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platypusinplaid
AUDREY’S ONE-SENTENCE BOOK REVIEWS
The copy I am about to return on Libby has 5 people waiting, and I wish there was a way to tell them to read The Spear Cuts Through Water instead.
AUDREY’S LONGWINDED BOOK REVIEWS
I believe in holding books to certain standards and I do want to elaborate, for my own sake and for the sake of other readers, why it didn’t work for me:
1. Problems only last long enough to trigger a trope, and then get solved instantly (approximately 5 pages). Examples:
· Riverboat gets attacked by pirates > huddle for warmth trope > another boat rescues them!
· Get lost in the city > chased by police > hiding in a close space trope > look up and the inn is 1 block away!
· Get chased by giant bird into a cave > hurt/comfort trope > the bird gets bored and flies away, I guess. This happened off page so I don’t really know how they got out of that one.
2. Repetitive prose that uses a lot of rhetorical questions, as if the author doesn’t trust the reader to retain information and make the connections themselves.
· Chapter 81: Mikail: "What is he talking about? Why hope for a successful attempt?"
· Chapter 82: Royo: "But why did King Joon just congratulate us on assassinating him? One, he’s still alive. And two, what kind of man is happy about people trying to kill him?"
· Chapter 83: Euyn: "Why on earth did Joon plot his own murder? What is he up to?"
3. Inorganic dialogue and narration. Things no one would ever actually say except to impart information to a reader, like:
· "The millennial celebration? As in the one in fifteen days in Tamneki?"
· "At five foot ten, two hundred and thirty solid pounds, I haven’t been vulnerable in years."
· "I have on my normal amount of jewels and bangles, but the green brings out the purple of my eyes."
· "Finally, I notice no one is speaking. I’m confused for a moment about the silence, but then I remember it’s a heavy thing—taking the lives of so many men."
· "Each second I freeze ages me, and it seems to only be getting worse. It’s why I’m nineteen but look twenty-four."
· "The last thing I need today is to see the ghost of my whore of a mother."
4. Instantaneous mutual physical attraction between each couple. One, I could live with. But three couples comprised of the six main characters?* Relationships can be interesting without being romantic. For example, Sora learning to forgive her abuser’s son could be its own arc, without ending up making out in the villa. Perhaps the author was trying to appeal to 3 demographics at once: enemies-to-lovers, rekindled romance, and love at first sight.
5. My suspension of disbelief is extended to its limit. "The best killers in Yusan" are all under the age of 25? Get real! Mikail almost dies from blood loss and then never mentions his wounds again? Please! Several characters mention that the assassin group "[feels] like family," "feel[s] connected to them," and "want to be with the people who value me for me." These people have known each other two weeks and have nothing in common, besides trauma bonding, I suppose. "The only people who have truly ever cared whether I lived or died" only care because THEIR plans depends on each member of the team performing their part in the heist/murder.
6. No sympathy for the characters. I never looked forward to hearing from a particular perspective. Euyn hates women. Aeri is a quirky awkward girlie who is also the most deadly thief in the country. Royo is totally NOT into Aeri and/or her long legs so STOP implying that he is!! Mikail really lost my respect when he had the innocent bystanders at the tavern killed, and then accused them of "only car[ing] about their own hides". Sora redundantly observes what everyone else already said and Tiyung has nothing to add but 10-12 years of pining.
Romantasy can be done well. This just isn't it.
*indeed, this phenomenon is directly referenced in a Mikail chapter: "Everyone has kept to their own pairings—Sora and Tiyung, Aeri and Royo, and myself and Euyn."
The copy I am about to return on Libby has 5 people waiting, and I wish there was a way to tell them to read The Spear Cuts Through Water instead.
AUDREY’S LONGWINDED BOOK REVIEWS
I believe in holding books to certain standards and I do want to elaborate, for my own sake and for the sake of other readers, why it didn’t work for me:
1. Problems only last long enough to trigger a trope, and then get solved instantly (approximately 5 pages). Examples:
· Riverboat gets attacked by pirates > huddle for warmth trope > another boat rescues them!
· Get lost in the city > chased by police > hiding in a close space trope > look up and the inn is 1 block away!
· Get chased by giant bird into a cave > hurt/comfort trope > the bird gets bored and flies away, I guess. This happened off page so I don’t really know how they got out of that one.
2. Repetitive prose that uses a lot of rhetorical questions, as if the author doesn’t trust the reader to retain information and make the connections themselves.
· Chapter 81: Mikail: "What is he talking about? Why hope for a successful attempt?"
· Chapter 82: Royo: "But why did King Joon just congratulate us on assassinating him? One, he’s still alive. And two, what kind of man is happy about people trying to kill him?"
· Chapter 83: Euyn: "Why on earth did Joon plot his own murder? What is he up to?"
3. Inorganic dialogue and narration. Things no one would ever actually say except to impart information to a reader, like:
· "The millennial celebration? As in the one in fifteen days in Tamneki?"
· "At five foot ten, two hundred and thirty solid pounds, I haven’t been vulnerable in years."
· "I have on my normal amount of jewels and bangles, but the green brings out the purple of my eyes."
· "Finally, I notice no one is speaking. I’m confused for a moment about the silence, but then I remember it’s a heavy thing—taking the lives of so many men."
· "Each second I freeze ages me, and it seems to only be getting worse. It’s why I’m nineteen but look twenty-four."
· "The last thing I need today is to see the ghost of my whore of a mother."
4. Instantaneous mutual physical attraction between each couple. One, I could live with. But three couples comprised of the six main characters?* Relationships can be interesting without being romantic. For example, Sora learning to forgive her abuser’s son could be its own arc, without ending up making out in the villa. Perhaps the author was trying to appeal to 3 demographics at once: enemies-to-lovers, rekindled romance, and love at first sight.
5. My suspension of disbelief is extended to its limit. "The best killers in Yusan" are all under the age of 25? Get real! Mikail almost dies from blood loss and then never mentions his wounds again? Please! Several characters mention that the assassin group "[feels] like family," "feel[s] connected to them," and "want to be with the people who value me for me." These people have known each other two weeks and have nothing in common, besides trauma bonding, I suppose. "The only people who have truly ever cared whether I lived or died" only care because THEIR plans depends on each member of the team performing their part in the heist/murder.
6. No sympathy for the characters. I never looked forward to hearing from a particular perspective. Euyn hates women. Aeri is a quirky awkward girlie who is also the most deadly thief in the country. Royo is totally NOT into Aeri and/or her long legs so STOP implying that he is!! Mikail really lost my respect when he had the innocent bystanders at the tavern killed, and then accused them of "only car[ing] about their own hides". Sora redundantly observes what everyone else already said and Tiyung has nothing to add but 10-12 years of pining.
Romantasy can be done well. This just isn't it.
*indeed, this phenomenon is directly referenced in a Mikail chapter: "Everyone has kept to their own pairings—Sora and Tiyung, Aeri and Royo, and myself and Euyn."
adventurous
mysterious
tense
AUDREY'S ONE-SENTENCE BOOK REVIEWS
Missing out on the Phoebe/Maisie subplot because the POV character was too oblivious to notice😔 lol
Missing out on the Phoebe/Maisie subplot because the POV character was too oblivious to notice😔 lol
emotional
funny
reflective
AUDREY'S ONE-SENTENCE BOOK REVIEWS
"That’s what’s exciting about the theatre. It lives like Frankenstein’s monster, and like his sensitive, temperamental, unloved creation, the theatre is unpredictable and charged. The taste of that electricity is at its most pungent on opening night. You can feel it in your teeth. You’re alive. There is only you and them and Dionysus. You’re alive, and you won’t always be. One day you’ll be a skull with spiders in your eye sockets, so step into the light while you can."
"That’s what’s exciting about the theatre. It lives like Frankenstein’s monster, and like his sensitive, temperamental, unloved creation, the theatre is unpredictable and charged. The taste of that electricity is at its most pungent on opening night. You can feel it in your teeth. You’re alive. There is only you and them and Dionysus. You’re alive, and you won’t always be. One day you’ll be a skull with spiders in your eye sockets, so step into the light while you can."
AUDREY'S ONE-SENTENCE BOOK REVIEWS
"Gigi encourages children to rip the windshield wipers off their parents' automobiles so he can leave behind what he calls a Cheap Nothing: an empty Dixie cup, a John Grisham paperback, or even takeout Gigi didn't enjoy." - Chris Fleming
"Gigi encourages children to rip the windshield wipers off their parents' automobiles so he can leave behind what he calls a Cheap Nothing: an empty Dixie cup, a John Grisham paperback, or even takeout Gigi didn't enjoy." - Chris Fleming
dark
funny
tense
AUDREY'S ONE-SENTENCE BOOK REVIEWS
Have you ever asked yourself. What if Annihilation's Area X was a lesbian
Have you ever asked yourself. What if Annihilation's Area X was a lesbian
dark
mysterious
tense
AUDREY'S ONE-SENTENCE BOOK REVIEWS
feel-good fun for the whole family
feel-good fun for the whole family