I'm just going to preface this review by saying that I don't think this is a bad story. It is just a story told incredibly poorly. 

Joe Hill has all of the makings of an interesting concept: a contagious disease that eventually kills people by spontaneous combustion, a roving gang of toughs trying to exterminate them, and a pregnant woman trying to find a safe place. He has created an intriguing universe, but the characters in it are just saltines. Bland and boring with barely a hint of flavor. Not only that, but the story he chooses to tell feels like such a tiny portion of a much more interesting universe. And he tells it badly.

The dialogue is absurd and stilted, often inexplicably verbose and reminiscent of an old Dawson's Creek episode. No one talks like this. The protagonist is an idealized, saintly blonde nurse who the author is clearly in love with, and the rest of the characters are just forgettable. Even the titular fireman is boring. And the SINGING, I could not understand how a novel could have so much SINGING in it.

But the worst part is the smattering of pop culture references that feel like they were just thrown at the book to see what would stick. There is a strange Mary Poppins through-line that feels completely unnecessary and shoehorned-in, like the only purpose is to let the reader know that Joe Hill is obsessed with the movie.

This is not an aggressively BAD book, it's just a waste of time. It tells an incredibly long-winded story that could have easily been cut in half and kept more than enough plot. Joe Hill's writing feels juvenile and weird, like he's never heard real people have an actual conversation. I do not recommend this book, unless you want to feel very let down and confused.