So, this book was one of the many books "donated" to the library while we were physically closed during COVID (and were not accepting donations). But you can't stop people from putting whatever they want in the book drop, as it turns out. Anyways, in this case, it turned out pretty well for me, as I'd been interested in reading it and was able to grab it for myself! 

 

Diaz's memoir covers her childhood and adolescence in both Puerto Rico and Miami. And what an intense and difficult youth it was. Every day, or so it seemed, she faced some kind of violence and trauma, from the inconsistencies in her home life (her father's infidelity/absenses, her maternal grandmother's judgement, her mother's battle with schizophrenia, her brother's violence) to the violence of her schools/neighborhoods (fights, substance misuse, abusive relationships, phsyical and sexual assault) to her own internal struggles with mental health (depression, suicide attempts, self-worth and identity) to the intergenerational trauma of colonialism. And yet, there are shining moments of support from her sister and close friends and paternal grandmother that give hope and a reason to push forward despite everything. 

 

Honestly, this memoir was a lot. I don't know if I was fully aware of what I was getting into when I started reading/listening, if I'm being honest. There was not a single moment or page that didn't need some kind of content warning. It was like hit after hit that, as it was difficult to absorb for myself as the reader, I cannot imagine what it must have been like to live. While all of these were affecting and a bit overwhelming, there was a particular thread, that of the real life case of Lazaro Figueroa, that was carried through the majority of the book that really hit me the deepest. I hadn't heard of it before, but the way Diaz follows it as it happens, refers back to it throughout, and reaches out to Figeroa's mother in prison, intertwining that story with her own speculations about motherhood and what it meant to her to be so profoundly let down by her own mother, the one person who is supposed to unconditionally and fully care for you, was very affecting. 

 

I will say that I did get a bit lost in the timeline, which absolutely could have been intentional, but when something was happening or how it fit into the larger picture of Diaz's life always felt just a bit out of my grasp. This was likely exacerbated by the style of her writing, as there were numerous times when she would describe a situation/emotion/reaction, followed by a statement like "but I wouldn't know that til later." So it was foreshadowed in that way and then more fully addressed later on and that jumping around left me feeling unmoored. However, like I said, that may have been the point, as imparting that feeling on the reader seems like another way Diaz communicated her own feelings of confusion and not-belonging as she grew up. 

 

Really, as with all memoirs, it's hard to write a full-on review. A person's life/experience is their own, to share or not as they see fit (and in this case, are brave enough to do). So other than what I've already touched on, and reiterating the warnings to future readers to be careful with the content, I'll just leave you with the overall vibe that I got while reading this. Despite the harshness of Diaz's life, this power in this memoir came in the form of her ode to all the "ordinary girls" like herself, the vividness and fierceness in her words and in sharing her story in order to recognize these lives like her own. And it was a potent message. 

 

(A final note, the Goodreads blurb for this one compares it to memoirs like Westover's Educated and Mailhot's Heart Berries and I have to be honest, those comparisons seem spot on to me, considering the intensity of the story/topics. Also, the style of writing, with Ordinary Girls as a sort of mix of those two narrative and poetic styles, respectively.)   

 

“This was our history, I would eventually learn. We’d come from uprisings against colonial rule, slavery, massacres, erasure. We’d carried histories of resistance, of protest.” 

“We’re supposed to love our mothers. We’re supposed to trust them and need them and miss them when they’re gone. But what if that same person, the one who’s supposed to love you more than anyone else in the world, the one who’s supposed to protect you, is also the one who hurts you the most?” 

“Everybody wanted to control what we wore, what we did, who we did it with. We were not the girls they wanted us to be. We were not allowed to talk like this, to want like this, were not supposed to feel the kind of desire you feel at thirteen, at fourteen. What kind of girl, they loved to say. What kind of girl, even as they took what we gave, took what we tried to hold on to. Our voices. Our bodies. We were trying to live, but the world was doing its best to kill us.” 

“…for the first time in my life, I believed I could be good at something, that I could have a life full of promise and opportunity. It was the first time in my life that people expected me to succeed, that they looked at me and saw someone who was smart, and capable, with a future. And it scared the hell out of me. It had been easier to let people assume I would end up dead, or in jail, or strung out and living on the streets. It had been easier to want nothing, to believe in nothing.” 

“This is who I write about and who I write for. For the girls they were, the girl I was, for girls everywhere who are just like we used to me. For the black and brown girls. For the girls on the merry-go-round making the world spin. For the wild girls and the party girls, the loudmouths an troublemakers. For the girls who are angry and lost. For the girls who never saw themselves in books. For the girls who love other girls, sometimes in secret. For the girls who believe in monsters. For the girls on the edge who are ready to fly. For the ordinary girls. For all the girls who broke my heart. And their mothers. And their daughters.” 

 

One more day, one more Psy-Changeling book down in my 2021 end-of-year paranormal romance series binge extravaganza. 

In this third installation, we jump over to the SnowDancer Pack of wolf changelings. Our female MC is Brenna, the same Brenna who was kidnapped/tortured by the evil Psy serial killer (no spoilers = I won’t name names) and saved at the last minute in the first book in the series. She is back with her Pack, but her overprotective brothers won’t let her out of their sight and she’s chafing. Plus, although she survived and brought herself back, she is (of course) dealing with myriad PTSD issues. Judd Lauren, on the other hand, is a Psy defector, taken in by the SnowDancers when he ran from the Psy along with his (surviving) family, who were all sentenced to rehabilitation. He’s cold as ice, was trained that way because of his particularly dangerous Psy ability, and his years as an assassin for them. However, he was there, lending his power to Sascha, during Brenna’s initial recovery, and even though her mind is in danger and her connection to her wolf side not what it used to be, and Judd refuses to give up his emotional control because it may cause her harm, their bond is strong enough to keep pulling them together. They’ll just have to fight for it. 

Phew. This was a much more intense book than the first two, even considering the unexpected violence/death that the first one brought. Brenna’s experiences at the hands of the Psy who tortured her in every way (physically, emotionally, psychologically) are brutal. And though she shares them with Judd slowly, over the course of the book, they’re still a lot. Like for real, I recommend being very careful in picking this one up if you have any history of violence against your mind/body in any way, because there’s no holding back in the descriptions here. It could easily be categorized as trauma porn, and yet it also felt like a very real portrayal of what PTSD after that type of trauma could/would look like. And though it’s not the first trauma that comes to mind while reading, Judd’s psychological conditioning, the way his “gifts” were used against him and the things he was forced to do/experience from a young age, is (apples to oranges, but still) on par with Brenna’s own experiences. It sets them up for the potential to be very unhealthy, but also, as the reader hopes is the case here, particularly right for each other. It was great to see that develop, and really more slowly and steadily and on equal footing than in the past two books as well, which was a nice change of pace (Brenna’s claws, her wolf intensity on par with Judd’s dominance, really stole the show here for me). As a side-ish note here, though the build takes a while, I have to say that the sex scenes, when they happened, were the best of the three books so far, in description and detail and intensity and length. So yea, that was lovely. 

The sibling relationships portrayed here, past even the closeness of the Pack connections, felt spot on, in their strength and their stifling-ness. And I loved seeing more of Hawke (his attitude in the past, especially picking at Lucas about Sascha) has always brought a smile to my face. Seeing him more in action here has me very excited for his future book (and I have an inkling where it’s going already too…). The last thing about this book that I want to mention is what it does to move forward the Psy-changeling portion of the story. Like yea, it was all about Judd and Brenna, and that was great (and the introduction of the in-Pack evil, which did a nice job balancing out what was threatening to become an unrealistically “good” Pack vs “bad” Psy dichotomy, as well as bringing some retribution that Brenna was able to take part in). But also, there was a ton of forward movement in the overall world itself. The connection of Judd to the “Ghost” within the PsyNet, as well as the few interactions of those on the Psy Council that we got to see, gave interesting detail into the plans of the Psy, the attempts to take down the changeling threat, and the internal faction fighting against the terrifying hive mind implant plans of the Council. Plus seeing the way the dominant predatory changelings interact with and protect the other changeling species (hyena, deer), and seeing the DarkRiver and SnowDancer collaboration through eyes from the other side, added more depth as well. I would have loved to see more Vaughn and Faith and/or Sascha and Lucas, but we got some and I get that as I go further in, there’s no way to get all the characters authentic page time.       

 A solid third book and I’m just as set on blasting through these books as before – the interest holds. So you know I’ve already got book four downloaded and I’m interested to see where the larger story-arc goes, as well as dive into the next mated pair romance! 

 

What did I tell you? The “I need a paranormal romance series to binge” bug has bitten me. I started this one basically immediately after finishing Slave to Sensation and here I am, like 24 hours late, already done. Now granted, I did have some plane travel hours in there, so the reading time was higher than normal (as a percentage of my “hours in the day” as compared to regular life), but still. I called it. And here we are. 

In this second installation of the Psy-Changeling paranormal romance series, we get the mating of Vaughn D’Angelo and Faith NightStar. Vaughn is a sentinel in the DarkRiver Pack of which our previous male MC (Lucas Hunter) is alpha. However, Vaughn is not a leopard, but rather a jaguar, adopted by the Pack after almost going feral to survive being abandoned by his parents as a child. So his animal side is much closer to the surface than many of the other changelings. Faith is a powerful F-Psy, meaning she has visions of the future (very beneficial for Psy business interests). She’s been kept basically in isolation since she was a child “for her own protection.” But Faith is feeling the cracks in her emotionless façade and when she seeks out the DarkRiver Pack to try and speak to Sascha about it, her interactions with Vaughn are hot and heavy from the start. But though they may have a connection that will overcome her Psy emotionlessness, that doesn’t mean the Psy are ready to lose such a major asset, so soon after Sascha, without a fight. 

Well, the “this is pretty much what you expect it to be” review from the first book in this series could, potentially, be copy and pasted here. So may of the aspects remained the same. Which, I realize, could be taken in a negative way. But I’m here to tell you that the part of me that was so ready for this binge is very happy with that. I want exactly what this series is giving. It’s such a low stakes and highly entertaining reading experience. 

There was definitely a different kind of sexual heat in this one, with the tension and build-up being the primary “steam” factors, since due to Faith’s intense touch sensitivity, she has to slow roll that part. And the “alpha male” vibe was, if anything, stronger here. But also, for all that, maybe healthier? Because Faith needed so much time/space, and Vaughn was deeply careful for his part, there was an interesting dichotomy in his extreme animal-ness and the intensity with which he held back. That gave this story a little something different. And while the “you have to choose: changeling mate or Psy loyalty” aspect was the same too, because of the “future visions” piece (and the related mental health scare involved) there was a unique tension as well. Again, it made it different enough, while still holding to the original formula. Past that, there was a bit more expansion as far as world-building, which I did enjoy, since, as I mentioned in the review for Slave to Sensation, there was some really cool psychic/mental power sci-fi type details. And the way this one developed gave some great, but not overbearing, foreshadowing for future plotlines and Psy-changeling relations on a larger level, which holds promise for the future books in the series to stay fresh. 

I flew through this second book, because now that I’m more familiar with the world, the page-turning is happening even faster – the details build on the structure I’m already comfortable with. I like Faith and Vaughn together more than Sascha and Lucas, I think, (though I was excited with how involved in the story those two remained – I’m glad we aren’t fully leaving behind each couple as we move onto future main characters in the romances), but I also feel like their story is not going to stick out as far as details, more an overall vibe of liking them better as a pairing. This second one stood up/added to the first well, for me, and I’m already getting started on book three!  

 

I love witches. And this title was eye-rolling-ly catchy. And the cover art is actually legit right on point for my preferred witchy aesthetic. And I actually won a copy from a Goodreads giveaway (can you believe it?! - that like, never happens). And I was going on vacation to Hawaii and honestly I can't think of any better beach read than a witchy f/f rom-com. Talk about the stars lining up perfectly. 

 

Emmy Harlow is a descendent of one of the four magical families that founded the town of Thistle Grove. The least powerful family...so her witchy powers are rather negligible. And due to some personal history with the son of another of the founding families, and her personal goals of forging her own way in the world, she's spent the last years in a self-imposed exile. But she's drawn back by some good old parental guilt-tripping to serve out her role as Arbitrator for this generation's spellcaster tournament (and to see her close friend Linden Thorn, of course). Although Emmy is focused on doing her duty and getting back out to her real life in Chicago ASAP, she finds herself caught up in a revenge plot with Linden and another founding family descendent, Talia Avramov (a dark witch with a badass attitude) who all have their reasons for watching to get back at Gareth Blackmoore (Emmy's ex and heir apparent as tournament winner). Plus, she's finding herself completely drawn in by the talented, sexy, totally in control, and secretly romantic-softie, Talia.   

 

Perhaps there wasn't anything "high-brow lit" about this novel, but all I have to say is that I was here for every single magical part of it. I loved the town of Thistle Grove – it’s Stars Hallow autumnal feel but with the added bonus of witch families and magic. I loved the overarching plot, with the spellcasting competition to determine which family representative would “lead” the town for the next generation. I loved the sub-plot of the revenge pact among Emmy, Linden and Talia to take down the dominant Blackmoore family and stick it to Gareth specifically, after screwing all three of them over separately, in the process. Classic (and a fun, lighthearted take on how the “smaller” players can take down the “big power” when they’re able to band together over common ground to fight back). I loved the connection Emmy has with Thistle Grove and the way that, as she realizes how deep it flows, she also comes into her own power, as well as a more “real life” coming of age where she learns not to let a**holes from her past decide how and where she lives her future. And, of course, I loved Talia and Emmy. They were opposites attract in so many ways, the obvious ones and the under the surface ones, and yet they were perfect for each other – helping each other see where they needed to branch out/grow and where they were perhaps right where they needed to be – I love that combo of being what the other needs as far as both safety and pushing limits. 

 

I loved the way the magic was woven into the town and story; it was well explained while not going overboard with details or leaving holes. I loved the nerdy magical/fantasy references, from LOTR references to the recognizable histories of each family and the witch stereotypes/famous witches (i.e. Morgane le Fay and Baba Yaga) to the full on deep fantasy references that appealed to my literary and old school magic sense (i.e. succubus, strigoi, grimoire, glamours, selenite etc.). I loved the little details, like the witch-wannabe subscription box and the names of the drinks at the local bars and the family businesses, that added cute and on-vibe depth to the setting-building. I loved the writing itself: that perfect mix of snarky and conversational and smart and fast that (if you check some of my other reviews, like One Last Stop and Darius the Great is Not Okay) you’ll notice is a favorite of mine…I find it so relatable.    

 

Overall, I just loved this one. Is it perfect? Perhaps not. Was it the perfect read for me, what I was looking for? Yes! It is a wonderful witchy take on a more traditional romance with going full bore paranormal stylistically. There were a few small passages that I pulled out, specifically “Big Witch Energy” and “decadent Persephone aesthetic” that are both the perfect descriptors of this novel and my new life goals. This book is a vibe that I couldn’t want to be more.  

 

“She looked like a daughter of Lilith, the kind of succubus you’d want creeping into your bedroom at the dark of the moon.” 

 

 “A fire that felt like madness, like it might never be put out.” 

I spent the last week on vacation in Hawaii (a trip that has been postponed for over a year, for all the obvious reasons) and it was amazinggggggg. I had a few books on deck to bring/read, but knew that I was going to want some deep romance reads because that is the perfect beach/poolside genre for me. I did a little research and re-stumbled upon the Black Dagger Brotherhood series that I binged the shit out of a few years ago (or maybe longer, since it was pre-blog). Anyways, the feels for a new bingeable paranormal romance series that I could get totally lost in (and speed through) hit hard. And, having had it on my backburner radar for a while now, this was the series I landed on. 

 

Sascha Duncan is Psy – the economic ruling species with varying psychic powers, that has trained themselves to not feel emotion or react to stimuli over generations. Lucas Hunter is Pack alpha of DarkRiver leopards, changelings (part human, part animal) who survive on emotion and connection. When the two are thrown together to work on a precarious, and first of its kind, business deal. But Lucas also has ulterior motives of gaining insight/access to secret Psy information in an attempt to track down the murderer responsible for the deaths of a number of his packmates. And Sascha is attempting to hide her increasingly deteriorating ability to ignore her emotions (her “flaw”). Cue the development of a sensual romance between these two conflicting species/worlds. 

 

Well, despite the horrific title (I mean seriously, I’m here for exactly what this story provided, but this title makes me cringe when I think about it for so many reasons), this story hit the damn spot. If you go in expecting the exact “trashy” paranormal romance vibe that the title indicates, you will be completely satisfied with what you get. Does it hit the reader over the head with the animal sexuality of the “beast” side of the changelings? Yes. Are the “exotic” descriptors a bit much? You better believe it. Are the descriptions of the lightening and heat and sizzling affects of touch/eye contact on the arousal of the characters overdone? Of course. Did I speed through this book in like, a few hours, and immediately check the next one out from the library? Absolutely. 

 

I also do feel like it’s worth noting some interesting aspects that were included as well. I honestly was impressed with the depth of development of the Psy and changeling cultures. I mean yes, a lot of it was predictable, but it was also there was some real nuance to it. In addition, there were a few really original and creative psychological aspects and connections that (as a fantasy/sci-fi lover) I was legitimately fascinated by. There were a few holes, but nothing major, especially when considering other sci-fi tropes/stories, and I thought a couple things were quite unique in a more general sense. So that was unexpected and pretty cool. In particular, the way that dreams were used to give some steamy scenes quickly, but in a believable way, considering a realistic pace for the two characters to get to that point IRL under the setting/circumstances, was nicely done. Sort of related, and I know this is a personal preference (or not), but the heavy protective “mated male” trope is strong in this novel and, I can’t help it (I know it’s not exactly healthy), but I love it. I was hoping for it and I got it in full force. 

 

I know a murderer was mentioned in the plot blurb, but let me just say, the entire plot of that part of the story was way more involved and had way more page time than I had been anticipating. It was much more intense than expected as a result (CW: kidnapping, confinement, torture, psychological/emotional and physical abuse, violence and death), but also gave a lot more depth to the book overall. Just, be careful going into it if you know that’s a triggering topic for you, because it’s not glossed over. Similarly, be careful as there is significant parental loss (of the violent sort) and childhood trauma as well. 

 

So yea, this book is, mostly, exactly what it advertises itself as. And it was completely what I wanted on vacation. In fact, as I enter my cold-weather, early-dark, end of year “meh” period, I do believe the binge of this series that I have on my horizon is going to be on par with the BDB binge of a few years past. And I am not at all sorry.  

 

I got my hands on this book through a used book sale. The cover is so deeply striking (the colors, the contrast, the design, the font, all of it!) and I was drawn right to it. Plus, the title itself is really intriguing: Like a Love Story. Like one, but not actually one? How does that work; what does it mean? And despite not seeing any blog or bookstagram reviews of the book, it seemed like the Goodreads community loved it (super high star rating from a significant number of reviewers). So, I impulse-bought it. And I've been in the car a lot for work this week (like 5 hours a day, ooof), so I grabbed the audiobook from my library and decided to listen (a great choice, as the cast narration was fantastic). 

 

Like a Love Story is told from three perspectives. Reza, Art and Judy all attend a private high school in NYC. Judy and Art have been friends for years, as long as they can remember. Art is the only out gay student at the school, a very big deal, considering the year (1989) - deep into the AIDS crisis and related fear and misinformation and blaming the gay community. He's loud and proud about it, inviting quite a bit of intense bullying from other students. Judy loves designing and makign clothes and is very close with her Uncle Stephen, who is gay, living with AIDS, and deeply involved in activist work with ACT UP.  Reza is new in school, just moved from Canada, and knows he likes boys but is so deeply terrified by the news of gay men dying of AIDS that he does everything he can to push it down and pretend it's not true, including agreeing to date Judy, the first friend he's made at his new school, despite feeling guilty knowing that while his feelings for her are real, they are based only on wanting to be friends, nothing more. At the same time, he's repressing quite a few "more than friends" feelings about Art. And so, the drama of high school friends and crushes, set against a larger backdrop of intense social activism and homophobia, creates the basis of this YA novel. 

 

Phew this story was intense, emotionally and topically, from start to finish. And I mean that in the "it was a great story" way and also in the "be careful because it will make you cry and there are quite a few content warnings" way. Starting with Art, Reza and Judy - wow they were all so well written. Very individual voices for each, which I find doesn't always happen this well with POV-rotating stories (especially when the POVs are youth). The mix of teenage hormones (which were raging in a very on-point way), deep friendship loyalty, the extreme emotions and self-centeredness (phew, a lot of that) that come with puberty and adolescence, the combination of self-consciousness and intense opinions, and the internal acknowledgement of when they mess up juxtaposed with and lack of skill/ability in communicating regret/apology, is all incredibly authentic. And, as I said, the audiobook narrators for each of the three really rocked their performances. 

 

This is all intensified by the societal issues that are adding even more to the list of things these teens are coping with.  And that is where the emotional aspects of the novel really took hold of me as a reader. Nazemian captured the whole generation(s) of queer people dismissed and scared to be who they are and love who they live - and dying and alone and blamed for it - in heartbreaking detail. In fact, after reading his author's note at the end, I realized why he was able to write it with such genuine feeling: he lived it. He talks about his personal experience of what it meant to grow up gay in the "in between" generation, not the front lines of AIDS by pre-treatment availability, and how that informed this novel (Reza's story following his own closely and, from what I can tell, Art standing in as his first boyfriend, who did a lot for him in terms of coming out and accepting who he is). So, yes, the way these youth are forced to confront mortality as the price of love in the face of AIDS is...a lot. And the fact that this vehement and widespread bigotry is so not that long ago (within my own lifetime, in fact) makes it all even worse. The rage and fear (from all three youth, as well as a few of the adults in the story) are so deeply communicated. And that, combined with anti-queer venom on all levels from policy to interpersonal, plus the reality of the feelings of invisibility and powerlessness, makes this a really difficult read. Plus, Nazemian doesn't shy away from other complicating social factors either, like wealth and gender and cultural background, and the way those intersectional identities play into all the other experiences already mentioned is. Included in this, in a variety of ways, is parental/familial support (or lack thereof). There is quite a bit of parents rejecting and denying and failing their children that is truly upsetting to read; so much added rejection and shame based on fear mongering, what things "look like" on the outside, and very skewed ideas of "protecting" their children. (On the flipside, there are a number of other family relationships, especially siblings, that are incredibly supportive and I loved that.) All in all, lots of tough subjects and none of them are softened. 

 

And yet, despite all of that (or perhaps because of it), the narrative voices also had a unique and sometimes really funny vibe, a spot on parallel to the way people survive by joking through the pain and injustice. And Stephen's integration into each character's growth and "coming of age" was marvelous. He was a sort of fairy godfather type character and I loved the device. In particular, his queer history/culture flashcards and the way they were integrataed, was wonderful (and will make you cry in the "overflow of good emotions" way). The bittersweet ending of the story then, centered around Stephen, is that much more emotionally devastating when it happens (and you know that it's coming). It hits in the feels like nobody's business and listening to this while driving turned out to be really questionable because it got hard to see clearly through all the tears. Plus, the way Reza and Art and Judy's relationships all end is bittersweet in exactly the right way and between that and the hefty role Madonna and her music played in the development of the story, I have to say that the title was perfect. 

 

This was just a beautiful and incredibly emotional (all the rage and passion) depiction of the queer rights movement being based deeply in love, the right to have and express it, and how is that possibly wrong? Plus, it's a fantastic homage to the queer activists and history that fought to make today possible, even though there is still so much work to do, is inspiring and should absolutely not be forgotten (even if we likely won't ever see it in textbooks and have to rely on our own ways of telling that history, with stories like this one...and actually, if you're looking for another similiar-ish idea, I recommend Sahsa Masha.) I highly recommend this novel, with the caveat of being ready for it, because it is intense. 

 

“I need to live, and to live, I can't ever be what I know that I am.” (What a horrible choice to be forced to face as a teen!) 

 

“I hate that a moment that should be joyful is filled with so much anguish.” 

 

“If you use God to tell people created by God that they're sinners for who they love, then I give you a great big middle finger and invite you to sit on it.” 

 

“Us. All of us. What we did. What we fought for. Our history. Who we are. They won't teach it in schools. They don't want us to have a history. They don't see us. They don't know we are another country, with invisible borders, that we are a people. You have to make them see. [...] You have to remember it. And to share it. Please. Time passes, and people forget. Don’t let them.” 

 

“The most important four-letter word in our history will always be love. [...] That's what we are fighting for. That's who we are. Love is our legacy.” 

 

 

After reading and being so impressed by Oseman’s Radio Silence a few years ago, I have been meaning to read more of her work. As it always goes, it took me awhile to get there. And now I am deeply perturbed by the fact that my library only has the first installation of this graphic series, because how I am supposed to survive without immediately picking up the next one after this start/romantic cliffhanger ending?! 

Charlie Spring is quiet, fairly high strung, and openly gay. Nick is a rugby-player a year ahead of Charlie in school. When they end up seated together in class one day, a sort of unexpected friendship starts between the two, considering how (outwardly) it seems like they have very little in common. As they start to spend more time together, Charlie starts to feel more than friendship towards Nick, even though he knows Nick is totally straight. But Nick is realizing that he feels like he can really be himself more around Charlie than anyone else, and perhaps that feeling of comfort is more that just friendship. As they grow closer, and deal with the general complications of high school, who knows what could develop… 

What a bingeable read! It was so sweet and heartwarming and, as a graphic novel, paced super quickly. I basically powered through it in one, deeply comforting, sitting. I almost couldn’t turn pages fast enough. Charlie and Nick are so adorable together. I love the parallels in their feelings about each other, both loving the time they spend together so much, and knowing it’s special, but being hesitant about what that means (Charlie because he thinks Nick is straight, Nick because he thought he was straight and is having to do some reevaluating). To be honest, I really identified with Nick here – the Googling to figure out your feelings, the “I liked girls but now I maybe like a boy” search resonated hard with me (though in reverse, of course). I was so into the way Nick instinctively protected Charlie and the way Charlie was willing to be pushed out his comfort zone (athletically, socially) by Nick. Overall, their entire development was *squeeeee* and I found myself cheesing throughout most of this graphic novel. 

There was also some really accurate high school drama mixed in – bullying/homophobia, toxic relationships, parties – to add some further authenticity to the story build. And some great side characters (honestly, I’m looking at you, rugby coach, with your timely sexuality education/call-out, here) really rounded things out. Plus, the art was super fun. There was such great movement in the panels. Their upbeat style was perfect for the story and they really set the baseline for the fast pace of the novel. The way Oseman conveys depth and variety of emotions in faces and gestures and small movements/touches, without needing any words at all to move the plot along or communicate a feeling/reaction, is so impressive. 

This is a *butterflies in your tummy* sort of read. Quick and gentle and fully charming, I was immediately drawn to these characters and want to hug them all. What a recognizable high school reality, with a focus on the “better” parts, to leave the reader with that heartwarming vibe. I can totally see what this was chosen to be adapted to screen by Netflix and I will definitely be requesting my library get the rest of the series because I need to know what happens next for Charlie and Nick!    

  

 

Despite seeing so many mixed reviews of this one, my “I’m looking for a spooky but not too scary October read” self, decided it was a winner. Plus, thanks to Libro.fm’s ALC program, I had an audiobook of it on deck (convenient, since work this month has had me driving all over the state). Though I also grabbed a copy from my library because I saw an illustrator credited as well and you know I had to see what that was all about (worth it, is the verdict there). 

There is quite a bit going on in this novel (makes sense, considering its length), but let me see if I can distill it down. In 1902, at only 19 years old, Mary MacLane published a controversial and groundbreaking memoir of feminism and sexuality and just general women stuff that theretofore had not really been acknowledged openly, or even behind closed doors. It was a hit. (And, as this reader has just learned, a real publication, but that’s besides the point.) Around that same time, a rash of creepy and possibly not-explainable deaths struck at the Brookhants School for Girls. These deaths were all tied in some way to a group a girls self-proclaimed as the Bad Heroine Society (a group named after and devoted to MacLane’s words). MacLane’s memoir was on-site at all the deaths. In the present day, Brookhants is old and crumbling, but is about to get a second life as a movie adaptation of The Happenings at Brookhants, a queer, feminist account of those “cursed” days and the potential haunting of the Brookhants site. Starring current darling Harper Harper, B-list actress Audrey Wells, and helped along by the book’s author, Merritt Emmons, this horror movie (with shades of The Omen as far as on-set disasters go), is creating quite a bit of buzz (pun intended). And as the story of the original events and the current day production unfold alongside each other, a sinister tale of queer and female repression emerges, plus a whole lot of low-key horror vibes to keep it company. 

Phew – I don’t know if that made sense or was too much or not enough, but I did my best. Let’s start easier…with the writing. It was wonderful. Danforth’s narrative voice is strong and clear and unique and I truly enjoyed it. Speaking directly, in asides, to the reader is a device that can, and did, get a little stale, at times. But it also did feel like the right choice; it was just a long book. The scene-setting and atmosphere-creation were truly top notch. (The yellow jackets – this novel did nothing for my fear of bees – and the algae and the apples and the angel’s trumpet were all given deeply sinister descriptions and roles and hit home but were never too much to deal with.) And the illustrations, as I mentioned, were a phenomenal addition and right in line stylistically. 

Let’s talk about the plot a little. This is the part where I felt like the book suffered the most. Danforth’s vision was so expansive, and the book so long to accommodate it, I think a few things got lost. The character development was great, both in present-tense with our three leading ladies, as well as with Libbie and Alex (who led Brookhants in 1902 when the macabre deaths all occurred). And though the book did feel a bit dragging at times, I also felt like, to be fair, the depth and believability of the way those relationships evolved would not have happened in less time. This is especially true of Merritt/Harper/Audrey, as the slow build tension/fear/attraction amongst them really needed the time to marinate. Whereas Libbie and Alex in 1902 were buoyed much more by the plot-advancement that occurred more primarily during their sections. Relatedly, Danforth walks that line of “what your mind can make you believe” with suggestion/guilt/drugs versus actually unbelievable horror aspects with skill. I was super impressed by that throughout. And when the final details do emerge about who was pulling strings in the background, and for what specifically and why, the length of time and depth of effort it all took to unfold, was intense…and scarier for it. And it left just enough unanswered questions to make you wonder if that’s all that was behind these events, but not so much that you know not to believe it. Applause for that.  

 Anyways, back to the places where I felt like a bit of the plot got lost. Really, it came down to the end, the last few chapters. I got a little confused in the details. The story took so long to get underway, since the set-up was so key to the atmosphere built, that when the explanations and reveals all came together, things sort of blended together for me. I wasn’t totally clear on who was related to who and how. Plus, I was confused about why Libbie and Alex were blamed/at fault since they just seemed taken advantage of to me? Maybe it was more just wrong place/wrong time and they got suspicious and they were loose ends? Or maybe I missed something? Trying to keep It vague here, to avoid spoilers. I did appreciate the “original” story of the Brookhants land that was revealed – I am always here for calling out the ways the “winners,” the powerful, the (in this case and in many others) white cis men, rewrite history to leave out the parts that make them “look bad” at best and are straight evil/illegal at worst (as in this case). 

A note worth its own moment: I deeply cannot describe how much the sapphic aspects of this novel were gratifying. From the historical depictions and realities and workarounds to the present day for our three leading ladies, the way Brookhants was a haven in all cases, for better or worse, was viscerally affecting. I felt…safe? seen? comforted? in those details. And I despite the fantastical aspects, and the creeping fearful pieces, the always-there discomfort in those horror pieces, I will also be taking that deep-seated belonging feeling away from the book as well.     

I was really unsure about the book jacket descriptions of this novel being “wickedly whimsical” and a “horror-comedy,” because I just wasn’t sure those were really achievable descriptors. But color me wrong because they’re actually rather accurate. And while some parts of the development fell a bit flat, I do have to say the overall aesthetic of sapphic, rebellious women hit the dang spot. I can’t figure out how I felt about the book as a whole yet, but I am pretty confident saying that I feel like my time with this ambitious novel was, in fact, time well spent. 

“Isn’t that what the swell of a crush is, after all? Recognizing the flush of truth in all the love cliches?” 

“That’s history for you, my darlings. When you dig it up, it always carries a whiff of rot.” 

 Another shoutout to The Reading Women Challenge 2021 for the “rush” to pick up this one. The “South American Author in Translation” prompt had a few contenders for it on my TBR list, but the cover for this one was the tipping factor. Plus the base concept is one that I was really interested in, as South American authors have a phenomenal tradition of writing in the dark-magical-realism realm.  

 

Our unnamed narrator has a special skill – eating earth from areas where women and children have disappeared gives her visions about where they’ve gone or what happened to them.  In a slum in Argentina, these visions are never anything but dark, terrible, hard to “watch.” When word gets out, Eartheater is pulled into a relationship with a local police officer and is overwhelmed by the requests for information from people missing loved ones.  

 

This was such a fast read! I mean, it’s not a super long book, but the writing is also very sparse, in a poetic (in its rhythm) way, and it leant itself to quick page-turning. It was, in fact, the perfect style for this story: the no-frills, staccato style of the sentences contributed to the overall vibe really well. It communicates the terse interactions of the young woman at the center, the reluctant Eartheater (because how else could she be, with the horror of what she’s forced to experience first hand from all the requests after her skills), so well, adding a great literary atmospheric depth to the story. It’s also spot on for the age and outlook of the narrator – a young women living in poverty, having witnessed familial violence to the most extreme degree, and living in the aftermath of that, while still being, at base, still almost a child (in her interests, at least). With that, the translation was overall really solid – the note from the translator at the end, with commentary on the difficulty of translating some of the barrio-specific language, was fascinating. And I’m always so impressed with this type of literary translation. There was one word, in particular, that struck me weird every time I read it though. Every time the book mentioned the MC “scarfing” earth, I got kicked out of the flow for a minute. It is not a huge thing, but it did some up a lot, considering the premise, and I just never settled with it as the right word choice. But that’s a super personal thing and the rest was amazing, literarily.  

 

I want to highlight here, if I haven’t enough already, how incredibly clever the earth-eating “visions” at the center of the story were. The idea that the earth can tell what happened on it, can give insight to the last moments of life or the current location of kidnapped women, is brilliant. And also, so completely creepy (like eating dirt is definitely some horror-leaning stuff, conceptually), which is in perfect parallel to the terrible dark realities that it’s giving insight into. This novel highlights, with unflinching yet mystical clarity, the ongoing prevalence of violence against women and femicide in South America; specifically the way that law enforcement and policy have abandoned poor communities to, essentially, just live with the violence and loss and grief and death and the “fend for yourself lawlessness” reality that those left behind, even and especially youth, live within. 

 

Phew. Fast though this read may be, it is full-on heavy and gritty. And it does bring that perfect South American magical realism spirit, with an extra feminist bruja lens that I was completely here for. Unique and harrowing. 

 

“I’d started noticing a special trait in people who were looking for someone, a mark near the eyes, the mouth, a mixture of pain, anger, strength, and expectation made flesh. A thing broken, possessed by the person who wasn’t coming back.” 

 

“No blue was the same and no earth tasted alike. No child, sibling, mother, or friend was missed like another.” 

 

“The world must be larger than I’d imagined for so many people to have disappeared in it.” 

 

“It isn’t just love that makes the heart race, but music too.” 

 

 

 

 

 

 I got there. I might be one of the last people in the world to read McQuiston's sophomore novel, but I got there. Does anyone else sometimes put off a book you know you're going to love, or at least strongly think you're going to love, because you don't want the reading experience to happen and then be over? Maybe? I sometimes delay finishing a series for this same reason. Anyways, I think I suffered a bit from that. Also, I loved Red White and Royal Blue so much that I was nervous about my expectations being unreasonable. And then the reviews were all so dang positive that that feeling just grew. And now here I am, the reading caboose on this one, as it were. 

 

August moves to NYC content to be alone, convinced having no belongings and no people that matter to her will keep her life simple...there's just less to lose. But when she moves into an apartment with some rather off-the-wall roommates and starts working at a 24-hour pancake diner, she starts to make some unexpected connections. Friends. The kinds of friends that can become a family. And then she meets this girl on the subway. This spectacular, mesmerizing, attractive, there's-just-something-about-her girl: Jane. August plans her entire commute around being on Jane's train. Over time, the sparks between Jane and August grow, but something becomes clear. Jane doesn't just have an old school punk rock vibe, she actually is old school punk rock. She's been displaced in time, from the 1970s, and has been stuck on the Q train ever since. Something about their connection is making Jane remember, and August is realizing she'd do anything to help Jane remember, and find her way home - even if it involves some magic (which she doesn't believe in), sleuthing (she thought left that life behind), and losing the girl she's fallen in love with (excuse me, what?! love?!).  

 

So I ask you, how is it possible that McQuiston has managed to write two perfectly swoon-y, compelling, full-hearted, with the exact right alternate reality/paranormal twist, in a row?? I do not know. But I am deeply grateful. My thoughts on this one are a jumble of a list of all the things that were so wonderful about it. McQuiston's writing is the perfect compelling contemporary narrative voice for the characters and the story. It's smart and snarky and real. I also love how all the characters are like normal "new adults" with normal jobs and attainable situations and aspirations and, let's be honest, issues. They're weird and special in lots of ways, but they're also so....genuine. It all felt recognizable and a little enviable. The enviable part being that, for most of them (other than August, really) they were all happy with the little part of the world they'd created and carved out for themselves - untraditional as it was. With that, the found family. Let me just say it again, the found family. That's about all I've got. It was everything. All in all, with the characters and the story and the setting(s) and the vibe (drag queens and diners and subways!) - it just all felt so quintessentially NYC. 

 

Other things. More things! The mix of paranormal/supernatural and real life/tangible detective work was so freaking charming. And really, the entire displaced from time and stuck on a train and re-finding memories and sci-fi use of electricity to get Jane back to her own time was so original. This mystical take on the reality of electrical pulses as love/emotion/connection is super cool. There were a couple of steamy scenes that were like...hot damn . This is another thing that McQuiston did gorgeously in RWARB and does again here. In particular, the first (legit) kissing scene had me like...mouth hanging open and breath speeding up (and that was before it went past kissing). Phew. And in general Jane and August are just *chef's kiss* together - their jointly (but differently) prickly outsides hiding their softie (for each other) insides is great. Also the other relationships are just as spot on. I don't think I could have loved Niko and Myla more. And the entire Wes and Isaac back and forth. Honestly, it was all, as I've already said, wonderfully swoon-y. Finally, there are so many things happening in this story. Different times and stories and people that McQuiston somehow manages to bring together by the end in a neatly wrapped package that would be cliche/trite in another author's hands. But here, it's just satisfying. The ending I wanted, with a mostly happily ever after/mystery solved vibe, but with a sliver of reality that makes it feel all the more authentic, with promise for a future that is full of just as much adventure/love. 

 

They were already, basically, but McQuiston is now an auto-buy author for me. I'm here for the fullness and the rep (oh hey, bi peeps) and the steaminess and the friends (and other side characters) and the love and the compelling story bringing it all together. Twice in a row, McQuiston has delivered a story with the perfect mix of contemporary/real and fantastical twist and a romance I want to read again immediately. I am in awe. 

 

“Time. Place. Person.” 

 

“…she’s going to need more notebooks. It’ll take a million to hold this girl.” 

 

“August thinks distantly about her gradual stumble into knowing she was bisexual, the years of confusing crushes she tried to rationalize away. She can’t imagine always knowing something huge about herself and never questioning it.” (THIS.) 

 

“…defiant by existing…” (I just loved this sentiment, thrown into/buried in a greater sentence, but holding so much alone, in just three words.) 

 

“…you’re movies and destiny and every stupid, impossible thing…”