This is a really difficult book to review, on one hand I loved it, on the other, not so much.

Lilly's home life is horrific, it used to be wonderful with loving parents, but something happened to change all of that, and now living with just her alcoholic father, he has taken to abusing her, mentally and physically.

He hits her and calls her names like Fat, Ugly, Stupid, and he beats her often, and after being called these names for so long, she has become used to them and believes them.

Lilly manages to escape her fathers abusive ways. but then seems to fall from one abusive relationship to another.

I liked the way that the abuse was portrayed as not *just* being physical but mental as well, sometimes you can't see the bruises, but they do the same, if not more damage, and that stays with you forever.

What I didn't like so much was the way that Lilly ended up just falling into everything, and then being the best at it, best grades at school, all of the Universities were begging for her, she tried her hand at proof reading, and then suddenly every book she'd ever touched made it to the NYC Best Sellers list and Publishing Houses were fighting to get her.

I just think things are not always tied up with a nice little bow, I understand that the author wanted to see Lilly finally happy and at peace, but maybe it was a little bit to sugary sweet for me.

However, don't just take my opinion into consideration, many people absolutely loved this book, so it maybe just me, maybe I've been reading too many thrillers recently and it's made me wanting a big 'twist' to the story.

Narrated by Becca Ballenger, a new narrator for me, who did a great job

I wanted to read this book because I follow Rose on Twitter and I wanted to read more about her.

She is a fiercely strong woman and gives exactly zero f*cks, and I love her for it. She is not scared to pull you up and say "No, This is wrong."

And the reason for this, the reason that she is so outspoken, and chooses to be 'that person?' Is how she has been treated her whole damn life, as not important, as a hindrance, As A Woman!

I knew about her rape by the disgusting pig that we all loving know as Harvey Wienstein from the news, but I didn't know anything else about her, I'd obviously seen her in movies, and of course on Charmed, but she seemed to just...fade away after a while, so I wondered why this was and where she went.

This book starts right from the beginning, where she was born into the cult The Children of God, in Italy, the family moved around Europe and eventually Rose managed to escape and took herself to the U.S.A, thinking that she will be discovered and become famous.

And she was, but before that she was abused, she was abused by boyfriends, she was abused by strangers, she was abused by her father, and this set her spiralling into an eating disorder, and a drug habit, the only things that she could control.

After then getting into the Hollywood rat-race, she was once again abused, well lets say it as it is, she was RAPED, and she was then made not to say anything by throwing money at her, and as she says "I was young, and $100,000 seemed like a lot of money"

Now you could say that 'she accepted the money' but she was a young girl, a fish in the shark tank, and those sharks knew how to keep her terrified enough not to say anything. But she did, she told a few close people, including her then boyfriend Marilyn Manson, but to say anything was to lose her acting career, and HW had made this clear to her.

So she didn't say anything, but she also didn't play nice anymore, and HW took it upon himself to taunt her, in the public eye he made her out to be some sort of mental case, and behind closed doors, he sent letters to directors telling them not to employ her because "she's trouble"

McGowans career took a nosedive, even after working with directors like Tarantino (who she has a few choice words about) so her only choice in her eyes was to go to TV, so that she wasn't working with directors anymore, and so she became Paige Matthews in Charmed and stayed there for 5 years, but even this had it's downfalls.

This is an incredibly moving memoir, and Rose is angry, really bloody angry, and I don't blame her one bit.
She is the one person that got the ball rolling on the HW take-down, and her life was made hell for it, even down to HW hiring ACTUAL RUSSIAN SPIES to follow, befriend and steal parts of her book while she was writing it.

And still she said NO!!

Of course HW denies all of this and said it never happened, but Rose has something to say about that

"Don’t gaslight me, motherfucker. My vagina remembers.”

Narrated by Rose, this book is VERY frank, it has explicit descriptions of her rape and sexual abuse, it does not shy away from this, it isn't just a word.

Be Better, Be Brave!

I am writing this book because I want to have a real conversation with the public and most especially you. I am honored that my words will enter your consciousness and conscience, that my thoughts will rest in your mind. I take that responsibility seriously.
Call what I’m doing a public service and you’d be correct. It is.
Hollywood is a dirty town up to some dirty tricks.
This is not a tell-all.
This is a tell-it-how-it-is

Such a good read if you are of the 'Social Media' clan

I found myself relating to Jenny quite a few times after she becomes obsessed with 'likes' on her Instagram, I think that it is a very slippery slope to start to go down, and could very easily take over your life, as it did Jenny.

I enjoyed this story and found it very funny, and found myself to have quite a hatred toward a certain 'Arty' character, he was very manipulative, and Jenny fell for his charms every time, even her mother did!