raye does next!

📖 Recommended For: Readers who appreciate evocative and lyrical poetry, those interested in the intersection of queerness and rural Christian America, anyone who values stories of personal and existential reflection, fans of Mary Oliver and Ocean Vuong.

🔑 Key Themes: Queer Identity and Acceptance, The Tension Between Love and Pain, The Natural World and Rural Life, Critique of Religious and Cultural Norms, The Complexities of Home and Belonging.

Content Warnings

DallerGut Dream Department Store

Miye Lee

5.0

emotional inspiring lighthearted reflective fast-paced

Plot or Character Driven: A mix

Strong character development: Yes

Loveable characters: Yes

Diverse cast of characters: Yes

Flaws of characters a main focus: No

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for the eARC!

The Dallergut Dream Department Store by Mi-Ye Lee, translated by Sandy Joosun Lee, is a cozy magical realism novel that explores enchanting answers to the timeless question of why we dream. Set in a village accessible only through sleep, this book invites readers into the whimsical world of the Dallergut Dream Department Store, a magical emporium where dreams are crafted and sold like precious commodities. Each chapter serves as a vignette, exploring the unique dreams, dreamers, and dream-makers that populate this fantastical universe.

Mi-Ye Lee's novel is a celebration of dreams as creative masterpieces, each one designed to be admired and cherished. The store itself, a beloved institution in the dream village, is a testament to the art and craftsmanship behind every dream. The novel follows Penny, a new employee at the Dallergut Dream Department Store, as she navigates the five floors of dreamscapes and finds her place among the eclectic and endearing staff. Penny's journey from uncertainty to belonging is heartwarming, as she becomes part of a found family with Dallergut, the store's enigmatic founder, and Weather, a veteran employee who manages the store's daily operations.

One of the most intriguing aspects of the novel is the idea that customers pay for their dreams with their waking emotions. This unique currency system raises thought-provoking questions about the commodification of art and the value we place on our emotional experiences. It also highlights the delicate balance the store's employees must maintain to ensure that dreams are fulfilling and meaningful for each customer.

The philosophical underpinnings of the novel are rich and multifaceted. Lee delves into the nature of dreams, exploring their role in processing trauma, understanding free will, and fostering personal growth. One particularly moving chapter examines how nightmares can be transformed into opportunities for healing, echoing contemporary trauma research. The concept that dreams can help reprocess traumatic events and guide individuals toward resolution is both powerful and resonant.

Dallergut himself is a compelling character, reminiscent of the whimsical and wise figures like Mr. Magorium from Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium. His reflections on dreams, time, and the human experience are profound and often poetic. Quotes like "Ultimately, the fact that they know 'all experiences will eventually be forgotten' makes every moment a once-in-a-lifetime moment" encapsulate the novel's meditative and introspective tone.

The novel's exploration of dreams as both a philosophical inquiry and a critique of capitalism is particularly noteworthy. The Dallergut Dream Department Store is depicted as a place where dreams are not just bought and sold, but carefully curated to meet the emotional and psychological needs of the dreamers. This stands in stark contrast to other stores in the village that lure customers with promises of unnecessary indulgence.

However, the book's structure as a series of vignettes may leave some readers wanting more continuity. While the world-building is exquisite, certain plot threads are lost along the way. This could suggest that the first book is primarily focused on establishing the dream world, with future installments delving deeper into ongoing narratives.

Despite this, The Dallergut Dream Department Store is a charming and thought-provoking read. Lee's imaginative storytelling and philosophical musings create a delightful escape into a world where dreams are treasured and nurtured. The novel's cozy community care vibes and its celebration of dreams as works of art make it a must-read for those who find joy in the unknown and the magical.

In conclusion, this book is an enchanting exploration of the significance of dreams, wrapped in a narrative that is both whimsical and deeply reflective. While it may leave some yearning for a more continuous plot, the beauty and depth of Lee's dream world are sure to captivate and inspire. For fans of magical realism and philosophical fiction, The Dallergut Dream Department Store is a delightful journey into the heart of our sleeping minds.

📖 Recommended For: Fans of cozy magical realism, readers fascinated by the philosophy of dreams, those who enjoy whimsical, fantastical settings, admirers of found family dynamics, and anyone interested in stories with anti-capitalist themes.

🔑 Key Themes: The Nature of Dreams, Free Will and Choice, Healing from Trauma, Community Care, Anti-Capitalism, The Value of Emotions.

Content Warnings

Docile: Memoirs of a Not-So-Perfect Asian Girl

Hyeseung Song

4.25

challenging emotional inspiring reflective medium-paced

“I did not just want dreams and happiness - the American construct - but to be able to reject things that came my way and not accept in famished gratitude whatever the world fed me.”

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for the eARC!

Hyeseung Song's "Docile: Memoirs of a Not-So-Perfect Asian Girl" is a poignant exploration of the American Dream's illusions, the harsh realities faced by immigrants, and one Asian American woman’s realization that she doesn’t need to be perfect. Through evocative prose, Song invites readers into her world, where the pursuit of perfection and acceptance often clashes with the complexities of her Korean American identity.

From the outset, Song's narrative captures the feeling of invisibility she experienced growing up in Texas, where her parents built a custom home in an up-and-coming subdivision. Despite her efforts to please those around her, especially her Umma, Song's childhood was marked by a lack of support and resources, common struggles among immigrant families. Song's poignant observation, “I heard and saw everything, as immigrant children are not shielded from much; in some cases, they are the shields themselves,” encapsulates the heavy burden of parentification many immigrant children bear.

Song's memoir is deeply introspective, offering readers a window into her parents' lives in Korea and how their past shaped their American experience. The family's financial struggles culminate in bankruptcy and the loss of their dream home, forcing young Hyeseung to navigate poverty and racial discrimination in a new predominantly white, middle-class community. This section of the memoir is particularly powerful, highlighting the resilience and adaptability required of immigrant children.

As Song matures, her struggle to balance Korean and American cultural expectations becomes more pronounced. The memoir delves into the patriarchal norms of Korean culture and the weight of her mother's expectations, which haunt her well into adulthood. Song's journey through high school and her time at Princeton is marred by racial microaggressions and a profound sense of being misunderstood. Her decision to take a year off from Princeton in search of a softer life reflects her ongoing quest for self-discovery and respite from the pressures of perfection.

The narrative reaches a critical point when Song moves to Korea at her parents' insistence during her gap year. Here, she feels lost between two cultures: “America or Korea: both countries claimed me, both rejected me. What, then, was the method by which I should choose and believe?” This sense of displacement, coupled with her severe depressive episodes, paints a vivid picture of her mental health struggles.

After returning to and graduating from Princeton, Song's battle with her mother's expectations leads her to Harvard Law, a path that exacerbates her mental health issues. Song's candid account of her suicide attempt and hospitalization is both harrowing and brave, shedding light on the stigma and challenges of mental illness within immigrant communities. Her eventual decision to leave law school, supported by her partner Nate, marks the beginning of her healing journey. Song's realization that survival and thriving may require going "off script" is a powerful testament to her resilience and determination to forge her own path.

Throughout the memoir, Song's writing is rich with descriptive language, vivid imagery, and metaphor, painting detailed pictures of both physical landscapes and emotional states. Her contemplative tone and reflective insights make this memoir a deeply personal and culturally resonant read. Themes of identity, belonging, and the tension between cultural worlds are explored with nuance, highlighting the conditional nature of love and acceptance within family and society. The memoir also delves into the power dynamics shaped by whiteness and the struggle for individuality amidst cultural and familial pressures. "Docile: Memoirs of a Not-So-Perfect Asian Girl" is a compelling and heartfelt journey of self-acceptance, cultural reconciliation, and one woman’s reckoning with her mental health. Thank you, Hyeseung, for sharing your story!

📖 Recommended For: Readers who resonate with introspective and evocative memoirs, those interested in the immigrant experience and mental health, anyone who values stories about navigating cultural identity and family expectations, fans of intimate and reflective writing.

🔑 Key Themes: The Immigrant Experience, Parentification and Family Dynamics, Mental Health and Bipolar Disorder, Cultural Identity and Belonging, Navigating Perfection and Self-Acceptance.

Content Warnings

Devil Is Fine

John Vercher

5.0

challenging dark emotional reflective tense medium-paced

Plot or Character Driven: A mix

Strong character development: Yes

Loveable characters: Yes

Diverse cast of characters: Yes

Flaws of characters a main focus: Yes

“What lies in the dirt?”

Devil Is Fine by John Vercher is a haunting exploration of grief, identity, and the deep scars left by racial trauma and colonial history. The novel begins with the funeral of the unnamed narrator’s son, Malcolm, setting the stage for an introspective and confessional narrative. Vercher’s lyrical prose immerses readers in the narrator’s tumultuous emotional landscape as he grapples with panic attacks, racial microaggressions, and a faltering career.

In the wake of Malcolm’s death, the narrator’s struggle to find validation for his experiences as a biracial Black man becomes a recurring theme. His boss’s dismissal of his current novel’s relevance underscores the pervasive social pressure to move past discussions of racial trauma, reflecting a broader critique of how Black voices are often silenced. The narrator’s pain is palpable as he navigates the complexities of fatherhood, sobriety, and a crumbling relationship with Malcolm’s mother, conflict only intensified by the death of their son.

Vercher skillfully delves into the narrator’s battle with alcohol abuse, a poignant depiction of the coping mechanisms some fathers turn to in the face of overwhelming racial trauma. The novel’s exploration of fatherhood is nuanced and deeply affecting, highlighting the wounds parents and children can inflict on each other. The narrator’s dedication to sobriety, catalyzed by a tragic accident involving Malcolm, and his subsequent relapse after his son’s death, adds layers of emotional complexity to his character.

The discovery of skeletal remains on the narrator’s inherited land introduces an element of eerie suspense. This plot twist not only heightens the novel’s tension but also serves as a stark reminder of the historical violence embedded in the land. The property’s history as a former plantation and the revelation that the remains likely belong to enslaved people illuminate the ongoing legacy of white supremacist colonialism.

Vercher’s use of horror elements is subtle yet effective, with the jellyfish sting that refuses to heal and the narrator’s increasing connection to the ocean adding an unsettling layer to the narrative. The narrator’s hallucinatory experiences and episodes of lost time blur the line between reality and delusion, intensifying the novel’s haunting atmosphere. The book’s darkly comedic moments provide necessary relief, balancing the weight of its themes with moments of levity.

At its heart, Devil Is Fine is a scathing critique of the ways in which white supremacist colonial capitalism constantly excuses and ignores the violence it inflicts. The novel’s introspective writing style, characterized by long, winding sentences and rich, evocative language, effectively conveys the narrator’s psychological and emotional struggle. The themes of psychological distress, identity, and the impact of personal and collective histories are explored with profound depth and nuance.

Devil Is Fine is a powerful and resonant read, with luscious prose and a propulsive, eerie plot. The ending, beautifully ambiguous and magically realistic, leaves a lasting impression. John Vercher’s novel is a must-read for those interested in diverse literary fiction that tackles timely and critical themes with nuance and insight. This book is an absolute five-star read and another strong contender for top read of the year.

📖 Recommended For: Lovers of introspective and lyrical prose, those interested in exploring the complexities of biracial identity, fans of psychological horror, and anyone who values narratives centered on the complexities of fatherhood and racial trauma.

🔑 Key Themes: Grief and Loss, Racial Trauma and Identity, Fatherhood and Biracial Identity, Legacy of Colonialism, Sobriety and Relapse, Psychological Distress and Hallucinations.

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bisexualbookshelf's reviews 793 reviews

bisexualbookshelf's reviews
793 reviews