An incredible memoir of reckoning and of CPTSD (complex post-traumatic stress disorder, and high I also have). Mae is unflinchingly honest with her complicated feelings toward her parents and her siblings.

“He took my special away.”
—one of his many, many victims

I know what that feels like, I was near her age, 19, when I was violently sexually assaulted by my ex-boyfriend. Sister, I am 49 now, and I have it back, I promise. ♥️

This book is a must-read. Period. Nicole’s reporting is incredibly professional and in-depth, and her reading is top-notch.

2 1/2 stars. Not enough detail. Too many mentions of Kelly Link throughout the book (“Kelly Link refers to this book as…” “Did you know Kelly Link was nominated for…?” Are the authors friends with her?)

And the offensive slights: One paragraph—and only one suggested book—for Joyce Carol Oates, who has written many, many horror and weird novels, and only *two sentences* dedicated to Lois Duncan, who wrote a long, *long* list of terrifying novels (I didn’t sleep after reading Daughters of Eve or Down a Dark Hall) and introduced generations of kids and teenagers to the horror genre.
They tossed her in at the end of the paperback horror chapter after riffing on all the lurid Zebra books, and talking about who Ruby Jean Jensen might have been for pages, as an afterthought: yeah, you know, that Sarah Michelle Gellar movie, that was her book. She, and her decades of work that terrified millions of kids and brought them into reading horror, deserved much better than an afterthought.

And finally: the authors pull back from whether or not Amelia Edwards was gay, stating that she preferred to travel with female companions. I researched Amelia for an episode of my podcast about her, and Ellen Braysher was her partner and family.

This book is a little too cheeky for my liking; I read about the paranormal to learn. It also tried too hard to debunk. In some cases, rather than just reporting. But it was still an enjoyable read, and not too dark, so it would be a good starter book for kids interested in high strangeness and weird history.

This is a wild ride of a true crime memoir, recommended if you are looking for something completely different. It is frustrating, in more than one way. Susan befriended her stalker and felt sorry for him--she is refreshingly forthcoming with her faults, and with the problems in her family and her background that led to her choices--but it's hard to read. When someone repeatedly violates your boundaries and endangers you, do not feel sorry for them and stop all contact. I have been stalked, I speak from experience.

The other frustration for me was the uneven writing. Susan penned phrases that were just gorgeous, and then she would use the word "awkward" three times in two sentences. She works in the publishing field, and had a co-author, so such a roller coaster in the prose was surprising.

I guessed what had happened to her, who the perpetrator(s) were, and I was well chuffed with myself. My psychology and counseling degrees aren't going to waste. :) What I noticed was

Spoiler

the prose was the same for several of the individuals, notably the frequent and inappropriate "lol"s peppered throughout the emails and letters. It's rare for different people to have the same writing style, especially to have such an odd tic. Linguistic forensics is a fascinating field. Also, her friend seemed to enjoy what was happening, and told everyone, including people Susan didn't know, every detail. Things like stalking and threats of bodily harm tend to be a private matter.

I'm glad I read this book, yet I felt uncomfortable and strange after reading it. I don't know if this was a result of the things I've mentioned in my review, or my own history, and my own CPTSD.

I highly recommend the audiobook narrated by Gunnar himself.

If you want to further understand the Sylvia Likens case—how kids can be in the middle of someone’s abuse and torture and not tell an outsider, and even participate—this is the book to read.