Used to try and dream the agonies away. But you can’t. Take it from me. You can’t. They have to be endured.

Okay this actually went way too fucking hard for what I was expecting. To talk about this I have to talk about the movie, as I rewatched it because I started reading this, and I love to compare source material and adaptations.

Fun fact: I didn't really like the movie The first time I watched it, but I was in high school and a baby then. Now, I liked it more, but I didn't love it and here's why: the story is just SO much better in book form. Barker is an excellent writer and the expansion on the character's feelings and inner world make this so much better. The horror here is really hard to capture on screen because it's meant to be incomprehensible (similar to how Lovecraft stories rarely get good adaptations). 

The movie I like for the insane practical effects and Cenobite designs, but I find myself wanting more. Really I want him to drop the lore book, but I guess I have to read more of his stuff. 

The book makes some of the parts that irk me more bearable - I can't imagine being that obsessed with someone who literally could not give less of a shit about me, I'm so sorry Julia. The movie follows the book almost to a T, but I did think it was really strange to change Kristy's character from a friend with unrequited love for Rory to Rory's DAUGHTER. I wish they kept the dynamic from the book honestly, it added way more interesting layers. ANYWAY!!! THESE ARE JUST MY OPINIONS!!!

I've been in such an insane reading slump the past few months 😭 I may come back to this. For now I think I'm going to start reading through the books I got for Christmas as they're all things I've read before and love, so hopefully that rejuvenates me

Wow. Maybe the first time a book has genuinely horrified me in a while. The climax may seem a bit unrealistic to some, but I suppose I've seen the way people can be caught up in things to a wild extent. it's also Dad Issues the Novel™ so you know, it's a special place of horror for me

I don't think I can rate this yet as it's really something deserving of a reread (and probably note taking if we're being honest but I did not have the brainpower for that)

It's also so funny to see where authors get their inspiration from. I maybe shouldn't have read House of Leaves first because my brain kept expecting something spooky to happen lol

Hard to rate because it's very well written as her books always are, but I just didn't much care for it. A little too close to home in the ways of trauma if you will. I was starting to get a little 🧐 noticing that there's a pretty consistent theme in her male leads (white), but never fear, she knows that not all of us white boys can be one of the good ones lol. This jackass certainly isn't, I was praying on his downfall from the time he stepped foot on page.

I think I also like my murder mysteries/thrillers a bit more breezy and...fun? Which is weird because in movies I'm fine with the opposite. Anyways!

Baldwin had such a punishing ability to rake out these little aspects of the human condition we don't want to face. It genuinely boggles my mind sometimes.

Through the sickening and suffocating societal pressures he brings forth many ugly truths, though most poignantly in this story is that the only thing queer men learn to hate more than each other is themselves. All the more horrifying is how women are seen as empty shells to carry the burden of their hatred until they just can't take it anymore, and then they're discarded.

May we someday find that love need not be confined to rooms where they're shielded in shame but that we can share it proudly with the world, and more importantly, ourselves.

I will pick this up again later, as I was liking it. I've been in a reading rut lately, and I think starting a fantasy trilogy might be too big of an ask for my brain right now :/

It was during that time when someone asked me, “Why don’t you just interpret scripture through your Indigenous eyes?” I was kind of offended at that, and I didn’t get it right away, but I eventually realized that Jesus was not an Enlightenment-bound thinker. Jesus was an Indigenous man. In fact, none of the scriptures were written from an Enlightenment view, but they were taught to me that way. So I began to understand the scriptures differently and more importantly, I began to understand Jesus differently.

One of the best nonfiction reads I've had in a while, though I knew it was going to be a challenging one. I was never raised religious and have always been averse to Christianity because of how much harm it's caused. This book obviously hasn't made me walk down the path to Jesus or anything, but it has helped me understand those who still choose to in spite of everything. 

Separating out Jesus as an indigenous man and an important spirit regardless of what you believe was really interesting reframing to me. I learned a lot from this, and he pulls no punches when it comes to criticizing current Christian ideology compared to what was likely Aramaic oral traditions from centuries ago. Nor does he shy away from how Christianity and Western Worldview have caused hyper nationalism and genocide for centuries. 

There are plenty of indigenous stories in here as well that I really enjoyed. Idk overall, I really recommend this!

I'm very picky about apocalypse/dystopian stories, but this lived up to its title as a classic. The first chapter alone could serve as an essay about colonialism and the hubris of humanity. And for when it was written, it really is vocally anti colonialist. The setting of Britain of all places is very purposeful.

Parts genuinely disturbed me with how they reflected real life. The mass exodus from London reminded me so much of the Partition of India it hurt a little (predictively so, as this book was written over 40 years before that event). The level of inaction, arrogance, and callousness smelled so strongly of the pandemic. 

I think that's the main reason I like reading classics, because it reminds me that someone several decades, centuries, or even millenia ago can feel and articulate the same things we do now.