wordsofclover's Reviews (2.16k)

One I've been reading on and off my entire pregnancy journey, I highly recommend this as a comforting, friendly read for anyone who is looking at a positive test thinking 'omg, I don't know anything!'

From early pregnancy symptoms and tips, to a deeper dive into pregnancy care, labour and birth and what you can expect from it all, I found Marie Louise's voice throughout just really nice and calming, and I can truly believe she must be an excellent person to have in a birthing room with you!

While I can't say for sure yet what parts really helped me for birth, I do feel confident with what I've learned in this book as well as grateful for aftercare tips and some newborn care tips as well that I can flick back through when I'm on the other side. I also have found some of the dad books pretty terrible so I have marked parts of this book for my husband to read (though will he get through the sections in the next 6 weeks, we will see!) as I think there are segments on labour, birthing partner tips and just postpartum and newborn care he would really benefit knowing. 

As someone rapidly approaching gibing birth, I picked this book up obviously intrigues to see what the title meant and if I would gain and tips or insights into arguably one of the scariest, transforming and life changing moments I can imagine going through.

I do think this book is good for people who are pregnant and not pregnant as well as those who want to give birth and maybe people who aren't interested but are looking to support partners or indeed just intrigued by this non fiction text.

However, I probably wouldn't recommend to anyone who is highly anxious about birth or people who may have issues with doctors or 'white coat syndrome'. One of the downfalls of this book is an unspoken emphasis that a home birth is the exemplary choice, both as a feminist and in terms of the least amount of medical push in when in reality, home birth is just not an option for so many different reasons for a majority of women. There are some horror stories shared by some women about their births from forced inductions, sweeps etc and while I would have liked a mix of stories for maybe times when medical interventions worked out best to give some balance, it's not necessarily a far cry from the general stories you end up hearing when people find out you're pregnant and think you need to know about their traumatic birth.

I did feel a certain kind of power reading this book though - even in just adding to a mental toolkit of how to prepare to stand up for myself and my birth preferences, to remind myself that I don't have to necessarily agree with every single thing a doctor or midwife tells me - I'm allowed to use my voice, ask for reasons and opinions, and use the BRAIN method - and doing this, doesn't make me a bad mother, it just means that I'm standing up for myself and in turn my child. And because of this, I'm really glad I read this book as I think I needed some of the knowledge that this text gave me.

HOWEVER, the version of the book I read had an updated chapter that I really felt was so unnecessary and put a damper on the reading experience for me which is the author wading into the trans debate, and who can or can't call themselves a woman. While I see where the author tried to come from, to a point, in terms of the language used in the book and how important the 'woman' label is in the labour room for what she was talking about when it comes to dismissal of fears etc by medical staff and how it's a feminist/equality issue, she failed to open her eyes how being a transman or non binary person in a similar situation could be even worse and these people could end up with an even more extensive list of ways they weren't listened to when it comes to their bodily autonomy, pronouns, names, etc not to mention any bad attitudes among hospital staff adding to a traumatic birth (and also not to even start on any mental health problems pregnancy could bring to a transperson due to body dysmorphia etc). And adding in a line about how 'JK Rowling tweeted to support you' is not a flex, it's a massive turn off.

So the ending was really unfortunate. I don't want to rate this book really low due to the fact I did gain something important from it for myself ahead of my own birth experience but I can't ignore the absolute doozy of that last chapter either. 

 When Abby Reynolds loses her boyfriend, apartment and her job in a few consecutive months, she ends up having to high tail it from New York to her small Irish hometown Clonard to bunk with her sister for a few weeks/months, well as long as it takes. Struggling to come to terms with her luck, Abby gets reacquainted with an old friend called Luke but it's probably a bad idea to fall for someone local when she's looking for the next job out of town.

Catherine Walsh is fast becoming a firm favourite author of mine - this is the second book of hers I've read and I really love the way she writes characters and relationships and doesn't go too overboard with sex, cheese or even the third-act breakup. I loved Abby and really felt for what she was going through and a lot of the struggles she had with Luke also felt very relatable. I loved the vaster set of side characters such as Beth and Rory as well as Abby's sister Louise and her husband Tomaz - not to mention the strengthening relationship between Louise and Abby as well which was lovely to see. 

In the tenth Maeve Kerrigan book, DS Maeve Kerrigan is still recovering from the horrific incident she experienced in the ninth book - and everyone around her, including her partner DI Josh Derwent can see she's not herself. As Maeve struggles to figure out a murder case, Josh ropes her into a different undercover job that takes her away from London and into the idyllic suburban Jellicoe Close - to pretend to be living in romantic bliss with Josh. But behind the perfect gardens, more than one dark mind lurks.

I listened to this on audiobook and I was so hooked. This series always delivers some fantastic crime investigations and some truly horrid characters and this one was no different but I loved the different environment as instead of Kerrigan and Derwent, we have Josh and Maeve who hold hands and snuggle on the couch together with the blinds up. This gives Maeve the space to heal and begin to come back to herself - including her softer feminine side, and her sensual side as well as her tough and intelligent police mind for putting together all the clues and getting her guy. I also enjoyed seeing Josh in a more domestic environment - still sometimes saying the wrong thing and getting away with it but continuing to always look out for Maeve in ways she needs, and we learn in ways he needs to. This gave me what I've been wanting for the teasing of a Maeve-Josh pairing but also left us wanting so much more with a rather heartbreaking resolution.

I also was happy to see Maeve working with Georgia in a better way in this book as in past books there's been a bit of girl on girl dislike here (though sometimes Georgia has deserved it). Georgia herself has grown and become better at her job and Maeve is finally giving her the space to prove herself and grow in confidence - and the friendliness between them was refreshing and I hope we see this bond grow more in future books or at least Maeve trusting and liking Georgia more than before!

My only problem with this series is I always want to read them all at once but then I'm afraid of not having any left!

A beautifully written selection of short stories following lives and moments of a handful of gay men in Nigeria - the loves they found and lost, the ones that completed and destroyed them and also how they were seen by the world or had to hide their love away.

Like most story collections, I didn't love every one of these but the majority of them really touched me in some way, and I enjoyed seeing small bits of these ordinary lives in Nigeria and how gay men still felt like they had to act or hide to keep themselves or their loved ones safe. An insight into a part of Nigerian culture I haven't read too much about before and I enjoyed, and appreciated it.

It's 1917 and Laura Iven is recovering from her own wounds received on the warfront as a nurse when she receives news that her brother Freddie is missing, presumed dead. With no answers and a lot of questions, Laura travels to Belgium to see what she can find out about Freddie, acommpanied by two other women with their own goals in mind, and they all hear about a fabled musician who haunts the paths of the soldiers on the front and who may have a connection to Freddie.

This was a beautiful, lyrical and quietly devastating story that didn't gloss away from the horrific side of war - both from the soldiers and the nurses/doctors POV. I thought Laura was a great character - very stoic and determined and tough beyond worse but we see hidden glimpses of softness when she allowed herself to crack open with a certain few people.

I actually preferred Laura's POV to Freddie's and while the speculative/magical element of the fiddler in this was haunting, I could have actually enjoyed the story without it as more of a sister seeks brother lost at war tale. Freddie and Winter's bond was also one that was heart wrenching but also slightly unbelievable to a point considering they hardly knew one another.

I did enjoy this and I love Katherine Arden's writing but this wasn't a new favourite which I had hoped it would be.