ashliesydel's Reviews (1.54k)

 

I will be forever fascinated when authors pull back the curtains and allow readers a peek into their private and personal lived experiences.

This book explores the religious and cultural taboos, challenges, and fears of gay men of various brown backgrounds, many of which being first generation Americans shouldering the weight of expectations to be the perfect son expected to take full advantage of the opportunities not given to their parents. Often times said expectations included marrying a good woman and having kids.

The author sheds light on the intersectionality of being both brown and gay. He examined how being gay wasn't enough to be accepted in the queer community. How like any social structures you have to search for and find a community that specifically suites your needs.

Are you a Will or Jack? Do you wear your Pride Flag Proud or are you more of a conservative gay who prefers to keep your private life private at all costs?? How did one cope with being in the closet and/or coming out?

There were so many different things that caught my attention and really opened up social conversation. It reminded me of a scene from the movie Bros. In it, the male lead Bobby works for an LGBTQ non-profit and the various representatives from each subgroup are arguing who has it harder and wanting to be represented. As a spectator and straight woman this scene was only comical, however upon reading more LGBTQ memoirs and essays such as this book, I am quickly coming to the realization that the scene holds more truth than comedy and as an ally it went over my head.

Overall, this was enlightening and educational and provided new prospectives.

 

 My dad says it's better to have it and not need it than need it and not have it.

This is a quick essay by famed scholar Roxane Gay (Author of the Bad Feminist) discusses her personal journey with guns. From childhood to adulthood to her fear/rejection to her need to be armed and protect herself and home.

She also shares statistics and details of various court cases of gun owners who have been arrested, charged, or murdered.

I enjoyed the insight. 

 I hope that this book is required reading for anyone pursuing careers in social work, criminal justice, and/or education. It was eye opening, frustrating, educational, and opened up soo many different conversations about how your girls, specifically those of color who fall victim to adversity and how the government and society sets so many of them up for failure.

I listen to this on Audiobook, and I can tell you the number of times I found myself speaking right along with the narrator sharing my views on so many topics from poverty to the criminalization of existing, to society's fetishization and refusal to allow black and brown girls live soft lives and be children. The excessive use of force by authority figures, being labeled as difficult when simply asking questions, fighting stereotypes such as being loud, trouble, and having an attitude. There was soo much between these pages I can't even begin to break it all down for you.

So many of the firsthand accounts that were given in this book were relatable to me throughout my entire educational journey. From preschool through college as a student who was dismissed and barely graduated with a 1.4 GPA and asked by many if I was going to drop out despite never expressing an interest in doing so, to becoming a two-time college graduate who is rarely given credit for said accomplishments and often dismissed as unknowledgeable against my peers. I also recognized a lot of similarities within my own daughter's journeys with authority and educational institutions and how as a black mother, whenever I spoke up, I was treated as a nuisance and/or the enemy.

Another conversation is how Black women and young girls are constantly policed. Our bodies, our hair, our tone, our very existence. The fact that there had to be a law passed to stop employers from discriminating and/or punishing black women from wearing their hair naturally is just one of many sad examples of how combating a right to exist has been made.

I learned a lot in this book. I feel like each chapter could be used as a discussion. I would absolutely recommend this again for anyone in or pursuing a career in social work, education, or criminal justice, as well as any and all parents. 

 Trigger Warning: This woman gets done dirty in the beginning. Not only is she disrespected and betrayed, but she accepts it. Instead of grabbing the nearest sharp object fucking shit up, her shock triggers compliance and acceptance.

You will want to slap the shit out of her and go handle shit yourself. It's okay, I promise once you do a few breathing exercises with Doechii things will get better.

Our girl finds herself at a training school for unleashing your inner vixen and I was here for it. This is a fun, fast, and spicy journey of taking charge of your sexual power.