annoyingtiger888's Reviews (344)

This book was so much better than I expected. It was so intriguing and lighthearted, a true cozy mystery. The narrator's voice was so calming and relaxing and I loved her male voices. She did a wonderful job.

It's nice to finally find a main character that I don't hate lol She only annoyed me once when she defending [Redacted]. I get that they are friends, but come on. 

I really liked the characters and the story was well written. I wasn't fond of realizing there is a romance subplot, but it was small and I found myself smiling. It didn't feel forced or weird, it was cute.

I'm excited to read the next one c:

Possible spoiler ahead:

"If she is having an affair, who are we to judge?"

We are the people who don't cheat on their spouse. We are the people who don't marry old men simply because they are loaded. We have every right to judge someone like her and the fact that Em kept defending her really worked on my last nerve. Again, I know they are friends, but friends should be honest with each other. A true friend will speak up when you fuck up and try to get you back on track.

This chick is a gold digging, cheating psychopath and she 10000% needs to be judged for it.

I'm sorry, but this book is trash. The plot is terrible, the characters are terrible and it's boring as hell. The main character is so fucking horny that it's amazing she can function at all. 

"A blast from the AC cooled my face and left my nipples pleasantly puckered." Who the fuck says this? Who the fuck thinks this?

"If she were so inclined, she probably gave her husband good blowjobs." No normal human being looks at another human being's lips and thinks this. 

"Women fling themselves at Michael the way mating lovebugs splat themselves on car windshields in spring. I wouldn't be surprised if some of them bare razor scars on their wrists at the futility of it." Ah, yes, because women are so shallow, pathetic and man-hungry that they would literally self-harm just because a hot man is gay and they can't have him.

"She left me to make love to my pie."

"I opened the lid of a pot simmering on the stove and moaned like a cat in heat."

"With a dill pickle the size of a man's dick."

This is honestly so fucking gross and the main character is nasty, tasteless, and honestly sad. She's a fucking piece of cardboard that thinks of only sex, no other personality. Did a man write this? Oh wait a minute...

"It was a red Porsche that clearly screamed 'man with a little dick.'" Oh, I get it now. It was written by a feminist that thinks sex is somehow empowering! A man writes this trash and they are pigs obsessed with sex. But a woman writes it? She's so cool and empowering! You go, girlfriend! -_-

And now we're talking about a dude taking a dildo up his ass. It's like this author wanted to write erotica but knew she could reach a wider audience if she kept it just under the line. It's disgusting. 

And, of course, what would a trash book be without praising the psycho, sex-crazed bitch that was too lazy to get off her ass and get a real job so she resorted to blackmailing men and ruining lives. But of course, she's a girl boss! You go, girl!

"I felt a tug of reluctant admiration for the way she had gone about the business of blackmail. She had been resourceful, efficient and organized."

Absolute trash, this entire book.

I'm a sucker for pirate history, it's just so interesting to me. This book delivers history in a comical way, though it sometimes feels as if they're trying TOO hard to make the reader laugh. I won't lie, there were a few moments where I did laugh, but there were a lot of moments that I ended up groaning at the attempt of humor, especially in regards to puns.

If I had to label this, I'd say... it's silly history. It's real history, but done is a silly, theatrical way. I'm not sure if this book was aimed towards kids or not. I can see how it could be. If it's not, it was a bit too childish and pushed too hard to try and be funny.

I still enjoyed it, though. It was super interesting and I learned things I didn't know before. I love pirates.

I agree with the killer, Lydia does NOT shut the fuck up, jesus christ. She just keeps going on and on. Even in her own damn head, she can't shut up long enough to pay attention to the person she's talking to. I was hoping she would be better in the second book but she feels worse.

This is a grown ass, 40 year old woman acting like an angsty, cringey 20 year old dork with no friends. It's honestly embarrassing. Like, she sees a hot guy and she's IMMEDIATELY smitten with him, so much so that she actually feels JEALOUS when Heather is talking to him. Girl, you just met this man and you know NOTHING about him. Can you keep it in your pants and not act like a hormonal teenager for two seconds??

Also, when someone confronts you saying someone tried to kill them, you do not confront the possible murderer and ask them. This woman can NOT be that dumb... This character is so unlikeable.

Not to mention the Baby Lobster clickbait. You can't put him on the cover and then leave him behind as if he's not the main reason most people picked up the book in the first place. And now there's this cringe, weird romance to sit through.

I think that's it for me and this series.

I don't know about you, but reading the title made me believe this book would be a humorous, silly little adventure of an old man running away from the old folks home. It was not humorous and it was not silly. 

Why is this not listed as historical fiction? Most of the book was spent in the past where the main character interacts with multiple historical figures, all of which was extremely boring and dull. I think it was a mistake to add this to the book rather than focusing on the adventure he takes. 

Where is the character depth for the group he ends up traveling with? We learn bits and pieces about them, sure, but how are we meant to care anything about them when we rarely see them? Plus, they all go along with the adventure so easily.

"Hey, here's what happened, wanna join?" "Yeah okay, sure." That's basically what happens. There's no personality for these characters, no reason to care about them at all. And the one character - the main character - that we learn about is told through flashbacks to the past dealing with war, politics and historical figures. It's boring as hell and I was so tempted to skip those parts.

I didn't care about what happened in the past. I cared about what he was doing in the present, what his plan was. I wanted funny shenanigans. I wanted to see the main characters interact with each other more than a handful of times. As is stands, I don't have a single fuck to spare for any of them because they weren't sold to me. They were just kind of... there for plot purposes.

Maybe if the historical events were mentioned instead of told through more than half the book, it wouldn't have been so boring. It goes in depth, though, telling all the details of his life from the moment he was a child. I feel like the author tried to take two stories and mash them together and it just didn't work. Is this supposed to be a historical fiction about a 100 year old man's life? Or is this supposed to be a quirky, funny story about a 100 year old man who ran away and got up to law-breaking shit?

It fails on both ends because it tries too hard to be both. It's like not being sure if you're supposed to go left or right so you choose to go down the middle in the dirt.

Nothing makes me happier than witnessing the relationship between Thor and Loki. I know it's strained but, at the end of the day, they will always be brothers. They will always be family. I can't explain the burst of happiness I feel every time Loki calls him "brother" instead of just "Thor." 

Plus, every book is 10x better with Loki's ass there to create utter chaos and deliver the best sarcastic lines. The story wasn't too bad, either, though I was far more focused on those two than anything else. And the tiger lady because she's cool as shit.

A couple things did annoy me, though. For one, the music and the background noise was more distracting than anything and gave me a headache, especially at the parts where it made the voice lines hard to hear. I get it's supposed to be "a movie in your head" so they add sound effects to make it more authentic, but it was more distracting and annoying to me. 

Can we normalize just having rain sounds in the background of audiobooks? Please?

Another thing I didn't really understand was the need for a female narrator? Why would you hire another person just to say what chapter it is? Is the main narrator incapable of saying "chapter one"? 

Finally, the music between scene changes annoyed me so much. It was very distracting and I kept thinking the chapter was over or the story was coming to an end but nope, it was just a scene change. Completely unnecessary and very loud.

Marvel really out here doing too much.

Predictable and boring. All the characters suck.

What can I say? I'm a sucker for a psychopath in a mask, dressed in tight black clothes, with a gruff voice and a dark past.

This is the best book I've ever read. 

Upon finishing this book, I have come to a very important realization... I am a dragon. I love tacos! 🌮 But I don't like spicy salsa 😔 I am a Taco Dragon 🐲

I love Hercule so much and this narrator does such a good job with the accent. It makes me happy every time I hear it.

I was kind of disappointed to see that it was written from Hastings' point of view instead of Poirot. I want to know what our beloved detective is thinking and feeling, not what someone else is witnessing. I want to hear his inner voice, to hear his process.