shelfreflectionofficial's Reviews (844)

“Whether you think that hope of everlasting life is pure naivety or you’re wondering if there might just be a God who has a plan for your life, this book is for you.”


Is Easter unbelievable?

Yes, and I believe it.

It’s unbelievable because it was a miracle and beyond our imagination. I believe it, not only because I trust God and his Word, but because there is historical evidence to support it.

This is a very short (60 pages) and practical book to give a brief overview of why we can believe such an unbelievable thing as a resurrection.


It is the sequel to McLaughlin’s book ‘Is Christmas Unbelievable?’ in which she looks at the miracle of the virgin birth and the person of Jesus.

There is a little overlap in this book as she also addresses the person of Jesus (obviously).

Here are the four questions she poses:

1. Is Jesus’s life historical?

2. Is Jesus’s death ethical?

3. Is Jesus’s resurrection credible?

4. Is Jesus’s offer desirable?


To the first point she talks about extra-biblical sources that talk of Jesus and his crucifixion and the historical reliability of the Gospel accounts, addressing (and debunking) the theory of The Da Vinci Code which claims the Bible was censored to present a certain political agenda.

To the second point she addresses people’s questioning how a good God could punish people for their sin or how the death of an innocent man could be a good thing. She helps us look at the world and reflect on what sin is and our role in it. She also reminds us that Jesus willingly and lovingly chose to go to the cross. It was not an involuntary slaughter. It was a personal sacrifice of love. For us.

(FYI- there is a spoiler in there for the movie No Time to Die if that matters to you…)

To the third point she presents four ‘exhibits’ that give the resurrection credibility:

- The Outbreak (the spread of Christianity, the diversity of Christianity)
"How a man born into a subjugated ethnic group in an obscure Roman province— who lived poor, died young, who never wrote a book, raised an army, or sat on a throne— has come to be the most impactful human in all human history does require some kind of explanation.”

- The Message (the fundamental need of the resurrection for the basis of Christianity, the disciples willingness to die for their beliefs countering the theory that they made it up)

- The Romans (the efficiency and thoroughness of the Romans in their killing methods countering the theory that Jesus didn’t actually die on the cross)
"Jesus’ crucifixion was by far the most high-profile that day. The idea that the soldiers botched the job and what the disciples witnessed was a resuscitation and not a resurrection is at best implausible.”

- The Women (the fact that all four Gospels list women as the first witnesses of the resurrection which was culturally and historically considered unreliable)


To the fourth point she talks about the person of Jesus, his love for us, his promises to us, and the real meaning of heaven.

“If heaven is primarily a place to which we might be sent— like some fabulous vacation destination in the sky— the claim that only those who trust in Jesus ‘go to heaven’ seems unfair. But Jesus says he is the destination. Those who turn to Jesus now will find themselves with Jesus for eternity. Those who don’t want Jesus now won’t get him for eternity.”


There is just one pretty big thing I thought was missing from point three: The Body. McLaughlin didn’t talk at all about how no one was able to produce the body of Jesus when it would have been very important to for those who wanted to put down the spread of a miracle. I think this is a very compelling argument to include.

If the disciples hid the body, would they have given their lives for that lie? And if it was someone else, it would have probably been more beneficial to produce the body to the searching public than keep it a secret.


Easter is in a few days as I write this. Easter has largely been hijacked by rabbits and eggs. It may also be one of the few times people actually attend church. Which is great— but if we haven’t surrendered our whole lives to the One who surrendered his for us, it’s all meaningless.

Church isn’t what saves us. Christ is.

Eggs being associated with Easter originally started because an egg is a sign of new life. Out of that egg comes a new animal, a new life. Similarly, belief in Christ, his miraculous birth, his perfect life, his sacrificial death, and his miraculous resurrection gives US new life. We are reborn into the family of God, resting in the power, love, and faithfulness of our Creator.

“If Jesus did come back to life, it means the Maker of all time and space has stepped into the universe for love of you. It means that you were worth his death and that he wants you in his life. It means you are more seen and known and loved than you could dare to hope and that the greatest offer ever made is sitting on the table, waiting for you to take it up.”

Happy Easter everyone!



Other books by Rebecca McLaughlin:

Confronting Christianity: 12 Hard Questions for the World’s Largest Religion

Confronting Jesus: 9 Encounters with the Hero of the Gospels

Is Christmas Unbelievable?: Four Questions Everyone Should Ask about the World’s Most Famous Story

Jesus Through the Eyes of Women: How the First Female Disciples Help Us Know and Love the Lord

The Secular Creed: Engaging Five Contemporary Claims


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“Winston Churchill famously said, ‘In wartime, truth is so precious that she should always be attended by a bodyguard of lies.’”


Steven James has finally written another book!

He’s one of my favorite authors because he is adept at writing suspenseful plot lines with twists while also incorporating some bigger ‘life questions’ in a natural way. [In this book there is a thread of justice vs vengeance and what true justice looks like]

Also this book has no swearing or sexual content! And if you think a book needs that to be engaging and awesome, you haven’t read Steven James.

Broker of Lies is a story of arson, government secrets, nuclear threats, and two unlikely characters brought together to figure out where an attack will occur, who’s behind it, and how they can stop it. Not to mention they’re being hunted by two groups of people who either want their secrets or want to kill them.

There’s a bit of complexity in the book to keep straight if you only read small chunks at a time. Hopefully my cast of characters and plot summary can be something that helps you remember who is who.


Cast of Characters

Travis Brock- main character with an eidetic memory who works at the Pentagon as a redactor dealing with government secrets and what they can release to the public;
"If there was a DOD program that needed to be protected or kept secret, odds were I’d read about it— and, consequently, remembered it.”
is also seeking to avenge his wife’s death by finding the killer and enacting justice
“some might call it vengeance; I called it a necessity. And I was ready to see things through to the end, whatever that might require of me.”

Sienna Brock- wife of Travis who is killed in a house fire at the beginning of the book; worked as a linguist for the intelligence community

Detective Caruso- investigating both the arson from Travis’s house and a missing State Department employee named Lena Rhodes

Ilya and Sergei- Russian mafia; going after Travis

Adira-(aka Flower Girl) member of the secret organization called the Red Team housed under Homeland Security/TSA to test security measures in the country

Nathan Lassiter- TSA Deputy Director, and Adira’s handler, who gave up a security access code in order to be able to pay for his father’s medical needs but later regretted it and attempted to make it right, trying to get Travis and Adira together to pursue evidence he found on who paid him for the code

Senator Cliff Richardson- senator who sold his Silicon Valley business (to Janice Daniels) to become a politician to enact change in the country, dedicating his career to bring awareness to the weaknesses in the US nuclear energy program
“Sometimes pursuing a higher ideal required sacrifice. And sometimes that required working with someone like Joshua. A man capable of the unthinkable.”

Joshua- hired by Senator Richardson to help move his goals forward using whatever means necessary
“The man was a ghost. Or a monster, depending on how you looked at things.”

Janice Daniels- billionaire philanthropist
“She was a bit of an enigma: Too much of a venture capitalist to please the Left; too much of a democratic socialist to please the Right.”

Gunnar Bane- former Army Ranger now a civilian security contractor; attempting to write a romance novel and is doing an exceptionally terrible job

Dr. Chia-hao Yong- won the Nobel Prize in physics for his work with uranium; is presenting his research on nuclear security at the Summit; is being blackmailed to secretly provide secure network access to an unidentified person during his speech

OTHER ‘PLAYERS’:

Pruninghooks Collective- radical arm of the antinuke movement (not a real group but the Plowshares movement is)

Project Symphony- a top secret research program that DARPA was involved in regarding air gap hacking (hacking computers that aren’t online)

Paraden Defense Systems- designed detonators and explosive devices for the Army; provided some key components for developing a prototype of a device being used in Project Symphony

Patmos Financial Consortium- an equity firm invested in more than fifty tracts of land all over the country


Brief Plot Summary

The book begins with a fire at Travis’s house. He sustains major burns. His wife dies in the fire, he couldn’t go back for her. He finds out it was not an accident. It was arson.

Then we jump 17 months later.

Travis, who works as a redactor at the Pentagon processing requests to release information about the DOD’s most confidential secrets, gets a suspicious request. (These requests are in accordance with the Freedom of Information Act.)

What catches his attention is that it’s backdated with the date of his house fire. With further inspection he discovers an acrostic hidden within the message.

He has been on his own mission to track down the arsonist responsible for his wife’s death. He is sure this must have something to do with it.

The request is the catalyst that sends Travis on a dangerous mission to find out who was behind the request and what message it’s trying to send.

Due to both of them becoming hunted targets, Travis and another government employee, Adira, team up, and put their knowledge, skills, and resources together to get to the bottom of this. And who can they really trust?

“If we can figure out the why behind the when, we might just be able to figure out the who behind the why.”

They are eventually led to an International Nuclear Association Safety Summit held in Oak Ridge, TN— one of the sites of the Manhattan Project which was responsible for building the nuclear bomb.

Somehow the four P’s— Pruninghooks Collective, Paraden, Patmos, and Project Symphony (see my Cast of Characters) are all connected in this web of secrets and potential nuclear threat puts the pressure on Travis and Adira to stop any sort of attack before masses of people are killed or global nuclear unrest begins.

Oh… and WHO is the broker of lies…..???


Justice, Vengeance, and Secrets

Travis Brock is struggling to figure out the difference between justice and vengeance and who should carry out justice—the individual or the society? What if the society fails to carry it out? When does the individual act separately from the society? What does true justice look like? What is God’s role in that? Does justice really lead to peace?

This was interesting to ponder. Add to that the varying thoughts on the corruptness or effectiveness of the American justice system. Do we trust the system or do we individually ‘correct’ the system when it fails?

I like what he says here:

“Injustice always begins with rationalizing a wrong. Justice begins with righting one.”

Another thread in the book which appears in so many different scenarios: the greater good.

What are we willing to do ‘for the greater good’? How does morality play into decisions made with this goal in mind.

James includes these two sobering observations:

“The greater good. That was the rationalization of all dictators, of all despots, of all tyrants and those who precipitated the greatest atrocities in human history… Over and over again it was the oppressor’s justification that echoes endlessly through the raw, bloody, chambers of hell: The greater good.”

“You can never really know someone else, but if you know yourself, then you know enough about human nature to realize what people are capable of, to recognize that no one can be fully trusted to do what’s right.”

I thought it was interesting how James points out that the job Brock does cannot be done by AI. With more and more things being taken over by AI I’m glad we’re wary of handing over control of government secrets to it. AI doesn’t have the judgment and discernment like humans to determine which secrets are safe to reveal to the public and which ones are not. (For more exploration on AI read James’ book Synapse)

The Freedom Information Act (1967) was put in place to allow citizens to request information from any federal agency. This is a version of accountability with the government. However, as stated in this book there are many exceptions and exemptions that may mean information can still not be disclosed.

I like that our government has some accountability to its citizens but I also am on the side of- hey, let’s not give away all the secrets that protect our country or the people who defend it.


“In truth secrets don’t diminish our freedoms; they protect them for our children. Those who demanded more ‘transparency’ often forgot that they wouldn’t want their own lives to be transparent. And it as even more vital that the government kept its secrets to protect the lives of its citizens than it was that those citizens kept their secrets simply to protect their reputations.”


Cool References & Things I Learned

If you follow my reviews, you know that I love to learn things while I read. There was a lot of interesting information in this book and I’m curious how much of it is legitimate.

It seems a little disconcerting how much detail is given on how to sneak weapons past airport security, or how to create a bomb, or how to access a variety of tools or information that seems dangerous to our country.

I’m sure James was careful not to give readers a handbook on DIY terrorist attacks, but still! Reading books like this sometimes makes me wonder how much danger we’re actually in from day to day that we have no idea about.


Here are a few tidbits (I’m not putting bomb building in my review, I’m pretty sure I’ve already written enough buzzwords in here):

“By disguising themselves, most people forget to change their shoes. It’s one of the most common mistakes in spy-craft.”

“One of the best ways to get close to security guards, or at least to take them unaware, was to approach while shaking your head. Rather than raise suspicion, doing so changed the entire social dynamic of the encounter”

“stuck a small piece of gravel in her left shoe. It would alter her gait so that in case, somewhere along the line, the authorities had analyzed her stride and were using gait-recognition software, it wouldn’t peg her.”

If you want to convince someone to become your asset, here are the top five ways to do that using an apt acronym:
C- compromise R- revenge I- ideology M-money E- ego

Also apparently:

“In an airport x-ray machine, books, because of their size and density, looked surprisingly like plastic explosives.”

I’m always bringing books in my carry-on— good thing I don’t look suspicious!


The Pentagon is the largest office building in the world, employing nearly 26,000 people. It is possible to walk from any two points within the Pentagon in ten minutes.


The Y-12 complex was built in Oak Ridge, TN as part of the Manhattan Project. (If the Manhattan Project interests you, read An Affair of Spies) It is the birthplace of the atomic bomb and where nuclear medicine was first developed. It houses the nation’s supply of enriched uranium and is one of the most tightly guarded military complexes in the world.

It contains more than 1000 buildings on its 811-acre campus, but during WWII had more than twice that many. During WWII the population of the complex was 75,000 making it the fifth largest city in Tennessee, albeit one that wasn’t on a map!

It is true, as stated in the book, that a Catholic sister and two other activists (military veterans) entered the complex and got through several layers of security and were not realized until several hours later. So the concept of this book in regards to nuclear security is a viable and relevant topic!

A calutron is a mass spectrometer used for separating isotopes in uranium and was designed by Ernest Lawrence. It was first developed for the Manhattan Project based on his earlier invention called the cyclotron. The name calutron is a combination of University of California (Cal-U) where Lawrence invented it and cyclotron.

The Calutron building (aka K-25) was the largest building in the world at the time it was built. It was demolished in 2006.


Agathokakological: composed of both good and evil
Brobdingnagian: gigantic
WMDDs- weapons of mass destruction and disruption


The Sunsphere which was an important location in the book is in downtown Knoxville and was built for the 1982 World’s Fair. The book cover image cleverly uses redacting lines to create the city skyline and shows the Sunsphere.


As mentioned in the book, a nuclear bomb was really dropped onto Goldsboro, North Carolina— accidentally, of course, when a B-52 broke up in the air over the state. 3 of the 4 mechanisms to detonate the bomb had been triggered. Only one kept it from becoming a huge disaster. Ironically, there is a historical marker for this incident in Eureka, NC (‘eureka’ means ‘to find’) just a few miles away from the scene. Information about this event was released in 2013 due to a Freedom of Information Act request.

So I just learned about ghost guns in the book Her Deadly Game by Robert Dugoni. And now it is referenced in Broker of Lies. It’s not called a ghost gun here, but it is one because it was created using a 3-D printer. In an airport! Seriously, how do these things even work?!


James also references the false missile alert that happened in Hawaii five years ago. I’m including it here because if you were ever wondering what happened to the guy responsible for sending out the ‘BALLISTIC MISSILE THREAT INBOUND TO HAWAII’ text to all of Hawaii… Bob Goff found him and gave him a job and he tells us about it in his book Undistracted. And I’m wondering what you think his book is about now haha.

Uranium is the heaviest element. For reference: a gallon of milk weighs about 8 lbs. A gallon of uranium would weigh 150. Which was the weight of the uranium canisters in the book. Crazy.

USB drives aren’t allowed on military bases or in secure federal facilities. But the real question is: are floppy disks allowed??


Comments & Quotes

I know Steven James is a good writer so I know when he ‘wrote’ the parts for Gunnar Bane’s romance novel he was purposefully writing it cringey. But Gunnar makes a good point here: “Jaws for guys and cheekbones for ladies. The secret to great character descriptions.” Those are always the descriptors when writing attractive people right? Also broad shoulders and full lips. It gets a bit old. Let’s find something more creative.

I did not appreciate the inclusion of the example of psychological suggestion: yawning. Talking about it or watching someone else do it causes you to do it. I am even more suggestible to this. Just reading the word yawn or thinking it in my head makes me yawned. And I’ve already yawned several times writing this. Ugh. At least I know I’m not a psychopath.


There was some back and forth in timelines and perspectives so it’s best to read in larger chunks at a time.


“Never wield openness as a weapon disguised as honesty.”

“The question isn’t so much why life isn’t fair, but what we’re going to do about it in the meantime, while we search for answers.”

“Yes, temporary happiness might come from acquisition and consumption, but true joy only came from simplicity and sacrifice.”


Sidenote: Steven James has a weekly podcast called The Story Blender where he interviews lots of authors. If you are interested in that or are a writer looking for some good insights, check it out!


Recommendation

I definitely recommend this book! He’s got great story concepts and writes them so well.

You’ll read it fast, you’ll learn a lot, and you’ll enjoy it!

The only reason I would not recommend this book is if it would be too complex for some to follow or to want to follow. If you’re looking for a beach read, this probably isn’t it.

It looks like this may be the beginning of a new series. In the author’s note Steven James says, “I look forward to seeing what mischief they get into in their next adventure.”

So I’m excited for more books because this one ends on a twist and I’m wondering where it’s going.



[Content Advisory: no swearing; no sexual content; implied torture, not long or descriptive]

**Received an ARC via NetGalley**

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“She dreamed of unleashing her mind, of freeing her hands to create without hesitation— but the roar of Alizeh’s imagination was quieted, always, by an unfortunate need for self-preservation.”

“Fire was her soul, but water was her life; it was all she needed to survive.”


This book has been on my shelf for a year now and I finally got around to reading it. I’m glad I did! I really enjoyed this book and am looking forward to the next one.

I feel like fantasy books are always better when they’re part of a series!

‘This Woven Kingdom’ is a version of Cinderella: orphaned girl heir to a throne, forced to serve, treated poorly, falls in love with a prince, attends a ball in a magical gown where said prince is looking for a bride, must leave by midnight, etc. with a bonus magic carpet ride and a touch of Rumpelstiltskin where magic comes at a price.

The difference is that Alizeh (our Cinderella character) is a bit more complicated and the overlying plot more dark.

It is supposedly also interposed with Persian lore. However, I didn’t really feel immersed in Persian culture as I read it— perhaps that’s my lack of knowledge, but this part of it seemed underwhelming.


Plot Summary

Alizeh is a Jinn which means she was “forged from the essence of fire.” The alternative was to be a human “established in dirt and water” which was to be Clay. Jinn is part of Persian lore and through which we are introduced to the character Iblees (Iblis)— the devil— who is also a Jinn.

But Alizeh is more than just a Jinn. She is a Jinn with ice in her veins, destined to rule her people.

“Alizeh had been brought up to lead, to unify, to free her people from the half-lives they’d been forced to live.”

The devil has been haunting Alizeh to this end.

“Alizeh’s parents had tried, desperately, to banish such a beast from their home, but he had returned again and again, forever embroidering the tapestry of her life with ominous forebodings, in what seems a promise of destruction she could not outmaneuver.”

So how is she now a servant in the lowest class of citizens? Because her parents were killed and her life is in danger. It was prophesied that a “a creature with ice in its veins would be the demise of Zaal,” King Zaal is thus determined to get rid of her.


Even though the kingdom is supposedly ruled with equality at the forefront, an attempt to finally cease the warring between Jinn and Clay, the Jinn had to give up more. It is illegal for them to use their special abilities (like speed, strength, invisibility) unless they were in war. It is not always beneficial to be known as a Jinn.


Things start to unravel for Alizeh when she is discovered by the Prince Kamran. At first suspicious that she is a spy, he draws attention and investigation into who she is. Shortly after they obviously have a love at first sight moment and Kamran regrets his actions that have led to her running for her life.

He is now stuck between his loyalty to his soon-to-be-his-kingdom slash his mentor-grandfather (Zaal) and his obsession with Alizeh and wanting to keep her safe.

“To kill her now, innocent as she was, seemed to him as senseless as shooting arrows at the moon. That kind of light was not so easily extinguished, and what was there to celebrate in a success that would only leave the earth dimmer as a result?”

Can Alizeh escape the wrath of King Zaal? If she can, where can she go? How will the prophecy come to be? And how does the devil’s schemes play into all of it?

“‘One day,’ her father had said, ‘This world will bow to you.’”


Plus some other plot threads:
- two warring kingdoms: Ardunia and Tulan
- Ardunia (Zaal’s kingdom) running out of water
- possible love triangle?
- fireflies being “comrades in arms”
- the mining of magic as a mineral


Comments

I really liked the Alizeh character, however I still feel like she’s a bit of an enigma. She is intelligent and strong-willed, but shows both timidity and confidence. You’re not quite sure what she’s capable of.

I’m not a fan of Kamran who is ruled by his anger: “Anger had kept him alive more than his heart ever could.” I’m assuming that’s foreshadowing of something changing in him by the end of the series.

But because of his moodiness and anger, it was hard to see what was between him and Alizeh as a romantic love. It felt more like an obsession or lust for him, something he wants to selfishly satiate. For Alizeh, it feels like naivete because of how she has been treated by other people— she will be pulled into something that feels good that she has never felt before.

But personally, I’m not sure if I trust Kamran. This book is such that I’m not entirely sure who the good guys are and who the bad guys are. Is Alizeh even good if she is of the same essence as the devil? So my prediction is that maybe Kamran will choose himself in the end. But we shall see.


There are hints of a love triangle, but nothing overt yet. Perhaps that will develop in the next book, especially considering the cliffhanger ending of this one.


What’s interesting about this book so far is that Iblees is a prominent character and is portrayed as evil. Yet in Islam (is Persian lore Islamic?), he has been thrown out of heaven and God (not sure if this should be capitalized?) is part of this story. In ‘This Woven Kingdom’ there has been no introduction of a god, or a good supernatural being. I think that’s rather curious and wonder if one will enter the story later. If not, it feels hard to reconcile a good vs evil plotline. I’ll definitely have some theological ponderings by book three if this doesn’t pan out in a satisfactory way.


As quoted above, water is necessary for Alizeh’s survival. It is a vital resource and the kingdom is running low. I was expecting this information to play a bigger role in this book in terms of her survival and the choices she is forced to make. But it seemed very much in the background.


Another aspect that seemed underplayed was the role of Kamran’s mother. What’s her deal? It was a little bit like in the Pink Panther where Clouseau is constantly trying to keep his partner, Ponton, ‘ready for anything’ by trying to surprise him at random times with throwing objects or trying to hit him, etc. It’s not quite the comedic element in this story, but since we don’t get much else of his mom except these interactions it’s hard to have a serious perspective of who she is and what her role is to be. Because her husband (Kamran’s father) died, she is no longer to be queen. Is she somehow scheming to find a way to throne or is she just a support to Kamran? We don’t know yet.


As per all YA fiction, the hero or heroine is a teenager of some kind. In this story Alizeh and Kamran are 18. Whether or not the events are realistic, I understand that the age of the characters is intentional to engage the target audience. At some points in Mafi’s Shatter Me trilogy, it seemed more dissonant. So far in this story, I haven’t rolled my eyes about it yet.


And last comment: there was overuse of the word impertinent and preternatural. But on the plus side, I now know what they mean.


Recommendation

I would recommend this book. It’s got the fantastical world-building, mysterious characters, unfulfilled prophecy, a touch of romance, and a character you can root for! Oh yeah, and there’s a dragon.

I think my overall recommendation of this series will depend how the other two books go. As I mentioned in this review, there were some aspects that felt undeveloped in this book but I know it’s a series and you can’t do everything in the first book, some of it has to just be set-up for what’s to come.

But so far, I’m on board, and I think you should be too!


[Content Advisory: no swearing or sexual content]

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This is a short and simple book to help put words to feelings. I would say this is for children who have a smaller vocabulary.

Each page is a a statement about Aiden having a certain feeling and that 'it is okay.'

Kids have big feelings and it's hard for them to identify their feelings or know what to do with them. This may be a helpful book to teach your kids what sad or mad or scared or happy is.

Plus they will love the fun and colorful pictures.

Because it's geared for littler kids, there is intentionally brief sentences. For older kids, parents will probably need to supplement what they say about each page for age-appropriateness. For example, the page that shows that Aiden is angry shows him throwing something and then a little picture of him cleaning it up, but for me and my kids, I wanted to emphasize more how it's okay to feel mad but the way we express our anger can lead to bad choices. So I have to incorporate some more information throughout the book to point out behavior and relation to feelings.

I liked how they included a photograph at the end of the real Aiden this book was inspired for! My kids get more excited about books when they know the people 'are real.' So that was fun for them to see.

Would definitely recommend this book for toddlers!

“This is the problem with friendships. Sometimes you know things you shouldn’t know; sometimes you carry other people’s secrets for them. And sometimes, that burden takes its toll.”


This book had a lot of hype. I’d seen it recommended a lot and it was the winner for best mystery/thriller, so perhaps my expectations were set too high. For all the accolades, it was a bit underwhelming.

Had I gone into this book without knowing the hype, I think I would have liked it better.

One of the blurbs on the back of the book said that the twists keep coming until the end, but I don’t agree with that. Nothing felt like a huge surprise and the ‘big twist’ felt again— underwhelming.

However, I can still recommend this book, just curb your expectations!


The premise of this book is that a young maid, Molly, who works in a luxury hotel, walks into a room where a wealthy and regular guest is dead in his bed. Suspected murder. Because of her abnormal behavior and mannerisms and her proximity socially and physically to the scene, Molly is the prime suspect. She must clear her name. Along the way she experiences betrayals and discovers who her real friends are.


There are a surprising amount of one- and two-star reviews for this book. It would seem that the controversy surrounding this book and what I feel like is the primary reason for these reviews is because of the author-described: “social awkwardness” of Molly the maid.


There are similarities to Eleanor Oliphant, but Molly has a bit more cheery and friendly persona.


People are upset that Molly was not given the description of ‘autistic’ when all of her descriptors point to that. They also feel like she was portrayed as a caricature for an autistic person. Additionally, they feel the character Juan Manuel— an immigrant— was also portrayed as a caricature.

I don’t feel qualified to evaluate the validity of the claims against the autistic descriptor. I like that she wrote about a neurodivergent person. I liked Molly’s character. She was sweet. Yes, a bit naive. She relied on her grandmother to explain so many confusing social queues or mannerisms that she didn’t understand. When her grandma passed, she was left to navigate the confusing on her own. It did seem like some of these naivetes were a bit exaggerated and unrealistic for her to be confused about.

Also— I have no idea how the detective couldn’t recognize the character of Molly and was so against her. You would think a detective would look harder into what makes her strange if she didn’t grasp the autism already and take that into account as they investigated and interrogated. They seemed pretty bad at their jobs to not have any other suspects for such a high-profile victim. That part did seem over-the-top.

In general, perhaps it was unfair for the author to write some of these things, but as a reader, I read it as an individual character for a specific story not as a representative for the entire autism spectrum.

But again, I don’t know much about autism. The only nonfiction book I’ve read about it is On the Spectrum. So maybe my opinion doesn’t matter.

As to Juan Manuel’s character, I didn’t feel he was a caricature either, but I don’t think I’m very sensitive to recognize these things. To me his story described a common experience for immigrants in his position and reminded me of the struggles those who come to America have to face to make a living.

I was cheering for both Molly and Juan Manuel and it was painful to watch them be betrayed or treated poorly.



Recommendation

I would recommend this book, especially if you’re looking for more of a ‘cozy mystery’ type of read. It has a lot of light-hearted or humorous moments. It is a really fast read and does not take that much commitment to read.

There is the mystery of the murder and clues to be discovered, but I wouldn’t describe it as intense or twisty. I would say Molly’s personal growth is almost as prominent as the murder mystery.

Again, if you go into it with the right expectations I think you’ll really enjoy it; just don’t expect to be reading the best thriller the world has ever seen.


Sidenote: I do have Frieda McFadden’s book The Housemaid on my TBR. I’m curious to see how these two books compared, especially because they came out the same year. Something tells me McFadden’s book will be a little darker.


[Content Advisory: a handful of f-words; no sexual content]

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“Your existence testifies… There is nowhere you can hide where your life will not speak something to the world.”

Why get out of bed? What is the point? Why is it good and meaningful to live?

These are the questions Alan Noble seeks to answer in this short, direct, and transparent book.

There are many books written on the topic of grief and suffering, but I don’t think I’ve read one that tackles these questions specifically.

This is not a ‘pull-yourself-up-by-the-bootstraps’ inspirational pep talk. This is not a three step process to better manage your feelings and therefore your life— as so many self-help books so easily claim. It is also not meant to replace professional help from a medical doctor, psychiatrist, or counselor— which may be needed in certain circumstances.

“When you no longer have hope for a pleasurable life, when you have every expectation of increased suffering, suicide is logical— unless the reason we choose to go on living is something greater than pleasure, or freedom from pain, or even hope for a better tomorrow.”

What is your reason?



Noble is honest and transparent about the despair and anxiety that can trap us and keep us from viewing life as a gift. He doesn’t minimize the feelings but instead encourages us to endure. Not because having faith in God makes it all go away, but because He is the Sustainer who promises to restore us in this life or the next if we trust him with our life.

“By watching you endure, others will know that it is possible to keep going. They will have a model for perseverance. You don’t know whose life you may save by honestly and faithfully enduring a mental affliction.”

And with all of this, the key is that we cannot do any of it on our own. There is no ‘self-help.’ We need the Spirit’s strength to get out of bed. We need the Spirit of truth to combat the lies of the devil that wishes to destroy that which was made in the very image of God. We need God more than ever. ‘Self-help’ is not the answer.



I, personally, have not experienced the depth of depression or anxiety that many people have. This book has helped me to see the struggle that others face and to understand it better.

In fact, it was convicting when he shared that when he saw depressed people he used to think:

“You know, if they just made better choices, if they were just disciplined and stopped making excuses, they wouldn’t have to suffer this way.”

And I admit that I think this sometimes too. Because I haven’t experienced it, it feels like a choice. But I’ve been learning more and more to have compassion and grace and realize it’s not that simple.

Each of us will view life as both a gift and a burden at some point in our lives, so this book is for everyone. To help us understand our loved ones. To prepare ourselves for when we find ourselves in the pit.

Because:

“you may not need it now but it may hit you unexpectedly and you need an answer ready because you probably won’t be able to formulate one in the moment." … to answer the question- why live?



Your Life Testifies

I think I liked chapter three the best. It resonated with me that he says,

“Your existence testifies… There is nowhere you can hide where your life will not speak something to the world.”

Because we are made in the image of God, just being alive is a testament to Him and brings Him glory. Getting out of bed in the morning can feel impossible, but it is also courageous. We don’t know what the day will bring, but getting up testifies that life is a good thing and it is worth living. It is an act of faith. It is an act of worship.

“All we can do sometimes is to decide what our existence is a witness to, what it speaks of, and how we can share the burden of witnessing with one another.”

“Because you are made in the image of God, your personhood proclaims the goodness of a Creator God. You can try to denigrate your personhood through self-abuse or self-loathing, but you remain in His image, and so you testify.”

“Life will inevitably crush you, at one point or another, and your response to that suffering will testify to something. There will be times when subjectively you will be convinced that life is not worth living, and that existence is not beautiful or good but onerous and meaningless. When those times come, your obligation is to look toward others as witnesses of God’s goodness, to remember your responsibilities to care for others, and to remember that you are always a witness, whether you want to be or not. But most of all, remember that you are God’s beloved. This means acknowledging the objective reality that life is good, and that despite our distress, we must get up and carry on.”

“We offer our bodies as a living sacrifice by daily embracing life and dying to our flesh: our sinful desires, our selfishness, our pride, even our fear and despair. Unlike the sacrifices offered under the old covenant, which came through death, our sacrifices come through life, from the decision to honor God with our lives.”


What is True

Another thing that resonated with me was this:

“The goal is not to reason your brain out of despair. That rarely works, in my experience. Instead, it’s to form habits that in their very nature affirm what you know to be true when you don’t feel it to be true.”

While I haven’t experienced an intense form of depression, I did go through a real dark time of grief after miscarrying my first child. I became angry at God and bitter. I questioned his goodness and his love.

The thing was— I knew all the answers. I knew what was true, but it just didn’t FEEL true because I was hurting.

I found that I couldn’t sing the worship songs at church because the words were so contrary to what I was feeling in my heart. Instead, I pondered the words and with each verse and chorus I just said in my head- ‘Lord, these words don’t feel true, but I know they are. Help me to believe them. Help me to be able to sing these words again.’

I had a playlist of songs that spoke truth to my heart even when I didn’t feel it. And I know that God used truth to draw me back to him.

Forming habits to affirm truth over your life even when it feels like dissonance is an act of faith and trust that God will restore you. I think Noble’s advice is really good here.


The Road

He referred a lot to the book The Road by Cormac McCarthy. I have not read it. From the excerpts he includes and descriptions he gives, I can’t imagine it’s an emotionally easy read.

But it explores— through a mother, father, and son in throes of a dangerous dystopian world— whether life is worth living if future suffering is possible and probable.

Facing the horrors of the end of civilization, the mother lays out a very logical argument to commit suicide and she does so.

The father, however, does not. He looks at his son and sees through him “the goodness of life,” a “warrant of God’s existence.” He chooses to live to protect his son and to be a witness to his son that life is still worth living.

It’s not the Bible by any means, but perhaps reading that book as well would resonate with many.


I Wish

I wish he would have talked more about those who are contemplating suicide because of intense feelings of guilt. He does mention this briefly and reminds us of God’s grace and forgiveness, but I wish he would have spent more time on that aspect.

How do we counter the thoughts that the world doesn’t need us or that it’s better off without us because of things we have done that have hurt others? How does the Gospel and forgiveness work in these situations?

I also wish he would have had an appendix with some examples of how we can communicate these truths to our loved ones who experience depression. It’s easy to start sounding like Job’s friends when we try to help. Supporting people in the grips of despair feels like a fragile time for words and I think it would have been a great addition to give some examples of appropriate conversations.

It does make me think of the book When Words Matter Most that may be helpful here.


Recommendation

I definitely think this book is worth reading because it reminds us that just existing is an act of worship, choosing to live and just do the next thing is a witness to others, and that even in our struggles, we can still sacrificially love others in a really meaningful way.

Of course, as he says, you may need professional help or more than this book depending on your circumstances. Not all cases of ‘not wanting to get out of bed’ are the same. So this is not meant to be a ‘cure’ for mental illness, but I found it to be encouraging and gentle— a plea to endure in the midst of very real suffering.

Noble says:

“If you take away one truth, the one thing in this book I know with certainty, let it be this: your life is a good gift from a loving God, even when subjectively it doesn’t feel good or like a gift, and even when you doubt that God is loving. Please get out of bed anyway.”


Further Reading

If you are looking for something that delves more into mental illness in detail, this is not that.

If you are looking for a book that discusses why God allows pain and suffering and how we can reconcile that with God’s nature, I would recommend Mark Vroegop’s book Dark Clouds Deep Mercy, D.A. Carson’s book How Long O Lord?, and Suffering Wisely and Well by Eric Ortlund.


**Received a copy of this book from IVP in exchange for an honest review**

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“It feels like a victory that we are moving closer to the truth. But when the truth is taking you somewhere you don’t want to go, you also aren’t sure if you want that win.”

I inadvertently read the winners for the mystery/thriller category of the Goodreads Choice Awards 2021 and 2022 (The Maid) back to back. The Maid didn’t seem above and beyond all other books, but I felt like The Last Thing He Told Me fit better as a winner.

It is more of a mystery than a thriller though if that matters to you.

It was a really engaging book that I read super fast. While I don’t think the characters had a lot of depth, the circumstances surrounding them made me more invested in their conflict and their relationships.

I am also unsure how I feel about the ending. I’m still trying to wrap my mind around how it played out and deciding if it’s the best ending. In some ways I see the beauty of the decision, but in other ways (like as a parent or a daughter) it feels like an impossible result.


When I first finished the book, I felt like I really liked it! But after I started reading other people’s bad reviews it made me question my original feelings. I don’t like that. Reviews really can influence your opinion of a book. But if uninfluenced I like a book, I don’t think I should have to question if I ‘was wrong’ about an opinion.

So maybe don’t read reviews before or after you read the book. Which I realize is ironic to put in a review that I’m hoping people read haha. I’m just saying, if you like a mystery but others don’t— who cares?

All that to say: I would recommend this book!


The Premise

It begins with Hannah receiving a handwritten note delivered to her home by a student that says only two words: “Protect Her.”

The note is from her husband, Owen, who has now gone missing and not answering any calls. Shortly after, it is released that the software company he works for, The Shop, is under investigation for fraud. Owen’s boss is already in custody.

Then Bailey, Owen’s daughter (Hannah’s stepdaughter), comes home from school with a duffel bag with more than $600k inside left for her by her father.

Hannah and Bailey are dumbfounded. Where is Owen? Why did he leave? Why would he leave them, especially Bailey behind? Is he guilty? Is he in danger? Are they in danger?

Although Hannah and Bailey have a strained relationship, they’re forced to depend on each other and figure out what’s going on and what Owen wants them to do. Their shock only deepens as they realize Owen is not who he said he was.

Hannah doesn’t know who they can trust and has a lot bigger challenge to ‘protect her’ than she initially realized.


Comments

As mentioned, it is not a thriller. It is the story of a mysterious disappearance and the strained relationship of a trying stepmother (who I liked) and resistant teenaged stepdaughter (who I didn’t like that much) and how their relationship develops through a shared traumatic bond.

The format of the book was present day with a few flashbacks increasingly longer ago to give clues as to who Owen was and what happened in his past. These were very short chapters.


I think the circumstances of a family being separated is what caused me to be most invested in the story. But because the way Owen disappeared didn’t make sense with his character I was also curious to figure out why he left the way he did and what his plan was.


I was a little surprised by the lower rated reviews for this one. (Goodreads was a tough audience. Amazon has a better 5 star percentage) I didn’t really see anything wrong with the story that would garner that response. Obviously not everyone will like every book, but I guess I just didn’t see the reasons they had being significant.


Another surprise for me was that many people didn’t like the chapter titles. Which is weird because usually I don’t like them either! But for some reason, it didn’t bother me in this book. I wouldn’t say they added a whole lot but they also didn’t detract like chapter titles often do.


I do think there could have been more complexity with the fraud part of the story and Owen’s background, but that would have probably required a lot longer book.

I think it would have helped keep readers invested if we understood Owen and his relationship with Hannah more before he disappeared so that we cared more that they should be together. However, to start the book with the note is a more gripping beginning to get people interested. So I think they had to do it that way but it reminded me a little of Two Nights in Lisbon (which I don’t recommend) in that I didn’t care for the characters or their plight by the middle.


Overall, I’m okay with most of the choices the author made— except the way Hannah handled the cash…. and the ending.

Without giving too much away, I guess I just find it hard to believe they made the choice they made but I’ve never been in that position so maybe I would have too. There were only two options. The idealistic part of me wishes there was a third option. I prefer more complete and happy endings!



This is now a limited series on Apple TV which I plan to watch. Based on the trailer it looks like it follows the book closely, but I will update with my thoughts once I watch it. Jennifer Garner plays Hannah and I think that was a good casting choice.


[Content Advisory: a few f- and s-words; no sexual content]

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“You are not what you think you are. You are not the normal person you see when you look in the mirror. You come from a long blood-line of great power and tremendous bravery.”

This is a middle-grade book. Probably geared more towards boys because the main characters are boys.

It’s a bit hard to review a book in which I’m not the target audience and I’ve never been.

I’m not sure what middle school boys like to read but I would think the premise of the book would capture their attention:

Two boys— Rome and Julian— become blood brothers as they discover their destiny to be dragon and rider and fight against the powers of evil to save their world.

The ‘synergy’ that is being searched for is the mysterious energy that specially bonds dragon to rider uniting them in thought, feeling, and life span. This synergy is required for Rome to become fully dragon and for Julian to gain the special weapons (which he obtains through the throw of a die) he needs to fight properly.


I think boys will be drawn to the action of fighting beasts from ‘The Void’ and the boys having access to special powers. I think boys will also be drawn to the quest of having to make choices for good and for others, not being selfish.


This book is the first in the series. I think Salter set up the ending of this book nicely to prepare for the next book. Even though it’s far-fetched that parents would allow a couple of fifth-grade boys to go study abroad for four weeks in London, it’s a good and exciting setting for the next book to add more adventure.


The things that bothered me about the book may not even register for young boys so these may be inconsequential for potential readers.

For one, the copy I had access to would benefit from another round of editing as there were several grammar and spelling errors.

The biggest annoyance for me, though, was the lack of contractions. It makes the dialogue sound unnatural and weird to read. Especially for that age of boys. For example, Salter wrote ‘I am going to go.’ instead of ‘I’m gonna go.’

Along with that was the inconsistent vocabulary and word choices. The writing voice jumped perspective from character to character. It was all still third person, but the way it was written shifted and disrupted the flow.

There were a lot of bigger words that I’m guessing middle school boys won’t know. It could be a good challenge for them, but I think it could be edited a little better to flow more smoothly and stay consistent from character to character and be more tailored to age-appropriate vocabulary and style of talking. A middle school boy probably wouldn’t say/think: “Sometimes I have just got to add a touch of wicked excitement to my humdrum existence.” Although- to be fair- I’m a woman in my thirties with kids under the age of 6… what do I know about middle school boys?

The concept of a boy and his dragon reminds me of the Eragon series. (Which is phenomenal.) When I think of the world that Christopher Paolini created in his books, I feel like Salter could have expanded more on that here. What is the background of the war between dragons and humans? What are more details of each of the six clans of dragons? What are their powers? It’s quite possible this is all fleshed out more in future books.

I know it’s often better to keep books for this age group shorter so I understand not having space for lots of extra detail. But when writing fantasy type of books, I think readers would be willing to read longer books to immersed in deeper world-building.


The last thing that bothered me as a parent reading this book was the relationships the boys had with their parents. Rome’s parents are not really present in the story. There is no sense of togetherness. They both work and Rome seems to want to avoid them.

Julian’s relationship with his father is not much better. It is stiff and professional. His father doesn’t like dragons but Julian thinks his dad is wrong. Julian has been training from a young age under a different set of principles, hiding them from his dad.

Julian tells Rome:

“At seven years old, I had to make a decision to disobey everything my father had taught me and live by MY principles instead. I can’t imagine what you may be going through, but I want you to know whatever you decide had better be the right choice for YOU.”

and he says:

“It is my duty as a Synergy Knight from the House of Rider to battle the Darkbrand army and drive it back to The Void. I just wish my dad could be more understanding so I wouldn’t have to hide it.”

I highly doubt the author is writing to try to convince readers to hide things from their parents.

But as a parent in a culture right now where parents are too often painted as the ‘bad guys’ and kids don’t respect their parents’ authority or principles, the relationships these boys have with their parents make me cringe.

I couldn’t help but also think of the transgender movement in which kids are told that ‘their true selves’ are different than the way they were born and their parents don’t understand and so therefore they need to hide their ‘transformation’ from them. Because kids have soooo much more wisdom and understanding of how the world works than their parents do…

I’m sure I’m reading into the story about this. I highly doubt the author was thinking of that as he wrote. It’s just supposed to be a fun story where the boys do whatever it takes to make sure ‘good prevails.’

But as a parent, if your sons or daughters are going to read this book, I think it would be a good talking point to discuss with them and let them know that you want them to trust you to tell them the truth about things going on with them even if they go against the parents’ principles. That doing good shouldn’t require you to hide the truth, especially from your parents.

Am I a killjoy yet? Haha. Again, to be clear, these are not the principles of the book and the purpose for the story, but I felt compelled to share where my mind went in case any other parents may have the same concerns.


Recommendation

As I stated before, I think most of my issues with the book would not register with young readers. For that reason, I think it could still be a fun series for middle-schoolers to read. It is full of action, adventure, heroism, and the bond of friendship. There are also elements of humor between the boys as well.

The end of this book sets up great potential for the rest of the series.

Also, other than one use of ‘BS’ it’s a clean book with no swearing or sexual content.

I would just be aware, as a parent, of some of the things your kids may be reading so that you can have open discussions about it!


[Content Advisory: one use of ‘BS’; no sexual content; perhaps some talking points on keeping secrets from your parents]


**Received a digital copy of this book from the author in exchange for an honest review**

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“What we share is a concern for all children, along with an awareness that boys appear to need special help right now. That is not backlash against female achievement; it is reality and common sense.”

This is no doubt a controversial book. We are in a culture promoting ‘girl power’ and ‘women empowerment’ and males are increasingly just associated with ‘toxic masculinity.’

The War Against Boys is a book written to expose the plight of our young boys. They are falling behind. In many ways, but in one surprising way— academics.

What’s worth noting is that this book was originally published in 2000 and then updated in 2012. As the year is currently 2023, I’m sure some of the statistics are outdated. Although I’d be curious to know in which direction. My guess is that considering the trend toward focusing on females has continued, it’s likely boys have fallen even more behind.


I am a mother of two girls and two boys. And I want them all to succeed in life and to be treated well. I want my girls to feel like their voice matters and that they can pursue any number of careers. I want them to feel equal in worth to boys. I want my boys to know that they still matter. That they are not what’s wrong with the world. That they are not destined to become violent discriminators. I want them to feel like their education matters too and that they do not need to be diminished in order to encourage the females in their lives.

It is a balance isn’t it?


What do they mean by ‘boys are falling behind?’

“studies by the DOE and the Higher Education Research Institute show that, far from being timorous and demoralized, girls outnumber boys in student government, honor societies, and school newspapers. They also receive better grades, do more homework, take more honors courses, read more books, eclipse males on tests of artistic and musical ability, and generally outshine boys on almost every measure of classroom success. At the same time, fewer girls are suspended from school, fewer are held back, and fewer drop out. In the technical language of education experts, girls are more academically ‘engaged.’”


Sommers, a former philosophy professor, discusses things like the wage gap, zero-tolerance policies, value-free education, socialization vs. biology, some lady named Carol Gilligan that apparently did a crap job of creating a legitimate study to prove her conclusions about girls being in despair and boys being violent,… among other evidence to show the ways that policies meant to help girls were potentially not necessary and further, were a hindrance to boys.


For some reason I thought this was going to be a faith-based book— probably because it was quoted in Alisa Childer’s book Live Your Truth (and Other Lies). But this was a secular book. The author dissects the issue from philosophical, social, psychological, and ethical perspectives.

I really liked this book because it put evidence and studies affirming the things I had already been noticing. I am pro-people. And it has made me uncomfortable with how much females are elevated at the expense and denigration of boys and men.

As she states in her book:

“The current plight of boys and young men is, in fact, a women’s issue. Those boys are our sons; they are the people with whom our daughters will build a future. If our boys are in trouble, so are we all.”

With all the things we hear and see about gender equality, this book was pretty enlightening to read and see how well girls are actually doing and how we need to stop ignoring the boys or stop only focusing on getting them to sit still, stop wrestling, and to play with more dolls.

I definitely think this book is worth everyone reading, if only to help us think critically about the ways studies are conducted and used to mislead the masses into potentially harmful policies.


The Gender Gap

It is touted in the media that the gap in education is based on race or class.

But in reality, the main gap in education is gender-based.

“the AAUW obscures the fact that the gender gap favors girls across all ethnic, racial, and social lines.”

People attempt to use the wage gap as evidence that boys are doing fine educationally. But further study (like Thomas Sowell’s book Discrimination and Disparities) reveals that there really isn’t a wage gap. When statistics include all the relevant variables and compare apples to apples, women often make more.

“The 23-cent gender pay gap is simply the difference between the average earnings of all men and women working full-time. It does not account for differences in occupations, positions, education, job tenure, or hours worked required per week.”

“When mainstream economists consider the wage gap, they find that pay disparities are almost entirely the result of women’s different life preferences— what men and women choose to study in school, where they work, and how they balance their home and career.”

“Today, women in the US earn 57% of bachelor’s degrees, 60% of master’s degrees, and 52% of PhDs.”


One interesting thing this book explains is that men are most found on the extremes:

“There are far more men than women at the extremes of success and failure. And failure is more common. There may be 480 male CEOs of Fortune 500 companies (20 women), 438 male members of Congress (101 women), and 126,515 full professors (45,571 women). But consider the other side… More than one million Americans are classified by the Department of Labor as ‘discouraged workers.’ These are workers who have stopped looking for jobs because they feel they have no prospects or lack the requisite skills and education. Nearly 60% are men. Consider also that more than 1.5 million men are in prison. For women the figure is 113,462.”

I’m curious to know what the current statistics for these figures would be.


Classroom Strategies

Classroom strategies have changed to become more geared toward girls.

“As our schools become more feelings entered, risk averse, competition-free, and sedentary they move further and further from the characteristic sensibilities of boys.”

I’m not sure how widespread these changes are— my daughter’s school in Iowa has not succumbed to these— but it is concerning. For example, many schools have eliminated tug-of-war and replaced it with tug-of-peace. They have outlawed the game of tag because it creates ‘victims’ and affects self-esteem. Dodgeball is being outlawed because it creates resentment. Recesses are going away. Anything that is a competition is adjusted so that no one’s feelings are hurt.

Activities in classrooms become feelings and imagination-oriented rather than physical. Imaginative play that has good guys and bad guys and superheros, etc is re-directed to something more ‘domesticated.’

“From the earliest age, boys show a distinct preference for active outdoor play, with a strong predilection for games with body contact, conflict, and clearly defined winners and losers. Girls, too, enjoy raucous outdoor play, but they engage in it less.”

Teachers and administration are blurring the lines between rough and tumble play and actual aggression. Boys are getting punished more for things that are not that serious. This was the zero-tolerance policy. It led to more suspensions which is a direct indicator of boys becoming disengaged in school and not going to higher education.

Also because behavior is often factored into grades by young ages and boys tend to ‘act out’ more than girls, their grades are affected adversely.

It’s quite eye-opening to consider the long-term effects of these classroom strategies in how boys relate to and perceive learning and school.

“In classrooms across the country little boys got the message that there was something wrong with them— something the teacher was trying to change. It is doubtful that these efforts at resocialization were ever successful. But they surely succeeded in making lots of little boys confused and unhappy.”


Socialization or Biology?

There are many voices saying that we have socialized gender differences between girls and boys and created these stereotypes of what they are interested in or enjoy playing with. But stereotypes typically come from a place of truth.

Virginia Valian, researcher of gender equity, says, “we don’t accept biology as destiny… We vaccinate, we inoculate, we medicate… I propose we adopt the same attitude toward biological sex differences.”

But this is two very different things. We vaccinate and inoculate and medicate against harmful things that are in our body—disease— that shouldn’t be there.

“Being a typical little boy or girl is not a pathology in need of a cure.”

“Steven Pinker points to the absurdity of ascribing these universal differences to socialization: ‘It would be an amazing coincidence that in every society the coin flip that assigns each sex to one set of roles would land the same way.’”

I can speak from my own experience that girls and boys play differently. I had two girls first. So when the boys came, our house was already inundated with girl toys and dolls. My boys sometimes play with the dolls or the girls toys, but they more often than not play with the balls and the cars. Even if they push a stroller around it’s usually filled with cars or magnet tiles they’re constantly building with. We didn’t have to teach them that. They were naturally more drawn to those toys and interested in throwing and building and wrestling.


Carol Gilligan

There are two chapters dedicated to discussing Carol Gilligan’s studies and conclusions regarding boys and girls. I won’t go into all of it here but Sommers pokes a lot of holes in the methodology of Gilligan’s work and the fact that she did not release any information to be studied by others.

When a study that claims such ‘profound’ and ‘important’ things that affect half or more of the population, you’d think she would allow her methods to be studied in order to try to replicate them. She has kept records confidential.

Her work was apparently monumental in the movement towards shifting learning strategies to focus on girls and their self-esteem.

“Gilligan’s powerful myth of the incredible shrinking girl did more harm than good. It patronized girls, portraying them as victims of the culture. It diverted attention from the academic deficits of boys. It also gave urgency and credibility to a specious self-esteem movement that wasted everybody’s time.”


Value-Free Education and Morality

Another interesting classroom movement was the shift to “value-free” education.

“‘Values clarification’ was popular in the 1970s. Proponents of values clarification consider it inappropriate for a teacher to encourage students, however subtly or indirectly, to adopt the values of the teacher or the community. The cardinal sin is to impose values on the student.”

The school shouldn’t be teaching morals? Why would someone oppose that?

“Those who oppose directive moral education often call it a form of brainwashing or indoctrination. That is sheer confusion. To brainwash children undermines their autonomy and rational self-mastery, and diminishes their freedom. To educate them and to teach them to be competent, self-controlled, and morally responsible in their actions increases their freedom and deepens their humanity.”

Of course there are some areas of morality that people differ from— like when we start to talk about where morals come from and why we care about them and who decides what is right and wrong. But it also seems naive to think you can actually teach a classroom without instilling some version of morals, boundaries, or guidelines that dictate how people are treated in the classroom and beyond.

I like how the author states that: “Leaving children to discover their own values is a little like putting them in a chemistry lab full of volatile substances and saying, ‘Discover your own compounds, kids.’”

It is a service to children to develop ethics and morals in them from a young age. It helps them become autonomous adults functioning in the world.

Value-free education often becomes teaching kids to ‘question everything.’ But:

“Too often, we teach students to question principles before they understand them.”

Children benefit from having boundaries and learning principles. They do not benefit from a ‘free-for-all’ environment.

It was in this chapter on morality that Sommers talked about an organization called Positive Action that seemed to be doing good things in teaching kids to know, care about, and act upon morals.

“My message is not to ‘let boys be boys.’’ Boys should not be left to their boyishness but should rather be guided and civilized… History teaches us that masculinity without morality is lethal. But masculinity constrained by morality is powerful and consecutive, and a gift to women.”

“Children need to be moral more than they need to be in touch with their feelings. They need to be well educated more than they need classroom self-esteem exercises and support groups. Nor are they improved by having their femininity or masculinity “reinvented.” Emotional fixes are not the answer. Genuine self-esteem comes with pride in achievement, which is the fruit of disciplined effort.”


Inner Turmoil

A lot of the conclusions made by gender theorists is that girls and boys alike are both struggling with some sort of inner turmoil: girls because they are being oppressed by males in our socialization process and boys because they are being told to separate from their mothers and become men which causes them to become violent.

But, as Sommers provides evidence in this book— that is not actually the case. And the evidence supposedly accumulated to support that claim is inconclusive and poorly gathered.

“Before we call for radical changes in the way we rear our male children, we ought to ask the boy reformers to tell us why there are so many seemingly healthy boys who, despite having been “pushed from their mothers,” are nonviolent, morally responsible human beings. How do those who say boys are disturbed account for the fact that in any given year less than one half of 1 percent of males under eighteen are arrested for a violent crime?”

“To be sure, adolescence is a time of some ‘inner turmoil’— for boys and girls, in America and everywhere else, from time immemorial. But American children, boys as well as girls, are on the whole psychologically sound. They are not isolated, full of despair, or ‘hiding parts of themselves from the world’s gaze’— no more so, at least, than any other age group in the population.”


Other Countries

Sommers brings up Great Britain and Australia as being ahead of the US in identifying this plight of young boys and taking measures to help boys succeed academically. One way they do that is same-sex education classes— boys’ schools and girls’ schools.

I’m not sure how I feel about that solution. I can see how it would definitely help academics. I’m curious to know how certain social factors are affected by that scenario. And would the pros outweigh the cons? (She also describes in this book the success vocational schools have had in the US— that was intriguing information to me as well.)

Sommers rightly points out that the attitude of these countries about this problem is significantly different than the US.

“The mood in Great Britain and Australia is constructive and informed by good research and common sense. The mood in the United States is contentious, ideological, and cowed by gender politics.”

I hate that so many problems become politicized which in turn really just means we run circles around the problem and nothing helpful is ever done about it. Great Britain and Australia— can you send some of your common sense to the powers that be over here?!

“Americans seem all too ready to entertain almost any suggestion that a large group of outwardly normal people are suffering from some pathological affliction.”

That is a true statement too. As a whole, our country’s critical thinking skills have disappeared lately and everyone’s feelings are running the show.

And that means everyone loses.

“Most of all, we need a change of attitude. The women’s lobby, the Department of Education, the gender theorists in our schools of education, the ACLU, the authors of the Perkins Act Reauthorization, and the president of the United States are so carried away with girl power they have forgotten about our male children. They have distracted themselves and the nation from acknowledging a plain and simple fact: American boys across the ability spectrum and in all age groups have become second-class citizens in the nation’s schools.”


Recommendation

I’ve included a lot here— perhaps you’ve skipped over most of it. That’s okay. Especially if you plan to read the book for yourself.

I think ‘The War Against Boys’ is an important voice to have in the mix when we’re thinking about gender differences and how kids learn, play, and develop.

Gender differences is taboo right now, but all it takes is to have girls and boys of your own to see that gender difference is a very real and very natural thing. We would be naive to treat it as a disease we’ve created that needs to be cured.

I hope people read this book and recognize the things we need to pay attention to when it comes to our boys. And to see that boys’ success and future in the world is integral to girls’ success and future. There is no superior or inferior gender.

I don’t know if I’d go so far as to say this is a ‘war’ as the title suggests, but I definitely think boys are becoming more and more disadvantaged as activists continue to denigrate the male gender and slap unfair labels on them as a group and then punish them for it.

I would recommend everyone read this book— an oft-silenced perspective— and think about the ways we can encourage our boys to be engaged in school and learning and thus be better developed and prepared for adult life.

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“‘I think,’ he said slowly, ‘that sometimes, the roads we don’t know we’re walking are the ones that lead us to exactly where we’re meant to be.’”


Well, shoot. If this book doesn’t just rip your heart out. I had thought I was incapable of crying lately, but this book did me in.

You would think reading another WWII novel would be just like any other, but the way Kristin Harmel wrote these mother characters and the impossible choices they had to make during the war so poignantly, you couldn’t help but feel their pain in a unique way.

And also I’m a mother and things like this just cut right to my heart.

This is a beautiful story of motherhood, friendship, art, grief, and hope.


Allow me to give you a better description of the premise here:

This is the story of three mothers and friends— Juliette, Ruth, and Elise— living in Paris right before the German invasion.

Ruth, a Jew, makes the heart-breaking decision to send her children away through an organization that will give them new identities and places to live in order to protect them from capture. But she may never see them again. (Read Harmel’s book The Book of Lost Names for more on this story… plus there’s a smidge of crossover into this book.)

Elise, US citizen living in Paris and wife to a well-known artist who is part of an underground communist group, is in danger after her husband is captured and killed by Nazis after he gives them her name instead of his compatriots. She is forced to leave her two-year-old daughter with Juliette with false identity papers and escape the city in order to protect them both.

Juliette, US citizen living in Paris, now caring for her own family and Elise’s daughter— who is the same age as her own daughter— has already experienced the loss of a baby earlier in life and then experiences another incredible loss as a result of a wayward bomb. It hits her home and more of her family dies. With nothing left for her in Paris, she travels back to the United States to pick up the pieces of her life and find a way to hold onto all that she has lost.


That’s the first half of the book. The second half picks up after the liberation of Paris and the end of the war. Ruth and Elise are trying to reunite with their children. Juliette is nowhere to be found.

We see the anguish of Elise, not knowing what happened to her daughter.
We see the trauma of Juliette and how it turns into bitterness, resentment, and a strong grip on the past.
We see the strength and resilience of Ruth, who, though she experienced suffering, has found a way to move forward, and desires to help her friends do the same.

“‘So what do I do? How do I close the door on the life I had when I don’t know what happened to my child?’
‘That will come in time,’ Ruth replied. ‘Until then, my friend, you must keep putting one foot in front of the other. You must live, and one day, you will realize that the future lies ahead of you, and it is time to let the past go.’”


I really liked that this book goes beyond the war and explores how people move forward after such a painful time. Because life does keep happening and people must figure out how to continue living— how to just do the next thing.

Most WWII novels tend to stay within the confines of the war-time period; the exploration of grief in this book required Harmel to take it further and see how people can be shaped by the past but still face the future.

And what can happen when we clutch onto that which we no longer have. Though the depth of Juliette’s grief is understandable and we can hardly blame her, we see that grief can easily turn into bitterness and cause one to miss out on the beauty life can still hold even after incredible loss. That others can be deeply affected by our inability to move forward or see what’s in front of us.

“I want you to realize that you’re ignoring the present and throwing away the future.”

“There was a difference between honoring the past and being trapped by it.”

This was the basis of my only qualm with the book— the way Harmel resolved Juliette’s story. I don’t know if I liked it. I don’t know if I felt enough character change for the better by the end. Maybe that was intentional. But I wanted to see her move forward from her grief not just escape it.


I also really liked how Harmel delves into the aspect of ‘guilt’ that parents feel when they make hard choices for their children. Mom-guilt is real and the guilt these three women faced was immense. It is no easy choice to do what’s best for your child when it requires separation for safety.

“Being a parent is not about doing what is right for ourselves, is it? It’s about sacrificing all we can, big and small, to give our children their best chance at life.”

I just can’t even imagine the pain of that choice, yet it was one so many mothers made during WWII. The future was so uncertain. Harmel did an excellent job capturing this struggle and the feelings that came after it was all over.


Lastly, I enjoyed the incorporation of art in this book. Elise is an artist— painting and wood sculpture. Harmel describes Elise’s journey through her grief through her art. It also becomes a connection point between mother and daughter in a beautiful way.

I’m not an emotion-driven artist, but I can still appreciate the way that art evokes emotions in a lot of people and can be an important form of expression.

Harmel did a lot of research on carving and it showed in her descriptions. In the author’s note she suggests THIS WEBSITE of carver Mary May who answered a lot of her questions and even offers classes for wood carving. I’m not super familiar with wood carvings— especially of people— so some of that art in the book was harder to visualize than the paintings. I’m amazed how people can create such likenesses from carving a solid block of wood.


When I read historical fiction I always enjoy reading the author’s note to see what aspects were true and how they went about researching for their book. I appreciate all the legwork authors put in to make their books true to history as much as possible. Since apparently I didn’t retain much from my history classes in school, I always enjoy learning new things.

Something interesting Harmel shares is that the ocean liner her character sails on to the US— the SS United States— was a real ship built in 1950. It crossed the Atlantic in 3 days, 10 hours, and 40 minutes. breaking the previous record by 10 hours. And it still holds the record for fastest ocean liner to cross the Atlantic in either direction. That’s crazy to me! You’d think with new technology and building materials/methods we would be able to create something faster, but passenger travel by ship across the ocean is no longer in demand with the advent of air travel so it’s probably not a profitable endeavor.

Another historical thing worth mentioning was the errant bombs that were dropped in Paris like that in the book. Harmel shares that hundreds of citizens were killed and injured as a result of bombs that missed their targets. It reminded me of Malcolm Gladwell’s book, The Bomber Mafia, which talks about the invention of bomb sightings to ensure less missed targets and less citizen deaths. That precision bombing was an invention that changed the way war was waged and pointed to a more moral way to do it. Although it is weird to say that precision bombing is moral…


Recommendation

I would definitely recommend this book. I have a feeling this is going to make my list of best books in 2023. It is such a captivating story that you will become so invested in. The way she writes to evoke emotion in the reader is superb.

It’s not just ‘another WII' novel’ in my mind. It’s unique and beautiful and reminds us that grief, though deeply painful, does not have to be the end for us. There is a way to move forward. And the support of friends and loved ones is vital. It’s a tribute to all the mothers out there who sacrifice for their children.

Harmel says,

“I hope that when reading books like mine, you’re reminded that managing to pick ourselves up and put one foot in front of the other is always a victory— and that there is always light in the darkness, even if that spark is sometimes hard to see.”

The Paris Daughter is, as Harmel had hoped “another powerful affirmation of the human capacity for goodness, strength, and faith in the face of adversity.”


[Content Advisory: no f- or s-words or sexual content; trigger warning for child loss]

**Received an ARC via NetGalley**

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