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2022: A book right up my alley!
If I had a nickel for every time I said "tell me something I don't know, Dr. Murthy" while reading this book, I'd probably have a solid $10. I agreed with pretty much everything he said. However, Dr. Murthy did not write this book for me. This book is definitely geared towards introverts, written by an introvert. Do not let the title of the book push you away from this if you are an introvert! Dr. Murthy definitely spends a lot of time working through how he himself tackles social connection while leaving plenty of recharge time in his life.
I can't get over the TIMING of this book. This book was published in April 2020, leaving just enough opportunity for Dr. Murthy to whip together a short forward acknowledging that the world had just started social distancing, and who knows what the future would hold for Covid. Well, BUDDY, let me tell you, this was not the greatest time to write a book about how I need to spend an hour every day in face to face connection with the people I love, because that's a little difficult right now!
It was also a little hard reading this while living 3,000 miles away from most of my friends and family. Dr. Murthy tells the story of his family member who moved from India to the US, away from his wife and children, and ultimately hanged himself. Not encouraging! On top of that, Dr. Murthy spends a lot of time examining our societal social connections, and how our common practices can leave more people feeling lonely on a much larger scale. Very interesting to read about how lonely employees quit their jobs way more often than employees who aren't lonely and what that means for the future of remote work...
Obviously my favorite chapter was all about the extrovert Sarah, who built a 20' table for her backyard and regularly hosts neighborhood gatherings there because she wants all of the people in her life to have opportunities to connect - she is a "people gatherer"! We STAN. I can't wait to build my own 20' table for my backyard!!
If I had a nickel for every time I said "tell me something I don't know, Dr. Murthy" while reading this book, I'd probably have a solid $10. I agreed with pretty much everything he said. However, Dr. Murthy did not write this book for me. This book is definitely geared towards introverts, written by an introvert. Do not let the title of the book push you away from this if you are an introvert! Dr. Murthy definitely spends a lot of time working through how he himself tackles social connection while leaving plenty of recharge time in his life.
I can't get over the TIMING of this book. This book was published in April 2020, leaving just enough opportunity for Dr. Murthy to whip together a short forward acknowledging that the world had just started social distancing, and who knows what the future would hold for Covid. Well, BUDDY, let me tell you, this was not the greatest time to write a book about how I need to spend an hour every day in face to face connection with the people I love, because that's a little difficult right now!
It was also a little hard reading this while living 3,000 miles away from most of my friends and family. Dr. Murthy tells the story of his family member who moved from India to the US, away from his wife and children, and ultimately hanged himself. Not encouraging! On top of that, Dr. Murthy spends a lot of time examining our societal social connections, and how our common practices can leave more people feeling lonely on a much larger scale. Very interesting to read about how lonely employees quit their jobs way more often than employees who aren't lonely and what that means for the future of remote work...
Obviously my favorite chapter was all about the extrovert Sarah, who built a 20' table for her backyard and regularly hosts neighborhood gatherings there because she wants all of the people in her life to have opportunities to connect - she is a "people gatherer"! We STAN. I can't wait to build my own 20' table for my backyard!!
2022: Whew this novel is so sweet, but I am so glad that I'm not in high school anymore.
If you're looking for an authentic experience of what it's like to be a teen today, this is a great thoughtful example. Felix is working through questioning his identity, how he feels about his best friend, what's the best way to tackle dealing with someone who hurt him, and applying to college, all at the same time. Whew! Glad I don't ever have to go through that again.
I have to say, this book tackles A LOT, but it never felt like Glee; e.g. although it deals with transphobia, racism, classism, abandonment, and a lot of other topics, it never felt like it was only scraping the top of the barrel. Rather, Callender did a great job of showing how interconnected all of these can be, and how they can really mess with a young person's head. Honestly, if I went through everything that Felix was dealing with, I am not so sure that I would believe I deserved love either. BUT YOU DEFINITELY DO, FELIX!
As opposed to how I felt when I finished [b:Together: The Healing Power of Human Connection in a Sometimes Lonely World|48989095|Together The Healing Power of Human Connection in a Sometimes Lonely World|Vivek H. Murthy|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1581412693l/48989095._SX50_.jpg|67210974], I was consistently screaming, "No Felix, you're overthinking it, that's not what's happening here, stop it" while listening to this book. Ah, the power of being 29 and not 17 anymore. This was definitely giving me [b:Turtles All the Way Down|35504431|Turtles All the Way Down|John Green|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1503002776l/35504431._SY75_.jpg|21576687] vibes; I really felt like I was in Felix's head. The only reason this book is getting 4 stars is because I just was not on board with the *drama* half of the time. Just tell him how you feel and get on with it!
I would totally recommend this book to anyone who is struggling with their own gender identities, and also would recommend it to anyone working with youth who might be in a place to help guide young people in their coming out journeys. Or just to anyone who wants to know more about what it's like to be a trans teen!
If you're looking for an authentic experience of what it's like to be a teen today, this is a great thoughtful example. Felix is working through questioning his identity, how he feels about his best friend, what's the best way to tackle dealing with someone who hurt him, and applying to college, all at the same time. Whew! Glad I don't ever have to go through that again.
I have to say, this book tackles A LOT, but it never felt like Glee; e.g. although it deals with transphobia, racism, classism, abandonment, and a lot of other topics, it never felt like it was only scraping the top of the barrel. Rather, Callender did a great job of showing how interconnected all of these can be, and how they can really mess with a young person's head. Honestly, if I went through everything that Felix was dealing with, I am not so sure that I would believe I deserved love either. BUT YOU DEFINITELY DO, FELIX!
As opposed to how I felt when I finished [b:Together: The Healing Power of Human Connection in a Sometimes Lonely World|48989095|Together The Healing Power of Human Connection in a Sometimes Lonely World|Vivek H. Murthy|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1581412693l/48989095._SX50_.jpg|67210974], I was consistently screaming, "No Felix, you're overthinking it, that's not what's happening here, stop it" while listening to this book. Ah, the power of being 29 and not 17 anymore. This was definitely giving me [b:Turtles All the Way Down|35504431|Turtles All the Way Down|John Green|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1503002776l/35504431._SY75_.jpg|21576687] vibes; I really felt like I was in Felix's head. The only reason this book is getting 4 stars is because I just was not on board with the *drama* half of the time. Just tell him how you feel and get on with it!
I would totally recommend this book to anyone who is struggling with their own gender identities, and also would recommend it to anyone working with youth who might be in a place to help guide young people in their coming out journeys. Or just to anyone who wants to know more about what it's like to be a trans teen!
2022: I would highly recommend reading this book while you are 29. Not sure it would work if it didn't hit me right in the gut right now.
Honestly, I couldn't even tell you what most of the plot of this book was–and it doesn't matter. What really did it for me were the emails between the two best friends. I just so enjoyed the meandering thoughts, the questions about God and how religion fits into their lives now, the plans and hopes and dreams for the future. It was a lovely balance of definitely being adults, but not yet quite pinned down into marriages or home ownership or any of the other qualifications of being a "real" adult. Kinda how I feel right now!
It was also very fascinating and meta to watch Rooney dissect her own experience around being successful rather young, and what that does to one's self image through the character of Alice. She's been quite open about the pressure of success after you've had one breakthrough moment. It was also hard not to immediately think that everything that happened in this book must be autobiographical and must have happened in Rooney's life. I loved the discussion and that Rooney went there in this novel.
Personally, I really enjoyed this book. Sure, Felix was annoying and I didn't think he was the right choice for Alice, and maybe Simon was a little too self-righteous, and maybe Alice was often selfish, and Eileen expected everyone to read her mind all of the time. But I could see elements of myself at age 29 in all of these characters, and definitely in the relationships I have with the people around me.
The COVID references in the epilogue totally threw me and I didn't love that. Also, my eternal struggle with Sally Rooney and her reluctance to use quotation marks - ugh! What also ground my gears in this book were her paragraphless pages. Double ugh!
Honestly, I couldn't even tell you what most of the plot of this book was–and it doesn't matter. What really did it for me were the emails between the two best friends. I just so enjoyed the meandering thoughts, the questions about God and how religion fits into their lives now, the plans and hopes and dreams for the future. It was a lovely balance of definitely being adults, but not yet quite pinned down into marriages or home ownership or any of the other qualifications of being a "real" adult. Kinda how I feel right now!
It was also very fascinating and meta to watch Rooney dissect her own experience around being successful rather young, and what that does to one's self image through the character of Alice. She's been quite open about the pressure of success after you've had one breakthrough moment. It was also hard not to immediately think that everything that happened in this book must be autobiographical and must have happened in Rooney's life. I loved the discussion and that Rooney went there in this novel.
Personally, I really enjoyed this book. Sure, Felix was annoying and I didn't think he was the right choice for Alice, and maybe Simon was a little too self-righteous, and maybe Alice was often selfish, and Eileen expected everyone to read her mind all of the time. But I could see elements of myself at age 29 in all of these characters, and definitely in the relationships I have with the people around me.
The COVID references in the epilogue totally threw me and I didn't love that. Also, my eternal struggle with Sally Rooney and her reluctance to use quotation marks - ugh! What also ground my gears in this book were her paragraphless pages. Double ugh!
2022: A perfect companion for anyone looking to be a better ally or learn more about people with disabilities.
When you hear the phrase "do the work", "do your research", or "don't expect us to educate you, find the resources yourself", this is the book we are talking about! Plenty of books and educational materials exist about the disabled community; don't expect your disabled friends to take on the burden of having to educate you if they don't want to.
Luckily, Emily Ladau is here to answer all of your questions, ones you have had for a while, and ones you've never even thought about. She does a wonderful job of navigating some universal truths about the disabled community, while allowing for a wide variety of opinions and responses. Trying to nail down exactly how every single disabled person will respond to a situation is a bit like saying that all left-handed people will respond a certain way. Sure, they might all hate spiral bound notebooks, but that's about the limit to the generalizations you can make.
I thought that Ladau was an extremely patient guide and super encouraging, no matter your previous experience with the disabled community. She was very certain on some unwavering no-no's, but will be happy to hold your hand as you ask questions and continue to learn and grow. I would feel very comfortable sharing this with my parents, with my friends, with pretty much anyone at any level. Give it a read, because an estimated 15% of Americans are disabled, and it's up to you to do the work.
When you hear the phrase "do the work", "do your research", or "don't expect us to educate you, find the resources yourself", this is the book we are talking about! Plenty of books and educational materials exist about the disabled community; don't expect your disabled friends to take on the burden of having to educate you if they don't want to.
Luckily, Emily Ladau is here to answer all of your questions, ones you have had for a while, and ones you've never even thought about. She does a wonderful job of navigating some universal truths about the disabled community, while allowing for a wide variety of opinions and responses. Trying to nail down exactly how every single disabled person will respond to a situation is a bit like saying that all left-handed people will respond a certain way. Sure, they might all hate spiral bound notebooks, but that's about the limit to the generalizations you can make.
I thought that Ladau was an extremely patient guide and super encouraging, no matter your previous experience with the disabled community. She was very certain on some unwavering no-no's, but will be happy to hold your hand as you ask questions and continue to learn and grow. I would feel very comfortable sharing this with my parents, with my friends, with pretty much anyone at any level. Give it a read, because an estimated 15% of Americans are disabled, and it's up to you to do the work.
2022: It's a miracle that Patti Smith has survived as long as she did.
Okay, so this is a personal pet peeve of mine - I really don't enjoy stories about people who just "showed up" and magically, they became successful. This is not to say that I don't think Smith was a talented painter, poet, or singer. But the entire first half of this book is essentially "look at how insane it was that we didn't die!" and that just turned me off. The fact that Smith "made it" is purely dumb luck (according to the stories in this memoir).
This book is a wonderful discussion of a friendship, and the love that Patti and Robert had for each other is palpable on every page. At the same time, they were so naive! How did they make it, just by casually running into other famous people in the right place at the right time!? Another review called this book "an acquired taste" and I have to wholeheartedly agree.
Another big thing that irked me about this book was Smith's reluctance to explain who ANYONE was. And maybe to anyone who was alive in the 1970's, explanations would have been unnecessary. But I really feel like I only recognized Bruce Springsteen's & Andy Warhol's names, and I had to google SO MANY other people. It felt like Smith was just name-dropping along the way, and I was never really sure whether someone was a veritable influence, or just a passing glance along the way.
Maybe the big takeaway here is that the rock and roll lifestyle is just not for me. I knew that, and this book confirmed that.
Okay, so this is a personal pet peeve of mine - I really don't enjoy stories about people who just "showed up" and magically, they became successful. This is not to say that I don't think Smith was a talented painter, poet, or singer. But the entire first half of this book is essentially "look at how insane it was that we didn't die!" and that just turned me off. The fact that Smith "made it" is purely dumb luck (according to the stories in this memoir).
This book is a wonderful discussion of a friendship, and the love that Patti and Robert had for each other is palpable on every page. At the same time, they were so naive! How did they make it, just by casually running into other famous people in the right place at the right time!? Another review called this book "an acquired taste" and I have to wholeheartedly agree.
Another big thing that irked me about this book was Smith's reluctance to explain who ANYONE was. And maybe to anyone who was alive in the 1970's, explanations would have been unnecessary. But I really feel like I only recognized Bruce Springsteen's & Andy Warhol's names, and I had to google SO MANY other people. It felt like Smith was just name-dropping along the way, and I was never really sure whether someone was a veritable influence, or just a passing glance along the way.
Maybe the big takeaway here is that the rock and roll lifestyle is just not for me. I knew that, and this book confirmed that.
2022: A book about books for book people
Did I bring this book with me for some *light* reading on a bachelorette party weekend? Absolutely I did. Would I recommend you do the same? Probably not. Unless you're ready to be convinced that the best thing you could do would be to immediately apply to library school and spend the rest of your life as a librarian. Which I am strongly considering right now.
This book was a fabulous ode to the library, how it shaped a woman's life, and how they protect and serve our communities at all levels. Orlean spends time diving into how the homeless benefit from access at their local public libraries, as well as how wealthy billionaires participated in saving some of these revered institutions. Oh yeah, and the Los Angeles Central Library burned down in 1986.
Although that is the primary premise of this book and digging up some facts about it was the reason it was written, the book almost didn't feel like it was about the fire. Sure, it was present in every chapter, but the more I learned about the characters who were currently working at the library or who had been an employee in the past, the more I felt like this book would have been better served as a straight up Library memoir. I guess the fire helped to anchor the story and give it a narrative, but (spoiler alert?) they never concretely find out who did it or how the fire actually was started. So the narrative ended up feeling like an unnecessary plot device instead.
Thank you to everyone who recommended I read it, because you were 100% right, this was right up my alley!
Did I bring this book with me for some *light* reading on a bachelorette party weekend? Absolutely I did. Would I recommend you do the same? Probably not. Unless you're ready to be convinced that the best thing you could do would be to immediately apply to library school and spend the rest of your life as a librarian. Which I am strongly considering right now.
This book was a fabulous ode to the library, how it shaped a woman's life, and how they protect and serve our communities at all levels. Orlean spends time diving into how the homeless benefit from access at their local public libraries, as well as how wealthy billionaires participated in saving some of these revered institutions. Oh yeah, and the Los Angeles Central Library burned down in 1986.
Although that is the primary premise of this book and digging up some facts about it was the reason it was written, the book almost didn't feel like it was about the fire. Sure, it was present in every chapter, but the more I learned about the characters who were currently working at the library or who had been an employee in the past, the more I felt like this book would have been better served as a straight up Library memoir. I guess the fire helped to anchor the story and give it a narrative, but (spoiler alert?) they never concretely find out who did it or how the fire actually was started. So the narrative ended up feeling like an unnecessary plot device instead.
Thank you to everyone who recommended I read it, because you were 100% right, this was right up my alley!
2022: This is a BRUTAL read. Do not read if you're not in a good headspace for extremely graphic content about rape.
I'll back up a second here: rape is a brutal act. According to some therapists interviewed for this book, rape and war have similar impacts on one's psyche, and cause similar levels of PTSD experienced in patients. So by its own nature, any book that discusses rape is going to be brutal and graphic. But this was a very intense book to listen to, and I really had to check where I was listening to it. I listened to a couple chapters while doing some data entry at work, and I had to turn it off because I was so riled up.
Krakauer takes it a step further in this incredible piece of long-form journalism. There are extensive interviews with the survivors of sexual assault and full transcripts of the courtroom battles these women* had to go through. It was incredibly frustrating to hear about the seven hundred hoops that women who are raped need to go through, just to get their cases to TRIAL. It's absolutely heart-wrenching and horrible to listen to. It's even more infuriating when I think of all of the women in my life who have been sexually assaulted or raped, and those are only the women I know about. According to the statistics, there are plenty more that I don't know about.
One element that I find most fascinating is that Krakauer decided to name the book Missoula as opposed to Rape or something a little more general. Obviously, it was a conscious decision to name the book after the town as opposed to the act or college itself. Also, Krakauer spends a lot of the book discussing how this problem is not only localized to Missoula; rather, Missoula happens to be a very emblematic example of the issue of rape on college campuses. I choose to see that Krakauer wanted to highlight his frustration with the people in power in Missoula specifically (some of whom, *ahem* Kirsten Pabst *ahem*, are still in power today UGH).
In the end, the combination of my own opinions and Krakauer’s writing meant that I was SO FIRMLY on the victims’ side here. It was really incredibly hard for me to see any gray areas here (BECAUSE THERE ARE NONE) and every single one of these stories is awful. AWFUL. Teach better sex education, teach your kids what consent is, how to give it and how to take it away, and teach your sons NOT TO RAPE PEOPLE.
*Krakauer definitely acknowledges that it's not only women who raped, but the only survivors interviewed for this book are women.
I'll back up a second here: rape is a brutal act. According to some therapists interviewed for this book, rape and war have similar impacts on one's psyche, and cause similar levels of PTSD experienced in patients. So by its own nature, any book that discusses rape is going to be brutal and graphic. But this was a very intense book to listen to, and I really had to check where I was listening to it. I listened to a couple chapters while doing some data entry at work, and I had to turn it off because I was so riled up.
Krakauer takes it a step further in this incredible piece of long-form journalism. There are extensive interviews with the survivors of sexual assault and full transcripts of the courtroom battles these women* had to go through. It was incredibly frustrating to hear about the seven hundred hoops that women who are raped need to go through, just to get their cases to TRIAL. It's absolutely heart-wrenching and horrible to listen to. It's even more infuriating when I think of all of the women in my life who have been sexually assaulted or raped, and those are only the women I know about. According to the statistics, there are plenty more that I don't know about.
One element that I find most fascinating is that Krakauer decided to name the book Missoula as opposed to Rape or something a little more general. Obviously, it was a conscious decision to name the book after the town as opposed to the act or college itself. Also, Krakauer spends a lot of the book discussing how this problem is not only localized to Missoula; rather, Missoula happens to be a very emblematic example of the issue of rape on college campuses. I choose to see that Krakauer wanted to highlight his frustration with the people in power in Missoula specifically (some of whom, *ahem* Kirsten Pabst *ahem*, are still in power today UGH).
In the end, the combination of my own opinions and Krakauer’s writing meant that I was SO FIRMLY on the victims’ side here. It was really incredibly hard for me to see any gray areas here (BECAUSE THERE ARE NONE) and every single one of these stories is awful. AWFUL. Teach better sex education, teach your kids what consent is, how to give it and how to take it away, and teach your sons NOT TO RAPE PEOPLE.
*Krakauer definitely acknowledges that it's not only women who raped, but the only survivors interviewed for this book are women.
2022: Unfortunately, too over-hyped for me.
I'm pretty sure I read a book with this premise at some point in my childhood? I can't put my finger on what's triggering me remembering this idea so vividly, but I definitely had the feeling that I had read this before. Or at least the theme of being able to "go back" and try out different lives to see which one you'd be happiest in....
This isn't a bad book, but it's almost laughably predictable. I do think that there are moments that might resonate more with people who have suffered from depression or suicidal ideation. But I just didn't feel like this was the bombshell I had been led to believe it would be. Maybe if I were way more excited about the upcoming Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness than I am. Would recommend to fans of the multiverse theory and parallel universes and want to see a thorough example of how that might actually play out!
I read a review that said that all of the tragedy in the book was muted by the fact that there are limitless opportunities to fix things - yes! I felt this so much. I also don't feel like I got a chance to really meet any of the other characters in the book, because they all acted so differently (or were dead) in all of the separate timelines. There didn't seem to be an end goal for Nora - she didn't know what she wanted, and she didn't even want to live for most of it. Not a narrator that I felt like I could get behind.
I'm pretty sure I read a book with this premise at some point in my childhood? I can't put my finger on what's triggering me remembering this idea so vividly, but I definitely had the feeling that I had read this before. Or at least the theme of being able to "go back" and try out different lives to see which one you'd be happiest in....
This isn't a bad book, but it's almost laughably predictable. I do think that there are moments that might resonate more with people who have suffered from depression or suicidal ideation. But I just didn't feel like this was the bombshell I had been led to believe it would be. Maybe if I were way more excited about the upcoming Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness than I am. Would recommend to fans of the multiverse theory and parallel universes and want to see a thorough example of how that might actually play out!
I read a review that said that all of the tragedy in the book was muted by the fact that there are limitless opportunities to fix things - yes! I felt this so much. I also don't feel like I got a chance to really meet any of the other characters in the book, because they all acted so differently (or were dead) in all of the separate timelines. There didn't seem to be an end goal for Nora - she didn't know what she wanted, and she didn't even want to live for most of it. Not a narrator that I felt like I could get behind.
2022: What a disappointment!
After enjoying [b:The Kiss Quotient|36199084|The Kiss Quotient (The Kiss Quotient, #1)|Helen Hoang|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1527983633l/36199084._SX50_.jpg|57828311], I was super excited to get my hands on the next in the series, The Bride Test. I was really disappointed to read this one though; it had the opposite problem in my opinion. In TKQ, there was honestly so much sex that the background story didn't really matter. It certainly did not distract from the main plot of banging as much and as often as possible, and the book was definitely *satisfying*.
TBT had the opposite problem: definitely not enough sex, and WAY too much going on that was not properly developed. I think what bothered me the most was that the main storyline included A LOT of trauma and big, heavy things that our characters were dealing with. The premise as laid out in the first chapter is really problematic, as a mother tricks a woman she meets spontaneously on a trip to Vietnam to come back to the United States, move in with her "unloveable" son, and attempt to win him over. Um, just because Khai is autistic doesn't mean that he's unloveable or needs his mother to try and get him a mail-order bride? Esme is trying to provide for her daughter and decides to go for it, but then spends the whole time pretending that she's an accountant who doesn't have a child? Also, Khai seemingly spontaneously *got over* his guilt and grief surrounding the death of his best friend because Quan...told him to? When Esme told Khai that she actually had a secret child living in Vietnam that he would soon be the step-father of, his response was...that's cool. AND THAT'S IT?! OH and I almost completely forgot about the subplot in which Esme is also trying to find her long lost father (who doesn't know she exists) who went to UC Berkeley but now lives in New York and shows up....the morning of her wedding? I SIMPLY CANNOT.
The characters in this novel also lied, like A LOT. There were many sentences that would explain a character's entire thought process, only for the dialogue to be the EXACT opposite of what they were thinking. Like what!? And it was mostly Esme, but also Khai, and also his mom. There were so many moments that made me think of [b:Everything I Never Told You|18693763|Everything I Never Told You|Celeste Ng|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1386795198l/18693763._SY75_.jpg|26542311] – JUST SAY WHAT YOU ACTUALLY MEAN! Communication is key here, people! And I know that Khai is autistic, so he might sometimes struggle to communicate, but that doesn't mean he should lie! Being autistic doesn't make you a liar! Ugh
+1 props to Helen Hoang for continuing to write about neurodivergent characters. I will be checking out Quan's story because he was 100% the best part of this book.
After enjoying [b:The Kiss Quotient|36199084|The Kiss Quotient (The Kiss Quotient, #1)|Helen Hoang|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1527983633l/36199084._SX50_.jpg|57828311], I was super excited to get my hands on the next in the series, The Bride Test. I was really disappointed to read this one though; it had the opposite problem in my opinion. In TKQ, there was honestly so much sex that the background story didn't really matter. It certainly did not distract from the main plot of banging as much and as often as possible, and the book was definitely *satisfying*.
TBT had the opposite problem: definitely not enough sex, and WAY too much going on that was not properly developed. I think what bothered me the most was that the main storyline included A LOT of trauma and big, heavy things that our characters were dealing with. The premise as laid out in the first chapter is really problematic, as a mother tricks a woman she meets spontaneously on a trip to Vietnam to come back to the United States, move in with her "unloveable" son, and attempt to win him over. Um, just because Khai is autistic doesn't mean that he's unloveable or needs his mother to try and get him a mail-order bride? Esme is trying to provide for her daughter and decides to go for it, but then spends the whole time pretending that she's an accountant who doesn't have a child? Also, Khai seemingly spontaneously *got over* his guilt and grief surrounding the death of his best friend because Quan...told him to? When Esme told Khai that she actually had a secret child living in Vietnam that he would soon be the step-father of, his response was...that's cool. AND THAT'S IT?! OH and I almost completely forgot about the subplot in which Esme is also trying to find her long lost father (who doesn't know she exists) who went to UC Berkeley but now lives in New York and shows up....the morning of her wedding? I SIMPLY CANNOT.
The characters in this novel also lied, like A LOT. There were many sentences that would explain a character's entire thought process, only for the dialogue to be the EXACT opposite of what they were thinking. Like what!? And it was mostly Esme, but also Khai, and also his mom. There were so many moments that made me think of [b:Everything I Never Told You|18693763|Everything I Never Told You|Celeste Ng|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1386795198l/18693763._SY75_.jpg|26542311] – JUST SAY WHAT YOU ACTUALLY MEAN! Communication is key here, people! And I know that Khai is autistic, so he might sometimes struggle to communicate, but that doesn't mean he should lie! Being autistic doesn't make you a liar! Ugh
+1 props to Helen Hoang for continuing to write about neurodivergent characters. I will be checking out Quan's story because he was 100% the best part of this book.
2022: I did not think the politics book written by the straight white guy was going to be the first one to make me laugh out loud MULTIPLE times this year, but you win, David Litt.
I've read a bunch of books of various staffers' perspectives on what life was like in the White House under Obama (including but not limited to [b:Who Thought This Was a Good Idea?: And Other Questions You Should Have Answers to When You Work in the White House|31176294|Who Thought This Was a Good Idea? And Other Questions You Should Have Answers to When You Work in the White House|Alyssa Mastromonaco|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1480286429l/31176294._SX50_.jpg|51813578] and [b:The Education of an Idealist: A Memoir|42872088|The Education of an Idealist A Memoir|Samantha Power|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1565398168l/42872088._SY75_.jpg|66662066]). Thanks, Obama should not be left off your list. I appreciated that Litt acknowledged his privilege several times throughout, and enjoyed his anecdotes about being so close, yet so far, on the White House's metaphorical ladder even more.
Here's a brief collection of some of my favorite quotes. If any of them make you laugh, you will enjoy this book.
"I would have set myself on fire before allowing a sophomore to direct my improv comedy group. When it came to running the country, however, I was pretty sure a freshman Senator could figure it out."
"I don't mean to imply that 2009 was an endless series of House of Cards sex-murders in a desperate climb to the top."
"This was my third chance to make a second first impression on the president."
"How many people have met Barack Obama? Tens of thousands, maybe even hundreds of thousands. How many people have found a salmon in the toilet at work?"
"Blinded by my business card, she had leaned in to kiss Rob Lowe's character from The West Wing and instead made contact with me."
"As far as I can tell, the DNC headquarters was designed by someone who had never seen a building before."
"Then, the [well-meaning white people] return to their burrows to eat açaí berries and purchase Jonathan Franzen novels they'll never read."
"So I'm looking through these pictures of the president with the First Lady's bangs, and I'm just wondering, is the joke supposed to be that POTUS looks like Hitler?"
"At age nineteen, for example, I was disciplined for falling short of a science requirement. Jared was disciplined for machine-gunning a dolphin during an offshore training exercise."
"Free from responsibility, Sunny bounded recklessly and put his paws all over everything, like Prince Harry before he settled down."
I've read a bunch of books of various staffers' perspectives on what life was like in the White House under Obama (including but not limited to [b:Who Thought This Was a Good Idea?: And Other Questions You Should Have Answers to When You Work in the White House|31176294|Who Thought This Was a Good Idea? And Other Questions You Should Have Answers to When You Work in the White House|Alyssa Mastromonaco|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1480286429l/31176294._SX50_.jpg|51813578] and [b:The Education of an Idealist: A Memoir|42872088|The Education of an Idealist A Memoir|Samantha Power|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1565398168l/42872088._SY75_.jpg|66662066]). Thanks, Obama should not be left off your list. I appreciated that Litt acknowledged his privilege several times throughout, and enjoyed his anecdotes about being so close, yet so far, on the White House's metaphorical ladder even more.
Here's a brief collection of some of my favorite quotes. If any of them make you laugh, you will enjoy this book.
"I would have set myself on fire before allowing a sophomore to direct my improv comedy group. When it came to running the country, however, I was pretty sure a freshman Senator could figure it out."
"I don't mean to imply that 2009 was an endless series of House of Cards sex-murders in a desperate climb to the top."
"This was my third chance to make a second first impression on the president."
"How many people have met Barack Obama? Tens of thousands, maybe even hundreds of thousands. How many people have found a salmon in the toilet at work?"
"Blinded by my business card, she had leaned in to kiss Rob Lowe's character from The West Wing and instead made contact with me."
"As far as I can tell, the DNC headquarters was designed by someone who had never seen a building before."
"Then, the [well-meaning white people] return to their burrows to eat açaí berries and purchase Jonathan Franzen novels they'll never read."
"So I'm looking through these pictures of the president with the First Lady's bangs, and I'm just wondering, is the joke supposed to be that POTUS looks like Hitler?"
"At age nineteen, for example, I was disciplined for falling short of a science requirement. Jared was disciplined for machine-gunning a dolphin during an offshore training exercise."
"Free from responsibility, Sunny bounded recklessly and put his paws all over everything, like Prince Harry before he settled down."