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alisarae's Reviews (1.65k)
Disappointed I didn’t like this book. I wish the entire story had been told through the Congressional Inquiry documents and testimonies because those parts of the book were more engaging. The straightforward storytelling parts were so boring.
Dark books about teenage girl friendships will always hit me in a good way. The writing and voice were perfect.
A few things you should know before you read:
- Kerri Rawson is very midwestern evangelical Christian and the chance to share her testimony is what gave her courage to speak publicly. It’s heavy on the Christiany seasoning.
- The book follows a very standard ghostwritten format so if that style bothers you... heads up.
- Lots of uninteresting and unnecessary details about her childhood in the first half of the book. No big revelations about life with a serial killer dad there.
As far as anyone is able to tell, Dennis Rader was not abused, neglected, or humiliated as a child like so many other serial killers are. It seems that he was born with some brain problem that affects his ability to empathize. He did feel things though: when the family dog died, he cried... etc. Many of his narcissistic traits are honestly not that different from what most middle aged, middle class white dudes would say and do. Of course now we can point them out and say he doesn’t feel things in a normal healthy human experience. But if you didn’t know he was a murderer, you wouldn’t see anything out of the ordinary. His daughter Kerri tries, and succeeds, at making this point: to her, he was her loving, protective dad, and she lost someone that she loved on the day that he was arrested (physically and emotionally lost her dad). Aside from the whole family having to walk on eggshells when Rader was in a bad mood, and him flipping out whenever Kerri or her mom got hurt (was anger a mask for being physically excited at female pain?), he was a good dad. So much of Kerri’s adult life is about processing the grief of betrayal, loss of her family unit, and recognizing that she too is a victim of her father’s crimes.
In fact, this is one of the better points of the book: Kerri’s open discussion of her lifelong struggle with depression and anxiety, as well as postpartum depression and PTSD after her dad was arrested. She talks about how those illnesses manifested in her life, how they affected her quality of life, and some of the treatment and therapies she has done. It is refreshing to hear a Christian talk about mental illness as something that needs to be treated professionally with medication and quality trained therapists. She stresses that prayer and repeating some bible verses like mantras helped her in the midst of panic attacks. But what took away the panic attacks completely was desensitivity/exposure therapy. So maybe if you know a Christian who needs to seek professional help but doesn’t believe in stuff besides praying, this book could be an encouragement towards the right direction.
The other thing this book does very well is humanize Dennis Rader as a person deserving of justice and fair treatment. He did awful awful things. But he is very mentally ill. And a sick person is just as in need of care (even more so?!) as a normal person. Kerri admits that she has moments of anger, sadness, and rage against her father. There are things she cannot tolerate doing, as they are too triggering. But she also has moments of sadness that her dad will never be able to experience life with her anymore, and both of them are missing out on wonderful memories. I could really understand that duality. It’s sad either way. Kerri says at the end that she is working on forgiveness because she doesn’t want to be burdened with bitterness. That is the takeaway for me.
- Kerri Rawson is very midwestern evangelical Christian and the chance to share her testimony is what gave her courage to speak publicly. It’s heavy on the Christiany seasoning.
- The book follows a very standard ghostwritten format so if that style bothers you... heads up.
- Lots of uninteresting and unnecessary details about her childhood in the first half of the book. No big revelations about life with a serial killer dad there.
As far as anyone is able to tell, Dennis Rader was not abused, neglected, or humiliated as a child like so many other serial killers are. It seems that he was born with some brain problem that affects his ability to empathize. He did feel things though: when the family dog died, he cried... etc. Many of his narcissistic traits are honestly not that different from what most middle aged, middle class white dudes would say and do. Of course now we can point them out and say he doesn’t feel things in a normal healthy human experience. But if you didn’t know he was a murderer, you wouldn’t see anything out of the ordinary. His daughter Kerri tries, and succeeds, at making this point: to her, he was her loving, protective dad, and she lost someone that she loved on the day that he was arrested (physically and emotionally lost her dad). Aside from the whole family having to walk on eggshells when Rader was in a bad mood, and him flipping out whenever Kerri or her mom got hurt (was anger a mask for being physically excited at female pain?), he was a good dad. So much of Kerri’s adult life is about processing the grief of betrayal, loss of her family unit, and recognizing that she too is a victim of her father’s crimes.
In fact, this is one of the better points of the book: Kerri’s open discussion of her lifelong struggle with depression and anxiety, as well as postpartum depression and PTSD after her dad was arrested. She talks about how those illnesses manifested in her life, how they affected her quality of life, and some of the treatment and therapies she has done. It is refreshing to hear a Christian talk about mental illness as something that needs to be treated professionally with medication and quality trained therapists. She stresses that prayer and repeating some bible verses like mantras helped her in the midst of panic attacks. But what took away the panic attacks completely was desensitivity/exposure therapy. So maybe if you know a Christian who needs to seek professional help but doesn’t believe in stuff besides praying, this book could be an encouragement towards the right direction.
The other thing this book does very well is humanize Dennis Rader as a person deserving of justice and fair treatment. He did awful awful things. But he is very mentally ill. And a sick person is just as in need of care (even more so?!) as a normal person. Kerri admits that she has moments of anger, sadness, and rage against her father. There are things she cannot tolerate doing, as they are too triggering. But she also has moments of sadness that her dad will never be able to experience life with her anymore, and both of them are missing out on wonderful memories. I could really understand that duality. It’s sad either way. Kerri says at the end that she is working on forgiveness because she doesn’t want to be burdened with bitterness. That is the takeaway for me.
The first book I read by Nora Ephron was I Remember Nothing. I loved that book and it made me laugh and cry.
I Feel Bad About My Neck was not as good. The final essays were nice, but the rest of it wasn’t particularly interesting nor funny. Meh
I Feel Bad About My Neck was not as good. The final essays were nice, but the rest of it wasn’t particularly interesting nor funny. Meh
This book is a very, very thorough play-by-play of Lizzie Borden’s trial. I was committed to reading the whole thing, but I got mired down around the 40% mark. I watched the 2008 movie Lizzie to see if I wanted to keep reading the book, then I skimmed the rest of part 2 and read all of part 3. Part 3 is the most interesting because it reviews different camps of theories about who killed the Bordens. The author does not explicitly take sides, but it is clear that she really likes the theory set forth in the film Lizzie.
Personally, I’m a fan of a combo of theories: Lizzie was sexually abused by her father, the maid knew about it and was sympathetic, plus she was staring in the face of being cut out of her inheritance and impoverished. She saw a possibility of escape, and she took it. But there is no way to prove any of this... except for a tantalizing detail at the very end of the book—there is a document still protected under client-council privilege that has never been revealed to the public. Might it contain Lizzie’s true account of what happened?
Personally, I’m a fan of a combo of theories: Lizzie was sexually abused by her father, the maid knew about it and was sympathetic, plus she was staring in the face of being cut out of her inheritance and impoverished. She saw a possibility of escape, and she took it. But there is no way to prove any of this... except for a tantalizing detail at the very end of the book—there is a document still protected under client-council privilege that has never been revealed to the public. Might it contain Lizzie’s true account of what happened?
I love octopuses and cephalopods and I have been wanting to read this book since before it was published. I had hoped that it would be more descriptive of human-octopus interactions—I could listen to those sorts of stories for hours—but it is mostly a textbook on evolutionary biology and the evolution of the nervous system.
Something that the author skirted around and didn’t even try to propose a personal theory is the purpose of the highly complex visual skin displays that cephalopods are capable of. Why would an animal with a 2 year lifespan, who lives a mostly solitary life, need to have evolved such a complex biological feature? He mentions a study that was published a couple decades ago that mapped the visual displays as a structured language. This study was largely ignored because of the way it was written (conversational instead of cold science language) and so the author spent little time on it. But honestly, that’s what I wanted the entire book to be about. These creatures possess the physical ability to have a language that is more complex than humans’ and yet, as far as we understand, there is no biological necessity for it. That is just one of their many characteristics that throws evolutionary theory out the window, and yet the author spent the entire book justifying the few characteristics that are easily explained. Sigh.
Something that the author skirted around and didn’t even try to propose a personal theory is the purpose of the highly complex visual skin displays that cephalopods are capable of. Why would an animal with a 2 year lifespan, who lives a mostly solitary life, need to have evolved such a complex biological feature? He mentions a study that was published a couple decades ago that mapped the visual displays as a structured language. This study was largely ignored because of the way it was written (conversational instead of cold science language) and so the author spent little time on it. But honestly, that’s what I wanted the entire book to be about. These creatures possess the physical ability to have a language that is more complex than humans’ and yet, as far as we understand, there is no biological necessity for it. That is just one of their many characteristics that throws evolutionary theory out the window, and yet the author spent the entire book justifying the few characteristics that are easily explained. Sigh.
This series is sweet, naïve, and has just enough drama to powder your doughnuts with. I read the first three books last December and got to finish the series this December. I’m satisfied with the ending.
Lemme say though, if that proposal had happened to me at that time and place.... there would not be a ring on my finger.
Lemme say though, if that proposal had happened to me at that time and place.... there would not be a ring on my finger.
This thin book is a straightforward and systematic, albeit pithy, look at Christian fasting. It covers pretty much every reference to fasting in the Bible; questions about motivation; and practical concerns—types of fasts, how to start and break a fast, physical health signs, etc. Besides all that, it has a simple diary of a 21-day fast by a friend of the author, and I thought that was inspiring and encouraging.
There are two gaps the book didn't really address: eating disorders that are so common today (this is an older book), and needing to be careful about sodium/electrolytes during and after a fast. Understandably, these psychological and physiological areas are not the author's domain—he shouldn't be offering medical advice to address these issues, but mentioning the need to consult a doctor would have been good.
Otherwise, I think this is a great to-the-point book that checks a Christian's motivation, challenges them to deeper worship, and provides answers to nearly every spiritual fasting question you can think of.
There are two gaps the book didn't really address: eating disorders that are so common today (this is an older book), and needing to be careful about sodium/electrolytes during and after a fast. Understandably, these psychological and physiological areas are not the author's domain—he shouldn't be offering medical advice to address these issues, but mentioning the need to consult a doctor would have been good.
Otherwise, I think this is a great to-the-point book that checks a Christian's motivation, challenges them to deeper worship, and provides answers to nearly every spiritual fasting question you can think of.
