skimmed for the kids. middle grade is middle grade but a decent book about grief and self actualization. would recc for queer and questioning kiddos who like ghosts

Though not really my thing, this is at times touching, and I think exploring things like identity and trauma through fantasy/magical realism/the supernatural is a really helpful way to "out-source" those emotions into something more tangible and easy to engage with, so I think the ghost story angle was very well-chosen, especially considering  Bug's uncle, who is a well-drawn character.

The one thing I worry about, and this is somewhat in audience, is that the femininity presented is almost always a heavy stereotype--I'm a woman who was always uncomfortable with talks about boys and fashion and the need for make-up. I was even a girl who wore dresses frequently as a child and as I've grown up found myself more uncomfortable in them. I don't always like all my features, but I am okay, broadly, with being female and presenting that way. But I have felt MANY of the things that Bug also feels without reaching the same conclusion, which could be confusing for girls like me. 

There are occasionally touches of nuance to this--Bug's mom is described as not dressing up a lot, though Bug thinks "she would if she had a reason," and later on some girls are introduced that are not quite as obsessed with boys, and there are other, deeper ways Bug's discomfort is displayed.

But I worry a little in attempt to get across the feeling of your body being the wrong gender, this book leans on putting femininity in a box that it doesn't belong in. You don't *have* to be into makeup and boys and dresses as a girl, either. And while I can see this as a good representation of one experience, I wish it had been more careful in the broad conclusions it suggests because of it.