HOLY SHIT WHAT

This would probably have to be one of the best finales I've ever read.

Eli and Uncle Dawn. I have not read this book in years. The last time I heard this story I was probably 5 or 6 years old so I guess you could say it's been a while.

This is the story of a boy named Eli who goes on a picnic with his Uncle Dawn and George (Eli's toy Elephant). But, when they're packing up and going home they forget to take George with them and it's not until dinner that Eli realises George isn't with him. Unfortunately it's too late to go out and find George so Eli is sent to bed alone. Magically Eli's curtain turns into a sort of flying curtain and they go off to find George, that's when they meet a bear. Don't worry it's just Uncle Dawn. Did I mention he's a magician? Anyway they all get home safe and sound. The end.

*tears up* This was such a big part of my childhood.

4.75 ⭐
HOLY CROW THAT WAS AN AMAZING EXPERIENCE! That was literally so much fun, The Spiderverse should be renamed The Sarcasmverse (what a bad pun). But seriously so many bad jokes were told, this comic made me so happy.

14/01/2016 ★★★★★
HOLY SHIT true story I just read this all in one go and it's currently 4 am and i'm so tired I can barely type but holy shit I'm in love.

15/01/2016 ★★★★★
So I just re-read this book immediately after finishing it the first time. Also, Simon has just reignited my love for Elliott Smith (If you haven't listened to 'Between The Bars' then we can't be friends).

03/07/2017 ★★★★★
I just full-on fell right back in love with Becky Albertalli's writing. I'm so glad I chose to re-read this before I picked up Upside, I am now 100x more excited to read it now!

06/03/2018 ★★★★★
I fucking love this book.

I'll be the first to admit that this isn't something I would usually pick up but I was reading a negative review on it and decided it sounded like something different that I'd like to try. I checked it out on my kindle and saw that it was free so I figured what the heck.

I literally just finished this book and I'm honestly not sure how I feel about it. It's not exactly a light read, obviously the main two characters both have addictions (Lily is addicted to sex and Lo is addicted to alcohol). Lily and Lo are really fucking problematic, I mean at times I found myself wanting to go straight up to them (Lily in particular) and shake them and scream at them to go to rehab. Lily and Lo have managed to convince themselves that by shutting out the rest of the world they'll be able to get by without hurting anyone. #EPIC FAIL. They both avoid their families like the plague.

"You're too skinny. You whine too much. And you enable an alcoholic." - Ryke (68%)
One of my two favourite characters from this book is probably Ryke. Ryke is a genuinely nice guy who tries (really fucking hard) to help Lo with his addiction throughout the novel. My other favourite would have to be Connor. Connor is such a nice guy like, what the hell? I honestly don't understand how one person could be that nice.

"I've trained myself to self-medicate with sex for so long that stopping seems so unfeasible, like trying to break a high-speed train before it crashes into a cement wall. So I'll crash. I'll splinter and break. But I'll feel damn good going two hundred miles an hour beforehand." - Lily (79%)

I'm not gonna lie it's incredibly depressing to read about two characters who feel like they can't even tell their own families about their addictions.

This is a trilogy but I think it's fine to leave it where I am and pretend like it's a stand-alone.

Side note: Considering one of the two main characters is addicted to sex there really isn't much sex in it. There are never-ending mentions of sex but not really any actual sex scenes.

The ending was a bit ridiculous but I certainly have a better idea of how to gamble now.

I really should listen to my brain. I hated Fangirl and I knew I would hate Carry On. I’m a sucker for reading what’s hyped up and this really was so I put it on hold at the library (thank God I didn’t buy it).

Carry On is a story about a boy named Simon Snow. Simon Sow is a complete rip off of Harry Potter. This is the story of Simon running around with his bff Penelope (aka. Hermione) and his soon-to-be bf Basil. Throughout the novel the ‘Golden Trio’ runs around trying to solve the mystery of Basil’s mother’s murder and trying to figure out who the Humdrum is and how to stop him.

There’s this character called The Mage (aka. Dumbledore) and I’ll be honest I hate Dumbledore in the HP universe so when I met this asshole I wanted to cry from pain. This guy actually managed to be more of an asshole than Dumbledore.

As, I’m talking about the characters I’ll talk about Baz. Basil is probably the only Interesting character in the entire novel. Well, that’s not true, I thought the Lucy character was interesting until we started learning about her and her past IT WAS SOO PREDICTABLE. Anyway, Basil. Basil is Draco Malfoy vampire style. Half this novel is pretty much what it would have been like if Harry and Draco had have been roommates in the novels. Basil is in love with Simon but he has a funny way of showing it. The sad thing is Baz didn’t arrive until page 150 so I had to put up with Simon moaning and going on about rubbish and being angry. Baz made the story a bit more interesting which is why I found it easier to continue reading.

Probably the main reason I hate this book is because you have to know the premise of Harry Potter to understand what’s going on. You shouldn’t have to know the plot of one series to understand a book by a different author.

Also, can I just talk about the spells for a minute? They are completely and utterly and ridiculously stupid. The spells are based on lyrics/poems and turns of phrase that are repeated a lot. Like, one of the spells used is “Call Me Maybe”.

Another thing, I hated the swearing – it didn’t contribute to the story and made me incredibly uncomfortable. I think part of the reason it made me soo uncomfortable is because this book is basically Harry Potter rewritten and no one swears in those books. Because this is so similar to Harry Potter it just unnerves me to have the story changed soo dramatically.

SOOO many people loved this book but I’m sorry I don’t think I could ever like this book. All this is is a rip off of Harry Potter and I hate it. 

25/06/2019
2 ⭐
yikes™
This was a whole-ass mess and I'm scared by how much 12 yr old me liked Edward because I kind of think Bella needs to put out a restraining order against him...

TW: Death, injury, loss of a loved one, stalking, unhealthy relationship (not challenged)
★★☆☆☆

Character Guide ⇩
►Bella Swan → Main character, human
►Charlie Swan → Bella’s father, Chief of Police
►Edward Cullen → Vampire, can read minds
►Alice Cullen → Vampire, can “see” the future
►Jasper Hale → Vampire
►Rosalie Hale → Vampire
►Emmett Cullen → Vampire
►Jacob Black → Bella’s friend, lives on the Reservation
►Jessica Stanley → Bella’s friend (Anna Kendrick)
►Angela Weber → Bella’s friend
►Mike Newton → Bella’s friend (kind of, mostly he just makes her uncomfortable because he has a crush on her)
►Billy Black → Jacob’s father

“I like the night. Without the dark, we’d never see the stars.”

This is the first entry into my reviews of the Twilight series, I wanted to re-read these books critically and see if they still held up to how much I loved them as 12 year old. And, I think it’s safe to say, that the first book, at least, did not. BUT, that I thought it would be a lot worse than it was. That being said, while I was well prepared for the awfulness that is Edward (or Edweird as I’ve dubbed him) I was not prepared for the absolutely dull and shabby character that is Bella.

Bella was always what I loved most about the Twilight series, especially in the first book because I thought she was a badass and completely relatable. Now I realise that what she really needs is parents who pay attention and at least one stable friendship. Honestly, more than anything, the realisation that Bella is basically a nothing character who likes books and has a crush on a boy was awful for me. I always loved Bella as a teen, and it honestly worries me that I looked up to her as much as I did. What was I thinking?

“And so the lion fell in love with the lamb…,” he murmured.
“What a stupid lamb,” I sighed.
“What a sick, masochistic lion.”

I would say that Twilight is an easy read, too easy really. But, I wouldn’t call it enjoyable.

I think over the years my tolerance for Bella has dwindled, and I’ve obviously gone from idolising her to thinking she needs to get some serious psychiatric help. I know Rebecca who I’m buddy reading the series with, really didn’t like Bella as a character and often got impatient with her.

I agree that Bella often annoyed me too and I think some of that can be chalked up to her being a teenager (sorry teen me but you were annoying af). BUT, eventually, we have to just admit that the poor girl must have a death wish. Honestly, I think she probably never got enough attention from her mother (and now Charlie, but she’s okay with it because it’s what she’s used to) and now that someone (Edweird) is actually paying attention to her she’s totally fixated on them. I think I compared her attraction to Edward as something akin to Stockholm Syndrome. Obviously, that comparison has its problems, but I also think that it works to a degree. Bella often does feel trapped by Edward and he is really really controlling. I’m not an Edward stan, that’s for sure.

So, I don’t think Bella is the whole problem. I’m not sure what to think of Bella – I think her characterisation is mainly a product of the poor writing and obvious lack of development. If she had more of a personality and actually physically and mentally had the stamina and capacity to fight back instead of relying on Edward & the other Cullens I think she would be a different character altogether. Without those key attributes, she’s more of a shell than a person – she’s definitely the type of person most people would ignore in school so it’s interesting to me that she’s so popular in the book. She has no personality and rarely hangs out with her friends – though interestingly she does have fun when she’s with her friends and conversely is usually scared, angry or crying whenever she’s with Edward.

I’m not going to go super into what I think of Edward in this review because I can assure you, I will have a lot to say about him in my review of New Moon (coming later this month!). But, I will say that I think he is very one dimensional, and like Bella only seems to really have one or two moods that just switch one and off intermittently – his being anger and smugness. I also definitely think that he is mentally manipulative towards Bella so, I’m sure you can see why I’m not a big fan of him. I really don’t see why he likes Bella at all, but maybe that’s just me reading too much into a book that was never designed to be read into?

“What if I’m not a superhero? What if I’m the bad guy?”

Overall, Twilight has definitely not lived up to the hype my 12-year-old self associated it with and I was less than impressed with the writing and characters overall. However, I am very interested to see what I think of New Moon, as I know I only ever read it once. Whereas, I re-read all of the other books multiple times. And, I know that I found the movie absolutely depressing. 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️ All I can say is that this series has me intrigued and I’m definitely interested to see what I think of the next three books!

TW: Death, injury, loss of a loved one, stalking, unhealthy relationship (not challenged)

FIND THIS REVIEW AND OTHER CONTENT ON MY BLOG

24/07/2019
4⭐
I am genuinely falling in love with these characters, I can't wait to pick up book 3 and continue the series!