simonlorden's Reviews (1.38k)

I received a copy through NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

4.5

tw for miscarriage in the book

This was the first nonfiction book I read on polyamory and I felt like it touched on all the important issues that I could think of. It was a mix of personal anecdotes and statistics/legality, it addressed racism and privilege in polya communities as well as the overlap with kinky communities, and featured plenty of queer people. Bonus points for referencing Professor Marston and the Wonder Women, which was a beautiful movie and I cried. It also features many, many types of polyamorous relationships, talks about jealousy, stresses the importance of consent, and says that polyamory is not for everyone and not somehow more "enlightened" than monogamy.

Overall I think this could be a good introduction for someone who is interested in polyamory, although it focuses mostly on Canada, so that sometimes got a little boring when only Canadian poly groups are mentioned at length.

edit on 2019.02.07.
I vaguely remembered the awful coming out scene in this book, so I looked it up again, and hey - I actually read and wrote a review for this when I still thought I was cis! Imagine that. It feels like forever ago.

I actually don't know for sure if this author is cis, but if anyone asked me for an example for a book that is heavy with the cis gaze, I'd pick this one.

In any case, I'm going to be re-reading at least parts of this book eventually for my MA thesis, so I might write a new review and give a proper rating when that happens.

--
(original review in November 2017)
I enjoyed parts of this book, mainly the parts about life in Spain and life on millitary bases.

That being said, the rest of the book was heavily about /being/ transgender instead of "just" having a trans character, and as a cis person that is definitely not my place to evaluate. Shannon's friends and family were all supportive, which is good, but I definitely felt like they were sometimes celebrated for their acceptance which should be basic human decency - and I'm sure there could be other problems with the representation that I didn't pick up on (not to mention Trevor's horrible first reaction, which... okay, he got better later, but that was awful and he still had some moments later on in the book).

This is a sweet M/M love story in two generations. Callum finds out with the help of a handsome man that his grandfather was also in love with a man.

3.5

This is a sweet M/F time travel romance, although I can't speak for the accuracy of Scotland in the 1200s. The love interest has some sexist behaviour, but surprisingly little given that he's 800 years in the past.

Richard Van Camp: Aliens – 4/5

Cherie Dimaline: Legends Are Made, Not Born – 4/5

David A. Robertson: Perfectly You – 3/5

* Daniel Heath Justice: The Boys Who Became Hummingbirds – 5/5

* Darcie Little Badger: Né łe! – 5/5

* Gwen Benaway: Transitions – 5/5

* Mari Kurisato: Imposter Syndrome – 4.5/5

* Nathan Adler: Valediction at the Star View Motel – 5/5

Cleo Keahna: Parallax – 3/5

I just re-read this in Hungarian and it was an Experience. many of the sentences sounded super awkward, and I'm not sure if it's because I'm not used to reading in Hungarian anymore (which would be kinda depressing since it's my native language) or because of the quality of the translation.

given the fact that I definitely found a translation mistake less than 3 pages in (and a couple more later on), it might be the second one.

the book itself is still amazing and now I'm re-reading the whole series. only I don't own a copy of artificial condition, unless I somehow still have the ARC on my tablet...

I guess it's my fault for going into this when I knew it was going to have cheating, but I just couldn't get into the relationship at all when I knew they were both lying to their partners (although one of them for less time than the other). And then it turns out the husband was cheating too? Just... are these people okay?

Still, extra points for the gay mother and gay daughter bonding.

This started out great (second chance holiday romance with a single father, a kitten, and cuddling), but the whole religious guilt plotline was too much for me, and in the end some of the emotional scenes seemed rushed.

Also, this isn't the novella's fault, but I really wish romance stories didn't automatically come with sex scenes, or at least there was an indication about it in the blurb or something. I keep accidentally picking up stories that have sex and then I feel like I shouldn't be upset because what was I expecting, really.

This doesn't apply to the books I already own, but for new reads I think I'll make an effort to pick up books only if 1) I know for sure that there are no sex scenes, 2) I know for sure that there ARE sex scenes, so I can decide when to read it and it's not a surprise.

Why I picked it up: I was expecting a cute fairy tale, but mostly I was really excited for a book about demisexuality. Asexuality (as in the umbrella term) in general is very rare in fiction, and demisexuality is even rarer.

The Princess Who Didn't Eat Cake is a fairytale written to explain demisexuality, and using cake as a metaphor for sex. The fairytale, however, is only about 40% of the ebook itself. Other contents include an essay by the author that explicitly explains demisexuality, with many popular culture examples - and there is also a series of recommendations with demisexual characters towards the end.

Overall, I am conflicted about The Princess Who Didn't Eat Cake, and by that I mean both the fairytale, and the entire book itself. As a fairytale, I did not find it very enjoyable - the cake metaphor was just painfully obvious, and in some places, downright uncomfortable when you replaced cake with sex (that is, the parts the princess is continuously pressured or even forced to try cake by various friends and family members). The essay about demisexuality also seemed unnecessarily lengthy to me at places, though that might be because I am already familiar with demisexuality - I am not sure what it would have been like to read that explanation if I've never heard of demisexuality before.

That being said, I still believe that this is an incredibly important book, and a recommended read for everyone who wants to understand demisexuality. Some parts of the metaphor/book also work for explaining asexuality, but the book makes it clear that the two are not exactly the same - I especially appreciated the part the princess felt like she had trouble explaining her feelings both to her cake-loving parents and her cake-rejecting friends.

I am sorry to say that The Princess Who Didn't Eat Cake is not a particulary great fairy tale - but that wasn't really the point anyway. The book (the tale, the essay and the recommendations together) do a great job of explaining demisexuality, and the recommendations on the end are especially appreciated.

Recommend: Yes. To everyone, basically. Despite my problems with it, I strongly believe this book is worth reading and an important take on demisexuality.

My rating: ★★★★☆