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shelfreflectionofficial's Reviews (844)
(3.5 rounded up)
[Nominated for ‘Best Memoir/Biography’ category of the 2021 Goodreads Choice Awards Reading Challenge]
“By nature and by choice, I was a wonderer and a wanderer. I still am.”
It’s possible I live under a rock because I had no idea who Cicely Tyson was. At least by name. Turns out I had seen her play Viola Davis’s character’s mother in the TV show How to Get Away with Murder. That was one of her latest roles among many apparently notable performances in things I have not seen.
Cicely Tyson died in January of last year right after this book was published.
She has written her memoir and aptly titled it, Just As I Am. She is independent and fierce, authentic and unapologetic. She holds to her convictions and works as hard as she needs to to accomplish what is before her. She is who she is and she won’t change who she is to make others comfortable; she won’t cover up the struggles that made her who she is.
She had always said she wasn’t going to write a memoir until she had something to say. And she did have quite a bit to say because it’s a pretty long book. I would say probably a smidge too long.
But here are the ups and downs of her last work here on earth:
Good Framework
When I opened the book and saw the table of contents I was excited to read the book.
Viola Davis (who plays Annelise in How to Get Away with Murder) gives the foreword, explaining how Cicely Tyson’s work and person planted a seed in Viola that grew to push her into acting.
“For six decades, Ms. Tyson has shown us who we are; vulnerable, magnificent, pain-ridden, and beautifully human. Time and time again, she has put our humanity on display, never compromising her dignity while creating a new chapter in Black history.”
The book is divided into three parts: Planted, Rooted, Bountiful.
Cicely gave a beautiful illustration of how she is like a Christmas tree, her achievements the ornaments and lights wrapping the branches. But there is far more to her than the baubles and lights:
“What I am far more interested in is how my tree, my story, first sprang into existence. How its roots, stretching far beneath the soil, have nourished and anchored me. How each tree ring whispers memories sometimes too troubling for me to recall. How its bark and rugged exterior have both guarded and grounded me… That foundation, that rich earth, has given birth to who I am. The thousands of lights adorning its branches disclose nothing about its path, about its nurturing and growth over the decades. Only when that tree is stripped of its embellishments does it bare its scars and shows its true nature.”
I love this concept! I think it’s a beautiful thing to reflect on if we were to imagine ourselves as trees— the seeds that were planted, the things that nourished us and grew us, the roots that establish us, the branches that stretch and shade and produce fruit. We may hide behind our decorations, but that’s not what makes us who we are.
So my first impression of this book was this powerful framework to set up how she would share with us her story.
Cicely is authentic and transparent in sharing her story. She truly strips down the garnishes and lays out the truth, hard truths that people usually keep hidden. I respect that about her. More on that later.
I will say that I was a little disappointed in the execution of this framework. I wish she would have come back to this illustration throughout each chapter to tie it all together. It felt a little disjointed to me and it was hard to trace which part of her ‘tree’ she was describing for us and how that influenced her life.
There were also so many names and references to things I had no clue about (same as Yes Please, Scrappy Little Nobody, and Mobituaries) so a lot of the book in that way didn’t mean much to me and felt boring to read.
Okay, I did know SOME of the names: her cousin played with Louis Armstrong; she is godmother to Lenny Kravitz and children of Tyler Perry and Denzel Washington; she’s bffs with Maya Angelou, MLK’s wife, Oprah, and James Earl Jones; Obama gave her the Medal of Freedom; she got married to Miles Davis at Bill Cosby’s house.
As with most celebrity memoirs that I read, a lot of the name-dropping and such feels a little braggy but they are celebrities and it makes sense that they would be well-connected in the celebrity circles. It’s clear that Cicely Tyson meant a lot to a lot of people!
Faith
A big, yet a little confusing, part of her memoir is her statements of faith and her devotion to the Lord. She describes herself as a church girl and says she will bow to nothing else except her Creator.
She also says,
“The same Master who holds the firmaments in the crease of his palms, who commands oceans to recede, who maintains humanity’s entire existence with the mist of his breath—that God, the Source of time itself, the Creator of all life, has forever been directing mine.”
“What God means for you to have, no one can take away from you. It’s already yours. Our mission, as God’s children, is to surrender to what he has ordained—and to freely let all else just pass us by.”
It is clear that her faith is important to her, that she is devoted to God and believes in his sovereignty and leading in her life.
The confusing part for me is the ‘sixth sense’ she says she has that led her to seek out a palm reader to understand her visions, and she doesn’t really talk about desiring others to be saved, especially with all the pain and drama surrounding her relationship with Miles Davis.
She also says this,
“The Spirit is ever beckoning us to heed that wisdom, to get on with what we’ve been put here to do. And whatever that calling looks like, however it may seemingly vary from one person or season to the next, at its core, it is simply this: cherish one another. That is all. That is our purpose in its entirety, to bestow God’s care onto others.”
This statement is partially true but it is borderline Therapeutic Moral Deism which is Christianity skewed into a belief that God just wants everyone to be nice to each other and we all just follow our hearts and do whatever feels right. Our purpose on earth is certainly not less than to bestow God’s care on others, but it is definitely more. We are here to glorify God. To love God and love others. But to cherish God’s truth and make disciples.
Miles Davis was a very troubled man who was addicted to drugs and womanizing. Cicely saw the same behavior in her own father yet ultimately, though she spent years avoiding him, she gave in to her attraction to Miles and subjected herself to years of pain and heartache before she eventually divorced him.
She claims this of their relationship:
“Relationships are knitted together by need. When two people connect, the purpose each is serving in the other’s life is what holds the union in place, keeps the ragged edges of its hemline sewn.”
She says Miles needed her to save him and she needed to be able to save him and care for him in ways she couldn’t do for her own father. I admire that she recognized this about herself and doesn’t necessarily claim it to be the right way to do a relationship, but she never voices how her faith plays into this.
She views herself as Davis’s savior instead of expressing a desire for him to know her true Savior, the only one who can really save him and change his heart. Maybe she shared the gospel with him and just doesn’t share that in her book. But it seems odd/sad to me that she would love him so much but not enough to try to save his tormented soul with the words of Life.
Plus a marriage founded on Christ is not knitted together by needs because Christ is the only thing that satisfies us. It is a mutual commitment to love and sacrifice for the other. Relationships held together by need are at their core selfish and are bound to fail.
I don’t want to review her memoir with judgment and I’ve probably already failed on that already. I don’t doubt that her faith in God is authentic and foundational to her life and career path, but I just wish I would have seen her share more of what drives her with others and especially in her relationship with Miles Davis.
Life Highlights
She shares about her parents’ upbringing in Nevis and their relationship in America. She is honest about her father’s failings and the ways her mother took care of her family.
She shares some of her defining moments as a black woman and ways she was taken advantage of.
She describes how she became pregnant at a young age and was forced to marry. She explains her struggles as a young mother and providing for her daughter, the choice to send her to boarding school and the ways that she is working to make up for the time she spent away from her daughter. It was crazy to me that she’s been able to keep her daughter’s life so private! I tried to google about her and couldn’t find anything beyond what she shares in this book.
She talks a lot about her roles as an actress. She turned down numerous roles because it was very important to her to only portray the best of black women.
She talks about Blaxploitation in the film industry that reinforces stereotypes or portrays black people, and in particular black women, in a negative light.
I admire that she stuck with her convictions on what she would play, even if it cost her jobs or popularity. She had a calling to raise up black women and remind the world about their fortitude, their resilience, the strength, and their humanity. And though I haven’t seen her body of work, it seems apparent that she more than accomplished that in her life.
“I was determined to do all I could to alter the narrative about Black people—to change the way Black women in particular were perceived, by reflecting our dignity.”
“Black women—our essence, our emotional intricacies, the indignities we carry in our bones—are the most deeply misunderstood human beings in history. Those who know nothing about us have had the audacity to try to introduce us to ourselves, in the unsteady strokes of caricature, on stages, in books, and through their distorted reflections of us… when we dare tiptoe outside the lines of those typecasts, when we put our full humanity on display, when we threaten the social constructs that keep others in comfortable superiority, we are often dismissed. There is no archetype on file in which a Black woman is simultaneously resolute and trembling, fierce and frightened, dominant and receding.”
Politics
The primary focus of this book is a memoir, yet she makes it clear that she intends to be a voice of strength in a particular political climate.
She was alive when MLK was assassinated. She experienced pay discrimination as a black woman. She has seen a lot.
I wanted to hear about her life and her own experience as a black woman in America during the time of the Civil Rights Movement. But she made some strong statements that seemed less about her own experience and more about promoting the mainstream narrative today about systemic racism and that white males are still trying to oppress black people— that our system was specifically designed for black oppression.
Even the fact that black is capitalized in her book and white is not is a strong statement. (Jemar Tisby did this as well in his book How to Fight Racism.) Whether that was Cicely’s decision or her co-author, I don’t know. I don’t deny there is still racism today and that there were practices in the past like redlining that were systematically racist, but I’ve done a lot of reading on this and I don’t buy into this entire narrative.
Here are some of Cicely’s quotes:
“The lie of Black inferiority was built right into America’s infrastructure, and to this day, that framework remains stubbornly intact.”
“It’s no wonder that many African Americans carry a lingering distrust of whites, even those we sincerely love and embrace. Given the horrors of our abuse in this nation, we are understandably wary. To ever heal this deep racial traumas—and seldom has it felt more urgent that we do—we must acknowledge that they indeed still exist, throbbing and tender beneath the surface, spilling over, like molten rage, into the streets… It is critical that we connect that centuries-long ugly history with, in our times now, a cop’s knee on George Floyd’s neck and bullets riddling Breonna Taylor’s body… even when the impulse arises to cringe and look away from a system predicated on Black oppression, a system that is still doing precisely what it was designed to do…”
I found it interesting that she brings up George Floyd and Breonna Taylor as the primary examples of racism in America. She even mentions that Breonna Taylor was shot in her bed while she slept. This is not true.
To me, she loses a little credibility when she has an entire lifetime of experiences to draw from yet she quotes these straight from the liberal script. It’s odd to me that everyone keeps holding up Floyd and Taylor as the primary and star examples of injustice and racism— if we’re looking at injustices done to innocent people by racist people, these examples are pretty far from that standard. I wish Cicely would have told us her own experiences and kept the political rhetoric— that is a lot of times based on incorrect or misleading reporting by the mainstream— out of her book.
(These books offer some good information and perspective on those topics: Fault Lines, Confronting Injustice without Compromising Truth, and Blackout.)
“So precarious has our financial position been that too many of us have been forced to choose between economic security and safety for our children.”
“When you know your history, you know your value. You know the price that has been paid for you to be here. You recognize what those who came before you built and sacrificed for you to inhabit the space in which you dwell.”
I don’t know if this is necessarily a political statement, but I feel like I want to challenge the idea that our history is what tells us our value. I think she is referring to the black race in general and all that they went through and that that provides black people with an incredible value because of what their ancestors endured to carry on. It’s definitely something momentous to remember and reflect on. But our value and worth is found in the fact that people of all races were created in the very image of God. It’s the sacrifice of Jesus to rescue us from our sin that tells us how valuable we are to our Creator. Our value and worth is bestowed on us in unconditional and perfect love outside of humanity’s efforts that always fall short.
Yes, we need to remember history and acknowledge the sacrifices of those who have gone before us. Yes, we need to remember history so that we do not repeat the failures of those before us. But sometimes I feel like we’re emphasizing the past too much when it comes to our identities. We are not defined by history. History shapes us, to be sure, but if we cling too much to the past, I feel like it hinders progress and it keeps us from moving forward. It keeps us from being truly unified in the body of Christ. There’s more to be considered here, but those are my initial thoughts.
“During a plague and a racial revolution, to be black is to be rendered deaf by the uproar, knowing that if this virus doesn’t take you down, a blue knee on your neck or bullets in your back just might. When you leave your house, you’re never quite sure whether you’ll make it back alive, and that is no exaggeration.”
“In our current times, I see the outcry as an opportunity for us to unite in action, to move from demonstration to legislation, from picketing to building economic parity.”
These are bold statements. Do black people really feel like every time they leave their house they are at risk to be killed? I cannot answer this question, but the word ‘never’ feels like an exaggeration.
She also wants to build to economic parity. But she doesn’t expound on what that means or what parity looks like. She mentions the wealth gap between whites and blacks but white people’s median household income falls behind 14 other ethnicities. Redlining happened, but how do we realistically correct that? I plan to read Thomas Sowell’s book Discrimination and Disparities that I think will tell me a little bit more about this concept. But if Cicely is going to make such strong political statements, she should probably support them with something more concrete. Otherwise it’s just another attempt to saturate the market with the mainstream narrative. To me, it takes away from the strength of her book.
Just As I Am
She said this title comes from the hymn with the same name, however she never quotes the hymn or refers to it in the book. I wish she would have brought elements of that into her story and bolstered that concept.
I think the title fits the book so well because she does not try to share her story to showcase her perfections. She is honest about the struggles of herself and her loved ones, even as she worries others will use it to try to prove stereotypes of black people. But this is her story and she will tell her truth. Just as she is.
Cicely Tyson was a strong woman who a lived a long life. Her portrayals of noble black women inspired so many and she truly did leave a legacy.
“I want to go home knowing that I loved generously, even if imperfectly. I want to feel as if I embodied our humanity so fully that it made us laugh and weep, that it reminded us of our shared frailties. I want to be recalled as one who squared my shoulders in the service of black women, as one who made us walk taller and envision greater for ourselves. I want to know that I did the very best that I could with what God gave me—just as I am.”
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[Nominated for ‘Best Memoir/Biography’ category of the 2021 Goodreads Choice Awards Reading Challenge]
“By nature and by choice, I was a wonderer and a wanderer. I still am.”
It’s possible I live under a rock because I had no idea who Cicely Tyson was. At least by name. Turns out I had seen her play Viola Davis’s character’s mother in the TV show How to Get Away with Murder. That was one of her latest roles among many apparently notable performances in things I have not seen.
Cicely Tyson died in January of last year right after this book was published.
She has written her memoir and aptly titled it, Just As I Am. She is independent and fierce, authentic and unapologetic. She holds to her convictions and works as hard as she needs to to accomplish what is before her. She is who she is and she won’t change who she is to make others comfortable; she won’t cover up the struggles that made her who she is.
She had always said she wasn’t going to write a memoir until she had something to say. And she did have quite a bit to say because it’s a pretty long book. I would say probably a smidge too long.
But here are the ups and downs of her last work here on earth:
Good Framework
When I opened the book and saw the table of contents I was excited to read the book.
Viola Davis (who plays Annelise in How to Get Away with Murder) gives the foreword, explaining how Cicely Tyson’s work and person planted a seed in Viola that grew to push her into acting.
“For six decades, Ms. Tyson has shown us who we are; vulnerable, magnificent, pain-ridden, and beautifully human. Time and time again, she has put our humanity on display, never compromising her dignity while creating a new chapter in Black history.”
The book is divided into three parts: Planted, Rooted, Bountiful.
Cicely gave a beautiful illustration of how she is like a Christmas tree, her achievements the ornaments and lights wrapping the branches. But there is far more to her than the baubles and lights:
“What I am far more interested in is how my tree, my story, first sprang into existence. How its roots, stretching far beneath the soil, have nourished and anchored me. How each tree ring whispers memories sometimes too troubling for me to recall. How its bark and rugged exterior have both guarded and grounded me… That foundation, that rich earth, has given birth to who I am. The thousands of lights adorning its branches disclose nothing about its path, about its nurturing and growth over the decades. Only when that tree is stripped of its embellishments does it bare its scars and shows its true nature.”
I love this concept! I think it’s a beautiful thing to reflect on if we were to imagine ourselves as trees— the seeds that were planted, the things that nourished us and grew us, the roots that establish us, the branches that stretch and shade and produce fruit. We may hide behind our decorations, but that’s not what makes us who we are.
So my first impression of this book was this powerful framework to set up how she would share with us her story.
Cicely is authentic and transparent in sharing her story. She truly strips down the garnishes and lays out the truth, hard truths that people usually keep hidden. I respect that about her. More on that later.
I will say that I was a little disappointed in the execution of this framework. I wish she would have come back to this illustration throughout each chapter to tie it all together. It felt a little disjointed to me and it was hard to trace which part of her ‘tree’ she was describing for us and how that influenced her life.
There were also so many names and references to things I had no clue about (same as Yes Please, Scrappy Little Nobody, and Mobituaries) so a lot of the book in that way didn’t mean much to me and felt boring to read.
Okay, I did know SOME of the names: her cousin played with Louis Armstrong; she is godmother to Lenny Kravitz and children of Tyler Perry and Denzel Washington; she’s bffs with Maya Angelou, MLK’s wife, Oprah, and James Earl Jones; Obama gave her the Medal of Freedom; she got married to Miles Davis at Bill Cosby’s house.
As with most celebrity memoirs that I read, a lot of the name-dropping and such feels a little braggy but they are celebrities and it makes sense that they would be well-connected in the celebrity circles. It’s clear that Cicely Tyson meant a lot to a lot of people!
Faith
A big, yet a little confusing, part of her memoir is her statements of faith and her devotion to the Lord. She describes herself as a church girl and says she will bow to nothing else except her Creator.
She also says,
“The same Master who holds the firmaments in the crease of his palms, who commands oceans to recede, who maintains humanity’s entire existence with the mist of his breath—that God, the Source of time itself, the Creator of all life, has forever been directing mine.”
“What God means for you to have, no one can take away from you. It’s already yours. Our mission, as God’s children, is to surrender to what he has ordained—and to freely let all else just pass us by.”
It is clear that her faith is important to her, that she is devoted to God and believes in his sovereignty and leading in her life.
The confusing part for me is the ‘sixth sense’ she says she has that led her to seek out a palm reader to understand her visions, and she doesn’t really talk about desiring others to be saved, especially with all the pain and drama surrounding her relationship with Miles Davis.
She also says this,
“The Spirit is ever beckoning us to heed that wisdom, to get on with what we’ve been put here to do. And whatever that calling looks like, however it may seemingly vary from one person or season to the next, at its core, it is simply this: cherish one another. That is all. That is our purpose in its entirety, to bestow God’s care onto others.”
This statement is partially true but it is borderline Therapeutic Moral Deism which is Christianity skewed into a belief that God just wants everyone to be nice to each other and we all just follow our hearts and do whatever feels right. Our purpose on earth is certainly not less than to bestow God’s care on others, but it is definitely more. We are here to glorify God. To love God and love others. But to cherish God’s truth and make disciples.
Miles Davis was a very troubled man who was addicted to drugs and womanizing. Cicely saw the same behavior in her own father yet ultimately, though she spent years avoiding him, she gave in to her attraction to Miles and subjected herself to years of pain and heartache before she eventually divorced him.
She claims this of their relationship:
“Relationships are knitted together by need. When two people connect, the purpose each is serving in the other’s life is what holds the union in place, keeps the ragged edges of its hemline sewn.”
She says Miles needed her to save him and she needed to be able to save him and care for him in ways she couldn’t do for her own father. I admire that she recognized this about herself and doesn’t necessarily claim it to be the right way to do a relationship, but she never voices how her faith plays into this.
She views herself as Davis’s savior instead of expressing a desire for him to know her true Savior, the only one who can really save him and change his heart. Maybe she shared the gospel with him and just doesn’t share that in her book. But it seems odd/sad to me that she would love him so much but not enough to try to save his tormented soul with the words of Life.
Plus a marriage founded on Christ is not knitted together by needs because Christ is the only thing that satisfies us. It is a mutual commitment to love and sacrifice for the other. Relationships held together by need are at their core selfish and are bound to fail.
I don’t want to review her memoir with judgment and I’ve probably already failed on that already. I don’t doubt that her faith in God is authentic and foundational to her life and career path, but I just wish I would have seen her share more of what drives her with others and especially in her relationship with Miles Davis.
Life Highlights
She shares about her parents’ upbringing in Nevis and their relationship in America. She is honest about her father’s failings and the ways her mother took care of her family.
She shares some of her defining moments as a black woman and ways she was taken advantage of.
She describes how she became pregnant at a young age and was forced to marry. She explains her struggles as a young mother and providing for her daughter, the choice to send her to boarding school and the ways that she is working to make up for the time she spent away from her daughter. It was crazy to me that she’s been able to keep her daughter’s life so private! I tried to google about her and couldn’t find anything beyond what she shares in this book.
She talks a lot about her roles as an actress. She turned down numerous roles because it was very important to her to only portray the best of black women.
She talks about Blaxploitation in the film industry that reinforces stereotypes or portrays black people, and in particular black women, in a negative light.
I admire that she stuck with her convictions on what she would play, even if it cost her jobs or popularity. She had a calling to raise up black women and remind the world about their fortitude, their resilience, the strength, and their humanity. And though I haven’t seen her body of work, it seems apparent that she more than accomplished that in her life.
“I was determined to do all I could to alter the narrative about Black people—to change the way Black women in particular were perceived, by reflecting our dignity.”
“Black women—our essence, our emotional intricacies, the indignities we carry in our bones—are the most deeply misunderstood human beings in history. Those who know nothing about us have had the audacity to try to introduce us to ourselves, in the unsteady strokes of caricature, on stages, in books, and through their distorted reflections of us… when we dare tiptoe outside the lines of those typecasts, when we put our full humanity on display, when we threaten the social constructs that keep others in comfortable superiority, we are often dismissed. There is no archetype on file in which a Black woman is simultaneously resolute and trembling, fierce and frightened, dominant and receding.”
Politics
The primary focus of this book is a memoir, yet she makes it clear that she intends to be a voice of strength in a particular political climate.
She was alive when MLK was assassinated. She experienced pay discrimination as a black woman. She has seen a lot.
I wanted to hear about her life and her own experience as a black woman in America during the time of the Civil Rights Movement. But she made some strong statements that seemed less about her own experience and more about promoting the mainstream narrative today about systemic racism and that white males are still trying to oppress black people— that our system was specifically designed for black oppression.
Even the fact that black is capitalized in her book and white is not is a strong statement. (Jemar Tisby did this as well in his book How to Fight Racism.) Whether that was Cicely’s decision or her co-author, I don’t know. I don’t deny there is still racism today and that there were practices in the past like redlining that were systematically racist, but I’ve done a lot of reading on this and I don’t buy into this entire narrative.
Here are some of Cicely’s quotes:
“The lie of Black inferiority was built right into America’s infrastructure, and to this day, that framework remains stubbornly intact.”
“It’s no wonder that many African Americans carry a lingering distrust of whites, even those we sincerely love and embrace. Given the horrors of our abuse in this nation, we are understandably wary. To ever heal this deep racial traumas—and seldom has it felt more urgent that we do—we must acknowledge that they indeed still exist, throbbing and tender beneath the surface, spilling over, like molten rage, into the streets… It is critical that we connect that centuries-long ugly history with, in our times now, a cop’s knee on George Floyd’s neck and bullets riddling Breonna Taylor’s body… even when the impulse arises to cringe and look away from a system predicated on Black oppression, a system that is still doing precisely what it was designed to do…”
I found it interesting that she brings up George Floyd and Breonna Taylor as the primary examples of racism in America. She even mentions that Breonna Taylor was shot in her bed while she slept. This is not true.
To me, she loses a little credibility when she has an entire lifetime of experiences to draw from yet she quotes these straight from the liberal script. It’s odd to me that everyone keeps holding up Floyd and Taylor as the primary and star examples of injustice and racism— if we’re looking at injustices done to innocent people by racist people, these examples are pretty far from that standard. I wish Cicely would have told us her own experiences and kept the political rhetoric— that is a lot of times based on incorrect or misleading reporting by the mainstream— out of her book.
(These books offer some good information and perspective on those topics: Fault Lines, Confronting Injustice without Compromising Truth, and Blackout.)
“So precarious has our financial position been that too many of us have been forced to choose between economic security and safety for our children.”
“When you know your history, you know your value. You know the price that has been paid for you to be here. You recognize what those who came before you built and sacrificed for you to inhabit the space in which you dwell.”
I don’t know if this is necessarily a political statement, but I feel like I want to challenge the idea that our history is what tells us our value. I think she is referring to the black race in general and all that they went through and that that provides black people with an incredible value because of what their ancestors endured to carry on. It’s definitely something momentous to remember and reflect on. But our value and worth is found in the fact that people of all races were created in the very image of God. It’s the sacrifice of Jesus to rescue us from our sin that tells us how valuable we are to our Creator. Our value and worth is bestowed on us in unconditional and perfect love outside of humanity’s efforts that always fall short.
Yes, we need to remember history and acknowledge the sacrifices of those who have gone before us. Yes, we need to remember history so that we do not repeat the failures of those before us. But sometimes I feel like we’re emphasizing the past too much when it comes to our identities. We are not defined by history. History shapes us, to be sure, but if we cling too much to the past, I feel like it hinders progress and it keeps us from moving forward. It keeps us from being truly unified in the body of Christ. There’s more to be considered here, but those are my initial thoughts.
“During a plague and a racial revolution, to be black is to be rendered deaf by the uproar, knowing that if this virus doesn’t take you down, a blue knee on your neck or bullets in your back just might. When you leave your house, you’re never quite sure whether you’ll make it back alive, and that is no exaggeration.”
“In our current times, I see the outcry as an opportunity for us to unite in action, to move from demonstration to legislation, from picketing to building economic parity.”
These are bold statements. Do black people really feel like every time they leave their house they are at risk to be killed? I cannot answer this question, but the word ‘never’ feels like an exaggeration.
She also wants to build to economic parity. But she doesn’t expound on what that means or what parity looks like. She mentions the wealth gap between whites and blacks but white people’s median household income falls behind 14 other ethnicities. Redlining happened, but how do we realistically correct that? I plan to read Thomas Sowell’s book Discrimination and Disparities that I think will tell me a little bit more about this concept. But if Cicely is going to make such strong political statements, she should probably support them with something more concrete. Otherwise it’s just another attempt to saturate the market with the mainstream narrative. To me, it takes away from the strength of her book.
Just As I Am
She said this title comes from the hymn with the same name, however she never quotes the hymn or refers to it in the book. I wish she would have brought elements of that into her story and bolstered that concept.
I think the title fits the book so well because she does not try to share her story to showcase her perfections. She is honest about the struggles of herself and her loved ones, even as she worries others will use it to try to prove stereotypes of black people. But this is her story and she will tell her truth. Just as she is.
Cicely Tyson was a strong woman who a lived a long life. Her portrayals of noble black women inspired so many and she truly did leave a legacy.
“I want to go home knowing that I loved generously, even if imperfectly. I want to feel as if I embodied our humanity so fully that it made us laugh and weep, that it reminded us of our shared frailties. I want to be recalled as one who squared my shoulders in the service of black women, as one who made us walk taller and envision greater for ourselves. I want to know that I did the very best that I could with what God gave me—just as I am.”
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I docked a star, not because I disagreed with any of the content but because it's a fairly long book that was a bit more academic than I thought it would be. Unfortunately, I think a lot of people are going to fail to finish it even though there is a lot of important information to be had in these pages. (Maybe my review can convince you to still give it a chance. or at least read the quotes I posted below) Carl Trueman is a historian and this book is him identifying historical figures and ideologies that have led to and influenced how people today view the 'self' and how that in turn has been expressed by the sexual revolution we see in today's culture.
Regardless of your views on how sexual identity should take form, I still believe this book is worth your time because it helps us identify areas of our thinking that are being influenced historically, culturally, emotionally, psychologically, and politically. And ironically, in a culture where the individual is king, our personal thinking is heavily influenced, rather- manipulated, by the masses. I don't know about you, but I'd like to do my own thinking and Trueman's book will at the very least help you become more aware of the potential 'why' you think the things you do.
I'd say one of the main points of the book is this: "The rise of the sexual revolution was predicated on fundamental changes in how the self is understood. The self must first be psychologized; psychology must then be sexualized; and sex must be politicized." And this is the path his book takes, following figures such as Charles Taylor, Paul Rieff, Marx, Rousseau, Freud, Nietzsche, Charles Darwin etc.
It follows: The uninfluenced self is inherently good and society is what corrupts a person or impedes their ability to be their pure selves (driven by feelings) by imposing their traditions, ethics, or the like. Sexual gratification and fulfillment is central to pleasure and what it means to be human. Religious constructs that limit sexual freedom cause repression of people's true identities. The traditional family unit is oppressive. Oppression is less about economics and legal standing and more about psychological victimhood- hate speech, microaggressions, etc which is more subjective.
The sexual revolution he is referring to is "the radical and ongoing transformation of sexual attitudes and behaviors that has occurred in the West since the early 1960s." For example: the normalizing of homosexuality, sex outside of marriage, pornography, and transgenderism.
Why is this important? Well, first and foremost, as Christians, it matters to us because sexual immorality has no place in a life devoted to the Lord and the things listed above go against what the Bible teaches us about sex, self, and natural law. Secondly, it matters because the politicization of normalizing these behaviors has spurred the heavy policing of language and the labeling of dissenters as irrational, hateful bigots- and if it hasn't affected your life yet, it will soon. It could affect your ability to do business or find a job, or infringe on your rights to free speech (could not using the 'proper' gender pronoun be considered a hate crime?). We've seen this just recently as Target removed from its shelves "Irreversible Damage," a book discussing the trend of transgenderism in young girls, because a few people said they were offended by it. It was not a hateful book, but we're seeing more and more the 'canceling' of anything contrary to the highly politicized narrative pushed in our culture today.
Even though Trueman is a Christian, this book is not a study in theology on the issue and isn't even necessarily a persuasion against homosexuality or transgenderism. Per the title, it's tracing the rise and acceptance of how we view the self which directly affects the role of 'sexual identity' within that construct. The very last chapter of this long book addresses Christians, but most of the book is an objective, academic, and historical discourse. And frankly, he does not give Christians a 'pass' on all things sexual- he is very critical of the no-fault divorce law, pornography, and sexual promiscuity that Christians are not immune from.
So what does it mean to be a 'self'? Trueman states that it involves the purpose or meaning of your life and "what constitutes the good life" as well as how you understand yourself in relation to others around you. Today, where does one derive the meaning and happiness from their life?
To answer this question, Trueman references Charles Taylor and his term expressive individualism, meaning "that each of us finds our meaning by giving expression to our own feelings and desires." There has been a shift to making our feelings the ultimate authority. There has been a divorcing of morality and identity from a moral structure/authority- or historically speaking what Trueman calls a 'sacred order.' This creates the view that institutions, religions, culture, and even parents are inhibiting people's ability to be their "authentic" selves: "That which hinders my outward expression of my inner feelings—that which challenges or attempts to falsify my psychological beliefs about myself and thus to disturb my sense of inner wellbeing—is by definition harmful and to be rejected. And that means that traditional institutions must be transformed to conform to the psychological self, not vice versa." The term 'therapeutic morality' applies here. Do whatever feels right; live your own truth, what's true for you isn't true for someone else etc. He also talks about the philosophy of Nietzsche that says we are to create ourselves and invent our own meaning.
Sex is another thing that has become centralized to 'self.' He writes: "While sex may be presented today as little more than a recreational activity, sexuality is presented as that which lies at the very heart of what it means to be an authentic person. " This can be traced back to Freud, even though much of his work is largely discredited, this ideology has still woven it's way through the years into our culture.
I found interesting his point that recognition is also an integral point of identity. It is not enough to just know in our minds who we are- we desire to be publicly recognized in the way we see ourselves. He applies this to the LGBTQ+ movement in their seeking for full equality under the law and full recognition to the extent that, for example, they must be able to not just buy a wedding cake from somewhere, but they must be able to buy a wedding cake at every possible baker in order to feel like their identity is fully legitimized. It was also interesting to recognize that the LGBTQ movement as a whole can't reconcile with the ideology of feminism.
Issues of identity are wrapped up in ideas of authenticity, language, recognition, value, and belonging- which are inextricably linked to one's interaction with the community around them. There is much to be unpacked within each of these concepts and Trueman acknowledges that a lot of this discussion goes beyond the scope of his book, but I think he does an excellent job giving a somewhat bird's eye view of this historical context of the modern self.
I hope you read it for yourself. Trueman makes some really interesting connections. If you choose to dive it, I would highly recommend reading the kindle version. There is a lot of jargon and I was very thankful I had it on kindle so I could highlight words and get the definitions of words I didn't know (i.e. Social imaginary, individual expressivism, emotivism, metaphysical, polemic, poiesis, mimesis, etc.) The downside of the kindle version was navigating through all the footnotes. I was reading an advanced reader's copy so I would assume the formatting would be corrected in the published version but for me the footnotes were printed within the text, usually even interrupting mid-sentence. And it was only printed in a slightly smaller font size so it was really tough differentiating where the footnotes stopped. Hopefully the published version makes the footnote numbers hyperlinks to the footnote at the end of the book because there are A LOT of them- it was a highly researched book. Another note on reading it- I mentioned before that it's pretty dense and sometimes I found myself skipping sections because I wasn't willing to concentrate hard enough to figure out what point he was trying to make. Don't read while you're tired! But to his credit, he does include a 'conclusion' at the end of each chapter that sums up what he just covered and those were easier to follow. And though I highly encourage you read it all, if you just absolutely can't handle it, at the very least, just skip ahead to the last 30% or so. The writing gets a bit more accessible.
Because another review included some quotes (some out of context) I'd like to also share some snippets from the book. There is a lot to mull over here:
"Few, if any of us, are likely to argue that our own moral views are simply based on our emotional preferences. But... seems today to offer a good way of understanding how most people actually live their lives. “It just feels right,”...and... once the basis for such discussion lacks any agreed metaphysical or metanarratival framework, it is doomed to degenerate into nothing more than the assertion of incommensurable opinions and preferences...When it comes to moral arguments, the tendency of the present age is to assert our moral convictions as normative and correct by rejecting those with which we disagree as irrational prejudice rooted in personal, emotional preference. That is precisely what underlies the ever-increasing number of words ending in -phobia... "
"we need to understand that our sense of selfhood, of who we are, is both intuitive and deeply intertwined with the expectations, ethical and otherwise, of the society in which we are placed. The desire to be recognized, to be accepted, to belong is a deep and perennial human need, and no individual sets the terms of that recognition or belonging all by himself. To be a self is to be in a dialogical relationship with other selves and thus with the wider social context."
"The intuitive moral structure of our modern social imaginary prioritizes victimhood, sees selfhood in psychological terms, regards traditional sexual codes as oppressive and life denying, and places a premium on the individual’s right to define his or her own existence."
"This is an important point: culture directs individuals outward. It is greater than, prior to, and formative of the individual. We learn who we are by learning how to conform ourselves to the purposes of the larger community to which we belong."
"That it is the inner voice, freed from any and all external influences—even from chromosomes and the primary sexual characteristics of the physical body—that shapes identity for the transgender person is a position consistent with Rousseau’s idea that personal authenticity is rooted in the notion that nature, free from heteronomous cultural constraints, and selfhood, conceived of as inner psychological conviction, are the real guides to true identity."
"the refusal by any individual to recognize an identity that society at large recognizes as legitimate is [deemed] a moral offense, not simply a matter of indifference. The question of identity in the modern world is a question of dignity."
"...dignity is itself an inference from the Christian teaching that all human beings are made in the image of God. But in our current climate, this universal dignity has come to be psychologized, and the granting of dignity has come to be equated with the affirmation of those psychologized identities that enjoy special status in our culture."
"[Reich's definition of abuse] is a psychological one, specifically one rooted in a highly sexualized psychology. Freud has here been used to transform the classic understanding of oppression, one understood in material terms regarding the well-being of the body, to one that really focuses on the well-being of the mind. And once oppression becomes primarily psychological, it also becomes somewhat arbitrary and subjective...This affects everything, from reasoning in Supreme Court cases to ethics to campus politics and beyond."
"Sexual identity politics might be a good example, whereby sex outside the ideal of monogamous heterosexual marriage has always occurred but has only recently become much easier to transact... The way this occurred is fairly simple to discern: first, there was the promiscuous behavior; then there was the technology to facilitate it, in the form of contraception and antibiotics; and, as technology enabled the sexually promiscuous to avoid the natural consequences of their actions (unwanted pregnancies, disease), so those rationales that justified the behavior became more plausible (and arguments against it became less so), and therefore the behavior itself became more acceptable."
"the sexual revolution ultimately has one great goal, the destruction of the family. It makes sense, of course, for the family is the primary means by which values are transmitted from generation to generation. "
"Setting aside the question of its origins and “sourcing,” we should also note that pornography has deeper social significance. From this perspective, the question whether depicted in pornographic pictures and films have consented to such things is irrelevant to the message that is being communicated. Fantasy worlds left unchecked have a habit of impinging on reality and remaking it in their own image. And that applies as much, if not more, in the realm of sexuality as it does in any other area. "
"Raymond’s feminist concern here is that transgenderism essentially depoliticizes the matter of being a woman.41 Being a woman is now something that can be produced by a technique—literally prescribed by a doctor. The pain, the struggle, and the history of oppression that shape what it means to be a woman in society are thus trivialized and rendered irrelevant. More to the point, this depoliticization is clear from the fact that transgenderism still operates within the gender stereotypes generated by patriarchal society."
"What might seem to be a unified community (LGBTQ) to those on the outside is actually a phenomenon that is the product more of its various constituent elements sharing common ideological and political enemies than of any strong internal coherence. It is also clear that its drive to inclusion ironically involves significant elements of exclusion—for example, those who affirm the normative nature of heterosexuality and those feminists who consider the female body to be decisive for their identity."
See more of my reviews at www.shelfreflection.com!
Regardless of your views on how sexual identity should take form, I still believe this book is worth your time because it helps us identify areas of our thinking that are being influenced historically, culturally, emotionally, psychologically, and politically. And ironically, in a culture where the individual is king, our personal thinking is heavily influenced, rather- manipulated, by the masses. I don't know about you, but I'd like to do my own thinking and Trueman's book will at the very least help you become more aware of the potential 'why' you think the things you do.
I'd say one of the main points of the book is this: "The rise of the sexual revolution was predicated on fundamental changes in how the self is understood. The self must first be psychologized; psychology must then be sexualized; and sex must be politicized." And this is the path his book takes, following figures such as Charles Taylor, Paul Rieff, Marx, Rousseau, Freud, Nietzsche, Charles Darwin etc.
It follows: The uninfluenced self is inherently good and society is what corrupts a person or impedes their ability to be their pure selves (driven by feelings) by imposing their traditions, ethics, or the like. Sexual gratification and fulfillment is central to pleasure and what it means to be human. Religious constructs that limit sexual freedom cause repression of people's true identities. The traditional family unit is oppressive. Oppression is less about economics and legal standing and more about psychological victimhood- hate speech, microaggressions, etc which is more subjective.
The sexual revolution he is referring to is "the radical and ongoing transformation of sexual attitudes and behaviors that has occurred in the West since the early 1960s." For example: the normalizing of homosexuality, sex outside of marriage, pornography, and transgenderism.
Why is this important? Well, first and foremost, as Christians, it matters to us because sexual immorality has no place in a life devoted to the Lord and the things listed above go against what the Bible teaches us about sex, self, and natural law. Secondly, it matters because the politicization of normalizing these behaviors has spurred the heavy policing of language and the labeling of dissenters as irrational, hateful bigots- and if it hasn't affected your life yet, it will soon. It could affect your ability to do business or find a job, or infringe on your rights to free speech (could not using the 'proper' gender pronoun be considered a hate crime?). We've seen this just recently as Target removed from its shelves "Irreversible Damage," a book discussing the trend of transgenderism in young girls, because a few people said they were offended by it. It was not a hateful book, but we're seeing more and more the 'canceling' of anything contrary to the highly politicized narrative pushed in our culture today.
Even though Trueman is a Christian, this book is not a study in theology on the issue and isn't even necessarily a persuasion against homosexuality or transgenderism. Per the title, it's tracing the rise and acceptance of how we view the self which directly affects the role of 'sexual identity' within that construct. The very last chapter of this long book addresses Christians, but most of the book is an objective, academic, and historical discourse. And frankly, he does not give Christians a 'pass' on all things sexual- he is very critical of the no-fault divorce law, pornography, and sexual promiscuity that Christians are not immune from.
So what does it mean to be a 'self'? Trueman states that it involves the purpose or meaning of your life and "what constitutes the good life" as well as how you understand yourself in relation to others around you. Today, where does one derive the meaning and happiness from their life?
To answer this question, Trueman references Charles Taylor and his term expressive individualism, meaning "that each of us finds our meaning by giving expression to our own feelings and desires." There has been a shift to making our feelings the ultimate authority. There has been a divorcing of morality and identity from a moral structure/authority- or historically speaking what Trueman calls a 'sacred order.' This creates the view that institutions, religions, culture, and even parents are inhibiting people's ability to be their "authentic" selves: "That which hinders my outward expression of my inner feelings—that which challenges or attempts to falsify my psychological beliefs about myself and thus to disturb my sense of inner wellbeing—is by definition harmful and to be rejected. And that means that traditional institutions must be transformed to conform to the psychological self, not vice versa." The term 'therapeutic morality' applies here. Do whatever feels right; live your own truth, what's true for you isn't true for someone else etc. He also talks about the philosophy of Nietzsche that says we are to create ourselves and invent our own meaning.
Sex is another thing that has become centralized to 'self.' He writes: "While sex may be presented today as little more than a recreational activity, sexuality is presented as that which lies at the very heart of what it means to be an authentic person. " This can be traced back to Freud, even though much of his work is largely discredited, this ideology has still woven it's way through the years into our culture.
I found interesting his point that recognition is also an integral point of identity. It is not enough to just know in our minds who we are- we desire to be publicly recognized in the way we see ourselves. He applies this to the LGBTQ+ movement in their seeking for full equality under the law and full recognition to the extent that, for example, they must be able to not just buy a wedding cake from somewhere, but they must be able to buy a wedding cake at every possible baker in order to feel like their identity is fully legitimized. It was also interesting to recognize that the LGBTQ movement as a whole can't reconcile with the ideology of feminism.
Issues of identity are wrapped up in ideas of authenticity, language, recognition, value, and belonging- which are inextricably linked to one's interaction with the community around them. There is much to be unpacked within each of these concepts and Trueman acknowledges that a lot of this discussion goes beyond the scope of his book, but I think he does an excellent job giving a somewhat bird's eye view of this historical context of the modern self.
I hope you read it for yourself. Trueman makes some really interesting connections. If you choose to dive it, I would highly recommend reading the kindle version. There is a lot of jargon and I was very thankful I had it on kindle so I could highlight words and get the definitions of words I didn't know (i.e. Social imaginary, individual expressivism, emotivism, metaphysical, polemic, poiesis, mimesis, etc.) The downside of the kindle version was navigating through all the footnotes. I was reading an advanced reader's copy so I would assume the formatting would be corrected in the published version but for me the footnotes were printed within the text, usually even interrupting mid-sentence. And it was only printed in a slightly smaller font size so it was really tough differentiating where the footnotes stopped. Hopefully the published version makes the footnote numbers hyperlinks to the footnote at the end of the book because there are A LOT of them- it was a highly researched book. Another note on reading it- I mentioned before that it's pretty dense and sometimes I found myself skipping sections because I wasn't willing to concentrate hard enough to figure out what point he was trying to make. Don't read while you're tired! But to his credit, he does include a 'conclusion' at the end of each chapter that sums up what he just covered and those were easier to follow. And though I highly encourage you read it all, if you just absolutely can't handle it, at the very least, just skip ahead to the last 30% or so. The writing gets a bit more accessible.
Because another review included some quotes (some out of context) I'd like to also share some snippets from the book. There is a lot to mull over here:
"Few, if any of us, are likely to argue that our own moral views are simply based on our emotional preferences. But... seems today to offer a good way of understanding how most people actually live their lives. “It just feels right,”...and... once the basis for such discussion lacks any agreed metaphysical or metanarratival framework, it is doomed to degenerate into nothing more than the assertion of incommensurable opinions and preferences...When it comes to moral arguments, the tendency of the present age is to assert our moral convictions as normative and correct by rejecting those with which we disagree as irrational prejudice rooted in personal, emotional preference. That is precisely what underlies the ever-increasing number of words ending in -phobia... "
"we need to understand that our sense of selfhood, of who we are, is both intuitive and deeply intertwined with the expectations, ethical and otherwise, of the society in which we are placed. The desire to be recognized, to be accepted, to belong is a deep and perennial human need, and no individual sets the terms of that recognition or belonging all by himself. To be a self is to be in a dialogical relationship with other selves and thus with the wider social context."
"The intuitive moral structure of our modern social imaginary prioritizes victimhood, sees selfhood in psychological terms, regards traditional sexual codes as oppressive and life denying, and places a premium on the individual’s right to define his or her own existence."
"This is an important point: culture directs individuals outward. It is greater than, prior to, and formative of the individual. We learn who we are by learning how to conform ourselves to the purposes of the larger community to which we belong."
"That it is the inner voice, freed from any and all external influences—even from chromosomes and the primary sexual characteristics of the physical body—that shapes identity for the transgender person is a position consistent with Rousseau’s idea that personal authenticity is rooted in the notion that nature, free from heteronomous cultural constraints, and selfhood, conceived of as inner psychological conviction, are the real guides to true identity."
"the refusal by any individual to recognize an identity that society at large recognizes as legitimate is [deemed] a moral offense, not simply a matter of indifference. The question of identity in the modern world is a question of dignity."
"...dignity is itself an inference from the Christian teaching that all human beings are made in the image of God. But in our current climate, this universal dignity has come to be psychologized, and the granting of dignity has come to be equated with the affirmation of those psychologized identities that enjoy special status in our culture."
"[Reich's definition of abuse] is a psychological one, specifically one rooted in a highly sexualized psychology. Freud has here been used to transform the classic understanding of oppression, one understood in material terms regarding the well-being of the body, to one that really focuses on the well-being of the mind. And once oppression becomes primarily psychological, it also becomes somewhat arbitrary and subjective...This affects everything, from reasoning in Supreme Court cases to ethics to campus politics and beyond."
"Sexual identity politics might be a good example, whereby sex outside the ideal of monogamous heterosexual marriage has always occurred but has only recently become much easier to transact... The way this occurred is fairly simple to discern: first, there was the promiscuous behavior; then there was the technology to facilitate it, in the form of contraception and antibiotics; and, as technology enabled the sexually promiscuous to avoid the natural consequences of their actions (unwanted pregnancies, disease), so those rationales that justified the behavior became more plausible (and arguments against it became less so), and therefore the behavior itself became more acceptable."
"the sexual revolution ultimately has one great goal, the destruction of the family. It makes sense, of course, for the family is the primary means by which values are transmitted from generation to generation. "
"Setting aside the question of its origins and “sourcing,” we should also note that pornography has deeper social significance. From this perspective, the question whether depicted in pornographic pictures and films have consented to such things is irrelevant to the message that is being communicated. Fantasy worlds left unchecked have a habit of impinging on reality and remaking it in their own image. And that applies as much, if not more, in the realm of sexuality as it does in any other area. "
"Raymond’s feminist concern here is that transgenderism essentially depoliticizes the matter of being a woman.41 Being a woman is now something that can be produced by a technique—literally prescribed by a doctor. The pain, the struggle, and the history of oppression that shape what it means to be a woman in society are thus trivialized and rendered irrelevant. More to the point, this depoliticization is clear from the fact that transgenderism still operates within the gender stereotypes generated by patriarchal society."
"What might seem to be a unified community (LGBTQ) to those on the outside is actually a phenomenon that is the product more of its various constituent elements sharing common ideological and political enemies than of any strong internal coherence. It is also clear that its drive to inclusion ironically involves significant elements of exclusion—for example, those who affirm the normative nature of heterosexuality and those feminists who consider the female body to be decisive for their identity."
See more of my reviews at www.shelfreflection.com!
[Nominated for ‘Best Graphic Novels/Comics’ category of the 2021 Goodreads Choice Awards Reading Challenge]
I’ve never read the original book. I saw the movie and really liked it, but then I saw how long the book was and so far I’ve chickened out. I saw this on the Goodreads Choice Awards and decided it was a lot more doable for me right now!
You tell me— is the novel worth my time?!
If you’ve never heard the term ‘graphic novel’, it has to do with the format not with the content. A graphic novel combines illustrations and text (like comic books) and are usually standalone novels or adaptations of other books.
A graphic novel does not mean the images are sexually or violently graphic. (Yes, I used to think this until I did a Popsugar reading challenge 7 years ago and bravely looked it up— not on my work computer).
The only other graphic novel I’ve read is Blankets so I have very little to compare this book to.
People who read a lot of graphic novels can comment more on the quality or style of the pictures. People who have read the Dune book can comment on whether the adaptation did the book justice and included enough of/the right scenes and information.
I don’t have much to contribute to that conversation. Why are you even reading my review?
But, since you’re here….
I enjoyed reading a book with pictures for a change!
If you have not read the book or seen the movie I’m not sure you’ll understand what is happening in the graphic novel. To be honest, I watched the movie in theaters and between then and now I felt like I forgot everything. With all the lingo and various characters, unless you’re very familiar with the story or have seen the movie and use your memory for more than just the lyrics to the Encanto soundtrack, then it will take a little time to get your bearings.
Some reviewers have said the graphic novel contained too much text. But if it had any less text I would have been completely lost.
They try to clarify inner thoughts from verbal dialogue by the various shape and colors of the text box. Each character gets their own color. They also try to label the locations and the characters. These are helpful things to know BEFORE you’ve already read 30 pages. *raises hand*
If you’re already lost reading my review, here’s the Goodreads summary: “Dune, Frank Herbert’s epic science-fiction masterpiece set in the far future amidst a sprawling feudal interstellar society, tells the story of Paul Atreides as he and his family accept control of the desert planet Arrakis. A stunning blend of adventure and mysticism, environmentalism, and politics, Dune is a powerful, fantastical tale that takes an unprecedented look into our universe…”
Arrakis is a desert planet where water is so scarce the natives wear special suits to conserve the water released from their body (yes that means tears, sweat, and pee but I think they have filtration technology *fingers crossed*). Arrakis is also home to a very special and desirable spice, called The Spice. (If the entire planet was women like the Amazons I’d have a really good band name for them…)
Of course everyone and their mom wants to control and benefit from the manufacturing and selling of the spice. And some of the players in this political chess match are ruthless. As far as I can tell the House of Atreides are pretty decent people who want to help the natives of Arrakis get out from under the thumb of the evil Harkonnens. But there is a traitor among the Atreides and the royal family is in danger.
Death, chaos, and war ensues and the battle for Arrakis has begun.
Also Paul, the main dude, is learning special powers from his mom who is some sort of superhero for a secret guild of powerful women (not the Amazons) who use The Voice (not The Force or Blake Shelton) to control and manipulate people. So there’s that.
And that’s all I can tell you. Either because I don’t remember enough or because it would be spoilers. I’ll let you decide.
So is this pretty much the best information you could read about this book? Yes. And Dune’t you forget it.
If you’ve never read a graphic novel, you should give this one a try! It will leave you on a cliffhanger though and the second (of the three) doesn’t come out until July. Blast!
But who cares? The book has pictures!
Wanna see some?
Click HERE to see my original blog post with some pictures of inside the book!
Book Review Blog | Facebook | Pinterest
I’ve never read the original book. I saw the movie and really liked it, but then I saw how long the book was and so far I’ve chickened out. I saw this on the Goodreads Choice Awards and decided it was a lot more doable for me right now!
You tell me— is the novel worth my time?!
If you’ve never heard the term ‘graphic novel’, it has to do with the format not with the content. A graphic novel combines illustrations and text (like comic books) and are usually standalone novels or adaptations of other books.
A graphic novel does not mean the images are sexually or violently graphic. (Yes, I used to think this until I did a Popsugar reading challenge 7 years ago and bravely looked it up— not on my work computer).
The only other graphic novel I’ve read is Blankets so I have very little to compare this book to.
People who read a lot of graphic novels can comment more on the quality or style of the pictures. People who have read the Dune book can comment on whether the adaptation did the book justice and included enough of/the right scenes and information.
I don’t have much to contribute to that conversation. Why are you even reading my review?
But, since you’re here….
I enjoyed reading a book with pictures for a change!
If you have not read the book or seen the movie I’m not sure you’ll understand what is happening in the graphic novel. To be honest, I watched the movie in theaters and between then and now I felt like I forgot everything. With all the lingo and various characters, unless you’re very familiar with the story or have seen the movie and use your memory for more than just the lyrics to the Encanto soundtrack, then it will take a little time to get your bearings.
Some reviewers have said the graphic novel contained too much text. But if it had any less text I would have been completely lost.
They try to clarify inner thoughts from verbal dialogue by the various shape and colors of the text box. Each character gets their own color. They also try to label the locations and the characters. These are helpful things to know BEFORE you’ve already read 30 pages. *raises hand*
If you’re already lost reading my review, here’s the Goodreads summary: “Dune, Frank Herbert’s epic science-fiction masterpiece set in the far future amidst a sprawling feudal interstellar society, tells the story of Paul Atreides as he and his family accept control of the desert planet Arrakis. A stunning blend of adventure and mysticism, environmentalism, and politics, Dune is a powerful, fantastical tale that takes an unprecedented look into our universe…”
Arrakis is a desert planet where water is so scarce the natives wear special suits to conserve the water released from their body (yes that means tears, sweat, and pee but I think they have filtration technology *fingers crossed*). Arrakis is also home to a very special and desirable spice, called The Spice. (If the entire planet was women like the Amazons I’d have a really good band name for them…)
Of course everyone and their mom wants to control and benefit from the manufacturing and selling of the spice. And some of the players in this political chess match are ruthless. As far as I can tell the House of Atreides are pretty decent people who want to help the natives of Arrakis get out from under the thumb of the evil Harkonnens. But there is a traitor among the Atreides and the royal family is in danger.
Death, chaos, and war ensues and the battle for Arrakis has begun.
Also Paul, the main dude, is learning special powers from his mom who is some sort of superhero for a secret guild of powerful women (not the Amazons) who use The Voice (not The Force or Blake Shelton) to control and manipulate people. So there’s that.
And that’s all I can tell you. Either because I don’t remember enough or because it would be spoilers. I’ll let you decide.
So is this pretty much the best information you could read about this book? Yes. And Dune’t you forget it.
If you’ve never read a graphic novel, you should give this one a try! It will leave you on a cliffhanger though and the second (of the three) doesn’t come out until July. Blast!
But who cares? The book has pictures!
Wanna see some?
Click HERE to see my original blog post with some pictures of inside the book!
Book Review Blog | Facebook | Pinterest
[Nominated for ‘Best Mystery/Thriller’ category of the 2021 Goodreads Choice Awards Reading Challenge]
“We all secretly hope that tragedy will only ever happen to other people. But Marianna knew, sooner or later, it happens to you.”
Just as with Michaelides’ debut novel, The Silent Patient, this book has some polarizing views. People either loved the thriller and his nod to Agatha Christie’s red herrings, or people felt it had too many suspects and was too unbelievable.
I read the book very fast. It was a quick and very suspenseful read and I was engaged throughout the whole story. When I finished I felt like I liked it. I had my suspicions about how he was going to reveal the killer but the motive behind the killings was the main twist and I didn’t have that figured out at all!
I realized it’s one of those books that you enjoy but when you start talking to others or reading other reviews, you realize they make some good points and you feel like the book is a little less praiseworthy because of them.
Brief Plot Summary
Marianna, still grieving her husband who drowned a year ago, is a group therapist. She gets a phone call from her orphaned niece— Zoe—, whom they had taken in as their own, and is studying at Cambridge. Marianna’s roommate, Tara, has been brutally murdered.
Marianna rushes to her niece’s side and the two become convinced that the killer is the Greek tragedies professor, Edward Fosca. When the police think Marianna is just weirdly prejudiced against him and don’t take her theories seriously— after all, Fosca has an alibi— Marianna takes it upon herself to prove that Fosca murdered her niece’s friend.
But the danger isn’t gone. Over the next few days two more girls are found similarly murdered in a ritualistic way, each receiving Greek postcards with lines from Greek plays talking about death and sacrifices. Marianna and Zoe both receive one and they must decide whether to get back to the safety of London or continue their quest for justice.
I think we all know what they choose.
Sidenote- the book is called The Maidens because all of the murdered girls were part of a secret (not-so-secret) ‘club’ of some kind that flocked around their tutor, Fosca, who had named them his maidens. And they just so happened to also be Fosca’s alibi for Tara’s murder.
The book alternates between Marianna and excerpts from a letter or journal entry supposedly from the killer that sporadically gives us some clues as to who the killer is.
It’s All Greek to Me
As with Michaelides’ first novel, he incorporates Greek mythology into this book as well.
Marianna’s husband, Sebastian, died when they were on holiday to a Greek island. They were trying to grow their family and needed some relaxation. They picnicked at a Greek temple dedicated to the goddess of harvest and life, Demeter, and her daughter, Persephone, the goddess of death. Marianna says a quick prayer to the statues in hopes they will bless them with health and life. But she regrets this when instead of life, more death enters her life. Sebastian disappears that day. His body washes up on the shore days later.
These two goddesses, Demeter and Persephone, come back into the story as Marianna digs deeper into the teachings of Fosca’s class:
Persephone means ‘maiden.’
One of the quotes in the Greek postcards found among the victims’ belongings reads, “In order to defeat the enemy and save the city… a maiden must be sacrificed— a maiden of noble birth. Sacrificed to Persephone.”
Is it coincidence? Does Fosca know what happened to her and Sebastian? Is this all in her head? What is the connection?
Surprise Appearance
Fans of The Silent Patient will be curious to know that there is a small crossover of characters in this story. Readers wonder if Michaelides’ third book might be a greater crossover in storyline… only time will tell.
Analysis and Questions
I like that Michaelides includes red herrings. But I agree that it might be too many if the potential suspects get no resolution as to why they ‘fit the profile.’
For example, I thought for sure it would be Fred. Especially since the ‘killer’s letter’ contained the statement that the writer had a ‘premonition.’ That’s not a common thing for people to say and Fred was very verbal about his premonitions. Plus he had some weird obsession with Marianna and happened to be on the train with her?
My theory is that it was Fred who wrote the letter, Zoe made up the story about Sebastian, and Fred and Zoe had a connection. I don’t think I’m right based on how it ends. But if I’m wrong, I don’t feel like we got a good enough explanation for Fred’s role in all of it or some of the things he said/knew and the ways he was acting.
I found the inclusion of Henry to be a little extra. He is the ‘problem’ person in her group therapy back in London who is possessive of her and stalks her at home, saying he ‘needs her.’ He tells her later that Marianna ‘sacrificed him’ by leaving London for so long— that she wasn’t there for him. This is connected to the ‘letter’ sections of the story where the writer is angry that his mother sacrifices him by not stopping the torment he experienced from his father.
Henry shows up at Cambridge with a knife and threatens Marianna. This felt jarring and random. Especially because we don’t hear anything more about it. We just hear that Marianna realizes she needs to handle that matter and get it under control when she gets back. I didn’t feel like this red herring was particularly effective or necessary.
A few other things that I question or that went unexplained were:
- What happened to the other pages of the letter? Marianna finds only part of it in Zoe’s room, but there was some missing.
- How did Marianna not realize what was happening between Sebastian and Zoe? Especially as a therapist you would think she would recognize something off about their relationship. I think Michaelides tries to account for this by including the thread in the story of Marianna’s relationship with her own father and how she was blinded by love for him and thought his abuse was what love was.
- Her therapist tells her: “At best, let’s call it a desire to be loved. At worst, it’s a pathological attachment to a narcissistic man: a melting pot of gratitude, fear, expectation, and dutiful obedience that has nothing to do with love in the true sense of the word. You don’t love him. Nor do you know or love yourself.”
- She had a hard time criticizing her father, so it would make sense that she wouldn’t recognize Sebastian for what he was because she looked at him as she did her father. I’m still processing if that’s a satisfying enough answer.
- Marianna finds these Greek postcards but she doesn’t turn them into the police right away? They seem pretty significant because it talks about sacrifice and the murders were ritualistic. Sure the police told her to stop interfering with the investigation but I feel like the connection to the postcards would be hard to deny.
- Also Marianna is convinced that it’s Fosca who committed the murders, yet she agrees to go eat dinner with him— in his rooms— without telling anyone. And also she drinks several things while with him. This seems like Stupid 101. You’re going to drink something a suspected killer gives you?? C’mon lady!
- The letter references that the writer feels ‘split’ like he wants the evil part of him to go away. This seems like a significant aspect of the story and determining who the killer is, but I felt like they never fleshed that out. We never see this ‘splitness’ in action. I guess it was just included to create the backstory for what corrupted the person and caused them to do evil things?
- What we find out about Zoe does seem a little far-fetched. That she would be capable of what she did seems abrupt and shocking.
- Apparently the references to Persephone and the day Sebastian died is coincidental because we never find out why Fosca was teaching those things at that time. It seems weird that there was no different connection to the murders. Just some random Greek stuff?
There were two other quotes near the beginning of the book that I found foreboding and seemed to be somewhat foreshadowing. I think these quotes would be interesting to consider if you were reading this book as part of a book club.
“She was still in love and didn’t know what to do with all this love of hers. There was so much of it, and it was so messy: leaking, spilling, tumbling out of her, like stuffing falling out of an old rag doll that was coming apart at the seams.”
The words ‘messy,’ ‘leaking,’ ‘spilling,’ and ‘old rag doll’ that’s ‘coming apart’ all seem negative. Not like the bursting and overflowing of intimate and intense love but a damaged, dysfunctional, and out of control kind of love. The negative connotations here are a sign of their relationship.
“They had forgotten to bring a knife—so Sebastian smashed the watermelon against a rock like a skull, breaking it into bits. They ate the sweet flesh, spitting out the bony seeds.”
This is an ominous description of eating a watermelon. A smashed skull, eating flesh, and bony seeds. The fact that Sebastian did the smashing is telling, but also Marianna participated in the aftermath so that’s something interesting to reflect on. Michaelides intentionally wrote this scene with this grotesque sense of murder in the simple act of eating the fruit so it seems significant to understanding Marianna and Sebastian’s relationship and what was about to happen.
Conclusion
So where does all of this leave us? Like I said, I can understand the questions or comments from people who gave the book 1-2 star reviews. But personally, as I was reading the story, I enjoyed it. I wanted to figure it out and felt like it wasn’t annoyingly predictable.
Sure there were questions and unexplained things. It’s not a perfect book. But if you like whodunnits and thrillers, I think you’ll enjoy it.
There is always some sort of suspending reality for the sake of a story that happens. I don’t feel like what Michaelides wrote goes out of acceptable bounds. And the parts that were left unanswered or explained may be something people like about the books.
I’m discovering more and more that I’m the type of person who likes answers, not open-ended books and movies. Tell me what happened! But my husband likes some mystery and open endings, so if that’s you then you may like it even more than I did!
I definitely don’t think it deserves 1-2 star ratings. Probably floating around the 3.5-4.5 mark depending on your preferences and how many of these kinds of books you read.
Parental Advisory: There are some f-words (mostly from the youths), a brief scene of a tryst between a student and an adult but nothing graphic, and the main twist is a bit disturbing but it’s not described in detail.
And of course… the section I reserve for new British words that I learned while reading this book:
freshers- British slang for students at first year of university (there’s no slang term for the other years, I checked.)
bedder- housekeeper at Cambridge University (can you imagine going to college and having someone who comes and makes your bed and empties your trash? my fresher roommate probably would have appreciated that for my side of our room…)
high table- the table in the dining hall on a platform reserved for important people
buttery- a room where food is stored and sold to students (not just butter. that would be a lot of butter.)
staying in college- the phrasing of this one is weird. Someone asks Marianna where she is staying that night. Instead of saying she’s ‘staying at the college’ or ‘in the college,’ they don’t use the word ‘the.’ I just think that’s strange.
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“We all secretly hope that tragedy will only ever happen to other people. But Marianna knew, sooner or later, it happens to you.”
Just as with Michaelides’ debut novel, The Silent Patient, this book has some polarizing views. People either loved the thriller and his nod to Agatha Christie’s red herrings, or people felt it had too many suspects and was too unbelievable.
I read the book very fast. It was a quick and very suspenseful read and I was engaged throughout the whole story. When I finished I felt like I liked it. I had my suspicions about how he was going to reveal the killer but the motive behind the killings was the main twist and I didn’t have that figured out at all!
I realized it’s one of those books that you enjoy but when you start talking to others or reading other reviews, you realize they make some good points and you feel like the book is a little less praiseworthy because of them.
Brief Plot Summary
Marianna, still grieving her husband who drowned a year ago, is a group therapist. She gets a phone call from her orphaned niece— Zoe—, whom they had taken in as their own, and is studying at Cambridge. Marianna’s roommate, Tara, has been brutally murdered.
Marianna rushes to her niece’s side and the two become convinced that the killer is the Greek tragedies professor, Edward Fosca. When the police think Marianna is just weirdly prejudiced against him and don’t take her theories seriously— after all, Fosca has an alibi— Marianna takes it upon herself to prove that Fosca murdered her niece’s friend.
But the danger isn’t gone. Over the next few days two more girls are found similarly murdered in a ritualistic way, each receiving Greek postcards with lines from Greek plays talking about death and sacrifices. Marianna and Zoe both receive one and they must decide whether to get back to the safety of London or continue their quest for justice.
I think we all know what they choose.
Sidenote- the book is called The Maidens because all of the murdered girls were part of a secret (not-so-secret) ‘club’ of some kind that flocked around their tutor, Fosca, who had named them his maidens. And they just so happened to also be Fosca’s alibi for Tara’s murder.
The book alternates between Marianna and excerpts from a letter or journal entry supposedly from the killer that sporadically gives us some clues as to who the killer is.
It’s All Greek to Me
As with Michaelides’ first novel, he incorporates Greek mythology into this book as well.
Marianna’s husband, Sebastian, died when they were on holiday to a Greek island. They were trying to grow their family and needed some relaxation. They picnicked at a Greek temple dedicated to the goddess of harvest and life, Demeter, and her daughter, Persephone, the goddess of death. Marianna says a quick prayer to the statues in hopes they will bless them with health and life. But she regrets this when instead of life, more death enters her life. Sebastian disappears that day. His body washes up on the shore days later.
These two goddesses, Demeter and Persephone, come back into the story as Marianna digs deeper into the teachings of Fosca’s class:
Persephone means ‘maiden.’
One of the quotes in the Greek postcards found among the victims’ belongings reads, “In order to defeat the enemy and save the city… a maiden must be sacrificed— a maiden of noble birth. Sacrificed to Persephone.”
Is it coincidence? Does Fosca know what happened to her and Sebastian? Is this all in her head? What is the connection?
Surprise Appearance
Fans of The Silent Patient will be curious to know that there is a small crossover of characters in this story. Readers wonder if Michaelides’ third book might be a greater crossover in storyline… only time will tell.
Analysis and Questions
Spoiler
I like that Michaelides includes red herrings. But I agree that it might be too many if the potential suspects get no resolution as to why they ‘fit the profile.’
For example, I thought for sure it would be Fred. Especially since the ‘killer’s letter’ contained the statement that the writer had a ‘premonition.’ That’s not a common thing for people to say and Fred was very verbal about his premonitions. Plus he had some weird obsession with Marianna and happened to be on the train with her?
My theory is that it was Fred who wrote the letter, Zoe made up the story about Sebastian, and Fred and Zoe had a connection. I don’t think I’m right based on how it ends. But if I’m wrong, I don’t feel like we got a good enough explanation for Fred’s role in all of it or some of the things he said/knew and the ways he was acting.
I found the inclusion of Henry to be a little extra. He is the ‘problem’ person in her group therapy back in London who is possessive of her and stalks her at home, saying he ‘needs her.’ He tells her later that Marianna ‘sacrificed him’ by leaving London for so long— that she wasn’t there for him. This is connected to the ‘letter’ sections of the story where the writer is angry that his mother sacrifices him by not stopping the torment he experienced from his father.
Henry shows up at Cambridge with a knife and threatens Marianna. This felt jarring and random. Especially because we don’t hear anything more about it. We just hear that Marianna realizes she needs to handle that matter and get it under control when she gets back. I didn’t feel like this red herring was particularly effective or necessary.
A few other things that I question or that went unexplained were:
- What happened to the other pages of the letter? Marianna finds only part of it in Zoe’s room, but there was some missing.
- How did Marianna not realize what was happening between Sebastian and Zoe? Especially as a therapist you would think she would recognize something off about their relationship. I think Michaelides tries to account for this by including the thread in the story of Marianna’s relationship with her own father and how she was blinded by love for him and thought his abuse was what love was.
- Her therapist tells her: “At best, let’s call it a desire to be loved. At worst, it’s a pathological attachment to a narcissistic man: a melting pot of gratitude, fear, expectation, and dutiful obedience that has nothing to do with love in the true sense of the word. You don’t love him. Nor do you know or love yourself.”
- She had a hard time criticizing her father, so it would make sense that she wouldn’t recognize Sebastian for what he was because she looked at him as she did her father. I’m still processing if that’s a satisfying enough answer.
- Marianna finds these Greek postcards but she doesn’t turn them into the police right away? They seem pretty significant because it talks about sacrifice and the murders were ritualistic. Sure the police told her to stop interfering with the investigation but I feel like the connection to the postcards would be hard to deny.
- Also Marianna is convinced that it’s Fosca who committed the murders, yet she agrees to go eat dinner with him— in his rooms— without telling anyone. And also she drinks several things while with him. This seems like Stupid 101. You’re going to drink something a suspected killer gives you?? C’mon lady!
- The letter references that the writer feels ‘split’ like he wants the evil part of him to go away. This seems like a significant aspect of the story and determining who the killer is, but I felt like they never fleshed that out. We never see this ‘splitness’ in action. I guess it was just included to create the backstory for what corrupted the person and caused them to do evil things?
- What we find out about Zoe does seem a little far-fetched. That she would be capable of what she did seems abrupt and shocking.
- Apparently the references to Persephone and the day Sebastian died is coincidental because we never find out why Fosca was teaching those things at that time. It seems weird that there was no different connection to the murders. Just some random Greek stuff?
There were two other quotes near the beginning of the book that I found foreboding and seemed to be somewhat foreshadowing. I think these quotes would be interesting to consider if you were reading this book as part of a book club.
“She was still in love and didn’t know what to do with all this love of hers. There was so much of it, and it was so messy: leaking, spilling, tumbling out of her, like stuffing falling out of an old rag doll that was coming apart at the seams.”
The words ‘messy,’ ‘leaking,’ ‘spilling,’ and ‘old rag doll’ that’s ‘coming apart’ all seem negative. Not like the bursting and overflowing of intimate and intense love but a damaged, dysfunctional, and out of control kind of love. The negative connotations here are a sign of their relationship.
“They had forgotten to bring a knife—so Sebastian smashed the watermelon against a rock like a skull, breaking it into bits. They ate the sweet flesh, spitting out the bony seeds.”
This is an ominous description of eating a watermelon. A smashed skull, eating flesh, and bony seeds. The fact that Sebastian did the smashing is telling, but also Marianna participated in the aftermath so that’s something interesting to reflect on. Michaelides intentionally wrote this scene with this grotesque sense of murder in the simple act of eating the fruit so it seems significant to understanding Marianna and Sebastian’s relationship and what was about to happen.
Conclusion
So where does all of this leave us? Like I said, I can understand the questions or comments from people who gave the book 1-2 star reviews. But personally, as I was reading the story, I enjoyed it. I wanted to figure it out and felt like it wasn’t annoyingly predictable.
Sure there were questions and unexplained things. It’s not a perfect book. But if you like whodunnits and thrillers, I think you’ll enjoy it.
There is always some sort of suspending reality for the sake of a story that happens. I don’t feel like what Michaelides wrote goes out of acceptable bounds. And the parts that were left unanswered or explained may be something people like about the books.
I’m discovering more and more that I’m the type of person who likes answers, not open-ended books and movies. Tell me what happened! But my husband likes some mystery and open endings, so if that’s you then you may like it even more than I did!
I definitely don’t think it deserves 1-2 star ratings. Probably floating around the 3.5-4.5 mark depending on your preferences and how many of these kinds of books you read.
Parental Advisory: There are some f-words (mostly from the youths), a brief scene of a tryst between a student and an adult but nothing graphic, and the main twist is a bit disturbing but it’s not described in detail.
And of course… the section I reserve for new British words that I learned while reading this book:
freshers- British slang for students at first year of university (there’s no slang term for the other years, I checked.)
bedder- housekeeper at Cambridge University (can you imagine going to college and having someone who comes and makes your bed and empties your trash? my fresher roommate probably would have appreciated that for my side of our room…)
high table- the table in the dining hall on a platform reserved for important people
buttery- a room where food is stored and sold to students (not just butter. that would be a lot of butter.)
staying in college- the phrasing of this one is weird. Someone asks Marianna where she is staying that night. Instead of saying she’s ‘staying at the college’ or ‘in the college,’ they don’t use the word ‘the.’ I just think that’s strange.
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“You, and your words, are significant and necessary for the building up of his church… We build up the body of Christ by reminding one another who Christ is and what he’s done for us.”
This is a short, practical book on how to come alongside our loved ones and speak truth in times of struggle.
“We titled this book When Words Matter Most because we believe there are crucial moments in each of our lives when what is heard and believed makes all the difference in the world. When we’re burdened with worry, weariness, sin, or sorrow, we have a choice to build our lives either on the rock of God’s word or the sand of human wisdom. That choice has real consequences.”
This book is concise and full of Scripture. The core of speaking truth with grace is being willing to do it, understanding God’s Word, and having an attitude of humility and compassion.
‘When Words Matter Most’ provides a helpful resource to guide our conversations and provides sections we can even read verbatim to our friends to offer biblical encouragement.
At the end of the preface they included a prayer for the person reading this book. There wasn’t anything particularly profound in the prayer but it was genuine and reading it really touched me. I feel like just reading their prayer for me over myself was calming and encouraging and could be something I do each time I use this book to talk with my family and friends.
It is evident that the authors are writing from experience and compassionate hearts.
Part One
Part One focuses on how God calls us to speak truth and grace and what those two things mean. This is one way we build up and take care of the Lord’s church— carrying one another’s burdens.
Where does this grace come from? From where does the hope come that we offer others? Both of these are sourced in Christ whose grace and mercy gives us life. We love because he first loved us. We can be gracious because we live in the grace of Christ. We can give hope because the hope of the cross is eternal and sufficient.
As we come alongside hurting people we humble ourselves knowing that all of us are sinful, all of us need a Savior, and the power for change and healing is not in us or our words but the power of Christ in us and working through us as we share Truth.
There is a section talking about different kinds of believers that have trouble accepting God’s truth (withdrawn, angry, defensive, struggling, rebellious) and how we can respond biblically.
“Love at the expense of truth isn’t love.”
If we are going to speak truth, we’re going to need to know what truth is. There is a section the authors spend a little time talking about Scripture and its sufficiency, clarity, authority, and necessity. They remind us how truth has the power to transform us.
Scripture sanctifies, wisens, encourages, fortifies, and brings blessings into our lives.
Part Two
Part Two focuses on four kinds of struggles our loved ones might be going through and provides a few Bible passages for each circumstance and how we can pull out gospel truths and communicate these to our people, even if we are reading them straight from the book.
They discuss:
- Truth for the Worried (Matt 6:25-34; Phil 4:4-9; Ps 27:1-14; Ps 34)
- Truth for the Weary (Isa 40:27-31; 2 Cor 4:7-18; 2 Cor 12:7-10; Ps 71)
- Truth for the Wayward (Prov 3:5-8; Gal 5:16-25; 2 Cor 7: 9-11; Ps 32:1-11; 2 Cor 2:14-17)
- Truth for the Weeping (Ps 13:1-6; Lam 3:19-26, 55-58; 2 Cor 1:3-5; Ps 40)
The Truth for the Weary section is where I am personally, and I found it to be really encouraging. Not only is this book to help us encourage others, but we can pray these truths over ourselves too.
A small caveat, but I wish they would have elaborated when they talked about serving others. They gave some examples but as a mother of four children under 6 I am not sure what that looks like for me. I know I can’t always be the one to serve and that even though my life is hectic I can still find ways to serve, but I can barely make meals for my own family let alone others and get it to them on time. I can’t really go anywhere without either taking my kids or hiring a babysitter. I want to be able to serve, but I could use some ideas of how people at my life stage can serve in ways that actually help people and not add my chaos to their lives.
One thing they mentioned that I had not heard before was the origin of the hymn ‘What a Friend We Have in Jesus.’ This is a song sung to me as a child and one I sing to my kids now, too. The writer of that song had a life full of tragedy. By the age of 25 he had lost two fiances to tragic accidents. His mother also suffered illness.
Yet, amidst the worry, the weariness, and the weeping, he penned these words:
“What a friend we have in Jesus
All our sins and griefs to bear
What a privilege to carry
Everything to God in prayer
Oh what peace we often forfeit!
Oh, what needless pain we bear
All because we do not carry
Everything to God in prayer
Have we trials and temptations
Is there trouble anywhere
We should never be discouraged
Take it to the Lord in prayer
Can we find a friend so faithful
Who will all our sorrows share?
Jesus knows our every weakness
Take it to the Lord in prayer
Are we weak and heavy-laden,
Cumbered with a load of care?
Precious Savior, still our refuge
Take it to the Lord in prayer
Do thy friends despise, forsake thee?
Take it to the Lord in prayer
In His arms He’ll take and shield thee
Thou wilt find a solace there”
I hadn’t really reflected on these words before. They remind us— Jesus is our Friend and there is power in prayer. We can strive to be the best friends we can be for others, but the truest friend there is is Christ. And he is waiting for us to come to him and find rest for our weary, heavy-laden, and weeping souls.
The best thing we can do for our loved ones is to point them to the ultimate Friend.
“Our confidence to speak truth with grace to one another is rooted in knowing that God is present, powerful, and faithful to his promises.”
“Jesus is the one who saves and sanctifies his people, and that was never a weight intended for you to carry. You can’t rescue anyone, but Christ can. You can’t change anyone, but Christ can. You don’t have the power to produce spiritual life and transformation in those you love, but you can have every confidence that Christ does.”
More Quotes:
“We can provide spiritual help by listening (Prov. 18:13), sympathizing (Rom. 12:15), giving encouragement (Eph. 4:29), and interceding for others, praying that they’ll receive mercy and grace in their time of need (Heb. 4:16).”
“In times of trouble, we all need constant reminders of what we know is true about God, just like the psalmist who repeatedly asked himself, “Why are you in despair, oh my soul? And why have you become disturbed within me?” Each time, he reassured his own faint heart with the same words of encouragement: “Hope in God, for I shall again praise him, my salvation and my God” (Ps. 42:5, 11; 43:5).”
“It may be tempting to simply give unbelievers advice to help their lives run more smoothly, but offering principles for life without the hope and power of the gospel won’t give them relief from their heaviest burden—the burden of sin and its condemnation. Beware of providing unbelievers with only temporary solutions that ignore the spiritual realities in their lives.”
“If she sins, speak of God’s forgiveness. If she fails, speak of God’s mercy. If she doubts, speak of God’s faithfulness. If she suffers, speak of God’s lovingkindness. And if she hurts or offends you, remember that as God has been gracious to you in your salvation, you must also be gracious to her—especially when you speak.”
“As you grow in understanding and appreciating the grace of God in your own life—especially as you meditate on his grace in your salvation, sanctification, and glorification—your speech will become more grace filled. Your words will become more loving, and you will find yourself speaking freely of the grace of God.”
“If you’re honest with the Lord and yourself about your own struggles and shortcomings, then you won’t be shocked, judgmental, or easily offended when a friend shares her sin and failures with you. To respond with humility, own the fact that you’re a sinner as well (Rom. 3:23). You both need the same Savior.”
“You can’t tell the Lord how to care for you, but you can trust that he always will. Wait for him to work in your life, believing that you’ll see the goodness of the Lord. As you wait for and remind yourself how trustworthy he is, the Lord will give you strength and courage to persevere. Let the knowledge of his goodness toward you dispel your worry and fill you with a steadfast faith.”
“You can do whatever God calls you to do—persevere in suffering, walk in obedience, be content in every circumstance—with the help he gives. The Lord will fill your weakness with power and your weariness with endurance. When you lack strength, his grace will increase in you all the more…”
“though you may agree with what he says is good, don’t fall into the trap of believing your sinful choices are better for you because of the circumstances in which you find yourself.”
“He’ll redeem what has been lost and broken in your life and use it to display his glory in you. And in this there’s great joy—the joy of forgiveness, the joy of righteousness, the joy of life in Christ. Praise him for his steadfast love!”
“Your role in the lives of those who weep isn’t to be their sole comforter; your role is to direct them to the Comforter of their souls.”
“He’s the ultimate source of every true act of comfort. He’s the hand behind the friend who helps you, the truth behind the song that calms you, the Creator behind the nature that refreshes you, and the giver behind every gift that blesses you. His Spirit applies his word to your heart like a soothing balm, and he pours his peace into your soul like a cool river in a parched land. No affliction enters your life that doesn’t have a corresponding comfort from the Lord.”
Four Books Quoted in When Words Matter Most:
- How Long O Lord?: Reflections on Suffering and Evil by D.A. Carson
- Taking God at His Word: Why the Bible is Knowable, Necessary, and Enough, and What that Means for You and Me by Kevin DeYoung
- Dark Clouds, Deep Mercy: Discovering the Grace of Lament by Mark Vroegop
- Women of the Word: How to Study the Bible with Both Our Hearts and Our Minds by Jen WIlkin
Other Relevant Books:
- Calm My Anxious Heart by Linda Dillow
- Gentle and Lowly: The Heart of Christ for Sinners and Sufferers by Dane Ortlund
- Becoming a Woman Whose God is Enough by Cynthia Heald
- Cultivating Compassion: Practical Advice as You Walk a Friend Through a Season of Loss by Lynne Hoeksema
- The Honest Griever: Truths God Teaches on the Journey from Pain to Purpose by Lynne Hoeksema
- Where I End: A Story of Tragedy, Truth, and Rebellious Hope by Katherine Elizabeth Clark
- You Who?: Why You Matter and How to Deal With It by Rachel Jankovic
- Suffering Wisely and Well: The Grief of Job and the Grace of God by Eric Ortlund
- It’s Not Supposed to Be This Way: Finding Unexpected Strength When Disappointments Leave You Shattered by Lysa TerKeurst
- Fierce Faith: A Woman’s Guide to Fighting Fear, Wrestling Worry, and Overcoming Anxiety by Alli Worthington
**Received an ARC via NetGalley**
[Check out the original blog post for some quote memes to share]
Book Review Blog | Facebook | Pinterest
This is a short, practical book on how to come alongside our loved ones and speak truth in times of struggle.
“We titled this book When Words Matter Most because we believe there are crucial moments in each of our lives when what is heard and believed makes all the difference in the world. When we’re burdened with worry, weariness, sin, or sorrow, we have a choice to build our lives either on the rock of God’s word or the sand of human wisdom. That choice has real consequences.”
This book is concise and full of Scripture. The core of speaking truth with grace is being willing to do it, understanding God’s Word, and having an attitude of humility and compassion.
‘When Words Matter Most’ provides a helpful resource to guide our conversations and provides sections we can even read verbatim to our friends to offer biblical encouragement.
At the end of the preface they included a prayer for the person reading this book. There wasn’t anything particularly profound in the prayer but it was genuine and reading it really touched me. I feel like just reading their prayer for me over myself was calming and encouraging and could be something I do each time I use this book to talk with my family and friends.
It is evident that the authors are writing from experience and compassionate hearts.
Part One
Part One focuses on how God calls us to speak truth and grace and what those two things mean. This is one way we build up and take care of the Lord’s church— carrying one another’s burdens.
Where does this grace come from? From where does the hope come that we offer others? Both of these are sourced in Christ whose grace and mercy gives us life. We love because he first loved us. We can be gracious because we live in the grace of Christ. We can give hope because the hope of the cross is eternal and sufficient.
As we come alongside hurting people we humble ourselves knowing that all of us are sinful, all of us need a Savior, and the power for change and healing is not in us or our words but the power of Christ in us and working through us as we share Truth.
There is a section talking about different kinds of believers that have trouble accepting God’s truth (withdrawn, angry, defensive, struggling, rebellious) and how we can respond biblically.
“Love at the expense of truth isn’t love.”
If we are going to speak truth, we’re going to need to know what truth is. There is a section the authors spend a little time talking about Scripture and its sufficiency, clarity, authority, and necessity. They remind us how truth has the power to transform us.
Scripture sanctifies, wisens, encourages, fortifies, and brings blessings into our lives.
Part Two
Part Two focuses on four kinds of struggles our loved ones might be going through and provides a few Bible passages for each circumstance and how we can pull out gospel truths and communicate these to our people, even if we are reading them straight from the book.
They discuss:
- Truth for the Worried (Matt 6:25-34; Phil 4:4-9; Ps 27:1-14; Ps 34)
- Truth for the Weary (Isa 40:27-31; 2 Cor 4:7-18; 2 Cor 12:7-10; Ps 71)
- Truth for the Wayward (Prov 3:5-8; Gal 5:16-25; 2 Cor 7: 9-11; Ps 32:1-11; 2 Cor 2:14-17)
- Truth for the Weeping (Ps 13:1-6; Lam 3:19-26, 55-58; 2 Cor 1:3-5; Ps 40)
The Truth for the Weary section is where I am personally, and I found it to be really encouraging. Not only is this book to help us encourage others, but we can pray these truths over ourselves too.
A small caveat, but I wish they would have elaborated when they talked about serving others. They gave some examples but as a mother of four children under 6 I am not sure what that looks like for me. I know I can’t always be the one to serve and that even though my life is hectic I can still find ways to serve, but I can barely make meals for my own family let alone others and get it to them on time. I can’t really go anywhere without either taking my kids or hiring a babysitter. I want to be able to serve, but I could use some ideas of how people at my life stage can serve in ways that actually help people and not add my chaos to their lives.
One thing they mentioned that I had not heard before was the origin of the hymn ‘What a Friend We Have in Jesus.’ This is a song sung to me as a child and one I sing to my kids now, too. The writer of that song had a life full of tragedy. By the age of 25 he had lost two fiances to tragic accidents. His mother also suffered illness.
Yet, amidst the worry, the weariness, and the weeping, he penned these words:
“What a friend we have in Jesus
All our sins and griefs to bear
What a privilege to carry
Everything to God in prayer
Oh what peace we often forfeit!
Oh, what needless pain we bear
All because we do not carry
Everything to God in prayer
Have we trials and temptations
Is there trouble anywhere
We should never be discouraged
Take it to the Lord in prayer
Can we find a friend so faithful
Who will all our sorrows share?
Jesus knows our every weakness
Take it to the Lord in prayer
Are we weak and heavy-laden,
Cumbered with a load of care?
Precious Savior, still our refuge
Take it to the Lord in prayer
Do thy friends despise, forsake thee?
Take it to the Lord in prayer
In His arms He’ll take and shield thee
Thou wilt find a solace there”
I hadn’t really reflected on these words before. They remind us— Jesus is our Friend and there is power in prayer. We can strive to be the best friends we can be for others, but the truest friend there is is Christ. And he is waiting for us to come to him and find rest for our weary, heavy-laden, and weeping souls.
The best thing we can do for our loved ones is to point them to the ultimate Friend.
“Our confidence to speak truth with grace to one another is rooted in knowing that God is present, powerful, and faithful to his promises.”
“Jesus is the one who saves and sanctifies his people, and that was never a weight intended for you to carry. You can’t rescue anyone, but Christ can. You can’t change anyone, but Christ can. You don’t have the power to produce spiritual life and transformation in those you love, but you can have every confidence that Christ does.”
More Quotes:
“We can provide spiritual help by listening (Prov. 18:13), sympathizing (Rom. 12:15), giving encouragement (Eph. 4:29), and interceding for others, praying that they’ll receive mercy and grace in their time of need (Heb. 4:16).”
“In times of trouble, we all need constant reminders of what we know is true about God, just like the psalmist who repeatedly asked himself, “Why are you in despair, oh my soul? And why have you become disturbed within me?” Each time, he reassured his own faint heart with the same words of encouragement: “Hope in God, for I shall again praise him, my salvation and my God” (Ps. 42:5, 11; 43:5).”
“It may be tempting to simply give unbelievers advice to help their lives run more smoothly, but offering principles for life without the hope and power of the gospel won’t give them relief from their heaviest burden—the burden of sin and its condemnation. Beware of providing unbelievers with only temporary solutions that ignore the spiritual realities in their lives.”
“If she sins, speak of God’s forgiveness. If she fails, speak of God’s mercy. If she doubts, speak of God’s faithfulness. If she suffers, speak of God’s lovingkindness. And if she hurts or offends you, remember that as God has been gracious to you in your salvation, you must also be gracious to her—especially when you speak.”
“As you grow in understanding and appreciating the grace of God in your own life—especially as you meditate on his grace in your salvation, sanctification, and glorification—your speech will become more grace filled. Your words will become more loving, and you will find yourself speaking freely of the grace of God.”
“If you’re honest with the Lord and yourself about your own struggles and shortcomings, then you won’t be shocked, judgmental, or easily offended when a friend shares her sin and failures with you. To respond with humility, own the fact that you’re a sinner as well (Rom. 3:23). You both need the same Savior.”
“You can’t tell the Lord how to care for you, but you can trust that he always will. Wait for him to work in your life, believing that you’ll see the goodness of the Lord. As you wait for and remind yourself how trustworthy he is, the Lord will give you strength and courage to persevere. Let the knowledge of his goodness toward you dispel your worry and fill you with a steadfast faith.”
“You can do whatever God calls you to do—persevere in suffering, walk in obedience, be content in every circumstance—with the help he gives. The Lord will fill your weakness with power and your weariness with endurance. When you lack strength, his grace will increase in you all the more…”
“though you may agree with what he says is good, don’t fall into the trap of believing your sinful choices are better for you because of the circumstances in which you find yourself.”
“He’ll redeem what has been lost and broken in your life and use it to display his glory in you. And in this there’s great joy—the joy of forgiveness, the joy of righteousness, the joy of life in Christ. Praise him for his steadfast love!”
“Your role in the lives of those who weep isn’t to be their sole comforter; your role is to direct them to the Comforter of their souls.”
“He’s the ultimate source of every true act of comfort. He’s the hand behind the friend who helps you, the truth behind the song that calms you, the Creator behind the nature that refreshes you, and the giver behind every gift that blesses you. His Spirit applies his word to your heart like a soothing balm, and he pours his peace into your soul like a cool river in a parched land. No affliction enters your life that doesn’t have a corresponding comfort from the Lord.”
Four Books Quoted in When Words Matter Most:
- How Long O Lord?: Reflections on Suffering and Evil by D.A. Carson
- Taking God at His Word: Why the Bible is Knowable, Necessary, and Enough, and What that Means for You and Me by Kevin DeYoung
- Dark Clouds, Deep Mercy: Discovering the Grace of Lament by Mark Vroegop
- Women of the Word: How to Study the Bible with Both Our Hearts and Our Minds by Jen WIlkin
Other Relevant Books:
- Calm My Anxious Heart by Linda Dillow
- Gentle and Lowly: The Heart of Christ for Sinners and Sufferers by Dane Ortlund
- Becoming a Woman Whose God is Enough by Cynthia Heald
- Cultivating Compassion: Practical Advice as You Walk a Friend Through a Season of Loss by Lynne Hoeksema
- The Honest Griever: Truths God Teaches on the Journey from Pain to Purpose by Lynne Hoeksema
- Where I End: A Story of Tragedy, Truth, and Rebellious Hope by Katherine Elizabeth Clark
- You Who?: Why You Matter and How to Deal With It by Rachel Jankovic
- Suffering Wisely and Well: The Grief of Job and the Grace of God by Eric Ortlund
- It’s Not Supposed to Be This Way: Finding Unexpected Strength When Disappointments Leave You Shattered by Lysa TerKeurst
- Fierce Faith: A Woman’s Guide to Fighting Fear, Wrestling Worry, and Overcoming Anxiety by Alli Worthington
**Received an ARC via NetGalley**
[Check out the original blog post for some quote memes to share]
Book Review Blog | Facebook | Pinterest
(3.5 rounded up because just because I didn't understand a lot of it doesn't mean it's a bad book-- depends on his audience)
This is a high-level, very academic book about various theories of atonement.
Hojin Ahn, a native Korean, is a Reformed Pastor in Canada and this book is his published doctoral thesis.
To be honest, when I started this book I felt like I was dropped in the deep end. I had really only heard of penal substitution. Ahn gets right into it and offers critiques of several theologians’ beliefs on aspects of the atonement. Paired with the high-level vocabulary, this was a dense and time-consuming read.
I’m not sure who Ahn’s target audience was. I would say it is geared toward people passionate about studying this doctrine, who already have a foundational knowledge of various perspectives, and/or people in academia.
If his target audience was the average layperson, he missed the mark. I feel like I have decent vocabulary and theological knowledge, but if I didn’t have a digital copy of the book where I could look words up easily, I’m not sure if I would have made it through the book. I still feel like so much of it went over my head. Google was my friend with this book.
The main question at the heart of this book is to address people’s feelings toward the crucifixion. Some view Christ’s death on the cross as violent, even as child abuse by God the Father. How could God be a good and sovereign God if he allowed or ordained his own Son to be brutally murdered? Either he isn’t good or he couldn’t stop it. Both of these conclusions are wrong and a further study of this doctrine will illuminate true biblical atonement rooted in God’s love and sovereignty.
“This book has pursued a constructively critical conversation between nonviolent and substitutionary perspectives on atonement for the purpose of reflecting theological motifs and Christological implications.”
Ahn does a good job of considering the good and the problematic with each theory of atonement, offering commendation and critique wherever needed.
As you study the variety of motifs you realize that there is not one perfect view necessarily. There is a lot of overlap and it’s a lot of being aware of when the theologian over-emphasizes one aspect of the atonement at the expense of another and how that view then influences their perspective of the person or character of God.
“In this book, I suggest a holistic viewpoint of atonement that critically incorporates elements of both traditional substitutionary theories, with their emphasis on the reconciliation between God and sinful humankind, and contemporary nonviolent theories, with their emphasis on the disclosure of structural evil by Jesus’ life and death.”
The atonement is not a simple doctrine— volumes (like this) have been written about it.
The atonement is the death and resurrection of Christ on the cross as a payment for our sins and reconciling us to a holy God.
The core of understanding this doctrine in light of God’s true character and power requires the atonement to account for Jesus paying the penalty of our sin— a perfect sacrifice— that only he could do as fully God and fully man. It requires the acknowledgement of the triune nature of God— that Jesus was not separated from the Father and the Spirit on the cross. God did not punish an innocent person for our sins— as the triune God he took the punishment for our sins upon himself. It requires that no one ‘took’ Jesus’ life from him— he laid it down willingly in obedience to the Father. It requires the acknowledgement that in dying on the cross and resurrecting, Jesus defeated Satan and sin. (And there’s probably more I’m leaving out)
To give you an idea of some of the theories Ahn considers in his book, here is a short, summarized list: (and I’m still learning this information so if there are errors here, that is on my own misunderstanding…)
- Ransom to Satan: this theory views the atonement as a payment to Satan to release humans from his bondage. But our sin is an offense to a holy God and it is to reconcile our relationship with God that Jesus paid the penalty of our sin
- Christus Victor: this theory focuses on Jesus defeating Satan and evil
- Moral Influence: this theory views the atonement as a mere example of Jesus showing us how to life sacrificiously and that seeing the depth of his love would move us to repentance. But this denies our guilt in our sin and the necessity of a payment for that sin that we could never make. Though it does give us an example of sacrificial love, the atonement must have significant purpose beyond mere example or it would be unjust violence.
- Feminist: (I’m not sure the exact title of this argument) this theory talks about patriarchal… things. Ahn says, “Brock’s intrapersonal analysis reveals broken-heartedness as the destructive result of patriarchal evil.”
- Satisfaction: this theory views God requiring retribution in order to maintain his honor and the hierarchy of his power. Though our sin is against his holiness, this theory doesn’t account for God’s love in paying the price of our sin.
- Penal Substitution: this theory views the atonement as a ‘vicarious, substitutionary sacrifice that satisfied the demands of God’s justice upon sin.’ It acknowledges that Christ’s sacrifice paid for our sin, brought us forgiveness, and gave us Christ’s righteousness, reconciling us to God.
Key terms involved with this discussion include: ransom, redemption, propitiation, substitutionary, voluntary, and example.
Some of the key people that Ahn critiques are Anselm, Barth, Calvin, Schwager, Brock, and Weaver.
This book definitely challenged me. I liked learning more about this doctrine and understanding the importance of having a biblical belief of this doctrine. I do wish, though, that Ahn would have written this book more simply and accessible so that all might stick with the intensity and gain more understanding instead of confusion. I also wish he would have included more Scriptural basis for his commendations and his critiques.
I liked this quote from John Stott that Ahn included:
“We must not then speak of God punishing Jesus or of Jesus persuading God, for to do is to set them over against each other as if they acted independently of each other or were even in conflict with each other. We must never make Christ the object of God’s punishment or God the object of Christ’s persuasion, for both God and Christ were subjects not objects, taking the initiative together to save sinners . . . The Father did not lay on the Son an ordeal he was reluctant to bear, nor did the Son extract from the Father a salvation he was reluctant to bestow. There is no suspicion anywhere in the New Testament of discord between the Father and the Son.”
This came from Stott’s book The Cross of Christ which I plan to read this year as well.
If you’re up for the challenge this book will give you a lot to think about regarding the theories of atonement, but I would venture to guess that you will also need to seek out other resources as you study this essential doctrine.
This is a high-level, very academic book about various theories of atonement.
Hojin Ahn, a native Korean, is a Reformed Pastor in Canada and this book is his published doctoral thesis.
To be honest, when I started this book I felt like I was dropped in the deep end. I had really only heard of penal substitution. Ahn gets right into it and offers critiques of several theologians’ beliefs on aspects of the atonement. Paired with the high-level vocabulary, this was a dense and time-consuming read.
I’m not sure who Ahn’s target audience was. I would say it is geared toward people passionate about studying this doctrine, who already have a foundational knowledge of various perspectives, and/or people in academia.
If his target audience was the average layperson, he missed the mark. I feel like I have decent vocabulary and theological knowledge, but if I didn’t have a digital copy of the book where I could look words up easily, I’m not sure if I would have made it through the book. I still feel like so much of it went over my head. Google was my friend with this book.
The main question at the heart of this book is to address people’s feelings toward the crucifixion. Some view Christ’s death on the cross as violent, even as child abuse by God the Father. How could God be a good and sovereign God if he allowed or ordained his own Son to be brutally murdered? Either he isn’t good or he couldn’t stop it. Both of these conclusions are wrong and a further study of this doctrine will illuminate true biblical atonement rooted in God’s love and sovereignty.
“This book has pursued a constructively critical conversation between nonviolent and substitutionary perspectives on atonement for the purpose of reflecting theological motifs and Christological implications.”
Ahn does a good job of considering the good and the problematic with each theory of atonement, offering commendation and critique wherever needed.
As you study the variety of motifs you realize that there is not one perfect view necessarily. There is a lot of overlap and it’s a lot of being aware of when the theologian over-emphasizes one aspect of the atonement at the expense of another and how that view then influences their perspective of the person or character of God.
“In this book, I suggest a holistic viewpoint of atonement that critically incorporates elements of both traditional substitutionary theories, with their emphasis on the reconciliation between God and sinful humankind, and contemporary nonviolent theories, with their emphasis on the disclosure of structural evil by Jesus’ life and death.”
The atonement is not a simple doctrine— volumes (like this) have been written about it.
The atonement is the death and resurrection of Christ on the cross as a payment for our sins and reconciling us to a holy God.
The core of understanding this doctrine in light of God’s true character and power requires the atonement to account for Jesus paying the penalty of our sin— a perfect sacrifice— that only he could do as fully God and fully man. It requires the acknowledgement of the triune nature of God— that Jesus was not separated from the Father and the Spirit on the cross. God did not punish an innocent person for our sins— as the triune God he took the punishment for our sins upon himself. It requires that no one ‘took’ Jesus’ life from him— he laid it down willingly in obedience to the Father. It requires the acknowledgement that in dying on the cross and resurrecting, Jesus defeated Satan and sin. (And there’s probably more I’m leaving out)
To give you an idea of some of the theories Ahn considers in his book, here is a short, summarized list: (and I’m still learning this information so if there are errors here, that is on my own misunderstanding…)
- Ransom to Satan: this theory views the atonement as a payment to Satan to release humans from his bondage. But our sin is an offense to a holy God and it is to reconcile our relationship with God that Jesus paid the penalty of our sin
- Christus Victor: this theory focuses on Jesus defeating Satan and evil
- Moral Influence: this theory views the atonement as a mere example of Jesus showing us how to life sacrificiously and that seeing the depth of his love would move us to repentance. But this denies our guilt in our sin and the necessity of a payment for that sin that we could never make. Though it does give us an example of sacrificial love, the atonement must have significant purpose beyond mere example or it would be unjust violence.
- Feminist: (I’m not sure the exact title of this argument) this theory talks about patriarchal… things. Ahn says, “Brock’s intrapersonal analysis reveals broken-heartedness as the destructive result of patriarchal evil.”
- Satisfaction: this theory views God requiring retribution in order to maintain his honor and the hierarchy of his power. Though our sin is against his holiness, this theory doesn’t account for God’s love in paying the price of our sin.
- Penal Substitution: this theory views the atonement as a ‘vicarious, substitutionary sacrifice that satisfied the demands of God’s justice upon sin.’ It acknowledges that Christ’s sacrifice paid for our sin, brought us forgiveness, and gave us Christ’s righteousness, reconciling us to God.
Key terms involved with this discussion include: ransom, redemption, propitiation, substitutionary, voluntary, and example.
Some of the key people that Ahn critiques are Anselm, Barth, Calvin, Schwager, Brock, and Weaver.
This book definitely challenged me. I liked learning more about this doctrine and understanding the importance of having a biblical belief of this doctrine. I do wish, though, that Ahn would have written this book more simply and accessible so that all might stick with the intensity and gain more understanding instead of confusion. I also wish he would have included more Scriptural basis for his commendations and his critiques.
I liked this quote from John Stott that Ahn included:
“We must not then speak of God punishing Jesus or of Jesus persuading God, for to do is to set them over against each other as if they acted independently of each other or were even in conflict with each other. We must never make Christ the object of God’s punishment or God the object of Christ’s persuasion, for both God and Christ were subjects not objects, taking the initiative together to save sinners . . . The Father did not lay on the Son an ordeal he was reluctant to bear, nor did the Son extract from the Father a salvation he was reluctant to bestow. There is no suspicion anywhere in the New Testament of discord between the Father and the Son.”
This came from Stott’s book The Cross of Christ which I plan to read this year as well.
If you’re up for the challenge this book will give you a lot to think about regarding the theories of atonement, but I would venture to guess that you will also need to seek out other resources as you study this essential doctrine.
“The times are changing and we don’t know where it will toss us. All that we know is that it’s time to take matters in our own manicured hands and handle them.”
If you’ve read The Rose Code, you are familiar with the history of Bletchley Park— the famous mansion outpost outside of London involved with decrypting code and cracking Enigma.
Patricia Adrian has written her own historical fiction novel set during this time. Whereas The Rose Code focuses more on sticking to the historical figures and events with its own mysterious spin of espionage, The Bletchley Women is more drama than mystery.
The story surrounds a group of women: Rose, Evie, Elinor, Lucy, and Esther. They form a sisterhood of women working in a man’s world when all the men are off to war. They’re pushing back on society’s expectations and standards for women during that time.
Our two main protagonists are Evie and Rose and the story rotates between each of their POVs.
Evie, sassy, bold, and entitled is from a wealthy family but at odds with her controlling father who is blackmailing her to keep her from her low-class lover. Her brother is also MIA and not speaking to her because of a dark family misunderstanding and if she has to work her way to get some answers and find her brother, she will!
“I’m rich, spoiled, and educated. Why would I want to throw away all of this? For love, I think. I’d throw away all of this for love.”
Rose, quiet, obedient, and people-pleasing is from a farming family, betrothed to a man training and fighting as a pilot. Rose wants to do something with purpose to help her fiance and the boys in the air, but her mother will do anything to keep her on the homefront where she can better ‘protect’ her future marriage and life as a housewife.
“I wasn’t expected to have an opinion about what was best to do with my own life.”
They find each other at Bletchley Park and the sisterhood helps each other navigate the pressures of family, war, sexism, the fact that they have to keep their work a secret from even their closest friends and family, and of course, the oh-so-punchable Henry Thornton.
Comparing this novel to The Rose Code, I would have to say that I liked The Rose Code better. I liked the adherence to historical events and people more engaging and the handling of describing the decoding process better (I think maybe they were doing different kinds of decryption), and of course the mystery entangled with it all.
Since this book was more about the drama at a specific time in history rather than the history itself, I would have liked to see some more character depth and development from some of the other women, but I suppose that would have lengthened the book quite a bit.
But regardless, if you like the setting of WWII and top secret work, I think this book is still worth reading! The author did a good job of portraying how the women were torn between duty and purpose, themselves and their families.
And I would definitely check out my review for The Rose Code HERE to see some YouTube videos I found of how decrypting worked at Bletchley Park.
The Sisterhood found purpose at Bletchley Park, but at what cost…
“I hope they see the piles of papers, our exhausted faces, how we all are a giant pulsing heart, beating for Britain, for each other, for our families, for everything we’ve ever cherished and loved."
[Sidenote: I feel like the cover should have included their colored stockings…]
**Received an ARC via NetGalley**
Book Review Blog | Facebook | Pinterest
If you’ve read The Rose Code, you are familiar with the history of Bletchley Park— the famous mansion outpost outside of London involved with decrypting code and cracking Enigma.
Patricia Adrian has written her own historical fiction novel set during this time. Whereas The Rose Code focuses more on sticking to the historical figures and events with its own mysterious spin of espionage, The Bletchley Women is more drama than mystery.
The story surrounds a group of women: Rose, Evie, Elinor, Lucy, and Esther. They form a sisterhood of women working in a man’s world when all the men are off to war. They’re pushing back on society’s expectations and standards for women during that time.
Our two main protagonists are Evie and Rose and the story rotates between each of their POVs.
Evie, sassy, bold, and entitled is from a wealthy family but at odds with her controlling father who is blackmailing her to keep her from her low-class lover. Her brother is also MIA and not speaking to her because of a dark family misunderstanding and if she has to work her way to get some answers and find her brother, she will!
“I’m rich, spoiled, and educated. Why would I want to throw away all of this? For love, I think. I’d throw away all of this for love.”
Rose, quiet, obedient, and people-pleasing is from a farming family, betrothed to a man training and fighting as a pilot. Rose wants to do something with purpose to help her fiance and the boys in the air, but her mother will do anything to keep her on the homefront where she can better ‘protect’ her future marriage and life as a housewife.
“I wasn’t expected to have an opinion about what was best to do with my own life.”
They find each other at Bletchley Park and the sisterhood helps each other navigate the pressures of family, war, sexism, the fact that they have to keep their work a secret from even their closest friends and family, and of course, the oh-so-punchable Henry Thornton.
Comparing this novel to The Rose Code, I would have to say that I liked The Rose Code better. I liked the adherence to historical events and people more engaging and the handling of describing the decoding process better (I think maybe they were doing different kinds of decryption), and of course the mystery entangled with it all.
Since this book was more about the drama at a specific time in history rather than the history itself, I would have liked to see some more character depth and development from some of the other women, but I suppose that would have lengthened the book quite a bit.
But regardless, if you like the setting of WWII and top secret work, I think this book is still worth reading! The author did a good job of portraying how the women were torn between duty and purpose, themselves and their families.
And I would definitely check out my review for The Rose Code HERE to see some YouTube videos I found of how decrypting worked at Bletchley Park.
The Sisterhood found purpose at Bletchley Park, but at what cost…
“I hope they see the piles of papers, our exhausted faces, how we all are a giant pulsing heart, beating for Britain, for each other, for our families, for everything we’ve ever cherished and loved."
[Sidenote: I feel like the cover should have included their colored stockings…]
**Received an ARC via NetGalley**
Book Review Blog | Facebook | Pinterest
[conflicted 2.5 rounded down... interesting but often in poor taste...]
“However a health-care system might be set up or funded, the experience of being a doctor is utterly universal. The same heartbreak, the same hilarity, the same damaging work schedule, and, of course, the same baffling array of objects getting constantly inserted into orifices.”
Adam Kay, England native, shares his experience in the medical field— his career picked at the ripe age of 16 as is common in the UK— and all the ups and downs of working in a hospital with the NHS (National Health System). It concludes with the heartbreaking story that was the last straw and ultimately led to him leaving the profession.
“Here they are, the diaries I kept during my time as a doctor, genital warts and all. What it was really like on the front line, how my personal life became a hobby I never had time for, and how, one terrible day, it all became too much for me and I finally hit the iceberg. Come on in, the water’s lovely.”
First things first— there is indeed some humor in this book, but most of it is crude and irreverent. I understand the need for dark humor for people who do medical work in order to cope with the intensity and gravity of their jobs and the tragedies they see every day.
But there is a lot of f- and s-words in this book and given the nature of working in OB-GYN, content of a ‘sensitive’ nature often presented in a crude way.
Kay includes a lot of comments that show his heart for his patients and the fact that he does this job to help people and care for people and not for the money. But sometimes his comments make you second guess that a bit.
I really liked the formatting of the book done in brief diary entries. I’m not sure if he actually kept this diary or if he just created it this way for ease of reading and combining random events from a handful of years. Either way, it was an effective way to share his stories.
My Random Thoughts
I’m glad I already had all my kids. I am the kind of person who does not feel invincible. If something bad or weird happens to someone else, it will obviously happen to me. So many of his anecdotes take place with pregnant, delivering, or post-delivery patients and they’re not always pleasant experiences or they give a lot of details about how the process all works and I would not have wanted so much information.
One particular story he shares is of a c-section he was in the middle of sewing back up when an emergency alarm goes off. He goes off and delivers two other babies and by the time he comes back to finish the c-section 90 minutes have elapsed. I had my last delivery and first c-section in 2020 at 30 weeks and there is no way I would have tolerated laying on that table half-open for 90 minutes!!
He references his beeper as a bleeper. I’m not sure if this is a UK term or if it was used for comedic effect but it was kinda funny to read sentences that contained ‘bleeped’ or ‘bleeping’ when in my mind my brain automatically tries to figure out the ‘censored’ word (i.e. “Everything I’m bleeped about takes at least fifteen minutes to firefight”).
Kay definitely puts humanity on doctors for us. And I haven’t decided if that’s a good thing or bad thing. Obviously our doctors are humans with their own feelings and lives, but honestly, I don’t think I would want Adam Kay as my doctor knowing some of his thoughts or behaviors.
In a professional and medical setting, I want to be able to trust my doctor and not picture them drunk, complaining, smoking, or mocking their patients.
Kay makes me wonder what my doctors have thought of me— especially the three weeks I spent in the hospital pre-30-week delivery of twins. I tried not to be an annoying or weird patient, but I don’t like to think about my doctors or nurses talking about me or my situation in a negative way to other people.
The Funnies
Here are some appropriate quotes I can share to show some of the humor. There’s a lot, but if you don’t plan on reading the book for all the other crude humor, then at least you can enjoy the good parts!
“a great doctor must have a huge heart and a distended aorta through which pumps a vast lake of compassion and human kindness.”
“The nighttime Senior House Officer and registrar will be down in the ER seeing and admitting patients while you’re up on the wards, sailing the ship alone. A ship that’s enormous, and on fire, and that no one has really taught you how to sail.”
“I feel like running a teaching session for the orthopedic department entitled ‘Sometimes People Fall Over for a Reason.’” [He views orthopedic surgeons as the Toby of the hospital.]
“laparoscopically is Greek for ‘much slower’ and involves inserting tiny cameras and instruments on long sticks through little holes. It’s fiddly and takes a long time to learn. Re-create the experience for yourself by tying your shoelaces with chopsticks. With your eyes closed. In space.”
“I liked that in obstetrics you ended up with twice the number of patients you started with, which is an unusually good batting average compared to other specialities. (I’m looking at you, geriatrics.)”
“Our computer system has been upgraded and, as happens eleven times out of ten when the hospital tries to make life easier, they’ve made everything much more complicated.”
“It is an established fact that hospital death rates go up on Black Wednesday [when junior doctors change hospitals every 6-12 months]. Knowing this really takes the pressure off, so I’m not trying very hard.”
“You’ll hear ‘Could you just take a quick look?’ more than you’ll ever hear ‘Hey, it’s great to see you.’”
“I finish explaining the risks of a cesarean section to a couple. ‘Any questions at all?’ I ask the room. ‘Yes,’ chimes in their six-year-old. ‘Do you think Jesus was black?’”
“We’re reminded that in the last three years, neurosurgeons in the UK have drilled holes in the wrong side of a patient’s skull fifteen times. Fifteen times they couldn’t tell left from right while holding a Black and Decker to someone’s cranium. Feels like grounds for retiring the ‘It’s hardly brain surgery’ maxim.”
“At a pub quiz with Ron and a few others and one of the questions is ‘How many bones are there in the human body?’ I’m off by about sixty, to the general outrage of my teammates.” [Doesn’t everyone know it’s 206?]
“Waited until the radio station had moved on to the next song before making the uterine incision for a cesarean. As appropriate as Cutting Crew may be for a surgeon, I refuse to deliver a baby to the refrain of ‘I just died in your arms tonight.’”
“It’s a Saturday night and the NHS runs a skeleton service. Actually, that’s unfair to skeletons— it’s more like when they dig up remains of Neolithic Man and reconstruct what he might have looked like from a piece of clavicle and a thumb joint.”
[watching the news] “I gasp. ‘Michael Jackson’s dead!’ One of the nurses sighs and stands up. ‘Which cubicle?’”
“What should I have brought to entice people into a career in medicine? Toy stethoscopes? Amniotic-fluid smoothies? Diaries with all your weekends, evenings, and Christmases handily crossed out?”
“I never volunteer my opinions on home births, but if, as today, a patient specifically asks me what I think of them, what I’d have if it were me, then I’ll be honest. It’s a five-minute speech, as follows: …. Unfortunately, today’s clinic is running massively late, and I’ve got a dinner date so I don’t have time for all this. Instead I give the abbreviated version: ‘Home delivery is for pizzas.’”
The Cringe-ys
There are many anecdotes of things that were stuck in different orifices- including one where a woman is running from the police and tries to jump a fence but one of the rails goes up between her legs and out her abdomen. She survives.
Before the whole process was complete, a woman who had just delivered a baby started eating her placenta. Turns out it was just a bowl of blood clots.
There is a lot of blood and bodily fluid-involved stories. I’ll stop now. But these are just a few of many cringe-worthy stories.
He is not transparent about his frustrations with his long hours and staying late on shifts, etc. Some reviewers were turned off by the ‘complaining.’ I can definitely allow for some complaining, but as a patient, you don’t want your doctor to be irritated they have to be there helping you when they don’t want to be.
Also here was a sobering quote:
“I assured her there was absolutely nothing wrong with her labia; they really, honestly, did look normal. ‘Not like porn, though,’ she said.”
This girl had ended up mutilating her genitals in an attempt to make it look more like what she saw on porn. Yet another reason (among many) why the porn industry is a problem.
The Ethics/Politics
The NHS is a government-run universal health-care system that is clear from Kay’s book, creates resource and staffing shortages and low pay which affects the quality of care people receive because of overworked and exhausted caregivers and the limited access to what they need.
Kay is trying to be a voice to change that.
I’m not entirely sure how the US system compares to the UK. Neither is perfect. I want everyone to have access to the health care they need but I also don’t want it controlled by the government. I feel like the privatization of medical care would help because it creates competition which would drive costs down but also incentivize hospitals to provide the best care in order to profit.
I read a quote on an article from Berkeley about health care that said, “Complete nationalization of healthcare means that there is no incentive for the market forces to achieve a better-quality healthcare system: lack of incentives almost always leads to a sacrifice in quality.”
I think I agree with this. I don’t have any answers to create the perfect health care system but the point is— this book has a not-so-subtle opinion thread throughout that criticizes the problems in the NHS system.
Ethically, I’m not sure how I feel about Kay sharing all of these stories with the world. He has changed names and dates, etc to provide confidentiality. But still, these are sensitive and often embarrassing moments for people and I don’t know if it’s right for him to present them for people to laugh at. I wouldn’t want my hospital experiences to be mocked or joked about without my consent, even if people didn’t know it was me.
A hospital is supposed to be a safe place and what happens there is usually a big deal for people there. This book kinda cheapens that in a lot of his anecdotes.
Conclusion
I thought this book was interesting and I read it because I thought it would be funny and I wanted some behind-the-scenes look at the goings-on of a hospital.
But the swearing, crude humor, and ethical misgivings are too much for me to get through for the amount of appropriate humor and knowledge you read.
However, if you are in the medical field, maybe you need this book because it will resonate with you in a way that it doesn’t for me. Maybe you will feel seen and it will help you cope with what you deal with at your hospital. I don’t know.
Normally I would say this is just one I wouldn’t read for some of the content, but because of my uncertainty of the ethics of it, I’m hesitant to recommend it to anyone.
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“However a health-care system might be set up or funded, the experience of being a doctor is utterly universal. The same heartbreak, the same hilarity, the same damaging work schedule, and, of course, the same baffling array of objects getting constantly inserted into orifices.”
Adam Kay, England native, shares his experience in the medical field— his career picked at the ripe age of 16 as is common in the UK— and all the ups and downs of working in a hospital with the NHS (National Health System). It concludes with the heartbreaking story that was the last straw and ultimately led to him leaving the profession.
“Here they are, the diaries I kept during my time as a doctor, genital warts and all. What it was really like on the front line, how my personal life became a hobby I never had time for, and how, one terrible day, it all became too much for me and I finally hit the iceberg. Come on in, the water’s lovely.”
First things first— there is indeed some humor in this book, but most of it is crude and irreverent. I understand the need for dark humor for people who do medical work in order to cope with the intensity and gravity of their jobs and the tragedies they see every day.
But there is a lot of f- and s-words in this book and given the nature of working in OB-GYN, content of a ‘sensitive’ nature often presented in a crude way.
Kay includes a lot of comments that show his heart for his patients and the fact that he does this job to help people and care for people and not for the money. But sometimes his comments make you second guess that a bit.
I really liked the formatting of the book done in brief diary entries. I’m not sure if he actually kept this diary or if he just created it this way for ease of reading and combining random events from a handful of years. Either way, it was an effective way to share his stories.
My Random Thoughts
I’m glad I already had all my kids. I am the kind of person who does not feel invincible. If something bad or weird happens to someone else, it will obviously happen to me. So many of his anecdotes take place with pregnant, delivering, or post-delivery patients and they’re not always pleasant experiences or they give a lot of details about how the process all works and I would not have wanted so much information.
One particular story he shares is of a c-section he was in the middle of sewing back up when an emergency alarm goes off. He goes off and delivers two other babies and by the time he comes back to finish the c-section 90 minutes have elapsed. I had my last delivery and first c-section in 2020 at 30 weeks and there is no way I would have tolerated laying on that table half-open for 90 minutes!!
He references his beeper as a bleeper. I’m not sure if this is a UK term or if it was used for comedic effect but it was kinda funny to read sentences that contained ‘bleeped’ or ‘bleeping’ when in my mind my brain automatically tries to figure out the ‘censored’ word (i.e. “Everything I’m bleeped about takes at least fifteen minutes to firefight”).
Kay definitely puts humanity on doctors for us. And I haven’t decided if that’s a good thing or bad thing. Obviously our doctors are humans with their own feelings and lives, but honestly, I don’t think I would want Adam Kay as my doctor knowing some of his thoughts or behaviors.
In a professional and medical setting, I want to be able to trust my doctor and not picture them drunk, complaining, smoking, or mocking their patients.
Kay makes me wonder what my doctors have thought of me— especially the three weeks I spent in the hospital pre-30-week delivery of twins. I tried not to be an annoying or weird patient, but I don’t like to think about my doctors or nurses talking about me or my situation in a negative way to other people.
The Funnies
Here are some appropriate quotes I can share to show some of the humor. There’s a lot, but if you don’t plan on reading the book for all the other crude humor, then at least you can enjoy the good parts!
“a great doctor must have a huge heart and a distended aorta through which pumps a vast lake of compassion and human kindness.”
“The nighttime Senior House Officer and registrar will be down in the ER seeing and admitting patients while you’re up on the wards, sailing the ship alone. A ship that’s enormous, and on fire, and that no one has really taught you how to sail.”
“I feel like running a teaching session for the orthopedic department entitled ‘Sometimes People Fall Over for a Reason.’” [He views orthopedic surgeons as the Toby of the hospital.]
“laparoscopically is Greek for ‘much slower’ and involves inserting tiny cameras and instruments on long sticks through little holes. It’s fiddly and takes a long time to learn. Re-create the experience for yourself by tying your shoelaces with chopsticks. With your eyes closed. In space.”
“I liked that in obstetrics you ended up with twice the number of patients you started with, which is an unusually good batting average compared to other specialities. (I’m looking at you, geriatrics.)”
“Our computer system has been upgraded and, as happens eleven times out of ten when the hospital tries to make life easier, they’ve made everything much more complicated.”
“It is an established fact that hospital death rates go up on Black Wednesday [when junior doctors change hospitals every 6-12 months]. Knowing this really takes the pressure off, so I’m not trying very hard.”
“You’ll hear ‘Could you just take a quick look?’ more than you’ll ever hear ‘Hey, it’s great to see you.’”
“I finish explaining the risks of a cesarean section to a couple. ‘Any questions at all?’ I ask the room. ‘Yes,’ chimes in their six-year-old. ‘Do you think Jesus was black?’”
“We’re reminded that in the last three years, neurosurgeons in the UK have drilled holes in the wrong side of a patient’s skull fifteen times. Fifteen times they couldn’t tell left from right while holding a Black and Decker to someone’s cranium. Feels like grounds for retiring the ‘It’s hardly brain surgery’ maxim.”
“At a pub quiz with Ron and a few others and one of the questions is ‘How many bones are there in the human body?’ I’m off by about sixty, to the general outrage of my teammates.” [Doesn’t everyone know it’s 206?]
“Waited until the radio station had moved on to the next song before making the uterine incision for a cesarean. As appropriate as Cutting Crew may be for a surgeon, I refuse to deliver a baby to the refrain of ‘I just died in your arms tonight.’”
“It’s a Saturday night and the NHS runs a skeleton service. Actually, that’s unfair to skeletons— it’s more like when they dig up remains of Neolithic Man and reconstruct what he might have looked like from a piece of clavicle and a thumb joint.”
[watching the news] “I gasp. ‘Michael Jackson’s dead!’ One of the nurses sighs and stands up. ‘Which cubicle?’”
“What should I have brought to entice people into a career in medicine? Toy stethoscopes? Amniotic-fluid smoothies? Diaries with all your weekends, evenings, and Christmases handily crossed out?”
“I never volunteer my opinions on home births, but if, as today, a patient specifically asks me what I think of them, what I’d have if it were me, then I’ll be honest. It’s a five-minute speech, as follows: …. Unfortunately, today’s clinic is running massively late, and I’ve got a dinner date so I don’t have time for all this. Instead I give the abbreviated version: ‘Home delivery is for pizzas.’”
The Cringe-ys
There are many anecdotes of things that were stuck in different orifices- including one where a woman is running from the police and tries to jump a fence but one of the rails goes up between her legs and out her abdomen. She survives.
Before the whole process was complete, a woman who had just delivered a baby started eating her placenta. Turns out it was just a bowl of blood clots.
There is a lot of blood and bodily fluid-involved stories. I’ll stop now. But these are just a few of many cringe-worthy stories.
He is not transparent about his frustrations with his long hours and staying late on shifts, etc. Some reviewers were turned off by the ‘complaining.’ I can definitely allow for some complaining, but as a patient, you don’t want your doctor to be irritated they have to be there helping you when they don’t want to be.
Also here was a sobering quote:
“I assured her there was absolutely nothing wrong with her labia; they really, honestly, did look normal. ‘Not like porn, though,’ she said.”
This girl had ended up mutilating her genitals in an attempt to make it look more like what she saw on porn. Yet another reason (among many) why the porn industry is a problem.
The Ethics/Politics
The NHS is a government-run universal health-care system that is clear from Kay’s book, creates resource and staffing shortages and low pay which affects the quality of care people receive because of overworked and exhausted caregivers and the limited access to what they need.
Kay is trying to be a voice to change that.
I’m not entirely sure how the US system compares to the UK. Neither is perfect. I want everyone to have access to the health care they need but I also don’t want it controlled by the government. I feel like the privatization of medical care would help because it creates competition which would drive costs down but also incentivize hospitals to provide the best care in order to profit.
I read a quote on an article from Berkeley about health care that said, “Complete nationalization of healthcare means that there is no incentive for the market forces to achieve a better-quality healthcare system: lack of incentives almost always leads to a sacrifice in quality.”
I think I agree with this. I don’t have any answers to create the perfect health care system but the point is— this book has a not-so-subtle opinion thread throughout that criticizes the problems in the NHS system.
Ethically, I’m not sure how I feel about Kay sharing all of these stories with the world. He has changed names and dates, etc to provide confidentiality. But still, these are sensitive and often embarrassing moments for people and I don’t know if it’s right for him to present them for people to laugh at. I wouldn’t want my hospital experiences to be mocked or joked about without my consent, even if people didn’t know it was me.
A hospital is supposed to be a safe place and what happens there is usually a big deal for people there. This book kinda cheapens that in a lot of his anecdotes.
Conclusion
I thought this book was interesting and I read it because I thought it would be funny and I wanted some behind-the-scenes look at the goings-on of a hospital.
But the swearing, crude humor, and ethical misgivings are too much for me to get through for the amount of appropriate humor and knowledge you read.
However, if you are in the medical field, maybe you need this book because it will resonate with you in a way that it doesn’t for me. Maybe you will feel seen and it will help you cope with what you deal with at your hospital. I don’t know.
Normally I would say this is just one I wouldn’t read for some of the content, but because of my uncertainty of the ethics of it, I’m hesitant to recommend it to anyone.
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“I had never known true loneliness until I became a star mother.”
“You have taught me what it is to love… It is truth, it is promise, and it is sacrifice.”
Star-crossed lovers. Literally. Mixed with The One Who Lived Harry-Potter-magic-style.
Charlie Holmberg has created a world in which mortals and celestial beings interact. A world where stars power the Earth Mother. Where stars are the by-product of the Sun god and a mortal woman. A world where the Moon goddess and the Sun god war against each other.
The First Two Sentences
The first two sentences of the book are:
“I thought making love to the Sun would be the most unbearable pain I would ever experience. Giving birth to his child was far worse.”
I almost stopped reading because that did not seem like a book I wanted to read. Romance is not usually my jam, especially if we’re talking about celestial lovemaking. Pass.
But I gave it a chance and though it took a little while to get engaged with the story, I did enjoy it.
And thankfully the two or three times lovemaking is talked about, there is no detail or description except that it hurt… because of the nature of the Sun and stars. It’s a fantasy novel so you have to imagine a world where mortals and gods and demigods can be lovers.
To start the book with that sentence is a little misleading as to what the book is largely going to depict. It’s more about Ceris’s journey of being a Star Mother, of her attachment to her daughter, a star whom she cannot hold or be with, of Ceris trying to find her belonging in the world, which does involve finding her true love.
Brief Summary
Ceris Wendon’s village has been chosen to send forth a young woman to sacrifice herself to be the next star mother. A star has died and must be replaced. But a woman who births a star never survives. It is a sacrifice of honor and legacy.
Though betrothed to marry, her fiance is in love with another.
Ceris volunteers as tribute.
“Why should three hearts break, when it was needed of only one?”
Ceris and Sun do the deed.
“I knew immediately, in all my ignorance, that I was pregnant, and that a star had budded to life inside of me. And with that budding came wonder, which turned into purpose, which shifted to hope. And that hope helped illuminate the darkness that had crept over my soul.”
After 9 months, she births the star.
And against all odds, Ceris doesn’t die. She lives! Out of hundreds of star mothers, she is the One Who Lived.
When Ceris finally returns home she is shocked to find 700 years have passed and all her friends and family have long died. She sets out to find her sister’s descendants, looking for information of what happened to them and hoping she can live out her years with family, however far removed they are.
To help guide and protect her on her journey is a godling named Risteriel who is running away from something/someone.
This book is the triangular story of Ceris the Star Mother, Risteriel the ‘Trickster’, and Saiyon the Sun god. It is the story of love and sacrifice, loss and life as Ceris searches for her belonging in the world and the legacy she will leave.
Speculation
“Manage it, escape it, or grow with it. Pain, I mean…. But you can’t forget it. Even if you could, you would lose the strength it gave you. There is always strength in pain. It’s small and it’s hidden, but it’s always there.”
“She became my joy. I was never able to hold her in my arms, but she means more to me than anything. And without Him, I would not have her.”
As I was reading about Ceris having her daughter but grieving that she never got to hold her or nurse her or experience the nurturing and raising of her child, I speculated as to what possibly inspired this story. To me it felt like a story depicting the loss of a baby, a miscarriage, perhaps, and how a mother grieves that loss.
The pain that a mother goes through, but how that pain also gives strength.
Based on the Author’s Note, Holmberg does not give any indication that that was the inspiration. She talks of this story being about light and dark and how she was in a dark place and the light pulled her out.
If you were going to do a book discussion on this book, talking about the concept of light and darkness throughout the book would make for some interesting conversation.
God or god?
In a world created with gods, I can’t help but consider how Holmberg depicts these gods, the mortals’ relationship toward them, and the after life.
Here are a few quotes that stuck out to me that I’ll discuss after:
- “Are you afraid, Ristriel?” “I am. But I am also free, and freedom is worth the fear.”
- “Is that not what all mortals—all creatures—live for? That which brings the most happiness?”
- “There is something peculiar about human beings and their need to worship. Their need to find hope outside themselves… It isn’t a bad thing, to seek hope when you cannot find it within yourself.”
- “I had glimpsed the place I was meant to be, and I ached for it.”
- “Were mortals so unimportant that gods and godlings alike didn’t think twice about our welfare? About what we wanted?”
- “Talk with a god . . . I’d never have believed it before yesterday.”
Firstly, Holmberg went to BYU and states this in her acknowledgements: “thanks to God, who guides my paths and directs my inspiration . . . and may very well have been the One who carved the way out of darkness and pointed me toward Star Mother in the first place.” So… based on her schooling I would guess she’s Mormon but I’m not entirely sure on her theology.
I’m only wondering because the god that she creates in this book is a god who is far away and uncaring. A god who does not know all, see all, or is superior to all. Mortals do not have any relationship with the god other than to worship it and appease it with sacrifices. There is not reciprocity in terms of love or communication. There are many gods at varying levels of power in different domains.
The God of the Bible is very different. He is all-powerful, all-wise, all-knowing, and desires a relationship with His creation. He loves them and instead of mortals sacrificing to appease gods, God sacrificed himself for us, who have eternal souls, and offers us eternal life that is not based on our good works, or anything else we could offer Him. He is a God of justice, grace, mercy, and love. Talking with God is not an anomaly. He desires it of us.
And yes, human beings have a need to worship. And God has created a yearning for eternity in our hearts. We know we are not made for Earth, we are made for something more. We hope for something outside of ourselves. Whether we identify it correctly or not, we ache for heaven with our Creator. We may try to worship other things, people, or ourselves, but nothing will satisfy except He who created us for himself.
I recently read this quote from C.S. Lewis that applies well here:
“If we find ourselves with a desire that nothing in this world can satisfy, the most probably explanation is that we were made for another world.”
Many people live merely for happiness. But that pursuit is empty. We were made to live and worship God as our Creator, Father, Savior, and Friend. And that relationship is full of happiness and freedom.
And not fear. Perfect love casts out fear. Freedom is worth the fear? If I’m going to continue to overanalyze, then I’m going to challenge this statement. There is freedom in Christ and He overcomes our fear. ‘Freedom is worth the fear.’ This is an interesting statement to discuss.
So what’s the point of my critique? ‘It’s just a fantasy book in a created world, chill with the analysis’ you might be thinking.
I get it, and don’t get me wrong— I enjoyed the book!
But I can’t help but consider these differences and to be thankful and praise God for all of his attributes, to thank him that he is near to us, he cares for us, and he is actively working in our lives for our good.
And to her credit she says that love is truth, promise and sacrifice. Jesus is the way, the Truth, and the life. He sacrificed his life for ours and promises his righteousness and eternal life to us who receive his gift and trust in Him alone.
I’m not dissing her book, she just gave me a reason to praise my God!
Conclusion
Holmberg is a good writer. I’ve read The Paper Magician and most recently Spellbreaker. Creating worlds of magic, passion, and purpose is her specialty.
If you like fantasy books, I think you’ll enjoy this. Once you get past those first sentences and get a few chapters in, it’s a page-turner. And it is a beautiful story.
Similar in content, The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue explores the love affair between a ‘mortal’ turned eternal being and the devil. Star Mother far exceeds the power of that book in my opinion in both message, writing, and believability— if that can be a thing in the fantasy genre. (Read my really fun review of that book by clicking the link.)
I read Star Mother in like 2 days and lucky for me, I have Star Father, its sequel, waiting in the wings! Stay tuned!
**Received a copy via Amazon First Reads**
“You have taught me what it is to love… It is truth, it is promise, and it is sacrifice.”
Star-crossed lovers. Literally. Mixed with The One Who Lived Harry-Potter-magic-style.
Charlie Holmberg has created a world in which mortals and celestial beings interact. A world where stars power the Earth Mother. Where stars are the by-product of the Sun god and a mortal woman. A world where the Moon goddess and the Sun god war against each other.
The First Two Sentences
The first two sentences of the book are:
“I thought making love to the Sun would be the most unbearable pain I would ever experience. Giving birth to his child was far worse.”
I almost stopped reading because that did not seem like a book I wanted to read. Romance is not usually my jam, especially if we’re talking about celestial lovemaking. Pass.
But I gave it a chance and though it took a little while to get engaged with the story, I did enjoy it.
And thankfully the two or three times lovemaking is talked about, there is no detail or description except that it hurt… because of the nature of the Sun and stars. It’s a fantasy novel so you have to imagine a world where mortals and gods and demigods can be lovers.
To start the book with that sentence is a little misleading as to what the book is largely going to depict. It’s more about Ceris’s journey of being a Star Mother, of her attachment to her daughter, a star whom she cannot hold or be with, of Ceris trying to find her belonging in the world, which does involve finding her true love.
Brief Summary
Ceris Wendon’s village has been chosen to send forth a young woman to sacrifice herself to be the next star mother. A star has died and must be replaced. But a woman who births a star never survives. It is a sacrifice of honor and legacy.
Though betrothed to marry, her fiance is in love with another.
Ceris volunteers as tribute.
“Why should three hearts break, when it was needed of only one?”
Ceris and Sun do the deed.
“I knew immediately, in all my ignorance, that I was pregnant, and that a star had budded to life inside of me. And with that budding came wonder, which turned into purpose, which shifted to hope. And that hope helped illuminate the darkness that had crept over my soul.”
After 9 months, she births the star.
And against all odds, Ceris doesn’t die. She lives! Out of hundreds of star mothers, she is the One Who Lived.
When Ceris finally returns home she is shocked to find 700 years have passed and all her friends and family have long died. She sets out to find her sister’s descendants, looking for information of what happened to them and hoping she can live out her years with family, however far removed they are.
To help guide and protect her on her journey is a godling named Risteriel who is running away from something/someone.
This book is the triangular story of Ceris the Star Mother, Risteriel the ‘Trickster’, and Saiyon the Sun god. It is the story of love and sacrifice, loss and life as Ceris searches for her belonging in the world and the legacy she will leave.
Speculation
“Manage it, escape it, or grow with it. Pain, I mean…. But you can’t forget it. Even if you could, you would lose the strength it gave you. There is always strength in pain. It’s small and it’s hidden, but it’s always there.”
“She became my joy. I was never able to hold her in my arms, but she means more to me than anything. And without Him, I would not have her.”
As I was reading about Ceris having her daughter but grieving that she never got to hold her or nurse her or experience the nurturing and raising of her child, I speculated as to what possibly inspired this story. To me it felt like a story depicting the loss of a baby, a miscarriage, perhaps, and how a mother grieves that loss.
The pain that a mother goes through, but how that pain also gives strength.
Based on the Author’s Note, Holmberg does not give any indication that that was the inspiration. She talks of this story being about light and dark and how she was in a dark place and the light pulled her out.
If you were going to do a book discussion on this book, talking about the concept of light and darkness throughout the book would make for some interesting conversation.
God or god?
In a world created with gods, I can’t help but consider how Holmberg depicts these gods, the mortals’ relationship toward them, and the after life.
Here are a few quotes that stuck out to me that I’ll discuss after:
- “Are you afraid, Ristriel?” “I am. But I am also free, and freedom is worth the fear.”
- “Is that not what all mortals—all creatures—live for? That which brings the most happiness?”
- “There is something peculiar about human beings and their need to worship. Their need to find hope outside themselves… It isn’t a bad thing, to seek hope when you cannot find it within yourself.”
- “I had glimpsed the place I was meant to be, and I ached for it.”
- “Were mortals so unimportant that gods and godlings alike didn’t think twice about our welfare? About what we wanted?”
- “Talk with a god . . . I’d never have believed it before yesterday.”
Firstly, Holmberg went to BYU and states this in her acknowledgements: “thanks to God, who guides my paths and directs my inspiration . . . and may very well have been the One who carved the way out of darkness and pointed me toward Star Mother in the first place.” So… based on her schooling I would guess she’s Mormon but I’m not entirely sure on her theology.
I’m only wondering because the god that she creates in this book is a god who is far away and uncaring. A god who does not know all, see all, or is superior to all. Mortals do not have any relationship with the god other than to worship it and appease it with sacrifices. There is not reciprocity in terms of love or communication. There are many gods at varying levels of power in different domains.
The God of the Bible is very different. He is all-powerful, all-wise, all-knowing, and desires a relationship with His creation. He loves them and instead of mortals sacrificing to appease gods, God sacrificed himself for us, who have eternal souls, and offers us eternal life that is not based on our good works, or anything else we could offer Him. He is a God of justice, grace, mercy, and love. Talking with God is not an anomaly. He desires it of us.
And yes, human beings have a need to worship. And God has created a yearning for eternity in our hearts. We know we are not made for Earth, we are made for something more. We hope for something outside of ourselves. Whether we identify it correctly or not, we ache for heaven with our Creator. We may try to worship other things, people, or ourselves, but nothing will satisfy except He who created us for himself.
I recently read this quote from C.S. Lewis that applies well here:
“If we find ourselves with a desire that nothing in this world can satisfy, the most probably explanation is that we were made for another world.”
Many people live merely for happiness. But that pursuit is empty. We were made to live and worship God as our Creator, Father, Savior, and Friend. And that relationship is full of happiness and freedom.
And not fear. Perfect love casts out fear. Freedom is worth the fear? If I’m going to continue to overanalyze, then I’m going to challenge this statement. There is freedom in Christ and He overcomes our fear. ‘Freedom is worth the fear.’ This is an interesting statement to discuss.
So what’s the point of my critique? ‘It’s just a fantasy book in a created world, chill with the analysis’ you might be thinking.
I get it, and don’t get me wrong— I enjoyed the book!
But I can’t help but consider these differences and to be thankful and praise God for all of his attributes, to thank him that he is near to us, he cares for us, and he is actively working in our lives for our good.
And to her credit she says that love is truth, promise and sacrifice. Jesus is the way, the Truth, and the life. He sacrificed his life for ours and promises his righteousness and eternal life to us who receive his gift and trust in Him alone.
I’m not dissing her book, she just gave me a reason to praise my God!
Conclusion
Holmberg is a good writer. I’ve read The Paper Magician and most recently Spellbreaker. Creating worlds of magic, passion, and purpose is her specialty.
If you like fantasy books, I think you’ll enjoy this. Once you get past those first sentences and get a few chapters in, it’s a page-turner. And it is a beautiful story.
Similar in content, The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue explores the love affair between a ‘mortal’ turned eternal being and the devil. Star Mother far exceeds the power of that book in my opinion in both message, writing, and believability— if that can be a thing in the fantasy genre. (Read my really fun review of that book by clicking the link.)
I read Star Mother in like 2 days and lucky for me, I have Star Father, its sequel, waiting in the wings! Stay tuned!
**Received a copy via Amazon First Reads**
“Could it be that we are so worn and desperate for ways to better ourselves because we’ve missed the power, inherent in the grace of God, that eradicates self-improvement altogether?”
“Cease striving and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth” (Psalm 46:10)
This is such an important book.
Just that phrase- ‘when strivings cease’- doesn’t that sound nice?
I don’t know about you, but I definitely feel the exhaustion of striving. Of trying to be better. Of trying to be good enough.
It’s such an easy trap to fall into. It’s the voice of the world, the message of our society: ‘You have what it takes if you dig deep enough, try hard enough, you are your own hero, you can achieve anything you set your mind on, go get it girl, it’s yours for the taking.’
And since we like control, standards that are measurable, and lists that are checkable, we run that little hamster wheel of striving to be the ever elusive perfect version of ourselves and it is truly never-ending. What is the goal anyway? Do we even know anymore?
Ruth Chou Simons has written this book from her own battles with striving— rooted partly in the achievement and honor based Asian culture she grew up with and shares with readers— and encourages us to reject the striving and to rest in the grace of God.
“We’re worshiping the gospel of self-reliance. Self-reliance is something we can control, manipulate, and measure according to our efforts. Grace, on the other hand, is countercultural with its rejection of self-sufficiency and its relinquishing of power. Whether we recognize it or not our culture is sadly intoxicated with the lure of all that’s measurable and based on self-reliance, even for those who claim to represent the gospel of Christ. We say we trust that Jesus is enough, but we spend our lives trying to prove that we are, instead.”
Part One
These first chapters talk about all the things we strive for. I was surprised to realize how many of these I actually do.
We strive:
- to please
- for attention
- to be good enough
- for approval
- to save ourselves through perfection
- to belong
- to outrun shame
- to have it all
We think we are broken, we are unworthy, and unwelcome. We think God won’t love us or want to hear from us until we have our act together. Until we’ve proven our love and devotion by our good works.
We twist what we deem ‘acceptable’ when we partake of the cancel culture environment. We have to fit in with the shifting sands of cultural acceptability where there is no redemption, just running from reprimands.
And in our efforts of striving we place our own expectations on other people and become disappointed when they don’t measure up either.
We make idols of people, achievements, and attributes in our attempts to become our best selves.
All of these things show that we don’t really know God or His gospel.
I hadn’t read that verse in Psalm that I wrote at the beginning of this review in that translation before. You may recognize the verse as ‘Be still and know that I am God.’ But I like that adjustment in wording.
Cease striving. And know God.
If we know God then we know he loves us and has always loved us before we ever did anything good or bad. If we know the gospel we know that we can never do enough to earn our salvation. We can never be good enough. But we don’t have to be. Jesus took our sin and bestowed on us his righteousness.
I reflected on that verse a few years ago in this blog post. But I hadn’t considered this aspect of what ‘be still’ entails. It’s not just to trust God in the storms and destruction and chaos of life.
It’s to relinquish both the outcomes and the outworkings.
Striving leads to our own exaltation.
Resting in grace leads to God’s exaltation who sanctifies us through his Spirit not our efforts.
Part Two
The last chapters remind us what grace actually does for us.
Grace:
- makes us new
- fuels good works
- cancels our debt
- rewrites our stories
- replaces fear with freedom
- makes forgiveness possible
Grace is such a common Christian word that sometimes I think we forget what it means. We may believe ourselves unworthy of it, or we may use it as an excuse to even try to obey at all.
I think it’s a tough balance between obedience and pursuing holiness, yet resisting our desires to earn our salvation and our worth.
Here Ruth helps us visualize how grace plays out in our lives.
In one chapter she asks what we find hard to forgive in others. Then she says that if it’s something you can measure in yourself, you’re missing God’s grace. I thought it was really interesting to ponder the things that are hard for me to forgive and to realize how those things are a reflection of what I’m trying to measure and live up to in myself.
Extending forgiveness acknowledges our own failures and our own need for forgiveness. It relinquishes our self-given right to judge others’ righteousness. And it shows us where we have placed a barrier in ourselves against God’s grace.
Another thing she talked about that resonated with me was this quote:
“Rest and satisfaction are essentially what awaited the Israelites in the promised land. Rest from their toils and striving, satisfaction for their hunger and longings. And you may remember, they couldn’t access God’s promised rest in their disbelief, fear, and distrust. They couldn’t receive the land even when they tried to take it with their own hands with fervor… The Israelites did not settle the Land of Milk and Honey until they believed and trusted the God who promised it.”
I reflected on the promised land and God’s deliverance of us from our slavery to our sin and worship of self in this blog post. Ruth gives us this good reminder that the benefits of God’s grace only come when we trust in his deliverance and stop trying to control everything and manage our morality.
Real freedom comes from surrendering not striving.
Conclusion
Ruth ends her book with this summary:
“Strivings cease when…
… we no longer need to prove our worth.
… we stop chasing approval as our comfort.
… we glory in our weakness.
… God is greater than our accomplishments.
… we know peace apart from pleasing others.
… God is for us and no longer against us.
… Jesus so captures our gaze we stop chasing everything else.”
This book is for everyone. Battling the striving mentality is a daily endeavor. This book is relatable and convicting. It will bring the meaning of ‘grace’ back to life for you and offers you the best way out of the exhaustion and disappointment.
I can’t help but read the title of this book and think of the song In Christ Alone. Such a fitting title of a song and lyrics that remind us that He is all we need. He is our hope and our peace. When strivings cease.
“In Christ alone my hope is found
He is my light, my strength, my song
This cornerstone, this solid ground
Firm through the fiercest drought and storm
What heights of love, what depths of peace
When fears are stilled, when strivings cease
My comforter, my all in all
Here in the love of Christ I stand.”
More Quotes
[because she says it better than I can]
“We’re working so hard to bloom, to bend, to please that we’ve neglected the soil from which we flourish.”
“We can’t know true freedom if we expect grace to make us merely better, rather than completely new.”
“God wants our true worship, not our perfect performance.”
“Our efforts make us prideful, even though we still question if we’ve done enough. Because we don’t believe we‘re hopeless enough or that God is merciful enough, we become driven by merit rather than grace. But we end up feeling disappointed all the time because our standards are defined not by God’s ability but our own. And we’re trying to hold others up to the same standards.”
“Are you more concerned with your performance or God’s presence in doing the work?”
“Is being the hero of your own story actually a relief? Is self-reliance truly satisfying?”
“Social media posts, brand alignment, political affiliation, mask wearing, vaccines, protests, news channels. These are just a few areas where the collective is now shaping what we think of as acceptable. The sad part is the way we’ve come to determine someone’s worthiness based on our different definitions of acceptability. We’ve somehow replaced identity with identification.”
“When we strive to avoid shame, the antidote isn’t self-love— that’s where I think current self-help fails us as Christ followers. We don’t need to simply feel no shame; instead, we need to recognize that the entire redemption story is about shame and ‘everything Scripture says about shame converges at Jesus. From his birth to his crucifixion, the shame of the world was distilled to its most concentrated form and washed over him.’”
“We can call it spiritual discipline, hard work, commitment, or pursuit of holiness, but if it’s motivated by self-fulfillment or self-improvement, it’s not a worship of God; it’s a worship of self.”
“Without grace, we wouldn’t even know how desperately we are in need of it.”
“God’s grace isn’t an afterthought for a believer walking through unexpected circumstances; it’s the anchor.”
“Satan’s very favorite tactic, from the beginning, has been to mess with our minds and to plant seeds of doubt in God’s faithfulness, God’s forgiveness, and God’s favor. This is the trifecta of freedom in a believer’s life. His faithfulness eclipses our clawing for control; his forgiveness erases debilitating guilt and shame; and his favor eradicates our need to look anywhere else for love than God himself.”
Book Review Blog | Facebook | Pinterest
**Received a copy via Goodreads Giveaway**
“Cease striving and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth” (Psalm 46:10)
This is such an important book.
Just that phrase- ‘when strivings cease’- doesn’t that sound nice?
I don’t know about you, but I definitely feel the exhaustion of striving. Of trying to be better. Of trying to be good enough.
It’s such an easy trap to fall into. It’s the voice of the world, the message of our society: ‘You have what it takes if you dig deep enough, try hard enough, you are your own hero, you can achieve anything you set your mind on, go get it girl, it’s yours for the taking.’
And since we like control, standards that are measurable, and lists that are checkable, we run that little hamster wheel of striving to be the ever elusive perfect version of ourselves and it is truly never-ending. What is the goal anyway? Do we even know anymore?
Ruth Chou Simons has written this book from her own battles with striving— rooted partly in the achievement and honor based Asian culture she grew up with and shares with readers— and encourages us to reject the striving and to rest in the grace of God.
“We’re worshiping the gospel of self-reliance. Self-reliance is something we can control, manipulate, and measure according to our efforts. Grace, on the other hand, is countercultural with its rejection of self-sufficiency and its relinquishing of power. Whether we recognize it or not our culture is sadly intoxicated with the lure of all that’s measurable and based on self-reliance, even for those who claim to represent the gospel of Christ. We say we trust that Jesus is enough, but we spend our lives trying to prove that we are, instead.”
Part One
These first chapters talk about all the things we strive for. I was surprised to realize how many of these I actually do.
We strive:
- to please
- for attention
- to be good enough
- for approval
- to save ourselves through perfection
- to belong
- to outrun shame
- to have it all
We think we are broken, we are unworthy, and unwelcome. We think God won’t love us or want to hear from us until we have our act together. Until we’ve proven our love and devotion by our good works.
We twist what we deem ‘acceptable’ when we partake of the cancel culture environment. We have to fit in with the shifting sands of cultural acceptability where there is no redemption, just running from reprimands.
And in our efforts of striving we place our own expectations on other people and become disappointed when they don’t measure up either.
We make idols of people, achievements, and attributes in our attempts to become our best selves.
All of these things show that we don’t really know God or His gospel.
I hadn’t read that verse in Psalm that I wrote at the beginning of this review in that translation before. You may recognize the verse as ‘Be still and know that I am God.’ But I like that adjustment in wording.
Cease striving. And know God.
If we know God then we know he loves us and has always loved us before we ever did anything good or bad. If we know the gospel we know that we can never do enough to earn our salvation. We can never be good enough. But we don’t have to be. Jesus took our sin and bestowed on us his righteousness.
I reflected on that verse a few years ago in this blog post. But I hadn’t considered this aspect of what ‘be still’ entails. It’s not just to trust God in the storms and destruction and chaos of life.
It’s to relinquish both the outcomes and the outworkings.
Striving leads to our own exaltation.
Resting in grace leads to God’s exaltation who sanctifies us through his Spirit not our efforts.
Part Two
The last chapters remind us what grace actually does for us.
Grace:
- makes us new
- fuels good works
- cancels our debt
- rewrites our stories
- replaces fear with freedom
- makes forgiveness possible
Grace is such a common Christian word that sometimes I think we forget what it means. We may believe ourselves unworthy of it, or we may use it as an excuse to even try to obey at all.
I think it’s a tough balance between obedience and pursuing holiness, yet resisting our desires to earn our salvation and our worth.
Here Ruth helps us visualize how grace plays out in our lives.
In one chapter she asks what we find hard to forgive in others. Then she says that if it’s something you can measure in yourself, you’re missing God’s grace. I thought it was really interesting to ponder the things that are hard for me to forgive and to realize how those things are a reflection of what I’m trying to measure and live up to in myself.
Extending forgiveness acknowledges our own failures and our own need for forgiveness. It relinquishes our self-given right to judge others’ righteousness. And it shows us where we have placed a barrier in ourselves against God’s grace.
Another thing she talked about that resonated with me was this quote:
“Rest and satisfaction are essentially what awaited the Israelites in the promised land. Rest from their toils and striving, satisfaction for their hunger and longings. And you may remember, they couldn’t access God’s promised rest in their disbelief, fear, and distrust. They couldn’t receive the land even when they tried to take it with their own hands with fervor… The Israelites did not settle the Land of Milk and Honey until they believed and trusted the God who promised it.”
I reflected on the promised land and God’s deliverance of us from our slavery to our sin and worship of self in this blog post. Ruth gives us this good reminder that the benefits of God’s grace only come when we trust in his deliverance and stop trying to control everything and manage our morality.
Real freedom comes from surrendering not striving.
Conclusion
Ruth ends her book with this summary:
“Strivings cease when…
… we no longer need to prove our worth.
… we stop chasing approval as our comfort.
… we glory in our weakness.
… God is greater than our accomplishments.
… we know peace apart from pleasing others.
… God is for us and no longer against us.
… Jesus so captures our gaze we stop chasing everything else.”
This book is for everyone. Battling the striving mentality is a daily endeavor. This book is relatable and convicting. It will bring the meaning of ‘grace’ back to life for you and offers you the best way out of the exhaustion and disappointment.
I can’t help but read the title of this book and think of the song In Christ Alone. Such a fitting title of a song and lyrics that remind us that He is all we need. He is our hope and our peace. When strivings cease.
“In Christ alone my hope is found
He is my light, my strength, my song
This cornerstone, this solid ground
Firm through the fiercest drought and storm
What heights of love, what depths of peace
When fears are stilled, when strivings cease
My comforter, my all in all
Here in the love of Christ I stand.”
More Quotes
[because she says it better than I can]
“We’re working so hard to bloom, to bend, to please that we’ve neglected the soil from which we flourish.”
“We can’t know true freedom if we expect grace to make us merely better, rather than completely new.”
“God wants our true worship, not our perfect performance.”
“Our efforts make us prideful, even though we still question if we’ve done enough. Because we don’t believe we‘re hopeless enough or that God is merciful enough, we become driven by merit rather than grace. But we end up feeling disappointed all the time because our standards are defined not by God’s ability but our own. And we’re trying to hold others up to the same standards.”
“Are you more concerned with your performance or God’s presence in doing the work?”
“Is being the hero of your own story actually a relief? Is self-reliance truly satisfying?”
“Social media posts, brand alignment, political affiliation, mask wearing, vaccines, protests, news channels. These are just a few areas where the collective is now shaping what we think of as acceptable. The sad part is the way we’ve come to determine someone’s worthiness based on our different definitions of acceptability. We’ve somehow replaced identity with identification.”
“When we strive to avoid shame, the antidote isn’t self-love— that’s where I think current self-help fails us as Christ followers. We don’t need to simply feel no shame; instead, we need to recognize that the entire redemption story is about shame and ‘everything Scripture says about shame converges at Jesus. From his birth to his crucifixion, the shame of the world was distilled to its most concentrated form and washed over him.’”
“We can call it spiritual discipline, hard work, commitment, or pursuit of holiness, but if it’s motivated by self-fulfillment or self-improvement, it’s not a worship of God; it’s a worship of self.”
“Without grace, we wouldn’t even know how desperately we are in need of it.”
“God’s grace isn’t an afterthought for a believer walking through unexpected circumstances; it’s the anchor.”
“Satan’s very favorite tactic, from the beginning, has been to mess with our minds and to plant seeds of doubt in God’s faithfulness, God’s forgiveness, and God’s favor. This is the trifecta of freedom in a believer’s life. His faithfulness eclipses our clawing for control; his forgiveness erases debilitating guilt and shame; and his favor eradicates our need to look anywhere else for love than God himself.”
Book Review Blog | Facebook | Pinterest
**Received a copy via Goodreads Giveaway**