wordsofclover's Reviews (2.16k)

In Are You There God? It's Me, Ellen, author and journalist Ellen Coyne examines her own relationship with the Catholic faith she grew up in, and wonders if it's possible to still be a Catholic in Ireland today as a modern woman, with a modern ideology on life.

I thought this was a very easy, enjoyable book to listen to and while I didn't grow up as deeply entrenched in religion the way Ellen did, I also grew up in an Irish household with a father who believes quite strongly, and went to a N.S where I made my communion and confirmation. I was in the children's choir for family mass, and was a regular reader of the Prayers of the Faithful. Similar to Ellen, I also then broke away from the church in my teen years as I started to become more aware of the corruption and power imbalance at play, and the harm that the church as an institution has done to Ireland, in particular to women and children. I'm getting married this year, and have opted to avoid a religious ceremony as I don't feel right or comfortable invoking religion on our marriage (and don't agree with many of the wordings in a Catholic marriage ceremony about a woman's place in the home and to her husband). Yet, despite all of this, I also understood Ellen's needs to examine what it means to be Catholic today and I was intrigued to see what she learned about if it's even possible to be a pro-choice, pro-gay rights young Catholic in Ireland that is allowed to be critical of the church's historic failings.

I thought this was a fair and measured look at the Catholic Church's history in Ireland and what it means for a young person trying to find a way in now. Ellen Coyne is a journalist, and I can feel you can tell this by how the book is written - it's easily digestible and while this book is aimed at an Irish reader, news stories and cultural moments are described well that those outside of Ireland with a lesser understanding should feel up to speed quick enough in different sections. There was a large emphasis in this book on the Repeal the 8th movement and the referendum to grant abortion rights to the women of Ireland, as it was a changing point for Ellen with her faith (and while I don't agree with some of her views around when 'life' begins, I appreciate and respect her sharing of what it meant for her to vote with a Christian heart), and was also another moment aspects of the Church reared its ugly head and we still often see some terrible things said or done to or about women in a very vulnerable place because of the Chruch's stance on abortion rights.

I liked that Ellen not only spoke to Catholic priests and leaders but also had some eye-opening conversations with others in the Christian faith such as a lesbian vicar with the Church of Ireland, and how while it may have been easier for her to just divert to a different church, Ellen is a Catholic and wanted to remain so.

While I certainly won't be going back to mass anytime soon or declaring myself a Catholic, this book has reassured me that there are some modern leaders and people really trying within the Catholic Church in Ireland, and it's not as depressing and archaic as one originally thinks. And that the Catholic Church as an institution is oft times completely separate to how people behave and treat others with a Catholic mindset, with love, kindness and empathy in their hearts. I appreciate what Ellen looked into in this book, and that she didn't allow the Church away with some of its big mistakes and made it clear what it needs to do to have a true future in Ireland, in a country where state and church are completely separated as they should be. 

When Hannah meets up with an old colleague Mel, she learns that their former boss, Head Chef Daniel Costello, has been accused of sexual assault and set to stand trial. The news makes Hannah think about the summer she worked in Daniel's restaurant T, and the hectic work/life/play balance they all managed to walk - plus the tense yet seemingly innocent relationship she formed with Daniel until everything came crashing down.

This book is told through three separate POV's - Hannah's POV is mostly reflecting on the past, on her experiences working in T and her relationships with the other front of house staff as well as those in the kitchen (or on 'the line'). We see Hannah as a 21-year-old learning what it's like to work in a fast paced world and play even harder in Celtic Tiger Ireland with shots after work and the occasional line in the bathroom. I think the tense atmosphere of a professional kitchen and the God-like status a Head Chef commands is described really well in this book. The waitresses aren't always treated the best by customers but tend to earn more because of tips, and we also see how they are often belittled, mocked and handled roughly by male staff but they put up with because they think they have to. There is a lot of misogyny in this book - both blatant and discreet - and I thought Hannah's recollections of a time in T were a really good way of describing the atmosphere as a whole, and also act as a direct contrast to what we're learning from Daniel as well.

"Being a chef is a vocation, not a job."

Daniel's POV for me was one of the most interesting and skilled in the book. Many times reading a book in which we are hearing about SA, it tends to be black and white - the rapist is ugly, rude, mean - you're almost not surprised when he commits an act so ugly but Daniel often appears the opposite. He is a man who worked his way up from nothing, a family man with a lovely wife and two happy kids, he's handsome and successful and as he asks his wife "Do I seem, have I ever seemed, like a man who needs to force a woman to have sex with me?" Of course he has a temper but all chefs do, it's part of working in the industry but as we learn from Daniel, he mentored, he educated, he tried to help the men and women who came through under his charge. I thought the way Sarah Gilmartin created this man on the verge of losing everything really well - he is not remorseful because he has (in his mind) done nothing wrong. He is angry but more than that he is scared not only of losing his livelihood but of losing his family. This man, accused of being a rapist and a harasser, becomes an object of pity in the reader's eyes and I for a while did wonder at the truth behind the claim especially when we learn who the claimant is - and that's another great discussion brought into the book by the author, what makes a perfect victim and how in society's eyes a victim should look and act.

"I am not unused to being looked at, I am unused to being looked at in this way. The difference, I feel now (...) is the difference between winning and losing, life and death."

Julia's POV acts as a bridge between Hannah and Daniel - she has her foot on both sides. We see her angry and embarrassed by Daniel's actions but she wants them not to be true for herself and her family but also she remembers the girls who came through T, and particularly the ones who abruptly left, and she wonders. She also thinks back to her own history with Daniel, and the times she's heard him talk about women in specific ways. Julie is easy to like, she can't be this hero who at once stands against her husband and never believes him because in reality, she loves him, they have built a life together, have children together and she doesn't want to lose that. But at the same time in her heart, she doubts his innocence. I felt for Julie a lot who is the person who no matter what loses everything in a way.

A marriage wears a woman's fingers harder than it does a man's."

This book was really well written and easy to fly through as well, and I loved the tense kitchen/restaurant atmosphere combined with the tension of a court case as well. The narrative around a 'perfect victim' isn't something new but I still enjoyed Sarah Gilmartin's take on it and I loved all the narratives that made up this story and captured it so well. 

Mrs March is happy with her life - taking care of house and home while her author husband George March finds success within his writing career and their young son Jonathan appears a happy little boy. But Mrs March's world is turned upside down when a local shopkeeper remarks that a character in George's new book, reminds him of Mrs March and she can't escape it. As reality and imagination blur together, Mrs March begins to suspect her husband of horrid crimes and wonders if she ever really knew him at all.

This was an interesting, quite gripping tale as we follow a woman whose grip on reality begins to unravel the further we venture into the story. We learn a lot about Mrs March, except her first name, from the type of strange child she was, her early relationship with her husband and the distant wife she has become centered on appearances. I found Mrs March as a character focus truly fascinating - how she reacts to others, and always how she focuses on herself as well and makes every little thing about her and how people must think about her.

There was an element of murder mystery in this book too, and I quite enjoyed the 'what if?' part of the book - even though Mrs March is starting to lose it a little bit, some of what she is thinking about George and Sylvia almost does sound plausible at times, and I was almost ready for a twist that it would actually be true. I found myself fascinated in a way someone can be in something tragic as we followed Mrs March on her solitary journey to discover more, and the sad, lonely, desperate figure she was (morphing more and more into Johanna in many ways I guess). 

When Abigail's long-term boyfriend Richard dumps her ahead of his company's Halloween party because she's just not "good enough" for him, leaving her stranded and heartbroken in a bunny costume, she's determined to get revenge. Cue glitter in his car vents, changing his coffee order to full-fat and best of all, start dating his boss so she can go to the Christmas party on his arm and make her ex jealous. But as Abbie gets to know Damien, 14 years her senior, she soon realises he is kinder, better and more her match than anything she could have hoped for.

Well give me a Christmassy Legally Blonde retelling her and I'm there faster than you can bend and snap!

This was fun, flirty and sexy as hell as Abbie and Damien's chemistry just sizzled off the page. They are two very hot people being even hotter together, basically. There is an element in this book examining Abbie's relationship with Richard and all the ways he was emotionally abusive and manipulative towards her, and the type of coercive control you can fall victim to without realising it. And with Damien's help, and all the examples of a true, healthier relationship, she starts to heal and find herself again, and stops being afraid of showing and acting exactly who she is for the first time in a long time.

I also appreciated the friend group in her of Cami and Kat who are there to support Abbie in her plans of revenge, but also just be there for her in her heartbreak. But also that Abbie and Kat weren't afraid of confronting Cami when it was clear she was going too far and some unresolved issues related to her past, and needed help.

As I've said, I loved Damien and Abigail and they were a very hot couple. They fit so well from the very beginning though it did feel at times in terms of being vulnerable and open, it was more her than him and at times he was almost too perfect. While the sex scenes were really hot, I wasn't a big fan of some of language used for dirty talk but that's just a personal thing for me.