shelfreflectionofficial's Reviews (844)

For some reason we haven't really taught our kids about missionaries much. They are 6, 4, and 2. I saw this book and thought it would be really good to show them how people follow their faith and God's calling in courageous ways.

They were very engaged in the book, the pictures are colorful and interesting. They had a lot of questions. Although they were sad when they read that Helen died, it was a great opportunity to talk about God's faithfulness and sharing Jesus with others even at cost to ourselves.

I'm glad they included the photograph of Helen at the end to help them can connect that this was a true story and not a nice idea.

I look forward to continuing these conversations with them by reading other books in this series!

Definitely recommend this book for families!

How you dune?
If I could describe this book in one word it would be: dry.


Okay but seriously. I’m mature and you can trust me.

So I saw the first Dune movie and since I don’t have the dedication to read the original series, I decided to try the next best thing: the graphic novels. I reviewed the first graphic novel HERE.

The next movie isn’t coming out until next year so I obviously had to read this because I’m impatient. (Even though I 100% won’t remember any of it by the time I see the movie.)


It’s interesting to read this book and then go and read the reviews of the actual novels. Having done that I’m thinking I’m missing quite a bit about the story. There’s only so much you can portray in 170 pages of pictures and dialogue bubbles.

Apparently book 2 begins 12 years after book 1? If that’s true then I’m not sure where this graphic novel fits into the timeline because Paul is still the same age.

I’m also realizing the story arc of this series spans many ‘main’ characters and Paul is not the ‘hero’ throughout the whole thing which is kind of a new thought for me having only seen one movie. Frank Herbert was not afraid to kill off characters.

I would say that for a Dune-ignorant reader such as myself, this one was a bit harder to grasp than the first one. I think the politics of it felt a bit vague. And apparently I have no idea who Hawat or Thufir are. Is that bad?

Okay, yes it’s bad. I just googled ‘Dune characters’ and Thufir Hawat is one person sooo. I meant Hawat or Gurney. Who are bad guys and who are good guys? I can’t keep the traitors straight.

I also don’t fully understand the point of the Bene Gesserit and what the prophecy means.



Reading the graphic novel is not a big commitment at all. You can easily read it in a day or two so for me, it’s not a big deal to read it and ‘see what comes next.’ I know I’m missing out on what made the novels so iconic but I’m just not sure if I want to commit to the books. Plus it seems like a lot of reviewers loved the first book but not so much the others.

Too risky.

I’m content to stick with the movies and graphic novels. So sue me.



Sidenote: I’m not going to describe the plot of this book because I’ll probably mislead you and ruin everything and that’s just not who I am.



Um. I don’t know if these three things were supposed to be serious or funny but I’ll recount them to you either way.

1.

I may not know the secrets of Arrakis, but I know a good insult when I read one:

“Do as she says you worm-faced, crawling, sand-brained piece of lizard turd!”

Too far, Fremen dude, too far!


2.

Next we have Lady Jessica doing her little magic stuff and discover she’s a “weirding woman” and everyone wants her to teach them “the weirding way.” Is it just me, or does this sound like a middle school boy’s superhero story he wrote for school.

(Or maybe it’s just a throwback to the show ‘So Weird’ which I never watched because paranormal activity was too scary for me but now I wish I had because it seems like a toned down version of Supernatural which I watched in college and kind of liked. Or wait! It could be a throwback to Step-Sister from Planet Weird. I bet she knew the weirding way. Okay my aside is too long so I’ll stop making Disney Channel references. Except now I’m realizing the novel came first so Disney was actually ripping off Dune this ENTIRE time).


3.

Last, but certainly not least, we have a particularly secretive conversation between two characters where utmost privacy is required.

Enter: the cone of silence.

And if you have watched Get Smart then you will immediately be thinking of this scene and this scene and can no longer take anything seriously.



So anyway.

I’ve provided you with a pretty comprehensive review that should definitely tell you everything you could ever want to know so you’re welcome for that.

And as is my custom for this series I've taken pictures of the inside pages. (They were chosen at random and are in no particular order so hopefully there are no spoilers. Would I even know what a spoiler was? We don’t know, we don’t have the technology.) You can view them on my original blog post HERE.

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“The world cannot define your child’s worth.”

Elizabeth and Taylor Bloomquist have written this book to share their heart-breaking yet hope-filled journey through the pregnancy and birth of their daughter, Isabelle, who was diagnosed with Trisomy-18.

The God-thing about this book is that the Bloomquists reached out to me via my website to see if I would be willing to read their book and write a review just days after my friend shared with me their own Trisomy-18 diagnosis.

Trisomy-18 is a life-limiting genetic abnormality that I had never heard of before this.

I knew I was supposed to read this book and connect my friend, her husband, and parents to the Bloomquists’ story.

Because not only are Taylor & Elizabeth transparent about their grief and honest about their thoughts and feelings, they offer hope in an impossible time. Hope we all desperately need and the only hope that will ultimately heal our hearts.


Trisomy-18 (also known as Edwards Syndrome) is a genetic condition in which the baby has an extra chromosome 18. It is very rare— fewer than 20,000 cases occur a year. Babies with this diagnosis usually have birth defects in their organs— heart and lungs— that are life-threatening. Only 5-10% of babies born with Trisomy-18 will survive beyond a year.


As the Bloomquists went through their grief journey they struggled with how to grieve with each other, especially when they needed different things. Add to that, most existing books on infant loss tend to be geared more for the mother than the father.

I love that this book is written for a couple to read together. Taylor and Elizabeth go back and forth throughout the book sharing what did or did not help.

They give examples of how husbands can love their wives during this time and how wives can love their husbands. They provide questions at the end of each chapter to help couples communicate when they’re not sure where to start.


Having gone through my own infant loss— though we miscarried our baby early in pregnancy— I wish we would have had a book like this. I think it would have helped us tremendously.

From my grief journey I remember feeling resistant to most things people tried to encourage me with. I felt like people didn’t really understand what I was going through. I was mad and bitter and questioning God’s love. I knew ‘’all the answers’ but my heart didn’t feel the goodness of them.

While I have had many years of processing and growing in my faith since then, I think I would have been open to this book at that time. The writing voices they have are so gentle and compassionate. Plus you know they understand grief.

What they say does not feel trite. It feels like they are walking with you, acknowledging the pain but pleading with us to choose trust.

Elizabeth says,

“I had to believe this pain had a purpose. My choices were to either believe and trust in the goodness of God and rest in his promises knowing he was preparing this for me for a purpose, or I could run away and be angry and bitter about this tragedy. Led by the Spirit, we chose to trust in the goodness of God.”

We may not like it, but there really are only two choices. We either choose to trust or we don’t. That doesn’t mean the pain isn’t there. It doesn’t mean we have to feel happy all the time, but choosing to trust means that we believe God won’t waste our pain and we’re willing to wait and rest on him.


“The whole Bible is full of hurt and broken people called near to God through his steadfast love and compassion for us. He can be trusted to be good, he can be trusted to be gracious, he can be trusted to be merciful, he can be trusted to be compassionate, and he can be trusted to heal your wounds and your broken heart. He knows all your pain and suffering and wants you to come and dwell under the refuge of his love and peace.” (Isa 54:10)

God has never promised us a grief-less, painless life. In fact he promised the opposite. But we have hundreds of pages of evidence in Scripture that he is faithful, loving, and can be trusted to sustain and restore.

The Gospel is central to any discussion of pain and hurt and I’m glad the Bloomquists share it so tenderly.

“[The gospel] is excellent news for those of us who grieve. Not only can we be united with the Father for eternity, but he died to redeem all of the dark things in your heart you didn’t know you could feel because of grief. He died for your anger, your bitterness, your hatred. He died for your weaknesses and disappointments. He came to redeem you from a life spent in misery and sin to a life spent joyfully knowing the goodness of God… He conquered death and the grave so you and I, and our babies, could live with him for eternity.”

That is a beautiful thought. Even though I miss the baby I never got to hold, I know, as David knew in the Psalms, that I will be with my baby again in a better place and in a better way. I don’t have to understand why it’s not now, but I can trust in the One that reigns over all and loves my baby and me more than I could ever hope to dream.



One thing that I think is really important about their story is the fact that almost 80% of all pregnancies with this diagnosis are electively terminated.

“Unbeknownst to us, not only did this statistic exist, but it would grow to be the primary focus on our seemingly two-step path: confirmation and termination with little room for anything else.”

Knowing about some of the conversations my friend has had with her doctors, it is clear that many medical professionals recommend termination or ask at every single appointment if you would like to terminate.

But as the Bloomquists reiterate:

“The world cannot define your child’s worth.”

We are in a time where we may have to fight for the life of our children when no one else will.

Obviously there are a lot of factors to consider— especially the safety of the mom— but Elizabeth and Taylor’s story shows us the beauty of life even if it’s only a few days.

They were able to hold Isabelle. Kiss her. Sing to her. Share the Gospel with her! What a precious time!

It is not an easy decision. It is not an easy journey. There is grace for it all.

And there is plenty of grace for the situation that results in a termination. Nothing can separate us from the love of God.

It resonated with me when Elizabeth said this:

“Pregnancy is sanctifying and it will always be. It is a battle fought spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and physically. It is an act of submission to our Master Creator. We are but vessels, and he is the molder, maker, and sustainer of life.”

This is so true. Being pregnant and having children is such a normal thing. But to see it as sanctifying— that is a new perspective. As moms, we know the sacrifice in so many ways. And as we struggle through each phase of our own journey we can know that God is there through it all and we are being refined and made to look more and more like Him.


Recommendation

I definitely recommend this book for anyone who has experienced or is currently going through an infant loss. I especially recommend this for couples.

It’s short. It’s tender. It’s understanding. It’s hopeful. It’s helpful.

They provide some good advice on how to put good boundaries on grief to avoid self-destruction and how to handle certain situations that may come up like: How do I talk to my other kids about this? Can I show pictures of my deceased child? How do I handle my grief at work? and more.

Additionally, there is a great list of resources in the back of other books to read (two of which were already on my TBR list), and a list of informative websites, resources, and organizations.

I am thankful they have decided to share their story and connect grieving parents to hope when their hearts have shattered. Grief can be paralyzing and we can’t go through it by ourselves. We need resources like this to help guide us. We need a local community to help support us. And we need the Holy Spirit to help us endure it.

“We do not move on, but rather move forward.”

And of course, our best weapon against the despair and darkness of loss is storing God’s Word in our hearts:

“I believe the Word of God is the best source of comfort and the best tool to use against the Enemy when doubt and fear attack and threaten to gain a foothold. Ephesians 6:17 explains the sword of the Spirit is the Word of God. This is powerful imagery. Use the Word of God as a sword to defend yourself and to attack the thoughts and temptations that come your way. It is the most effective method in slaying the darkness.”



[Sidenote: This is not an exhaustive book on processing grief and understanding God through our pain. I’ve read several on this topic that I would also recommend in addition to this one. You can find them at my website.]

**Received a copy of this book from the author in exchange for an honest review**

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“Someone will be teaching your kids about their souls and their bodies. Make sure it’s you.”

We parents have the hard job of raising kids. We feel the pressure to do it right and not ruin our kids. Of course, as Christians, we must put our faith in God who loves our kids more than we do and trust Him with them. We can only do so much as parents and what we do is no guarantee that they will ‘turn out right.’

But nonetheless we make every effort to care for them and teach them truth. Resources like this book are a huge help as a parent to know how to communicate to our kids about their identity.


‘Identity’ is the headline of the era. Kids have always had to figure out who they are, but in recent years there are new challenges and pressures, especially revolving around sexuality and gender, with how one goes about defining themself.


Raising Confident Kids is not exhaustive, but it’s a short, easy to read book that begins with Gospel truth and our identity in Christ— our sinfulness, forgiveness, and grace. It then has chapters on friendship, sex, marriage, and gender.

It’s not necessarily a book you read WITH your kids but will prepare you to know how to talk to your kids about some of these things.

Ed Drew’s writing style is conversational and humorous even as he talks about serious things. His personal stories that he incorporates in the book are very relatable and help illustrate what this looks like in real life.

The discussion questions at the end of every chapter are also helpful in reflecting on our own hearts and knowing what we can be praying for.


This Is Me

I thought it was really interesting how he begins with bringing up the song from The Greatest Showman— This is Me— which was immediately very popular. The message of the song is appealing. We shouldn’t have to be sorry for who we are. We own ourselves with all our flaws— other people can’t define us. There are aspects of that they are good, but it’s also a dangerous train of thought.

Drew explains:

“Our children are being asked to start from a blank sheet of paper. Who are you? Who do you want to be? What is your gender? What is your sexuality? Where is your value?… Create your own path. Follow your heart. Be the person you want to be. Stand up and declare, without apology, ‘This is me.’”

Culture tells us this is where we find freedom. But that’s not actually true. To be in charge of shaping our identity is a burden. Especially when we put that burden on children.

In actuality, there is freedom in being defined by God as his child, created in his image.

“I want them to meet with triumph and despair and treat both those experiences with the confidence that comes from knowing in their hearts that who they are, and who they will always be, is greatly loved children of a Heavenly Father. Because if that is their identity, then they will navigate a confusing world, and walk towards an eternal home, with confidence.”


What Else Is In There

Drew guides us through recognizing that the most important thing we can do for our children as parents isn’t to modify their behavior to ‘be good’ though obeying is important, but to point them to Jesus. An identity found in Christ flows into the rest of their life with authenticity and endurance.

“…wonder with me at what government policy could be rolled out that would do more to improve the lives of children than godly parents showing their child the Lord as their Creator, telling them of their inalienable worth as his precious image-bearers, and seeking to encourage them to live a godly life while under their parental responsibility.”


He points out that the cultural gospel tells our kids that not following their heart is their biggest problem but the Bible is contrary: our hearts are the problem. Our desires are sinful. So we need something to trust and follow that is bigger than our ever-changing feelings and desires.

“How do we show grace without throwing out all discipline, all authority and all wisdom? As parents we do need to set boundaries, hold our children responsible for their actions, and discipline them fairly and calmly, as our Heavenly Father disciplines us. There should be warnings and consequences in our homes for our children’s bad behavior. As God has been clear with us in the Bible on the behaviors he expects of us, so we need to be clear and consistent with our children…we need to be acting out of love… waiting for and aiming for the hug, for the homecoming… grace needs to be in the air of home.”


Drew reminds us that sin issues are heart issues not behavior issues.

He encourages us to allow our kids to see how we handle suffering and times where we don’t feel okay. As they navigate feelings of discomfort— whether with relationships or their own bodies— they’ll imitate what we do when crisis hits.

“Your suffering is always an opportunity to show your children what you know is true of God.”


He discusses how to talk about our bodies with our children. How we feel about our bodies and treat our bodies will also inform how we treat other people’s bodies. Our children need to know that they are fearfully and wonderfully made, even when our feelings don’t align with the truth.

“It’s important to have conversations about your kids’ bodies, and to be careful how you speak about your own body, and to consider what messages you send. Because of the fall, no body is perfect. We honor God’s handiwork when we enjoy ours, look after it and use it as he intends, avoiding comparison with others.”


He talks about what the Bible says regarding gender and marriage. He also addresses gender stereotypes and how our parenting should not be aligned with stereotypes but with the command that we are to both care and serve for others and to use our strengths and advantages to protect the vulnerable.

“Our role as parents, particularly with younger children, is to provide the certainty that their body is a good gift that cannot be changed, and that (within the limits of physics) they can use their bodies for whatever adventures they can imagine. They should not think that their gender should limit their hobbies, friendships, sports, or aspirations for the future.”


Recommendation

I think this is a very helpful book for anyone raising or influencing kids. Identity is too big of a thing to ignore or hope that it just works out alright. We need to be actively teaching our kids how to view themselves in light of Christ and his Scripture.

This book will help with that.

What I also love about this book is that they direct you to a website with a ton of free resources for parents or ministry leaders to use. There are also podcasts both for parents and kids. If you don’t want to read the book, I would assume a lot of the material here overlaps into their other stuff.

So yes, I would recommend this book. I would also recommend several other books along these lines. I have a list included on my ORIGINAL BLOG POST.



**Received a copy from The Good Book Company in exchange for an honest review**

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