I first read this when I was 17, 20 years ago when it was first published. I didn't know anything about the world, and Johnny Truant seemed really edgy and I missed the entire point of the novel. Back then I took it straight: Johnny found these notes by Zampano, fixated on them, and discovers it's real. The neverending expanding house was the coolest thing I'd ever heard of and I wished it were real.

As an adult, a mother, and a wife, my take is completely different now. There are several dozen theories about what actually happens/who wrote it and why. I've read that this is a love story (between Will and Karen), that it's not horror, this and that character isn't real or is a figment of someone's imagination.

This time around I was fascinated by Johnny's relationship with his mother, and the hidden complexity of Karen.

House of Leaves is a tangle of mental illness, wish fulfillment, and alternate lives. The story weaves in and out of itself with multiple layers of narration (including "footnotes", the appendix, and visual evidence). Johnny, the main narrator, is self admittedly biased and inaccurate. He lies, twists, and exaggerates every chance he gets. Zampano, Johnny's mother Pelafina, and Karen serve as the other narrators, and equally manipulate the story so it's pulled in multiple directions. The labyrinth, the Minotaur, mothers, and fathers all play symbolic roles in each narration. Greek myth and legend are referenced heavily throughout, as well as several scholarly and philosophical theories.

To some people, House of Leaves is a tome, and unreadable. And I can see that. The book itself is a labyrinth, or house of mirrors, reflecting in upon itself and distorting any clear narration beyond readability. But if you read it, and I devoured it, and you keep the threads of narration clear in your mind, it's highly entertaining. I love all of the discussion around this book. It's like a puzzle that comes out differently depending on your life experiences and who you decide wrote the book.

So here's my theory: Johnny is real but he's nothing like he wants you to think. He's a disfigured young man who has drowned himself in addiction, and has become a hermit, squatting in an abandon building. He lives entirely in his mind, and all he does day in and out is write obsessively about a fictional world that he retreats into. This is the true horror of the book. The tragedy of a young man who has been let down by the system, with no one to help him.

Johnny's true story: His mother tried to kill him twice when he was little. Once by dumping corn oil on him, and again when she attempted to choke him. She was probably sent to prison rather than an asylum and may not have actually written him any letters. He created the letters to comfort himself that someone still loves him. I don't think Johnny has a father, he was immediately orphaned and sent to foster care. But because of his physical disfigurement he never fit in, and the trauma has damaged his psyche permanently. He retreated into books and literature, finding solace in higher learning. He identified with the Minotaur, a disfigured man child locked up by his father and abandoned by his mother. Raymond may be real, or just a figurehead for the foster system that failed him. He ran away at 13 and has been living on the streets, doing odd jobs until his PTSD prevents it. By the time he's 18, he's living in isolation and fantasizing 24/7, only getting food when he has to. Any stories about his childhood, Alaska, sexual encounters, good memories of his parents are all fictional.

Zampano and the Navidson Record: By creating this storyline, Johnny has given himself a purpose in life. He will be the messenger for a made up Zampano, a highly intelligent and creative blind man who has a score of beautiful readers at his beck and call. Zampano creates the Navidson Record, of which none is real. Will Davidson and Karen portray a beautiful but troubled family, with their 2 kids Daisy and Chad. The growing and expanding house is Johnny's labyrinthian mental illness, whether it be bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, or something else. The growl from the Monster (the Minotaur) is Johnny's reality creeping in, threatening to bring down the house of mirrors.

Will recruits his best friend Reston, and a bad ass explorer Halloway, to help explore the House. Friends that Johnny will never have but desires. Karen, his wife, is beautiful, emotional, loving, and sexually available. Will is constantly under threat from the house and in the end it's Karen who saves him. The mother figure. Johnny wants to be Will, and he wants love and salvation from Karen. Will ends up disfigured as a result of the last expedition, and Karen has debilitating cancer. They are happy with each other, but Johnny will never have anyone as a result of his disfigurement and deep trauma.

I think Johnny dies at the end because the Navidson Record ends. It stops abruptly because he's not creating any more. He's died alone in his squatter's hole, surrounded by these notes. Someone else found them and published it (in the world of the novel).

I'd love to hear what anyone thinks of this theory or your own take on it!

This was as mind bending as the reviews said it was. I've had this book on my shelves for 20 years. It's followed me through three cross-country moves. I've picked it up and thought about reading it at least a dozen times during those years, but never felt quite ready to tackle it.

I'm glad I waited. If I had tried this when I was younger, I would have written it off as a pretentious mess and a waste of time. Now, though, I'm older and (somewhat wiser), so I enjoyed the challenge it presented. I missed a lot (and I mean a LOT), but I'll reread it eventually, and I know I'll pick up on stuff I missed. Every review I've read so far has said that this book won't be the same read twice, and I believe it. The convoluted footnotes, translations, narrative shifts, and wonky page layouts mean there are half a dozen different ways you can read this book. In a few years, I'll give it another try. I enjoyed it enough to put it back on the shelf for later.

a very good idea but i think it failed somewhere.. maybe a little overworked or maybe i just didn't get the point