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readwithmesashamarie
The Astronaut Who Painted the Moon is a biographical picture book about Alan Bean, one of the first astronauts to ever land on the moon.
The storytelling in this biography was really lovely. It weaved between two timelines; Alan Bean as an adult and Alan Bean during his childhood. The art followed a specific color scheme throughout as well, which was beautifully executed.
The amount of research that went into this biography was impressive and appreciated. The last few pages of the book are filled with timelines of real events, and more information on Alan Bean's life.
The overarching message from this book, and from Alan Bean himself, was that he saw himself as an artist who was also once an astronaut. The message encourages children to pursue all t heir passions, regardless of whether they are intellectual, artistic, or physical passions.
After reading this novel I'd like to learn more about Alan Bean's life, and how he managed to balance his passion for art and his knowledge of space exploration. It further proves that you really can do anything you set your mind to.
The storytelling in this biography was really lovely. It weaved between two timelines; Alan Bean as an adult and Alan Bean during his childhood. The art followed a specific color scheme throughout as well, which was beautifully executed.
The amount of research that went into this biography was impressive and appreciated. The last few pages of the book are filled with timelines of real events, and more information on Alan Bean's life.
The overarching message from this book, and from Alan Bean himself, was that he saw himself as an artist who was also once an astronaut. The message encourages children to pursue all t heir passions, regardless of whether they are intellectual, artistic, or physical passions.
After reading this novel I'd like to learn more about Alan Bean's life, and how he managed to balance his passion for art and his knowledge of space exploration. It further proves that you really can do anything you set your mind to.
This was a really fun elementary grade chapter book. It’s listed for our junior readers, grades Kindergarten through Second grade, but it is definitely a higher difficulty for these students. This book would work great as a read-aloud, or for kiddos who are reading way above their reading level.
This is the first book in a brand new series about pocket sized pirates! In this adventure, the pocket sizes pirates realize their cat has been taken hostage by the evil mice that roam the junk shop, where they all live. Every few pages include wonderfully funny illustrations, depicting the heist and goings on of the pocket pirates on their adventure to get their cat back!
The pocket pirates end up using the Trojan Horse method to rescue their cat. I really enjoyed how this fun light-hearted story, was able to add a quick history lesson right in the middle of all the action. For such a quick read (for me, as a 27 year old avid reader) I thought the characters were fleshed out really well. Each pocket pirate had a distinct personality, good qualities, and flaws. These qualities and flaws helped the pirates work together as a team to rescue their faithful friend.
This story was a bunch of fun! I’m going to be encouraging more of my students, and even our teachers, to be checking this one out and enjoying it in their classrooms.
This is the first book in a brand new series about pocket sized pirates! In this adventure, the pocket sizes pirates realize their cat has been taken hostage by the evil mice that roam the junk shop, where they all live. Every few pages include wonderfully funny illustrations, depicting the heist and goings on of the pocket pirates on their adventure to get their cat back!
The pocket pirates end up using the Trojan Horse method to rescue their cat. I really enjoyed how this fun light-hearted story, was able to add a quick history lesson right in the middle of all the action. For such a quick read (for me, as a 27 year old avid reader) I thought the characters were fleshed out really well. Each pocket pirate had a distinct personality, good qualities, and flaws. These qualities and flaws helped the pirates work together as a team to rescue their faithful friend.
This story was a bunch of fun! I’m going to be encouraging more of my students, and even our teachers, to be checking this one out and enjoying it in their classrooms.
Serafina’s Promise was beautifully told, and haunted me well after reading. I gave this book to a coworker on a whim when she asked for a book recommendation. I hadn’t read this book myself, but I knew there was some literary buzz surrounding it. She came in to work the next day saying this was one of the only books she has ever read in one sitting, and she was completely devastated by the ending. I couldn’t let her bear the pain alone, so by the next day I had taken the book home myself and finished it that night.
This novel is written in prose, and flows so well that after the first few pages I barely noticed the difference compared to ‘traditional’ novels. We follow a young girl living in Haiti, who has dreams bigger than her circumstances. We experience major traumatic events from her point of view: the death of her brother, a flash flood, and an earthquake. For a majority of these tragic events our main character remains naive, and unable to even name what she has gone through. Time passes in sharp flashes of imagery, sounds, or internal fear. These scenes felt very raw, and were often hard to read.
Serafina wants to become a doctor, so she can save more sick babies like her two brothers. She struggles to save enough money to attend school, and realizes rather quickly that she isn’t learning how to become a doctor. Instead she’s mostly being taught how to read, write, and speak another language. My favorite part of this novel is when a local female doctor, and Serafina’s mentor of sorts, explains to her that while it doesn’t make sense right now she does need to learn French in order to become a doctor. But maybe one day, Serafina can grow up and change things for young girls like her. Maybe one day she can teach them to become doctors, while also teaching them in their own native language, Creole.
I absolutely loved this book, and would recommend it to any of my students. It was such a dark, but hopeful story. The perspective of a young Haitian girl, pursuing her dreams despite the harsh realities around her, is a perspective we do not hear enough of in children’s literature. Or maybe I’m not doing my due diligence as a librarian, and seeking out this kind of representation. It’s on my radar now, and I’ll make sure I read more stories like Serafina’s.
This novel is written in prose, and flows so well that after the first few pages I barely noticed the difference compared to ‘traditional’ novels. We follow a young girl living in Haiti, who has dreams bigger than her circumstances. We experience major traumatic events from her point of view: the death of her brother, a flash flood, and an earthquake. For a majority of these tragic events our main character remains naive, and unable to even name what she has gone through. Time passes in sharp flashes of imagery, sounds, or internal fear. These scenes felt very raw, and were often hard to read.
Serafina wants to become a doctor, so she can save more sick babies like her two brothers. She struggles to save enough money to attend school, and realizes rather quickly that she isn’t learning how to become a doctor. Instead she’s mostly being taught how to read, write, and speak another language. My favorite part of this novel is when a local female doctor, and Serafina’s mentor of sorts, explains to her that while it doesn’t make sense right now she does need to learn French in order to become a doctor. But maybe one day, Serafina can grow up and change things for young girls like her. Maybe one day she can teach them to become doctors, while also teaching them in their own native language, Creole.
I absolutely loved this book, and would recommend it to any of my students. It was such a dark, but hopeful story. The perspective of a young Haitian girl, pursuing her dreams despite the harsh realities around her, is a perspective we do not hear enough of in children’s literature. Or maybe I’m not doing my due diligence as a librarian, and seeking out this kind of representation. It’s on my radar now, and I’ll make sure I read more stories like Serafina’s.
Leigh Bardugo is an autobuy author for me these days. If I don’t have the funds to buy her newest release, you can bet your bottom dollar that my name is the first on the holds list for one of her newest books at my library. So when I saw the buzz surrounding Ninth House, and the fact that it was her first dabble into adult fiction, I. Was. There.
I read the Grisha Trilogy way back in the day, and devoured it! Then I went on to Six of Crows and, while I really enjoyed the story and the characters, it didn’t grab my attention as much as the Grishaverse did. I think the difference between these two series, while set in the same world, one focused heavily on fantasy and magic, while the other focused much more on gritty real world scenarios (set in a fantastical world).
I ran into similar ‘problems’ with Ninth House. Not that there were problems with Ninth House, but I really really really enjoy high fantasy, and this was pretty mild urban fantasy at best. I was a little worried when I first picked up this book by how many words I didn’t know on each page! It has been such a long time since an author has stumped me with their vocabulary left and right. I actually decided halfway through the book that the next time I read this, I’m going to make flashcards with all the words I didn’t know. It was definitely a good introduction to the Yale vibe of this novel, and the intentional mask of the prim and proper setting.
This novel follows a girl names Alex as she is indoctrinated into a hidden society at Yale. Her main job is to keep everyone honest and to be a physical reminder that they are not above the law. We quickly learn that things are not going as smoothly as one would hope, when a girl is murdered, and one of Alex's friends goes missing. This novel flashes from the past, the present, and between two distinct characters. I liked that we got to view two unique character voices in this novel, but it did take away from seeing Alex with her roommates. For some reason it felt like a loss or a blow that we didn't get a lot of interaction between those characters, but that was also because Alex was almost never at her dorm.
I also felt like the true college experience was really lacking in this novel. A subplot throughout is the will-she-won't-she be able to pass her classes and stay at Yale next year, yet we never really saw her study, or attend class, or do anything to cement her emotional connection to her education. We are told repeatedly how important it is that she stays in school, yet we're never shown what actions she takes to solidify her spot at Yale. So when the time came for her to either stay in college or be kicked out, I didn't really care either way. I wasn't invested in that part of the story, because it was barely there to begin with.
There were one or two times in this novel that really got to me, and this book should come with a few trigger warnings for drug abuse and rape. One scene in particular was so vulgar it has stuck with me vividly since the day I read it. I’m cursing my own imagination, and Leigh’s brilliant writing, for how easy it was for me to conjure it up in my mind. However I don’t think the scene was unnecessarily vulgar. It established a character trait (and fear) that helped you understand the main character a lot more for the duration of the novel.
I really think this novel was a step up from Six of Crows. Yes, I know I can’t say the stories are the same because they clearly are not, but hear me out. In Six of Crows we are diverting from high fantasy and magic and mixing harsh reality with fantasy. Ninth House takes this to the next level. In Ninth House we are even further removed from fantasy, and we’re really looking at the human experience: the good, the bad, and the really really bad. Of course there are a few ghosts and spells mixed in, but for me this novel was an expose on human nature and psychology.
The ending leads me to believe that there will be a second book in this series...if so, I’m in! This novel was, at times, hard to get through. For some of the time I thought we could be dealing with an unreliable narrator, and that proved to be sort of true. Our main character wasn’t unreliable, she had just withheld some of the truth until it became imperative that we know too. It was also hard for me to whiz through because I normally deal with strictly fantasy novels. If someone is murdered in a fantasy novel I’m much more removed from the victim or the case because the world doesn’t exist, and could never exist. In this novel, however, this Yale so mirrors our own world that it legitimately scared me at times: not the ghosts or demons, but the human beings doing atrocious things to each other. Maybe that was the point? To add magic to this story, and to still be more scared by regular people? Either way, I applaud Leigh Bardugo for stepping out of her Young Adult niche and boldly entering the Adult Fiction world. I cannot wait to see what she comes up with next.
I read the Grisha Trilogy way back in the day, and devoured it! Then I went on to Six of Crows and, while I really enjoyed the story and the characters, it didn’t grab my attention as much as the Grishaverse did. I think the difference between these two series, while set in the same world, one focused heavily on fantasy and magic, while the other focused much more on gritty real world scenarios (set in a fantastical world).
I ran into similar ‘problems’ with Ninth House. Not that there were problems with Ninth House, but I really really really enjoy high fantasy, and this was pretty mild urban fantasy at best. I was a little worried when I first picked up this book by how many words I didn’t know on each page! It has been such a long time since an author has stumped me with their vocabulary left and right. I actually decided halfway through the book that the next time I read this, I’m going to make flashcards with all the words I didn’t know. It was definitely a good introduction to the Yale vibe of this novel, and the intentional mask of the prim and proper setting.
This novel follows a girl names Alex as she is indoctrinated into a hidden society at Yale. Her main job is to keep everyone honest and to be a physical reminder that they are not above the law. We quickly learn that things are not going as smoothly as one would hope, when a girl is murdered, and one of Alex's friends goes missing. This novel flashes from the past, the present, and between two distinct characters. I liked that we got to view two unique character voices in this novel, but it did take away from seeing Alex with her roommates. For some reason it felt like a loss or a blow that we didn't get a lot of interaction between those characters, but that was also because Alex was almost never at her dorm.
I also felt like the true college experience was really lacking in this novel. A subplot throughout is the will-she-won't-she be able to pass her classes and stay at Yale next year, yet we never really saw her study, or attend class, or do anything to cement her emotional connection to her education. We are told repeatedly how important it is that she stays in school, yet we're never shown what actions she takes to solidify her spot at Yale. So when the time came for her to either stay in college or be kicked out, I didn't really care either way. I wasn't invested in that part of the story, because it was barely there to begin with.
There were one or two times in this novel that really got to me, and this book should come with a few trigger warnings for drug abuse and rape. One scene in particular was so vulgar it has stuck with me vividly since the day I read it. I’m cursing my own imagination, and Leigh’s brilliant writing, for how easy it was for me to conjure it up in my mind. However I don’t think the scene was unnecessarily vulgar. It established a character trait (and fear) that helped you understand the main character a lot more for the duration of the novel.
I really think this novel was a step up from Six of Crows. Yes, I know I can’t say the stories are the same because they clearly are not, but hear me out. In Six of Crows we are diverting from high fantasy and magic and mixing harsh reality with fantasy. Ninth House takes this to the next level. In Ninth House we are even further removed from fantasy, and we’re really looking at the human experience: the good, the bad, and the really really bad. Of course there are a few ghosts and spells mixed in, but for me this novel was an expose on human nature and psychology.
The ending leads me to believe that there will be a second book in this series...if so, I’m in! This novel was, at times, hard to get through. For some of the time I thought we could be dealing with an unreliable narrator, and that proved to be sort of true. Our main character wasn’t unreliable, she had just withheld some of the truth until it became imperative that we know too. It was also hard for me to whiz through because I normally deal with strictly fantasy novels. If someone is murdered in a fantasy novel I’m much more removed from the victim or the case because the world doesn’t exist, and could never exist. In this novel, however, this Yale so mirrors our own world that it legitimately scared me at times: not the ghosts or demons, but the human beings doing atrocious things to each other. Maybe that was the point? To add magic to this story, and to still be more scared by regular people? Either way, I applaud Leigh Bardugo for stepping out of her Young Adult niche and boldly entering the Adult Fiction world. I cannot wait to see what she comes up with next.
This is, yet again, a much overdue Netgalley ARC.
I have a soft spot for Historical Fiction, but an especially soft spot for WWII Historical Fiction. This novel was everything I didn’t realize I was missing from that genre. Instead of being directly on the front lines, and in the action overseas, we saw how women were contributing to the war efforts on U.S. soil.
I loved this novel from page one. I loved our main character, Audrey. I loved her passion for her work, even though she was in a male dominated career. I loved that she was unafraid to be herself, and boldly stand by her constitution of not wanting a husband or babies, but she never shamed other women for wanting those things! Yes, Audrey!
This novel starts off just before the attack on Pearl Harbor. It was absolutely gut wrenching knowing what was about to happen next to Audrey and her friends on that island. Audrey and her roommates were training young soldiers how to fly military aircrafts when the island is attacked. This is our first introduction to the many casualties of WWII from Audrey’s perspective.
This novel had so many elements that make it an instant favorite in my book: romance, strong independent women, high stakes, and female friendship. Audrey has a goal, and a dream. While she moves from place to place, that dream never changes. She faces a few major deaths, and a new relationship that shakes her foundations and leaves her questioning if she’s on the right path, but she always finds her way back to her original plan. I truly admire Audrey for her determination in herself, and for following her gut time and time again.
This novel made me tear up more than a few times, and had me openly weeping at the loss Audrey faces. I thoroughly enjoyed every second of this book, and will be recommending it to all of my friends who like historical fiction (looking at you, Robin). I think I just became a Noelle Salazar fan for life.
I have a soft spot for Historical Fiction, but an especially soft spot for WWII Historical Fiction. This novel was everything I didn’t realize I was missing from that genre. Instead of being directly on the front lines, and in the action overseas, we saw how women were contributing to the war efforts on U.S. soil.
I loved this novel from page one. I loved our main character, Audrey. I loved her passion for her work, even though she was in a male dominated career. I loved that she was unafraid to be herself, and boldly stand by her constitution of not wanting a husband or babies, but she never shamed other women for wanting those things! Yes, Audrey!
This novel starts off just before the attack on Pearl Harbor. It was absolutely gut wrenching knowing what was about to happen next to Audrey and her friends on that island. Audrey and her roommates were training young soldiers how to fly military aircrafts when the island is attacked. This is our first introduction to the many casualties of WWII from Audrey’s perspective.
This novel had so many elements that make it an instant favorite in my book: romance, strong independent women, high stakes, and female friendship. Audrey has a goal, and a dream. While she moves from place to place, that dream never changes. She faces a few major deaths, and a new relationship that shakes her foundations and leaves her questioning if she’s on the right path, but she always finds her way back to her original plan. I truly admire Audrey for her determination in herself, and for following her gut time and time again.
This novel made me tear up more than a few times, and had me openly weeping at the loss Audrey faces. I thoroughly enjoyed every second of this book, and will be recommending it to all of my friends who like historical fiction (looking at you, Robin). I think I just became a Noelle Salazar fan for life.
This novel is another one of my belated Edelweiss ARC’s. I was so excited to see it in person, and physically see the incredible cover art. After reading the novel, I studied the art again and discovered that there had been so many hidden secrets just waiting to be unveiled.
This novel was weird, but in a great and wonderfully mystical way. In this world, fertile land and overall well being, comes from great houses within each region. Each house holds the magic for that region, and when the houses begin to fail so do the crops, animals, and people in the surrounding areas. Our main character, Violet, has been born and bred to be the next caretaker of her great house. There is nothing in the entire world that she loves or cares about more than her house.
I loved how Violet and her house communicate. The personification, or anthropomorphism, of her house was intriguing and bewildering. We watch Violet struggle to come to terms with her failing house, and the evil the rests just beyond the surface. Violet grows as a character throughout this novel, as she goes from being a naive child to a women hardened by the choices her house makes.
Violet finds herself having to choose between saving the life she was created for, or saving the life she began creating for herself. This novel was harrowing and heart wrenching, delicate and understanding.
This novel was so unlike anything I have ever read before. My only complaint was that the dialogue and discussion between characters felt rather weak. Most of the dialogue that was exchanged between Violet and her house was seen and not heard. The author’s expertise, in my opinion, is in her descriptive writing style. This novel could have been told completely without the use of verbal dialogue, and I think I would have liked it even more.
This was such a unique read. I’m not sure I’ll ever read anything like it ever again.
This novel was weird, but in a great and wonderfully mystical way. In this world, fertile land and overall well being, comes from great houses within each region. Each house holds the magic for that region, and when the houses begin to fail so do the crops, animals, and people in the surrounding areas. Our main character, Violet, has been born and bred to be the next caretaker of her great house. There is nothing in the entire world that she loves or cares about more than her house.
I loved how Violet and her house communicate. The personification, or anthropomorphism, of her house was intriguing and bewildering. We watch Violet struggle to come to terms with her failing house, and the evil the rests just beyond the surface. Violet grows as a character throughout this novel, as she goes from being a naive child to a women hardened by the choices her house makes.
Violet finds herself having to choose between saving the life she was created for, or saving the life she began creating for herself. This novel was harrowing and heart wrenching, delicate and understanding.
This novel was so unlike anything I have ever read before. My only complaint was that the dialogue and discussion between characters felt rather weak. Most of the dialogue that was exchanged between Violet and her house was seen and not heard. The author’s expertise, in my opinion, is in her descriptive writing style. This novel could have been told completely without the use of verbal dialogue, and I think I would have liked it even more.
This was such a unique read. I’m not sure I’ll ever read anything like it ever again.
I won this book through Goodreads giveaways! If you haven’t checked out this section of Goodreads, you absolutely must! They have some amazing titles up for grabs.
I was so excited when I found out I won a copy of this book, and that it was a physical ARC. Romance novels are typically always a hit with me, and I thought this one would be no different.
I felt a little thrown off jumping into this novel, because it’s set in England. I had a hard time accumulating to the slang, and felt like I was missing out on some of the fun. But I didn’t want to let a cultural divide stop me from enjoying this novel so I plunged on!
I was about fifty pages from finishing when I decided this book just wasn’t for me, and I didn’t want to spend my time finishing it. The main character goes through a rough break up in the beginning of the novel, and begins fake dating her coworker. That premise alone was enough to interest me in this book. However, almost fifty pages towards our finale and our main character is still heartbroken and driven mad by her ex. I needed more closure and happiness in a romance novel. This one was too real, and hit a personal nerve for me. I read romance for the unrealistic fluff, not for the heart wrenching agony of a real life break up scenario.
I think a lot of people can and will enjoy this novel. I’m, sadly, not one of them.
I was so excited when I found out I won a copy of this book, and that it was a physical ARC. Romance novels are typically always a hit with me, and I thought this one would be no different.
I felt a little thrown off jumping into this novel, because it’s set in England. I had a hard time accumulating to the slang, and felt like I was missing out on some of the fun. But I didn’t want to let a cultural divide stop me from enjoying this novel so I plunged on!
I was about fifty pages from finishing when I decided this book just wasn’t for me, and I didn’t want to spend my time finishing it. The main character goes through a rough break up in the beginning of the novel, and begins fake dating her coworker. That premise alone was enough to interest me in this book. However, almost fifty pages towards our finale and our main character is still heartbroken and driven mad by her ex. I needed more closure and happiness in a romance novel. This one was too real, and hit a personal nerve for me. I read romance for the unrealistic fluff, not for the heart wrenching agony of a real life break up scenario.
I think a lot of people can and will enjoy this novel. I’m, sadly, not one of them.
I picked this book up from Target on a whim (during quarantine when I had to physically go into the store to pick up my prescriptions). The cover was so beautiful and intriguing I just had to know more about this book. The synopsis included some of my favorite things: a castle on the coast (I can practically smell the salt air), princesses, and fairytales. I was caught like a fish, hook, line, and sinker.
This book, right off the bat, was a grim dark, twisted version of a fantasy retelling. It reminds me a lot of the real story of Cinderella, the version that is decidedly not told to children. The first chapter opens with the funeral of one of Annaleigh’s twelve sisters. We learn quickly that a few of her sisters have already died, including their mother. Through Verity, Annaleigh’s youngest sister, we learn about their deaths in very gruesome and grotesque detail.
With most books, I try to start them without knowing much about the plot. I highly recommend going into this story as blind as possible. All you need to know beforehand is that this doesn’t hold back from gore, it’s a dark twisted fairytale, and you should probably keep a light one while you’re reading.
I did not know what I was getting myself into when I picked this book up. I honestly can’t remember the last time I was spooked while reading. I’ve never read or seen anything regarding the 12 dancing princesses fairytale. Maybe this book would feel more generic if I was intimately familiar with this particular tale, but I was mesmerized page by page. I was so focused on this story, that I was genuinely surprised when Annaleigh got a love interest (yay!!). This version of the fairytale included ghosts, romance, an unreliable stepmother, an unreliable narrator, gods, goddesses, and magic.
The writing was so well done. There was a really nice balance of descriptive settings, inner monologue, and external discussions. I can so vividly see this book in my head while reading (and even days after), which made some of the gorey scenes all the more upsetting. In a way, this book reminded me of Percy Jackson, but for a much older audience. We know we’re fighting an evil force, we just don’t know who or what that force is. The end of this book is as much a physical thriller as it is a psychological one. I did not have the foresight to imagine what could possibly happen next.
If you like fairytales in all their raw, dark, twisted, gorey glory, then please give this book a shot. I was blow away by this book that I happened to pick up on a whim, but so excited to read it again one day.
P.S.
If you can see past all the death, it does have a ‘happy’ ending. Which I know a lot of us need right now.
This book, right off the bat, was a grim dark, twisted version of a fantasy retelling. It reminds me a lot of the real story of Cinderella, the version that is decidedly not told to children. The first chapter opens with the funeral of one of Annaleigh’s twelve sisters. We learn quickly that a few of her sisters have already died, including their mother. Through Verity, Annaleigh’s youngest sister, we learn about their deaths in very gruesome and grotesque detail.
With most books, I try to start them without knowing much about the plot. I highly recommend going into this story as blind as possible. All you need to know beforehand is that this doesn’t hold back from gore, it’s a dark twisted fairytale, and you should probably keep a light one while you’re reading.
I did not know what I was getting myself into when I picked this book up. I honestly can’t remember the last time I was spooked while reading. I’ve never read or seen anything regarding the 12 dancing princesses fairytale. Maybe this book would feel more generic if I was intimately familiar with this particular tale, but I was mesmerized page by page. I was so focused on this story, that I was genuinely surprised when Annaleigh got a love interest (yay!!). This version of the fairytale included ghosts, romance, an unreliable stepmother, an unreliable narrator, gods, goddesses, and magic.
The writing was so well done. There was a really nice balance of descriptive settings, inner monologue, and external discussions. I can so vividly see this book in my head while reading (and even days after), which made some of the gorey scenes all the more upsetting. In a way, this book reminded me of Percy Jackson, but for a much older audience. We know we’re fighting an evil force, we just don’t know who or what that force is. The end of this book is as much a physical thriller as it is a psychological one. I did not have the foresight to imagine what could possibly happen next.
If you like fairytales in all their raw, dark, twisted, gorey glory, then please give this book a shot. I was blow away by this book that I happened to pick up on a whim, but so excited to read it again one day.
P.S.
If you can see past all the death, it does have a ‘happy’ ending. Which I know a lot of us need right now.